"Lost 100lbs & found out what the world thinks of fat ppl"

vtmoon

Excellent post and this is not just a western thing, it's all over the world.

jessiwebb

Such a great read. It reminds me of a tv program I watched several years ago, where a thin/fit woman donned a fat suit for a day and received the onslaught of negative, judgmental and abusive behaviors of society. Thanks for posting the article!

a778c466

Bump

victoriavoodoo

What an odd article to see in the success stories sub forum, which is literally dedicated to telling people how much better they look now.

Or maybe it's the responses that seem odd. We are all here to "better" ourselves, no? Either how we look or our health or both.

I think people should be congratulated and encouraged when they extend their life expectancy possibly by years. This refers more to the responses of people who knew someone before they lost the weight; of course strangers being nicer have no idea and are just seeing a pretty girl/cute guy and don't know any better than to treat them how they treat anyone they find attractive.

If I find myself disgusting how can I blame others for having the same opinion?

mk_hammer

While I appreciate the sentiment of this article and, to a certain extent, agree, I've seen a lot of posters complain about how they are judged everywhere they go for being fat. On the whole, other people are generally preoccupied with themselves and do not pay as much attention to you as you think they do. We assume that people are thinking "God, look at that fat person getting all of that fatty food. What a fat fatty," when really they're just thinking about themselves. And, if they really are being Judgy McJudgersons, f--k 'em. Who needs them anyway?

Love yourselves, and everything else will fall into place.

mazmataz

There is definitely some truth to this. However, I really do believe that everything in life is 90% confidence. There are some people on this thread who have gone from over 300lbs to over 200lbs, and they felt amazing, people treated them differently etc etc. Similarly there are people who have gone from over 200lbs to the mid 100's and the same thing happened. What do they all have in common? They lost some weight and felt amazing about themselves!

When you exude confidence and completely believe that you are sexy, worthy and a great person to be around...people are attracted to THAT!

I lost a little bit of weight a while back (still on the warpath lol) and my first night out with my girlfriends, I felt awesome!! I was still heavier than any of them, yet I managed to get two numbers, several drinks bought for me, served quickly at the bar (after some bar tender flirting ). This experience plus some extra personal development work taught me that there is no substitue for some kick *kitten* self confidence!!

joleenl

Awesome read! Thank you!

CharlotteTheCoffeeLover

Awesome article!!! Thank you so much for posting. This article is very true!! I'm amazed at how diffrently I get treated... Before men would let the door smack me in the face, the other day I had 3 of them run to it to open it for me!! I do think it's unfair the way larger women get treated. I know first hand. I've always been large. I mean large. I weigh right now the same as when I was 11 yrs old.

KodAkuraMacKyen

Interesting read and I agree completely. A lot changed for me since I've lost weight. Some people say it's due soley to the increase in confidence and perceived outward treatment but I firmly believe some of it is to do with the 53lbs I no longer carrry on me and society's view and treatment of overweight people.

tianti82

Great article. Sums it all up.

jezama77

This article applies not only to fat - it applies to everything (in a western society) that falls outside of western ideals.

For example, I used to dress like a boy. That was what I liked to wear, not really for any reason other than that i liked it and could do lots in it and didn't really care about clothes much. Probably the only thing more terrifying than a girl who dresses like a boy is a boy who dresses like a girl...

I am by no means 'ugly', but if I throw my hair in a pony tail I with boy's clothes I could probably be considered plain.

A few years ago I met a nice guy - the first guy I have ever REALLY been drawn to and sexually attracted to. I felt this huge primal urge to emphasise everything 'feminine'. I figured that there was nothing unhealthy about this, so I started growing my hair longer, painting my fingernails, wearing skirts, and just generally transferring a lot of my artistic expression into my appearance.

The world changed completely.

Suddenly, I was pretty. Instead of melting into a background with all the things that don't catch people's eye, I started catching everyone's eyes, mostly men's. They were suddenly much nicer to me, and much more rude at the same time... happy to leer and stare openly, shout out car windows.

My friends, many of whom were feminists, started to judge me very poorly and treat me badly. A whole sub-society that I enjoyed became cut off to me.

