Would this make you angry?

LinzCurlyQ
LinzCurlyQ Posts: 94 Member
in Motivation and Support
I was telling my mother about these fabulous yet horribly bad for you brownie things that a co-worker brought in, and I broke down and had two of them. I told her how good they were, but that I shouldn't have eaten them. Her response was this:

A little goodness once in a while doesn’t hurt you…………..I worry about you sometimes, please don’t get so obsessed with your weight and working out that you don’t keep a balance. I love you………..mom

Now I work out 4-6 times a week and do not keep a strict diet. Why does this make me angry??
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Replies

  • megimoops
    megimoops Posts: 22 Member
    what a lovely mum

    give her a hug
  • original_cake_face
    original_cake_face Posts: 131 Member
    what a lovely mum

    give her a hug

    ^This.

    She's looking out for you, and worrying about you. And she's right.. Don't stress because you ate some brownies.
  • astrampe
    astrampe Posts: 2,169 Member
    No idea hy you would get angry about that.... You have a lovely mum with a balanced outlook on life...eating two brownies when otherwise living a healthy lifestyle is really not wrong....
  • TheDoctorDana
    TheDoctorDana Posts: 595 Member
    She's right?
  • ashhhhole
    ashhhhole Posts: 60 Member
    If i had to guess I would say it maes you angry because you wanted someone to hold you accountable for eating something "bad." But your mom is right, its ok to have treats once in a while.. Having one or two brownies isn't going to do much. Having one or two brownies twice a day every day will... So next time enjoy your treat, and give your mom a hug. =]
  • Cindygutie
    Cindygutie Posts: 50 Member
    Well, its just a mom thing to say. Take a deep breath and let it go. My mom tells me im too skinny all the time, and it makes me not want to keep at it, but i still have at least 10 pounds to go. So good luck. Try not to let it get to you.
  • drmryder
    drmryder Posts: 181 Member
    I think our moms just want us to be happy. Our 'obsession' with staying in shape and being at a healthy weight may not be understandable to them. My mom thinks that as you get older it's okay and expected to gain weight. I think her theory was 5 pounds for every 10 years or something like that. I told my mom that I don't agree with her that keeping those extra pounds off is much better for my health. Of course my mom is overweight and has diabetes and knee problems that I'm certain are related to her extra weight. I think what makes me angrier is the fact that she doesn't watch what she eats and does little to no exercise.
  • GoldspursX3
    GoldspursX3 Posts: 516 Member
    I agree with the above posts about her being a good mom. My mom can be very overbearing sometimes but I know it is only out of love for me. Brush it off and don't let the petty *kitten* bother you so much. Life is too short.
  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
    I don't know why this makes you mad, unless you think that she's always been an enabler and you secretly (or openly) blame her influence for your struggles.

    There is a balance, you must find yours. There are things that if I say "I can't ever again have x,y,z" I know I will never be successful. So, I say "I can have wine and chocolate, as long as I log it, and it fits in my diet after coming in pretty close on my protein macro." Otherwise I know I will binge on wine and sweets. Now I'm going to have a matled milk ball . . .
  • Bunnybeesweet
    Bunnybeesweet Posts: 165 Member
    Ask yourself what you wanted or expected her to say. Consider how she could BE that would be most supportive and loving for your journey....and then, without making her wrong (because what she said is her way of loving you) make a powerful request for how she could react in the future that will best serve you (both)

    Ps. If YOU think you shouldn't have eaten them, than listen to your own wisdom. You can be a mother's voice to yourself!
  • LinzCurlyQ
    LinzCurlyQ Posts: 94 Member
    The part about eating a little goodness is ok isn't what pokes at me. I used to be unbalanced in my diet eating way too many "brownies". The part that makes me angry is that she thinks I'm obsessive because I go to the gym 4 or 5 times a week. I'm not a strict dieter. You can look at my diary and tell that. Hell, I couldn't even fill out my diary this weekend because of the mess I ate.

    I just don't understand when you do something that is different than what you used to do people think you are obsessive.
  • lind3400
    lind3400 Posts: 557 Member
    My mom told me the same thing
    actually she told me to stop worrying so much and stop dieting cuz I look great and guys like a girl with curves
    I told her I was 5'3" and 174 lbs I was clinically obese and not happy with the way I look or feel
    and she won't listen cuz she's accepted the fact that she's chubby....and thinks we all should
  • helpmelose2011
    helpmelose2011 Posts: 125 Member
    Possibly b/c your not getting the support from her that you want. My mother does the same thing to me and pisses me off so what do I do.. I work out harder!
  • mkwongh
    mkwongh Posts: 279 Member
    My mom would say the same thing...
    dont let it get to you, she is just trying to show how much she cares about your well being.
  • supertracylynn
    supertracylynn Posts: 1,338 Member
    It has made me upset when my mom has said something similar, but I had to take it with a grain of salt.
    She loves you, wants the best for you.

    It made me (probably you too) because it felt like she was disapproving of my healthy lifestyle and felt undercurrents of sabotage. Of course, I'm still a little kid deep down and want Mommy's approval. Heck, my momma wants to meet this wonderful man I've been talking about so glowingly.
  • ekz13
    ekz13 Posts: 725 Member
    don't overthink it... she's your mom.. she cares enough to say something.
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
    Why would this make you angry? Obsession always start from low ends. You think the Anorexics got to that point in a few days? She's looking out for you and if anything, she's doing it in the best possible way. Have you read what some of the other family members say to people trying to live healthy here?

