Annoyed at unsolicited advice?
spynoodle
Posts: 404
Do you get annoyed when people offer unsolicited weight loss advice? Especially when they are are in worse shape than you? I don't like the judgmental tone it sometimes comes with.
I admit, I do a little. I just smile and bite my tongue.
I admit, I do a little. I just smile and bite my tongue.
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I soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo agree, everyone seems to have the "secret" to weightloss even overweight people...
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It's terrible between people on here or people in the real world it gets a bit to much. Funny I actually had someone tell me "if you don't know your BMR or TDEE you will never lose weight." Which I replied with "umm I lost 60 lbs before I had evenheard of MFP. um never knew my BMR , TDEE I don't use a HRM." Honestly all this math to lose weight is a tad much as well. I'm not saying it doesn't help some people but I lost weight and I'm keeping it off without having to do secret handshake and pulling out a calculator. Then you have people saying "out are eating to little, you are to much, you eat to many carbs, you don't eat enough carbs, you need more protein, you work out to little, you work out to much" It's really insane. I got some unsolictiated advice years and years ago from a woman who was at least 100 lbs overweight.... Really? come on.... So what I learned is it's nobodies business what I eat or don't eat and it's not my business what they do either. It's a personal voyage. Now if people ask me for advice I will proved it but I don't expect them to follow it , and if I want some advice I ask for it fully knowing they my say something I don't agree with. But people if we don't ask for it don't give to us and if you do keep your judgementalness to yourselfDo you get annoyed when people offer unsolicited weight loss advice? Especially when they are are in worse shape than you? I don't like the judgmental tone it sometimes comes with.
I admit, I do a little. I just smile and bite my tongue.0 -
I got a "You need to eat better." from a non-MFP friend who has NO idea what I'm eating. Even if it's true that I eat like cr@p, he wouldn't know it!0
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lol that's just sad. I love my friends and if they offer advice it's because they are trying to be caring but then there some people who just know it all. ...I got a "You need to eat better." from a non-MFP friend who has NO idea what I'm eating. Even if it's true that I eat like cr@p, he wouldn't know it!0
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This is why I never mention anything fitness related.... and then I never hear about it.
Then again, I also bite my tongue and dont say anything, even when someone I know is doing something "wrong" or "incorrect".... I dont know if thats always a good thing either.
For example, I know damn well you cant out exercise a bad diet... but its hard to tell that to someone, especially when they are killing themselves in dance, gym, exercise outside of that, etc... because all they hear is "you did all that work for nothing"0 -
annoying indeed0
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Do you get annoyed when people offer unsolicited weight loss advice? Especially when they are are in worse shape than you? I don't like the judgmental tone it sometimes comes with.
I admit, I do a little. I just smile and bite my tongue.
Have you thought that maybe they are trying to be helpful because they care about your well being? Nah, that would be crazy.0 -
That's one of the reasons I never tell anyone that I'm trying to lose weight (I'm just training for a race
) and when someone volunteers some fitness tidbit (unless it's someone who I know is competent to offer advice) I can usually finish the conversation politely by asking their opinion of the how much the coefficient of rolling resistance varies between bike tire x and y, or how best to achieve early vertical forearm for swimming - the blank looks are priceless. 0 -
Do you get annoyed when people offer unsolicited weight loss advice? Especially when they are are in worse shape than you? I don't like the judgmental tone it sometimes comes with.
I admit, I do a little. I just smile and bite my tongue.
by reading this title i thought i had let my alter ego who is a horn dog have control of my profile.. whew.. close one..0 -
That reminds me....you know you really need to boost your protein intake, and I noticed you're not drinking enough, and you're doing those exercises all the wrong way with bad form, and if you would just drink more wine you would lose weight, and.......
People can be so funny....I generally say something like, "well that's an interesting approach, but here's what my doctor said that's helping me to lose really well..."0 -
Do you get annoyed when people offer unsolicited weight loss advice? Especially when they are are in worse shape than you? I don't like the judgmental tone it sometimes comes with.
