VERRY embarrassing question!

bitty1taz

Ok, this is SO uncomfortable to bring up, but I don't really have anyone to talk to and I don't want anyone close to me to know.
Say you have been in a long relationship with someone. You love them very much and they say they love you, but they won't have....you know...(whisper) sex...with you?
They say they are not cheating and that it's only all the stress they are under that causes them not to want to.
Now say this person is over all a very nice person and is very helpful to you.
Ok, now here is the kicker.....it's been a year since....you know.
Would you stay? Would you just get it from someone else?
I personally don't believe in cheating, and I have tried to make things work. But...I'm at my wits end. I do love this person and do not want to be without them, but a girls got needs. LOL! Oh, and the self help option is a no brainer...lol!
Ok, now that I've humiliated myself....
My question to you is....what would you do??? Be honest please.

Nopedotjpeg

Talk to him instead of MFP. Also, he could possibly have low testosterone if he has no sexual urges for a year. That is if you're positive he's not cheating on you.

Cindym82

maybe there is other personal reason about the sex, maybe he can't perform or has other issues. Maybe he doesn't want to just have it with anyone. I would definately talk to him about it though and if he can't be open with you than maybe he shouldn't be in your life to begin with

EmCarroll1990

Talk to him, he could very well be telling the truth. And if that's the case, you know the have items to help you relieve yourself by yourself, right?

felice03

I think a very frank and honest discussion is in order. the stress excuse can only go so far. Work out a plan on when things will occur, plan time, find out what you can do to turn him on...if that doesnt work, then personally I would have to seriously consider moving on. Sucky of me to say I know...but that is what I feel.

or option 2- Boink random strangers...

lumina0o0

all of the above...expect go to strangers...

goodfido

Intimacy is a big part of relationships and if he isn't wanting any of that then I would wonder if something else is going on. I understand that stress can be a factor in one's desire but could it be more than that. Is his stress causing him issues in that department and he's too embarressed to go to a doctor to address it?

My advice, I would talk to him about it, you have needs, wants, desires and if you love him and he loves you then these are topics that you should be able to discuss together. Communication is key.

DarthCeltic

I think a very frank and honest discussion is in order. the stress excuse can only go so far. Work out a plan on when things will occur, plan time, find out what you can do to turn him on...if that doesnt work, then personally I would have to seriously consider moving on. Sucky of me to say I know...but that is what I feel.

or option 2- Boink random strangers...

option 2 works well..

echoica

Talk to him instead of MFP. Also, he could possibly have low testosterone if he has no sexual urges for a year. That is if you're positive he's not cheating on you.

this ^^

clydethecat

this is something you should absolutely be talking to him about. don't be embarrassed, sex should be talked about.. and the lack of sex should definitely be talked about.

decide first if this is a deal breaker. if he says, no i don't think sex is important, then you have to decide if you can live that way.

talk to him, drag it all out into the open and discuss it. this is your life, you should be happy...

good luck

grinch031

If I was dating this person, I'd probably leave after having a talk with them and they still don't want to accomodate my needs.

If married, then I'd try harder to work on the issue before giving up. I don't think I'd conciously decide that cheating is the answer, but I can see how cheating can happen when someone is in this situation and doesn't have an easy way out of it.

fiveferrels

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Stranger to boink!!!

CoryIda

I waited 3 1/2 years (until my wedding, and my marriage didn't last, so take this with a grain of salt) to have it - perhaps he has a moral objection to sex before marriage?

Anomalia

Talk to him instead of MFP. Also, he could possibly have low testosterone if he has no sexual urges for a year. That is if you're positive he's not cheating on you.

Yes, I had this issue with my ex. He did not produce enough testosterone and went without any sexual urges without regular injections.

Runningirl7284

Talk to him instead of MFP. Also, he could possibly have low testosterone if he has no sexual urges for a year. That is if you're positive he's not cheating on you.

^^^ THIS!! Make sure he understands how bad you are still attracted to him. Wear something New and Sexy to bed! Spice it up a little it might awaken passion for him that he forgot about! Do not cheat. If it is true how you say you love each other than it can always be worked out. Also I agree that he might be enemic or have low testosterone or some other issue that he is not aware of. It is always good to have blood work done to rule it out. This is VERY COMMON in a lot of guys and I have actually heard this same story from a few friends. I wish you the best of Luck and pray your marrige will overcome this!

0AmyMarie0

I would let him know that this is a need you have and you'd be willing to do whatever you can to help him feel less stressed so you guys can "enjoy" each other. If he's under so much stress that he can't do that, then he has more problems. Personally, I wouldn't be able to stay with someone that couldn't fulfill that need.

LittleMissNerdy

I waited 3 1/2 years (until my wedding, and my marriage didn't last, so take this with a grain of salt) to have it - perhaps he has a moral objection to sex before marriage?

It sounds like they've had sex, but it's been a year since. Doesn't sound like no sex ever in the relationship.

You need to talk to him about it and a serious conversation, not just something in passing.

poustotah

My husband and I haven't had sex in over a year. I've gotten to the point where I don't even want it from him so you have a couple of options. You can wait it out like me until you get to the point that you no longer find him/her attractive and don't want to have sex with him/her or you can talk to them about it.

jcpmoore

If your partner says they didn't cheat, trust them. If you don't trust them, break it off and find someone else. Seriously, if you consider your relationship to be a healthy one, then why are you even discussing this with strangers? There is absolutely nothing weird about a person being too tired or stressed to give a crap about sex for a year. I can say that if you don't trust him, then you might want to reconsider your priorities. Try talking to him straight. Ask him if he has issues with sex before marriage. It's hardly a weird thing to wait until you're married, even if most people don't want to admit it. IF that's not his issue, then find out what it is. Talk with him, not us. There's no other way to a clear answer.

MFPAddict

Bump so I can flirt with you later. :devil:

JoJoDoerr

You should absolutely talk to him. TRUST is #1 in a relationship. Of course we trust our others to be faithful, etc., but also trusting a person to be able to talk to them and be honest with them is part of it too! If you don't feel you can talk to him about it...then your issue may be a little bit deeper than just sex!

Oh...and always trust your gut! A woman's intuition is usually pretty darn close!

Edit for: There are many things that can lower a mans drive...they are human. A lot of stress, a feeling of inadequacy, and some meds (like blood pressure meds or anti-depressants)