Un supportive husband anyone??

Emagali74

I think part of it is that even though ultimately, they want us to be healthier and thinner, they don’t want to have to sacrifice as we do it. Especially when you do the shopping and cooking plus now disappear to exercise…that puts less attention on them and maybe more responsibility. Never met a man who took that well. Just ignore him.

Absolutely amen to that.....

I have major major problems with my other half.... if anyone on this thread wants to add me feel free, as lots of other posters have said, we are doing this for ourselves and ultimately we need to carry on until WE are happy, regardless of whether your other half is supporting you or not. You know you are doing the right thing. Dont let the negativity get you down.... keep strong

xxxx

ArroganceInStep

Having support helps, but at the end of the day if you let someone else get in the way of your health and fitness goals...well...you've let someone get in the way of your health and fitness goals. It's your body and your life.

I'm very fortunate to have a fiancee who is supportive of my efforts, but even if she wasn't I'd still be doing what I'm doing now.

billsica

Yup, I am.

sissypunks

he also needs to lose he is over 300 with high blood pressure and diabetic (and smokes and rubs
YUCK!) and our 2 oldest weigh more than i did when we got married they r 11 so im trying to incorperate them in as well as my two younger kids 2 and 4 i think they r starting to understand my take on things and know daddy needs to do something but refuses so they r starting to back me up and help with my motovation also they are asking to take more walks and things and im not getting "You're callin me fat " every time i say anything about eating less! they have even lost a pound or two !

krystle_swope

Men will never understand! lol. I hit my breaking point when I coudn't fit into any of my swim suits and cried for days and he just couldn't understand that I had to feel good about myself even though he loved me the way I was. Sometimes it's a losing battle! But just keep focus on making sure YOU feel good about yourself!

butterflyliz32

Not currently. My husband is a big guy, but is also actively trying to lose weight. He has lost 23 lbs since the beginning of the year, and let me tell you I am jealous as hell!! BUT, I am also extremely proud of him and all his hard work and will do whatever I can to support him. He tells me every day how beautiful I am, and how much he loves me, regardless, but also knows it would make me very happy to lose the weight, be able to conceive, and just generally be in better health.

That said, my EX-husband was huge and terribly unsupportive of my weight loss attempts. He just didn't want me to change (and leave him in the dust). But, he was generally unsupportive in all aspects of life, and that is a huge part of the reason he is an ex-husband. That and his general douchebaggery.

I say just keep going with what you know is right. He will either accept it, or he won't. There isn't anything you can do to change is behavior or attitude.

SoDamnHungry

My boyfriend used to be such a jerk about it. If I was cutting calories, he'd tell me it was stupid and that I should work out to lose the weight. Any time I mentioned it, he told me how wrong I was. Mind you, I was working out, and he just thought I should be burning 500-700 calories every single day at the gym and eating whatever I want. That's just not a realistic routine for me.

He's stopped being a jerk about it lately. I don't know why.

padraigin67

Mine eats whatever he wants. It is not a problem for me because #1: I know that he is not doing it to undermine me, he just wants to eat it. #2: I have so many food allergies, it would not be fair to ask him to eat what I can. It was hard at first but I learned that I control what I put in my mouth. It is me that has to look at myself in the mirror and be happy. Mine has always told me he loves me for myself. He also has let me know that he has concerns for my health. Thus the weight loss and healthier, leaner, food choices. I am the master of my destiny and I control my food. Good luck!!!!!:flowerforyou:

annetterene

I have a very supportive husband who always tells me I am beautiful & didn't need to lose weight until it affected my health. Now he is very encouraging. The worse problem with those "few" extra (although in my case many, many extra) pounds is how quickly it can affect your health. Looking good is important, but the worst side affect of being overweight is quite frankly death. Sorry to sound over-dramatic, but that is where I was headed. Explaining the medical necessity of healthier choices some times helps.

maddyg1989

My husband was really unsupportive for months when we first got married. I had gained a lot of weight after the wedding (almost 40lbs). It wasn't until about two weeks ago that he finally turned around. I wish I could tell you how but I'm still not sure. But I spent a lot of money on the Advocare 24 day challenge program to jumpstart my weightloss and discipline myself with motivation and so far, he's been really supportive. My guess is, he doesn't want the money to go to waste and the fact that I was THAT determined made him realize that it's very important to me. He turned down my mother's CAKE the other day. No one says no to her or her awesome cakes.

I wish I could give you some better advice. Good luck with your hubby.

nataliefamily3

Ok update... I sat down with hubby, showed him this thread and.told him that I was going to do this no matter even if he stood in my way. I told him how I feel about my body and that I want to love my body again....and much to my surprise he felt horrible for making me feel this way and told me to go for it!!! i feel.much better getting it out there. Thank you soooi much everyone for your advice and support.

fbmandy55

I think another HUGE factor of men being unsupportive is fear. I honestly think many of them think that their wives/gf's will get so attractive they will want to look for someone new and more "their pace".

FungusTrooper

Speaking AS a husband, it's really hard for us (or me, anyway) to not love my wife the way she is.

We're both obese, and both on this site working on our weight. However, I'm a lot harder on myself than I am on her - if she snacks, etc, I won't, uh.. support it, per sé, but I won't slap the cookies out of her hand, either. But if it was me, I would.. well, I wouldn't slap the cookie out of my hand, either, because that would be really weird. But I wouldn't pick up the cookie in the first place.

So I dunno how supportive I am, really. I don't enable, or I try not to, but at the same time I won't come down too hard on her if she enables herself.

I'm not scared she'll get too fit and move on to someone else - we both love each other, and loved each other when we were at our heaviest. I'm also not scared that she'll think I find her unattractive if I DO come down hard on her for snacking, nor that I'm only attracted to her weight and we won't love each other as much when we lose weight.

I just really love my wife, whether she loses weight or not. That's not to say it's not important to me, too. I want us both to live to see our grandkids grow up, etc.

Eh, love and weight loss is a complicated situation.

original_cake_face

My husband varies between two extremes:

Extreme 1, where he goes on walks/runs with me, and when I'm about to collapse goes "Come on, baby! Let's do another lap! Let's walk over there! That place looks fun! Let's check that out! Are you tired? One more lap! Almost done! Nah, I was kidding.. ONE MORE!" All with a big fat smile on his face. I think he's torturing me.

Extreme 2, where he says things like: "Y'know what sounds great? Fried chicken and mashed potatos with gravy." (my weakness) and then proceeds to cook something ridiculous that probably contains butter. And then he eats it in front of me. And offers me half.

We've had a few talks about my weight loss and his part in it.. And what I've discovered is this: He's not TRYING to be unsupportive. It's just that we've been unhealthy together for a very long time, and he's not used to me turning down a second helping, or driving past fast food places to eat salad at home. It takes time, but he's getting better. I just gently remind him every time he says something off.

onewithwings

I "had" an unsupportive husband...he's gone! I'm happy and a new me. Inside and out!!!

Now that I'm single I stay far away from possessive and controlling men. I associate ONLY with men who are proud to have me in their life....'nuff said! :-)