    I'd call her up and give her updates on the days you're not working out (AKA rest days) so she realizes that you're not just working out but living a healthy lifestyle full of days off and on. Our elders worry about us and no need to be angry about it :)
  • chaniray
    chaniray Posts: 83 Member
    she sounds like a caring mom. that would not make me angry.
  • LinzCurlyQ
    LinzCurlyQ Posts: 94 Member
    My mom told me the same thing
    actually she told me to stop worrying so much and stop dieting cuz I look great and guys like a girl with curves
    I told her I was 5'3" and 174 lbs I was clinically obese and not happy with the way I look or feel
    and she won't listen cuz she's accepted the fact that she's chubby....and thinks we all should

    Oh! You know exactly how I feel. Our mothers sound like two peas in a pod. I'm not losing weight the way she is doing (WW), so I'm obsessive.
  • Qarol
    Qarol Posts: 6,171 Member
    I don't think I know enough about you or your mom to take sides here.
  • Hellbent_Heidi
    Hellbent_Heidi Posts: 3,669 Member
    I just don't understand when you do something that is different than what you used to do people think you are obsessive.
    So true...I've had friends imply "obsession" when I was in the hard-core mode of getting to my goal weight and it was SUPER annoying, so I know where you're coming from.

    That being said, I'm sure your mom meant well...I'd say shake it off and let it go (Mom's say dumb things a lot - and as they get older, it doesn't get better!!).
  • original_cake_face
    original_cake_face Posts: 131 Member
    Ugh.. My mum died some months ago and I really should avoid these threads... However.. she's just looking out for you, honestly. She sees your change in habits, and worries that you'll increase the exercise even more. She's not shoving food in your face or telling you it's all pointless, is she? She's your mum.. She worries. That's what they do.
  • SLaw4215
    SLaw4215 Posts: 596 Member
    I AM TOTALLY JUST GUESSING AT THIS

    Is your mom heavy? Do you look like her (SIZE WISE)? Maybe you feel unsupported because your mom taught you how to feed yourself (your habits are probably her habits) and instead of encouraging you to lose weight she is keeping you where you've always been?
  • downsizinghoss
    downsizinghoss Posts: 1,035 Member
    I don't know about you, but since I started on mfp most of my friends and family probably think I have become slightly obsessive.

    I don't think we realize how often we talk about exercise and diet related stuff in our normal conversation.

    It is especially true around people we have known for a long time, when we didn't used to talk about this kind of stuff so much.
  • vim_n_vigor
    vim_n_vigor Posts: 4,089 Member
    The part about eating a little goodness is ok isn't what pokes at me. I used to be unbalanced in my diet eating way too many "brownies". The part that makes me angry is that she thinks I'm obsessive because I go to the gym 4 or 5 times a week. I'm not a strict dieter. You can look at my diary and tell that. Hell, I couldn't even fill out my diary this weekend because of the mess I ate.

    I just don't understand when you do something that is different than what you used to do people think you are obsessive.

    It didn't sound like she said you were being obsessive, just warning that if you are worried about how bad two brownies are in an otherwise balanced diet, that you could get there. It is a fair warning, and one that many of us should probably listen to.
  • Dave198lbs
    Dave198lbs Posts: 8,810 Member
    The part about eating a little goodness is ok isn't what pokes at me. I used to be unbalanced in my diet eating way too many "brownies". The part that makes me angry is that she thinks I'm obsessive because I go to the gym 4 or 5 times a week. I'm not a strict dieter. You can look at my diary and tell that. Hell, I couldn't even fill out my diary this weekend because of the mess I ate.

    I just don't understand when you do something that is different than what you used to do people think you are obsessive.

    well look at yourself...getting all obsessed about what seems a nice comment from someone who cares about you....chill OUT!!!
  • Nicoleo1
    Nicoleo1 Posts: 159 Member
    Some of us WISH our moms would be so supportive. Trade 'ya.
  • TinkrBelz
    TinkrBelz Posts: 866 Member
    I think that you were upset because you wanted her to understand. And she did, but then she just stated her concern. As a mom, we worry about our kids.

    So, I would just say thank you mom...don't worry, I will be good and cheat once in a while. If she thinks that you are not obsessing over what you eat or losing weight, she will be happy.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
    My mom told me the same thing
    actually she told me to stop worrying so much and stop dieting cuz I look great and guys like a girl with curves
    I told her I was 5'3" and 174 lbs I was clinically obese and not happy with the way I look or feel
    and she won't listen cuz she's accepted the fact that she's chubby....and thinks we all should

    Oh! You know exactly how I feel. Our mothers sound like two peas in a pod. I'm not losing weight the way she is doing (WW), so I'm obsessive.

    She's not disparaging you anymore than you are her, seemingly :wink:
  • ShaSimone
    ShaSimone Posts: 270 Member
    No this would not make me angry. I think someone saying to me 'should you be having that?' makes me more angry. Just my personal hot button.

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