I admit, I do a little. I just smile and bite my tongue.
Yes cause as we all know their physique is totally indicative of their knowledge of the subject0 -
Do you get annoyed when people offer unsolicited weight loss advice? Especially when they are are in worse shape than you? I don't like the judgmental tone it sometimes comes with.
I admit, I do a little. I just smile and bite my tongue.
Yes, but I try not to take it personally. In this day and age, it seems impossible to avoid 'health' topics in everyday life.
My goal is to be healthy and to LIVE WELL, and I know that when people hear me talk about running they are wondering why I am not one of those stringy runners with no extra body fat. So I am pretty selective about when and with whom I discuss the running. I am sort of a closet runner, for this reason.
Finally, the 'You need to eat better' is usually that person speaking out loud about themself!0 -
I don't let others control me that much. If people want to run their mouths all day to hear themselves think, then more power to them. I just say, "thanks, I'll keep that in mind" and go about my badassery.
Also, fat people can be pretty frucking smart about fitness, so that whole 'being judgmental' thing is kinda d!ckish.0 -
Yes, but I just tell them what I am doing is working for me and I'm happy with the progress. But then again, I realize I've given other people unsolicited advice too... although that's usually just Get MFP!0
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Well i'll chime in as the morbidly obese person that does give advice sometimes (though not unsolicited, that is my pet peeve to!). I do have to comment on the posts mentioning being particularly annoyed when it's from an overweight person. While i get the point, i think that just because one doesn't do something, or hasn't conquered their own personal demons, doesn't mean they don't have information that is valuable and valid. Overweight people are often experts in the fact that they've read every book out there, been on a zillion diets and have lots of experience LOL, including how to lose and gain back!
Anyone that is trying to tell someone that they "must" be or do something is an idiot because no one is in another person's shoes. All we can do is share info that we learn, things that do and don't work for us,what we've witnessed with others and leave it at that. I try to temper any suggestions i may have with a "take my advice i'm not using it" disclaimer since i haven't tackled all my demons LOL.
I also have to say that i've had fellow overweight people try to tell me what i "must" do or not do, and super fit people tell me...and when it's unsolicited, i think both are annoying. While i can definately see that a fit person is doing something "right", it still might only be "right for them"....Either way, i hate it.0 -
Do you get annoyed when people offer unsolicited weight loss advice? Especially when they are are in worse shape than you? I don't like the judgmental tone it sometimes comes with.
I admit, I do a little. I just smile and bite my tongue.
Yes cause as we all know their physique is totally indicative of their knowledge of the subject
AMEN! The other thing that kills me is when people actually stop you and ask your opinion on nutrition and weight loss and they disagree with everything you say.0 -
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I find the exact opposite.... People always come to me for weight loss advice and ask what I think of "Fad Diet XYZ" and I always reply with "You have to find out what works for you. For me, it was finding a sport that I love to participate in and eating a healthier diet. If you think Fad diet XYZ will work for the rest of your life, then great! I think you should try it!"
I don't know what to say to them other than that? I know that telling them to try a fad diet is wrong, but people are going to do what they want to do anyway.
Another thing. I'd unfriend any MFP advice givers that don't mesh with your beliefs. Everyone is different and it takes different ways to motivate people. Some people LIKE advice givers (I am like that. I LIKE the unsolicited advice) and some people do not. Just because you friended someone on here doesn't mean you have to stay friends.0 -
It gets on my everlasting last nerve. Especially when they are losing the unhealthy way (not eating)0
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Anyone tries to advise me without me asking them I ignore them.
