Annoyed at unsolicited advice?
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bump0
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I give unsolicited advice to me real life friends all the time. I'm sure it annoys them but I get really annoyed at the stupid things some of them do. I also get annoyed with their whining so I just tell them what works for me. For example, here is a conversation the other night:
Friend: Ooooh did your hear about the new cellulite stuff on the radio? They said it really works!
Me: You know what else works? Exercise and weights.
Friend: *slight eye roll
Friend: Oh I can't eat that, I'm doing the South Beach diet
Me: Bummer. It's taken me a couple of years but I've lost all my weight and still ate whatever I wanted.
Friend: Well, I have vacation coming up so I have to lose this quick
Me: *slight eye roll
I don't really care if I annoy people.0 -
yes, i felt like i was doing fine, until all i begin hearing that i need to lift more weights and less reps, and then someone else tells me less weight with more reps or i will bulk up.... and that the leaner i am the more calories i will burn, when others tell me that you burn more calories when you are are larger and have more to lose. and that i need to eat all my exercise calories, or not to eat any, or to only eat half. it makes me want to stop participating in these boards honestly.0
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I agree with 99% of this...
I got it alot until I lost about 70 lbs and started surpassing most of the people that were giving me the unsolicited advice...
I think they realized how dumb they sound when they weigh more than me and giving me advice.
Now I get the arguments after they ask me for advice.
I just tell them what I am doing and they claim I am lying or its unhealthy and I am going to be skinny fat and all the blah blah blah blah blah blah.... Usually I tune out and think about what I am going to do on my next work out while they are going on and on about the advice that is not working for me and how terrible it is.0 -
yes, i felt like i was doing fine, until all i begin hearing that i need to lift more weights and less reps, and then someone else tells me less weight with more reps or i will bulk up.... and that the leaner i am the more calories i will burn, when others tell me that you burn more calories when you are are larger and have more to lose. and that i need to eat all my exercise calories, or not to eat any, or to only eat half. it makes me want to stop participating in these boards honestly.
you obviously need to eat more bananas. start with three a day then add one.0 -
Do you get annoyed when people offer unsolicited weight loss advice? Especially when they are are in worse shape than you? I don't like the judgmental tone it sometimes comes with.
I admit, I do a little. I just smile and bite my tongue.
One day I'm going to tell some overweight person that I'm so happy their advice has worked so well for them.
I have a sibling who has not had great success with her weight loss struggle, yet she keeps telling me about such-and-such diet (some of them are fine diets). I keep telling her that I never stick to diets -- I can't stand the hassle of educating myself about the diet, buying the special foods, making the diet recipes -- and that I prefer my way, which, while not perfect, has been reasonably successful.
Another thing that gets me: People who have lost any idea of what normal weight individuals look like. Not every 100- or even 90-pound person is anorexic. Jesus!
^^^agree^^^
And some of those same people that call me anorexic then decide, nope definitely bulimic, when they see me eat! And then they want to tell me I eat too much/poorly. You know, I've been in the same size zeros since high school, so it seems to be working for me. Why don't you worry about your own intake rather than criticize my choice to make the most of the all you eat prime rib? (sorry, I think we hit a sore spot)
I don't have any kind of eating disorder, nor do I think they are funny, and despise how people throw those terms around so nonchalantly.0 -
yes, i felt like i was doing fine, until all i begin hearing that i need to lift more weights and less reps, and then someone else tells me less weight with more reps or i will bulk up.... and that the leaner i am the more calories i will burn, when others tell me that you burn more calories when you are are larger and have more to lose. and that i need to eat all my exercise calories, or not to eat any, or to only eat half. it makes me want to stop participating in these boards honestly.
you obviously need to eat more bananas. start with three a day then add one.
and then, when you are finally eating enough of them.
when you poo
and look at it.
you can sing.
this S**t is bananas.. b-a-n-a-n-a-s.0 -
I don't let others control me that much. If people want to run their mouths all day to hear themselves think, then more power to them. I just say, "thanks, I'll keep that in mind" and go about my badassery.
Also, fat people can be pretty frucking smart about fitness, so that whole 'being judgmental' thing is kinda d!ckish.
^^^ yep.
Also if someone cares enough about me to give me info or try to 'help'; I take it as a compliment even if I don't agree with them. So no- it doesn't bother me.0 -
I'm amazed at how little unsolicited advice I've received since I started losing weight a year ago...
Now I get asked for advice often...it's weird...lol...0 -
Yup and unless I ask then I dont want to know. I have people trying to sell me diets and then later sell me a different diet (what happened to the first one :huh: ). Or some ask how long it took for a person to lose their weight, like its a race because some diets offer faster weight loss then just watching what you eat and exercising. I dont put their method down so why do some think they have to put mine down? I know, we all are human and its in our nature...ugh!0
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I'm amazed at how little unsolicited advice I've received since I started losing weight a year ago...
