Relationship problem?
Replies
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Run far away.
Jealousy is not a good trait in a relationship.0 -
That is so stupid I don't even have words for it.lesbian girlfriends of my girlfriend do scare me and yes it is because i am insecure..
they can be burly dikes or lovely "friends"
lesbians offer something men cant get... a womens point of views towards sex...
we cant compete with that... i dont care how hard you try we cant.. we arent women and lesbians scare us because they have something we dont when it come to courting and pleasing a woman... nothing can change that...
if things flow towards the girl then enjoy yourself and take lots of pics for us
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Sue, had it right, it will only get worse. soon you won't be allowed to do anything without him. I've seen it...0
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How do you handle his confrontation? I would suppose that he is trying to get a reaction from you. I definitely don't think you should be sacrificing friends for anyone. It's his trust issue and its unfair for him to impose it on you. However, have you ever told him these things straight up? Men don't take well to hints or going around the bush. I personally think if you have never done anything wrong and he seems like he is just testing boundaries and limits (which happens in every relationship) that it appears to be of a control issue he is having. Don't let him walk all over you, let him know when he is going too far.
Tell him how he makes you feel when he acts that way and that he needs to talk these things out in a mature way. Tell how much of an impact it has on your life, he probably doesn't even realize what he is doing. However, never point the finger!! That is what leads to arguments, always suggest outcomes and better solutions for the BOTH of you. If he don't care then he is not worth the time of day love.0 -
You're seriously considering dumping your friend (who I assume has done nothing wrong), just because your boyfriend is acting jealous and starting fights with you about it? Sounds like he has the problem, not her.
I think you really need to take a step back and look at yourself and your relationship and see if it is healthy. Based on your post, it doesn't sound like it is. I'm not trying to be mean. Just take advice from someone who has been there, in an unhealthy relationship. I lost friends, held back from doing things I really wanted, etc. All because I loved him and like you, didn't want to throw our time together (two years) down the drain. I told myself that all relationships take sacrifice and in the end it would be totally worth it.
Well, it wasn't.0 -
You should hook up with your lesbian friend:flowerforyou:
Most men/boyfriends would be encouraging the OP to hook up with her friend, so I find this comment hysterical. LOL
Okay, I have my serious face on now.....I agree with the other posters, either throw his **** out on the lawn and tell him "Peace out" or "Kick Rocks (whatever your preference is).....OR sit him down and talk to him.
Be direct and clear, if he has trust issues than he should resolve those issues before entering into a relationship of ANY kind.
I have found that being direct and to the point saves you a lot of heartache.0 -
The first thing abusive and insecure men do is make their woman separate from every person in their life that they could turn to for help and support.
^ this
i am pretty sure you are probably going to disagree with this 100% but you need to take a serious look and your relationship and choose to stay or leave. I know you're thinking that there's no way he would every do anything to hurt you, he loves you too much, that's why he's jealous, he's afraid to lose you. But I'm telling you, I have lived your future and it's not pretty. It's only going to get worse. You're a young girl, you do not need to be stuck in a relationship that most likely is going to spiral out of control. And the longer you stay in the relationship, the harder its going to be to leave in the long run. I'm not telling you what to do one way or the other, because you have to make the decision on your own, but I strongly encourage you to look at the relationship as honestly as you can and make an informed decision, because this is not a healthy situation. Good luck!!0 -
lesbian girlfriends of my girlfriend do scare me and yes it is because i am insecure..
they can be burly dikes or lovely "friends"
lesbians offer something men cant get... a womens point of views towards sex...
we cant compete with that... i dont care how hard you try we cant.. we arent women and lesbians scare us because they have something we dont when it come to courting and pleasing a woman... nothing can change that...
if things flow towards the girl then enjoy yourself and take lots of pics for us
Ugh. I'm bisexual (a label I hate to use, but I won't get into that), and this just makes my stomach turn. Ironically enough, though, despite the fact that all women are apparently God's gift to women, I am married to a man. Funny how things work out.0 -
i understand that you dont dig chicks.. im not trying to say otherwise...
its just that when guys see chicks digging his chick then he starts to worry..
sure we got parts that girl;s can only pretend to have...
BUT
if he is lucky he gets to watch... if not then he gets to "watch" his girl run off somewhere and have "times" with someone else...
either way he is not included in the actual physical interaction...
he is left out... not saying that he shouldnt be sometimes... just saying that he is...0 -
I've also seen really possessive men and women who cheat themselves.The first thing abusive and insecure men do is make their woman separate from every person in their life that they could turn to for help and support.