...

Unfortunately, a large part of the reality behind fat-hate, mostly against women, is some underlying expectation that all women strive at all times to appear as attractive as possible. If you 'let yourself go,' cut your hair, don't wear heels, don't grow or implant boobs, or don't wear skirts, you will be socially punished. If you do all these things you will be rewarded.

As I am not a man I can't even speculate on what the social punishments are for being fat or ugly (or short?)...I cant only speak about what I experienced and what I observed driving it. It's like I was a bad dog who needed to be ignored, and suddenly I was a good dog who deserved lots of attention.

Fat is one among the many aberrations for which you may be punished. It is the one for which you may be punished most cruelly, though.

Others for women include:
- too muscley (too masculine)/not enough muscle tone
- too much makeup/no makeup
- too much hair
- short hair
- pants/shorts (oh if you don't wear a skirt you won't even believe how much reward skirts get)
- shoulders too big/hips too small
- too aggressive

The perversion is not what men find attractive, so much as the fact that it is applied to EVERY social/work interaction and opportunity.

The downside, of course, is that if you manage to find the right balance between all of these things, suddenly the social reward switches around to punishment - you must be a b*tch and a bimbo and deserve to be treated poorly and sexually harassed and leered at because that's all you're good for.

It's a messy world out there.

I'm glad that you posted this! Lots of problems exist in the world, and it is hard not to judge (or be judged). I have a close friend who is significantly older than me and speaks to me often about the invisibility of older folks. I think it might be similar to that of overweight people. I just work on being kind and friendly to everyone that I come across. Everyone has something to contribute to the world; it is up to each of us to look for it.

notenoughspeed

It's an attractive quality when a person can take care of their body. It shows that you care about yourself. A woman who I was interested in told me this, and didn't strait deny me, but rather told me to continue working on me. Over the course of a year, I went from 310 down to a little over 200. Good enough to catch her eye and have my first date with her.

dogo187

i could have written parts of this story...everything that she said is true...

i know whats its like to be fat, not just fat but so huge that i couldnt fit into the booths at restaurants...

and now i know what its like to be the smaller, in shape girl that men hold the door open for and often try and start conversations with to find out if im single or married....

i will never forget what its like to fall on my *kitten* walking down the stairs at the bank and have no one help me up, but insteady say that its a good thing i have a huge *kitten* to cushion my fall...

i know for a fact that i now have people in my life that wouldnt have been there before if i was still over 300lbs...but that is also partly my fault cause honestly, its not attractive to be overweight and so out of shape that you sweat and pant just walking down the driveway to check the mail....

sarah0709

Great read, it is disgusting what some people think is ok to say to others. Hopefully one day I will get to a point where I'm not the fat one anymore!

lustingforfitness

I really enjoyed this read. I enjoy it not because I agree with the treatment, but because it is such a brutally honest and real account and it is so sad that this is so true. Sometimes I wish I had never been overweight but I definitely think it has given me an entirely different perspective and sensitivity compared to if I had always been thin. I never want to lose that.

Adah_m

This is exactly the inspiration I needed this week.

The post at first was sad and made me angry, and then I realized that where I used to berate myself for getting so overweight before, now I actually see the benefit to living overweight and then going through the hard work of losing it. You become a stronger person, you can see outside of the hurtful bubble of judgement everyone else lives in, and you know how to be compassionate and kind.
I know there is a purpose in the pain each and every one of us overweight people go through. I know that our suffering makes us better people and it's not in vain.
We should look at ourselves as better and stronger than people who've always been skinny because we went through a lot of hardship, we appreciate it, and we have wider understandings of human nature and addiction, suffering, and hard work. Yay us.

Joanne_Moniz

great topic!! I found this to be true when I started showing muscles.... so true!! I found that I was treated more respectfully... has its' disadvantages too, though

MyProgressISYour1Proof

Yep. I'm definitely treated differently now with the weight gone...

Seaglass1123

Great read! Thanks for sharing! :flowerforyou:

kniknaack

What a wonderful read and a great reminder to always remember where we came from and the struggle we endured to better ourselves.