Now I get asked for advice often...it's weird...lol...
how many bananas should the OP eat every day?0 -
Well i'll chime in as the morbidly obese person that does give advice sometimes (though not unsolicited, that is my pet peeve to!). I do have to comment on the posts mentioning being particularly annoyed when it's from an overweight person. While i get the point, i think that just because one doesn't do something, or hasn't conquered their own personal demons, doesn't mean they don't have information that is valuable and valid. Overweight people are often experts in the fact that they've read every book out there, been on a zillion diets and have lots of experience LOL, including how to lose and gain back!
Anyone that is trying to tell someone that they "must" be or do something is an idiot because no one is in another person's shoes. All we can do is share info that we learn, things that do and don't work for us,what we've witnessed with others and leave it at that. I try to temper any suggestions i may have with a "take my advice i'm not using it" disclaimer since i haven't tackled all my demons LOL.
I also have to say that i've had fellow overweight people try to tell me what i "must" do or not do, and super fit people tell me...and when it's unsolicited, i think both are annoying. While i can definately see that a fit person is doing something "right", it still might only be "right for them"....Either way, i hate it.
AMEN HUNNE!!!!!!!!
Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Nutrition Facts For Foods0 -
I remember one time at work, platters of leftover food from a meeting came into the office. I picked up a spring roll and somebody piped up and said "You've already had lunch, you shouldn't be eating that!" - and this is from a person who is heavier than me. She also says things like (boasting) - "I can CONTROL my food intake, it's all about control". I was thinking "Oh really. Control huh. Well, if you're so controlled with the food, why are you so overweight? Did the lettuce in your salad make you fat?" um...I DON'T THINK SO!
Yes I loathe this sort of advice.
yep, this one bothers me... i get frequent comments on what i eat from people that are older/heavier than me. yes, i realize that i eat a lot and frequently, and that someday my stellar metabolism might not be able to keep up with it, but that day isn't today, and ima gonna eat that spring roll (or whatevers).0 -
As a nutrition coach, I still try to keep my comments for myself.
Sometimes it's hard, especially when I hear stuff like:
"Eggs are bad for your cholesterol... throw away the yolk!"
or "saturated fats are bad for you"
People perpetuating these myths don't know any better and don't have any bad intentions, but I sometimes feel compelled to educate them on stuff that can help them become healthier.
The stuff regarding eggs drives me nuts! If they knew exactly what they were throwing away, they would be horrified.0 -
As a nutrition coach, I still try to keep my comments for myself.
Sometimes it's hard, especially when I hear stuff like:
"Eggs are bad for your cholesterol... throw away the yolk!"
or "saturated fats are bad for you"
People perpetuating these myths don't know any better and don't have any bad intentions, but I sometimes feel compelled to educate them on stuff that can help them become healthier.
The stuff regarding eggs drives me nuts! If they knew exactly what they were throwing away, they would be horrified.
baby chickens.
they're baby chickens.
and they're delicious.0 -
no...... I just laugh to myself and keep on truckin.0
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bahahahahahahayes, i felt like i was doing fine, until all i begin hearing that i need to lift more weights and less reps, and then someone else tells me less weight with more reps or i will bulk up.... and that the leaner i am the more calories i will burn, when others tell me that you burn more calories when you are are larger and have more to lose. and that i need to eat all my exercise calories, or not to eat any, or to only eat half. it makes me want to stop participating in these boards honestly.
you obviously need to eat more bananas. start with three a day then add one.
and then, when you are finally eating enough of them.
when you poo
and look at it.
you can sing.
this S**t is bananas.. b-a-n-a-n-a-s.0 -
bahahahahahahayes, i felt like i was doing fine, until all i begin hearing that i need to lift more weights and less reps, and then someone else tells me less weight with more reps or i will bulk up.... and that the leaner i am the more calories i will burn, when others tell me that you burn more calories when you are are larger and have more to lose. and that i need to eat all my exercise calories, or not to eat any, or to only eat half. it makes me want to stop participating in these boards honestly.
you obviously need to eat more bananas. start with three a day then add one.
and then, when you are finally eating enough of them.
when you poo
and look at it.
you can sing.
this S**t is bananas.. b-a-n-a-n-a-s.
you and I are probably the only people here that know that song. lol.0 -
Wow..... I honestly get where this started out coming from. I too hate unsolicited advice. But try to keep this in mind. To someone who weighs only 110 lbs and has been exercising their whole life, I (at 138 lbs and just starting to build lean muscle) might not appear to have any knowledge on the subject. In reality, I'm knowledgable enough to have completely transformed my body in the past year and gone from a size 22 to a size 7! So I don't understand discounting someone's knowledge on appearance. Everything is subjective in life. That's why it is so hard to judge a book by it's cover.0
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I learned a long time ago that when I choose to share something with someone, I try to keep it in the "I". "I have tried this..."; "I don't do this beccause..."; "I have been successful at ...". People are less offended if they don't feel like you are "telling them what to do". I try to keep the conversation light unless they say something specific to or about me and it is wrong.... then I correct them. I just try to do it in a polite and courteous way. However, having said that, sometimes it is best just to nod your head and walk away.