^ this
i am pretty sure you are probably going to disagree with this 100% but you need to take a serious look and your relationship and choose to stay or leave. I know you're thinking that there's no way he would every do anything to hurt you, he loves you too much, that's why he's jealous, he's afraid to lose you. But I'm telling you, I have lived your future and it's not pretty. It's only going to get worse. You're a young girl, you do not need to be stuck in a relationship that most likely is going to spiral out of control. And the longer you stay in the relationship, the harder its going to be to leave in the long run. I'm not telling you what to do one way or the other, because you have to make the decision on your own, but I strongly encourage you to look at the relationship as honestly as you can and make an informed decision, because this is not a healthy situation. Good luck!!0 -
:frown: Thank you everyone. You all made a lot of sense.0
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Did you forget to evolve?i understand that you dont dig chicks.. im not trying to say otherwise...
its just that when guys see chicks digging his chick then he starts to worry..
sure we got parts that girl;s can only pretend to have...
BUT
if he is lucky he gets to watch... if not then he gets to "watch" his girl run off somewhere and have "times" with someone else...
either way he is not included in the actual physical interaction...
he is left out... not saying that he shouldnt be sometimes... just saying that he is...0 -
You're only 18, stop settling.
You are 18?
You need to dump his azz and let him grow up. Relationships at 18 NEED to be fun. If they are not, they need to be kicked to the curb. You are way too young to be dealing with crap like that already.0 -
lesbian girlfriends of my girlfriend do scare me and yes it is because i am insecure..
they can be burly dikes or lovely "friends"
lesbians offer something men cant get... a womens point of views towards sex...
we cant compete with that... i dont care how hard you try we cant.. we arent women and lesbians scare us because they have something we dont when it come to courting and pleasing a woman... nothing can change that...
if things flow towards the girl then enjoy yourself and take lots of pics for us
I'm a straight female. I have a few lesbian friends (heck, my doctor is a lesbian!), and I'm sorry, but I had to laugh at your post. NOTHING could make me desire another female sexually,. simply because I love men...very masculine men. A very masculine female STILL doesn't do anything for me because I love MEN...and nothing will change that.
Should your wife worry about you having sex with your gay male friends? Probably not, unless you're bisexual. Women are no different. If a man or woman has a homosexual experience, it's because a part of them was curious enough about it to try it out...unless your wife has expressed such curiosity, I wouldn't worry about her cheating on you with her lesbian friends.
I once briefly dated a guy who seriously believed that all women were secretly gay to some extent. I'm sure that retarded mentality came from years of porn watching, but he was so wrong, it was sad.0 -
Did you forget to evolve?i understand that you dont dig chicks.. im not trying to say otherwise...
its just that when guys see chicks digging his chick then he starts to worry..
sure we got parts that girl;s can only pretend to have...
BUT
if he is lucky he gets to watch... if not then he gets to "watch" his girl run off somewhere and have "times" with someone else...
either way he is not included in the actual physical interaction...
he is left out... not saying that he shouldnt be sometimes... just saying that he is...
why dont you get that another girl is a challenge to his man stuff?
you dont hang out with other guys do you?
why would you hang out with another girl that likes you then?
whats so wrong with a guy having a problem with that?
drop him if you thinks its a problem that he cares who is interested in his lady but not because its just a woman...0 -
You're only 18, stop settling.
You are 18?
You need to dump his azz and let him grow up. Relationships at 18 NEED to be fun. If they are not, they need to be kicked to the curb. You are way too young to be dealing with crap like that already.
YES!!!!
Never let someone else's insecurities affect your life. You did absolutely NOTHING wrong by having your friend stay over. No, it is NOT weird.
You don't owe your boyfriend an explanation, an apology, etc. He should be grovelling and dealing with his issues, or he shouldn't be a part of your life.0 -
Good thing everyone on this forum is a mental health professional and a relationship counselor.0
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you dont hang out with other guys do you?
why would you hang out with another girl that likes you then?
Are you telling me you SERIOUSLY can't see a difference there? She's attracted to men. Not women. So if she hangs out with a guy who is attracted to her, there is actually a risk of something happening (not saying OP would ever cheat). If she hangs out with a girl who likes her, THERE IS NO RISK.
Seriously. You're telling me that if you have a female friend who likes you, and a gay male friend who likes you, there's an equal chance of you hooking up with either of them? (I am assuming that you're heterosexual. I apologize if that's not the case).
Seriously, think through the logic here.
ETA: And are you assuming, then, that the friend "likes" her just because she is a lesbian? Do you have feelings for every girl you know? No? Okay, let's not assume things like this then.0 -
Good thing everyone on this forum is a mental health professional and a relationship counselor.
Experience, my friend.
You're young and are most likely possessive yourself, which is why you find the OP's boyfriend's behavior appropriate and "flattering". Life will teach you otherwise. You cannot control other people, and any attempt to do so will push people away from you.0 -
Tell him its ok if he wants to have a boy friend of his sleep over.0
This discussion has been closed.
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