I felt like interjecting today when someoen was proclaiming they were aiming to only have 800 calories. I resisted and isntead thought 'oh dear'.0 -
Since I've been more open minded about nutrition, I've learned far more in the last year by listening and research. When people talk to me about fitness and nutrition, they don't like some of the things I say because it doesn't usually coincide with typical information you would normally hear. I just smile and go about my business.0
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I get annoyed at unsolicited advice, period. If I want your advice, I'll ask.Do you get annoyed when people offer unsolicited weight loss advice?0 -
As a nutrition coach, I still try to keep my comments for myself.
Sometimes it's hard, especially when I hear stuff like:
"Eggs are bad for your cholesterol... throw away the yolk!"
or "saturated fats are bad for you"
People perpetuating these myths don't know any better and don't have any bad intentions, but I sometimes feel compelled to educate them on stuff that can help them become healthier.0 -
Do you get annoyed when people offer unsolicited weight loss advice? Especially when they are are in worse shape than you? I don't like the judgmental tone it sometimes comes with.
I admit, I do a little. I just smile and bite my tongue.
One day I'm going to tell some overweight person that I'm so happy their advice has worked so well for them.
I have a sibling who has not had great success with her weight loss struggle, yet she keeps telling me about such-and-such diet (some of them are fine diets). I keep telling her that I never stick to diets -- I can't stand the hassle of educating myself about the diet, buying the special foods, making the diet recipes -- and that I prefer my way, which, while not perfect, has been reasonably successful.
Another thing that gets me: People who have lost any idea of what normal weight individuals look like. Not every 100- or even 90-pound person is anorexic. Jesus!0 -
This^
I get annoyed at unsolicited advice, period. If I want your advice, I'll ask.Do you get annoyed when people offer unsolicited weight loss advice?
I try not to ignore any advice I do get though. Even if it's unsolicited, I don't want to assume it's not useful.0 -
Most of the time I do not. For one thing I work with quite a few out of shape nurses and doctors and value their input. I don't know why they don't follow their own advice, but sometimes the advice is good. Plus, I know what the science says and I know what works for me and I don't mind discussing it. Actually I kind of like discussing it.0
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I guess every situation is different, and when you don't want the advice and you hear it all the time it can get a tad bit annoying! I'd take it with a grain of salt, so to say. I'm also sure that I have been guilty of it myself. I do think that judging a persons advice on apperance alone isn't accurate, a common mistake we make is thinking that a unhealthy person has always been unhealthy. I have a friend who is now over weight after giving birth and gaining newlywed pounds, but before that she was the poster of healthy! She knows what to do, teaches fitness classes but life got in the way...I love hearing her advice because she was once where I want to be!
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I'll admit, since I've been pretty successful you could say I have a chip on my shoulder. When someone gives me advice I'm not looking for I often ignore them. If I did this well without their help I'm confident I can continue being successful without it.
Now there have been many times I have needed advice, and I've found it here on MFP. If you wade through enough nonsense you can really find all the sound advice you would ever need right here.
So if I'm looking for help I will seek it out and it's very much appreciated. If a guy at the gym wants to give me some tips on form I gladly take it.
If someone 100lbs heavier than me is telling me I shouldn't be eating after 6pm well.... I guess it's not so much unsolicited advice that bothers me, just BAD advice.0 -
Do you get annoyed when people offer unsolicited weight loss advice? Especially when they are are in worse shape than you? I don't like the judgmental tone it sometimes comes with.
I admit, I do a little. I just smile and bite my tongue.
Yes cause as we all know their physique is totally indicative of their knowledge of the subject
First, you (I'm using the impersonal "you") should not be giving unsolicited advice.
Second, yes, I am allowed to judge your credibility based on your weight. Weight loss has a huge behavioral component. So if you haven't figured out how to apply all your supposed knowledge to yourself, why should I listen to you?0 -
What? I don't understand...are you talking to me? Let me get some Q-tip, a Megaphone.....
Personally, it depends on the who the people are. If they are on your FL and you have asked for help in the past, then I could see it happening. It's an extension of compassion.If they are not...then they need to put their backpacks, 30's dress garb, and namebadge back on, grab their bikes, and STFU0
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