ARLYS0 -
Do you get annoyed when people offer unsolicited weight loss advice? Especially when they are are in worse shape than you? I don't like the judgmental tone it sometimes comes with.
I admit, I do a little. I just smile and bite my tongue.
Yes! And when they are in worse shape than you is annoying, but I have a friend who was born skinny, will always be skinny, and can eat whatever she wants without gaining weight and when she tries to give me eating tips it's excrutiating.
My sister is like this! Eats whatever and is skinny, but.... she may be skinny and I may be overweight, but in the end, I am healthier in certain areas (ie, cholestoral, buidling muscle, endurance and so forth). I am overweight so that means people like me have no reason to give advice? or am I reading into it too much?0 -
Lol oh myThey should try to 400 calorie diet. It's much more fashionable.
I think the most fashionable diet is to say you're on a 1200 calorie diet... but not count everything you eat...
then complain about your metabolism.0 -
Do you get annoyed when people offer unsolicited weight loss advice? Especially when they are are in worse shape than you? I don't like the judgmental tone it sometimes comes with.
I admit, I do a little. I just smile and bite my tongue.
Yes! And when they are in worse shape than you is annoying, but I have a friend who was born skinny, will always be skinny, and can eat whatever she wants without gaining weight and when she tries to give me eating tips it's excrutiating.
My sister is like this! Eats whatever and is skinny, but.... she may be skinny and I may be overweight, but in the end, I am healthier in certain areas (ie, cholestoral, buidling muscle, endurance and so forth). I am overweight so that means people like me have no reason to give advice? or am I reading into it too much?
Unless you've actually seen your sister's cholesteral numbers, you're making assumptions about her health here, too. Coming from one of those skinny-and-can-eat-anything perspectives, it's a lot easier to just let people think I'm "lucky" than to explain to them that all of their dieting has probably killed their metabolism. People that are working hard to lose weight don't like to hear that. (This is one of the reasons I tend to withhold advice from people, but will explain it if asked). If you look at my food diary, I eat a lot of fat and cholesteral, but having had my cholesteral tested a few times I can tell you my numbers are about perfect. Endurance, blood pressure, muscle tone, all doing fine.0 -
Not sure if that's a good thing or bad thing :laugh:
bahahahahahahayes, i felt like i was doing fine, until all i begin hearing that i need to lift more weights and less reps, and then someone else tells me less weight with more reps or i will bulk up.... and that the leaner i am the more calories i will burn, when others tell me that you burn more calories when you are are larger and have more to lose. and that i need to eat all my exercise calories, or not to eat any, or to only eat half. it makes me want to stop participating in these boards honestly.
you obviously need to eat more bananas. start with three a day then add one.
and then, when you are finally eating enough of them.
when you poo
and look at it.
you can sing.
this S**t is bananas.. b-a-n-a-n-a-s.
you and I are probably the only people here that know that song. lol.0 -
Not sure if that's a good thing or bad thing :laugh:
bahahahahahahayes, i felt like i was doing fine, until all i begin hearing that i need to lift more weights and less reps, and then someone else tells me less weight with more reps or i will bulk up.... and that the leaner i am the more calories i will burn, when others tell me that you burn more calories when you are are larger and have more to lose. and that i need to eat all my exercise calories, or not to eat any, or to only eat half. it makes me want to stop participating in these boards honestly.
you obviously need to eat more bananas. start with three a day then add one.
and then, when you are finally eating enough of them.
when you poo
and look at it.
you can sing.
this S**t is bananas.. b-a-n-a-n-a-s.
you and I are probably the only people here that know that song. lol.
Well, just for the record, I aint no hollaback girl.0 -
I learned a long time ago that when I choose to share something with someone, I try to keep it in the "I". "I have tried this..."; "I don't do this beccause..."; "I have been successful at ...". People are less offended if they don't feel like you are "telling them what to do". I try to keep the conversation light unless they say something specific to or about me and it is wrong.... then I correct them. I just try to do it in a polite and courteous way. However, having said that, sometimes it is best just to nod your head and walk away.
ARLYS
^^ This is how to give advice.
What annoys me more than unsolicited advice is people who have lost weight, and instantly assume the way they did it will work for every single person on the planet. I have no problem with advice, but when people say "your doing it wrong, do it this way or your thick!" it really gets my back up because it is dished out as if it is the gospel truth. Especially with something like weight loss, which is based on SO many variables (nutrition, weight, height, build, metabolism, genetics, time, money, support... the list goes on) there is no 'one-fits-all' solution.
I have noticed the worst for this are people who are newly thin.0
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