Relationship problem?

Options
12357

Replies

  • DMZ_1
    DMZ_1 Posts: 2,889 Member
    Options
    Hi everyone! I was just wondering if any of you could help me out here.
    My boyfriend and I have been dating for about a year and a half. Everything goes good but it seems like all he wants to do is fight. Last night, a friend of mine, (who is a lesbian) stayed the night. I feel like he doesn't trust me with a FRIEND for crying out loud. So what if she likes boobs? He thinks I am going to cheat on him with everyone and everything!! I have never done anything wrong to him. By the way, I am only into guys. Should I just stop being friends with her?
    Thanks xoxo

    Also, we have talked about this already. He said he just finds it "weird" that I have her staying the night. He is jealous for no reason. Because like I said, I am into men. I love him, and he loves me. I don't want things to be over with over a few arguments. It's not worth throwing a year and a half down the drain. How am I suppose to show him he can trust me?

    Over this particular friend, I think your bf is being a bit silly.
  • ki4yxo
    ki4yxo Posts: 709 Member
    Options

    lesbians offer something men cant get... a womens point of views towards sex...

    we cant compete with that... i dont care how hard you try we cant.. we arent women and lesbians scare us because they have something we dont when it come to courting and pleasing a woman... nothing can change that...


    Seriously, speak for yourself!


    If my wife wanted a lesbian friend to sleep
    over, we're doing shots that night! :tongue:
  • twisted88
    twisted88 Posts: 330 Member
    Options
    He is insecure and sounds a bit controlling. You shouldn't get rid of your friend for him. Most likely things will get worse with him if he's always jealous (from my experience anyway). This could be my biased past experiences talking, but it sounds like he has the potential to be abusive (in some way and if not now, in the future) and I definitely do not recommend letting him isolate you.
  • BreatheSelina_
    BreatheSelina_ Posts: 55
    Options
    :ohwell: I feel as if I am stuck in this relationship though.
  • ki4yxo
    ki4yxo Posts: 709 Member
    Options


    Most men/boyfriends would be encouraging the OP to hook up with her friend, so I find this comment hysterical. LOL

    Okay, I have my serious face on now.....I agree with the other posters, either throw his **** out on the lawn and tell him "Peace out" or "Kick Rocks (whatever your preference is).....OR sit him down and talk to him.

    Be direct and clear, if he has trust issues than he should resolve those issues before entering into a relationship of ANY kind.

    I have found that being direct and to the point saves you a lot of heartache.



    I'll take no mind games FTMFW!!!
  • bbaldivia
    bbaldivia Posts: 1
    Options
    Just because your guy is insecure doesn't make him an abuser or a cheater. The guy obviously has issues. That's apparent. If you really care about him and he about you, then talk to each other.
    Let him know that you won't let this be a case of him or your friend. Remind him of how much he and her mean to you. Explain that you wouldn't ask him to separate from any of his friends.
    He needs to know he can trust you. You don't have to tell him when/if you see your friend, but you tell him anyway. That's how he knows he can trust you.
    If he still resists then you should probably part ways. He may issues you don't want trip deal with.
    I hope this helps.

    Peace
  • Vi0l33t
    Vi0l33t Posts: 117 Member
    Options
    The first thing abusive and insecure men do is make their woman separate from every person in their life that they could turn to for help and support.

    It is something to consider.
  • kaned_ferret
    kaned_ferret Posts: 618 Member
    Options
    :ohwell: I feel as if I am stuck in this relationship though.

    And that for me was the proof that you shouldn't be in this relationship. Yes it's hard, but there are ways and means of getting out and making a fresh start. Relationships shouldn't be about being stuck with someone, they are something that are entered into, and kept in, by two consenting individuals. As soon as being trapped is on the table, it's not a good relationship.

    Please feel free to pm me if you want to chat about it, I'd hate for anyone to ever unnecessarily go through what I did.
  • GasMasterFlash
    GasMasterFlash Posts: 2,206 Member
    Options
    http://www.beinggirl.com/ask-experts/my-relationships/

    They have answers to questions about menstruation too.
  • calvert6183
    calvert6183 Posts: 539 Member
    Options
    Hi everyone! I was just wondering if any of you could help me out here.
    My boyfriend and I have been dating for about a year and a half. Everything goes good but it seems like all he wants to do is fight. Last night, a friend of mine, (who is a lesbian) stayed the night. I feel like he doesn't trust me with a FRIEND for crying out loud. So what if she likes boobs? He thinks I am going to cheat on him with everyone and everything!! I have never done anything wrong to him. By the way, I am only into guys. Should I just stop being friends with her?
    Thanks xoxo

    Also, we have talked about this already. He said he just finds it "weird" that I have her staying the night. He is jealous for no reason. Because like I said, I am into men. I love him, and he loves me. I don't want things to be over with over a few arguments. It's not worth throwing a year and a half down the drain. How am I suppose to show him he can trust me?

