Relationship advice please :( - we're fighting about marriag

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  • CaoimheAine
    CaoimheAine Posts: 195
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    You're asking complete strangers, over the internet to give advice about YOUR personal relationship???

    As if that doesn't speak for itself... Anyway he sounds like a douche, move on and find someone who is perfect for you.
  • mischa_12
    mischa_12 Posts: 137 Member
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    Thank you so much for all your insightful replies. He did previously mention marriage quite a bit, that is until he started having all these massive changes in his life with his career and sadly a family member passing away.

    We have only spent a month living together so I think when I go back to his state again we will have a better chance of seeing how things will work. I don't want marriage at this stage, of course it would have been nice to have that option because I do love him a lot...who knows, maybe he might change his mind after we get to spend time together in person again.
  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,063 Member
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    Thank you so much for all your insightful replies. He did previously mention marriage quite a bit, that is until he started having all these massive changes in his life with his career and sadly a family member passing away.

    We have only spent a month living together so I think when I go back to his state again we will have a better chance of seeing how things will work. I don't want marriage at this stage, of course it would have been nice to have that option because I do love him a lot...who knows, maybe he might change his mind after we get to spend time together in person again.

    I hate to say it, but it is highly unlikely that he will change his mind. People just don't change their opinions and beliefs on a whim. If you want to get married, and he doesn't, that will create resentment in your relationship for as long as it survives. I understand that you love him, but if your goals and his don't match, it's not meant to be.
  • rossi02
    rossi02 Posts: 549 Member
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    One of the hardest lessons to learn.. when someone tells you they don't want to marry you, (especially after talking about marriage with you before), they are telling you the truth. He's trying to word it in a way that he has his disclaimer out, so he will not feel guilty for using you when he wants you.
  • bluberrygoo
    bluberrygoo Posts: 222 Member
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    If you are in relationship with him, then he should already be commited to you. Marriage is just the next step. If he's saying he doesn't want be commited to you, then break up with him. Simple.
  • peekaabooo
    peekaabooo Posts: 19
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    I did the long distance thing a few years back and trust me its not the road you want to go down. If its been years of this and you guys aren't together physically yet then my suggestion is move on. You say that you spend a month together which is great but if he isn't including you in his future plans then that's your answer. Hun, if he really wanted to be WITH you then he would be.Don't waste your time or your heart on someone who doesn't sound very serious right now about you. Its hard to move on from love and the what ifs with long distance but you deserve someone who cares and wants to include you IN their life.

    All the best :)

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