Guys & girls - Marriage pact, real or not?

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124

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  • Sh1tsRainbows
    Sh1tsRainbows Posts: 1,227 Member
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    Just bang each other. If it's weird, then don't marry him. If it's not, then marry him.

    ^THIS!!!!!!!!!!!
  • leannems
    leannems Posts: 516 Member
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    Need people to bump this through April 7th. I want to know what happens!

    To the OP: You have a level head on you - you will end up doing the right thing here, and I bet either way it goes, you'll be able to keep the friendship (even if you give it a shot and it doesn't work) - just may take some time.
  • MissTattoo
    MissTattoo Posts: 1,203 Member
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    That stuff only happens in movies.
  • Annaflower
    Annaflower Posts: 43
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    Does he know your feelings about marriage? You are right in what you said about not wanting to lead him on if he is serious. He should know that you have no intention of getting married to anyone not just him. If you are enjoying the growing intimacy then be honest with him that it won't lead to marriage. Also if you are keeping open to other potential boyfriends, it would be unfair to give your friend the idea that he has a romantic future with you.

    Good luck
  • NYCDutchess
    NYCDutchess Posts: 622 Member
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    I would not marry someone because "I was still single" Divorce is expensive and you know you'll meet the man of your dreams the day after. Like the movie "the backup plan".

    If you two have chemistry...maybe explore that the person you are looking for is right under your nose.
  • Sassy_Girl
    Sassy_Girl Posts: 19 Member
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    It really don't matter if he thinks there is chemistry or not if you don't feel it. The passion in life is what keeps it exciting, though there are many other things that can keep it stable.
  • stuart959
    stuart959 Posts: 33 Member
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    I've never had a marriage pact however, when I first met my girlfriend to be she was so determined to not get stuck in friend land that she pushed it forward into dating. It look me 3 months to realize we were dating! We are wonderful friends and I'm excited to marry her. I say this because honestly there wasn't a ton of "chemistry" (or physical attraction/lust/whatever) until after we started dating, she was always cute but my attraction deepened over time. No matter what happens I wish you the best of luck and a wonderful marriage partner.
  • newmein2013
    newmein2013 Posts: 674 Member
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    Annaflower:
    Can't really say if he knows how I feel about marriage b/c he knows the me inside. So no matter what my head and mouth say, he knows what my heart says before I even do.

    NYCDutchess:
    Your response made me think of my reason for not dropping full coverage on my car, lol. Murphy's Law!

    Stuart959:
    Thank you. You read between the lines and sensed my pain.

    Everyone else:
    Thank you for your responses. I'll keep you posted with the results of April 7th.
  • penrbrown
    penrbrown Posts: 2,685 Member
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    Dude. I'd go out with him ASAP. You've got a wedding coming next year!!!
  • djkshdfd
    djkshdfd Posts: 443 Member
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    Bump, I am so interested.
  • zoedallas
    zoedallas Posts: 116 Member
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    It sounds like he has a real thing for you. And you? Not so much.

    A few people here have said that you should try it and see how it goes. One word of warning. If it doesn't work out, you will have lost your best friend and there's no going back. Be sure you're willing to risk it all before you jump.
  • dmpizza
    dmpizza Posts: 3,321 Member
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    You don't live in an f'ing sitcom.
    If you love them and want to marry them, ask them.
    If you don't then don't.
  • Hawksbillus
    Hawksbillus Posts: 128 Member
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    My wife and I have been married for almost 17 years and have a similar pact. It goes like this:

    If we make it to our 20th anniversary then we stay together forever.

    If I try to leave her before or after that anniversary she gets to kill me in my sleep.
  • loseweightjames
    loseweightjames Posts: 365
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    Ok, this may sound silly. A very close guy friend and I made a pact several years ago that if we were still single in 10 years that we would marry each other. I completely forgot about it though. A few months ago while we were having dinner, I asked him if he thought I'd ever find someone who could make me really happy. (I've been told I have high standards and that I'm idealistic) He dropped his fork and looked completely surprised. He said, "What do mean? I thought we were getting married!" Since then we've had several conversations about it but neither of us could tell if the other is serious or joking. Now I'm not saying I would go through with this but I am very curious to find out if his reaction meant that he took it that serious. We've never dated or even kissed, just really great friends for years. Well, our 10th anniversary is coming up next summer. Opinions please?

    um. Yeah. Get married. Think about it, he's a guy you've been friends with for TEN years. That's pretty impressive, what other guy are you going to meet that's going to be as compatible with you as he is? Long as the sex is good, I say marry.

    but obviously there's a problem otherwise you wouldn't even be posting this ;)

    I think marriage pacts are great, because if you somehow manage to keep that friendship for XX years and remember the pact then he/she is The One.

    LOVE is BS. Marry your friend. I did. It's great. Do I love her? Ya, but it's more of a friendship than a "OMG UR SOOOOO HOT I WANNA %$*#^*#$@#$$@*!!!!!" We never had that, it was always friends, friends with benefits really, and after 5 years we finally said, ya, let's just get married, it's been this long...... :-D
  • twisted88
    twisted88 Posts: 330 Member
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    Meh. Go for it. It's better than being the crazy cat lady.

    Hey, I resemble that remark! :smile:
  • ShandiH
    ShandiH Posts: 232 Member
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    Meh. Go for it. It's better than being the crazy cat lady.

    Love this! :laugh: :laugh:
  • ElementalMoe
    ElementalMoe Posts: 186 Member
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    I had a pact like this with a high school sweetheart. I thought it was sweet, but when I mentioned it to another male friend he says, "Why would you want to be the last option?" which really rang true to me.

    Why would you want to settle for them simply because you didn't find any one better, and be settled for? If it's not settling, then you should be dating.

    It's the "I don't want to be alone, so you'll do" pact.

    Yep.
  • Musikelektronik
    Musikelektronik Posts: 739 Member
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    Every time he takes me to dinner, I have to reciprocate with a massage, lol.

    Wait...what? Isn't that an indication of whether he feels any chemistry?
  • sunkisses
    sunkisses Posts: 2,365 Member
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    Ew. You would WANT to get married, even if you don't have to?! *shudder* I could not even make such a pact myself.
  • umachanxo
    umachanxo Posts: 926 Member
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    You could try dating him? Perhaps the reason you're curious about it is because you might have feelings for him? He may also have feelings for you that he's never shared before.

    But I definately would not enter a life long commitment with a man that I was not completely in love with. Marriage is forever. Sickness, health, good, bad, ugly. It isn't something you want to just jump into based on a pact made 10 years ago whether he's serious or not. Because the truth of the matter is it's just a silly pact.

    What if you married him and 2 years later met a man that you fell hard for - but you had married this other guy that you didn't love?

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