    Over this particular friend, I think your bf is being a bit silly.

    I agree totally but also there are two sides of the story too. We dont know the history or their relationship, his past experiences with women, and his views on life. I have some guy friends, they are great guys but have been cheated on alot, i mean alot. I also tell them that they have to get over that before ever getting into a relationship with anyone. You cant bring in baggage in a new relationship. Now, if this girl cheated on him before or cheated on someone with him then he shouldnt have dated or stayed in a relationship with her because he will always have trust issues. If she has always been loyal and its just his insecurity, they need to go consoling. His insecurity will destroy their relationship. No matter what the situation is, he has to accept things, get counseling, or split ways. There is always two sides and then the real reality.

    ALso, girl, you are not stuck. No one is ever truly stuck. Today's divorce rate proves that. People can move on and find happier times. You can take advice from 10000 people but its you that knows what really goes on in that relationship. If you are not happy and truely know you will never will be and this cant be fixed. Spend time and write down the good and bad and reflect on it so you can make an educated dicision and not a emotional based decision.
  • D446
    D446 Posts: 266 Member
    Options
    Hmm I think he is being a little jealous... But I can SORT OF see where he is coming from. If he had a girl who is just a friend stay at his house would you be upset? Are you and your friends sleeping in the same bed? I think it depends on what you guts agree on in your relationship, and clearly you guys have different views about what is okay or not okay.
  • BreatheSelina_
    BreatheSelina_ Posts: 55
    Options
    Hmm I think he is being a little jealous... But I can SORT OF see where he is coming from. If he had a girl who is just a friend stay at his house would you be upset? Are you and your friends sleeping in the same bed? I think it depends on what you guts agree on in your relationship, and clearly you guys have different views about what is okay or not okay.
    If he had a gay guy stay over, I wouldn't care. But a girl, yes.
  • birdieintx
    birdieintx Posts: 298
    Options
    If it were me, I'd lose the boyfriend not the friend. Life is short and you have a lot of it left to go.

    I'm sure there's a lot more to the story, his side of things, don't listen to strangers on the internet blah blah blah. But if you're coming here to ask us chances are, you already know the answer and just want validation for how you feel.
  • BreatheSelina_
    BreatheSelina_ Posts: 55
    Options
    http://www.beinggirl.com/ask-experts/my-relationships/

    They have answers to questions about menstruation too.
    Haha, you're cool. Thanks
  • BreatheSelina_
    BreatheSelina_ Posts: 55
    Options
    If it were me, I'd lose the boyfriend not the friend. Life is short and you have a lot of it left to go.

    I'm sure there's a lot more to the story, his side of things, don't listen to strangers on the internet blah blah blah. But if you're coming here to ask us chances are, you already know the answer and just want validation for how you feel.
    True..
  • catattack13
    catattack13 Posts: 117
    Options
    :ohwell: I feel as if I am stuck in this relationship though.



    guess what. you are half of this relationship and can therefore end it whenever feel it's necessary. especially due to feeling "stuck". move on with your life.
  • dlaplume2
    dlaplume2 Posts: 1,658 Member
    Options
    No, you shouldn't lose friends just because your boyfriend is insecure. Because if it's not her, it will be someone else... eventually you will have no friends left. While lots of friends aren't necessarily a must-have, it's still important to realize that HE has a serious problem.

    This ^^^^^
  • kortmills
    kortmills Posts: 1
    Options
    Do Not stop being her friend... Friends are hard to come by these days. I am 21 yrs old and Married I have my Girl friends stay the night all the time. Granted they are not lesbians but if he is so insecure that u cant have GIRL friends thats crazy. Tell Him that When he is with you ur friends are included in that package. My husband has friends that i do not like but i put up with them be they make him happy. Ur boyfriend needs to stop being selfish and realize that ur with him and not her or anyone else. If you were with her ull let him know lol Every relationship goes through rough patches and rocky roads, believe me i have been there. My husband and i have been together almost five yrs and at the six month to yr mark i was almost done... The fighting was constant and we were both really insecure with each other but if u push trough it, it will get better. Hope everything works put with you.
  • kbmnurse
    kbmnurse Posts: 2,484 Member
    Options
    Dump his *kitten* and be glad your not married.
  • BreatheSelina_
    BreatheSelina_ Posts: 55
    Options
    Thank you to everyone who has posted useful comments. To everyone else, **** you. :grumble:
This discussion has been closed.

Categories