How do you respond to posts seeking advice?

SwannySez

On any forum you see a lot of posts asking for advice ranging from "Do you think my significant other is cheating on me?" to "Should I eat back my exercise calories?" to "Do you have any advice for how to treat a sucking chest wound?" to "Does this picture show off my vajazzling?" to "Have you accepted Jesus H. Christ as your personal savior?" to "I can't get pregnant the first time I have sex...can I?" to the open ended "What would you do if..."

it always fascinates me to watch people respond to these kinds of queries. Mostly because the query is inevitably only one side of a situation and most likely doesn't completely depict all of the factors involved. But I watch people proclaim in no uncertain terms exactly what that person should do and just what they are if they ignore that advice!

How do you tend to see such queries and how do you approach answering them?

Personally I tend to tread lightly because of my belief in the theory that we are not seeing a complete picture and my recognition that if a person were to follow my knee-jerk advice that I would in a sense feel responsible for any consequences. I guess that makes me a bit naive, but oh well.

What's your take on such entreaties?

PapaverSomniferum

I like the give the worst advice possible

relate it all back to myself, for the extra attention

then troll the **** out of all the other posters

felice03

hookers and blow...my universal response to everything.

odusgolp

I like the give the worst advice possible

relate it all back to myself, for the extra attention

then troll the **** out of all the other posters

This, is the perfect approach to nearly any situation...

SwannySez

I like the give the worst advice possible

relate it all back to myself, for the extra attention

then troll the **** out of all the other posters

I like this plan, St. Bare Knees (oh, now that I gave you this nickname I feel the need to use it constantly unitl it catches on or I get bored and forget).

hookers and blow...my universal response to everything.

Hard to argue with that.

odusgolp

Well, I sometimes like the fact that someone with little information may have an alternate way of looking at something...

For example, Johnny and Jane I know personally... It doesn't shock me that Johnny said that. But once people pointed out what a really disrespectful thing that was to do it made me realize "Yeah... that was. Why am I numb and accepting of the fact that he gets away with doing that?"

Just getting different perspectives can help

adrian_indy

I like the give the worst advice possible

relate it all back to myself, for the extra attention

then troll the **** out of all the other posters

I like this plan, St. Bare Knees (oh, now that I gave you this nickname I feel the need to use it constantly unitl it catches on or I get bored and forget).

hookers and blow...my universal response to everything.

Hard to argue with that.

I'm the same way. I never hesitate to offer real advice on things like fitness where people descibe most of the factors they are dealing with. But I get so disgusted everytime I see these morons posting how they "hate" their spouse or their husband/wife treats them so badly or did this wrong. Nothing disturbs me more than the absolute lack of intimacy, trust, and respect for a partner in life by bashing them all over the web. If the problems are that big, get counseling or get out.

hiker282

I like the give the worst advice possible

relate it all back to myself, for the extra attention

then troll the **** out of all the other posters

I like this approach!

PapaverSomniferum

I like the give the worst advice possible

relate it all back to myself, for the extra attention

then troll the **** out of all the other posters

I like this plan, St. Bare Knees (oh, now that I gave you this nickname I feel the need to use it constantly unitl it catches on or I get bored and forget).

I like it. Has more class than the name I gave myself.

SwannySez

I like the give the worst advice possible

relate it all back to myself, for the extra attention

then troll the **** out of all the other posters

I like this plan, St. Bare Knees (oh, now that I gave you this nickname I feel the need to use it constantly unitl it catches on or I get bored and forget).

I like it. Has more class than the name I gave myself.

Oh, I don't know about that. Let me ask the Tin Man...oh he seems to be asleep..and...so is the Lion...and *yawn*

Qarol

I'm not so good at being serious and staying on-topic. Pithy and facetious is how I roll. I start and stop several responses on any given day. This proves that I'm nicer online than in person. I have no backspace button in person.

PapaverSomniferum

I like the give the worst advice possible

relate it all back to myself, for the extra attention

then troll the **** out of all the other posters

I like this plan, St. Bare Knees (oh, now that I gave you this nickname I feel the need to use it constantly unitl it catches on or I get bored and forget).

I like it. Has more class than the name I gave myself.

Oh, I don't know about that. Let me ask the Tin Man...oh he seems to be asleep..and...so is the Lion...and *yawn*

GasMasterFlash

1. Maybe you're pregnant.

2. Check his text messages.

3. See a doctor and get some blood work done.

UponThisRock

I do my level best to make the person feel foolish for asking the question. I can't say that I always succeed.

SofaKingRad

Have you considered trying HCG?

SwannySez

I do my level best to make the person feel foolish for asking the question. I can't say that I always succeed.

You get the memorial Randall P. McMurphy Award, Rock - "But I tried, didn't I? Goddamnit, at least I did that."

blueeyedcristi

I prefer just to sit back and watch the show, so to speak.

BeautifulRedButterfly

I like the give the worst advice possible

relate it all back to myself, for the extra attention

then troll the **** out of all the other posters

LOL

BeautifulRedButterfly

i usually just sit back & enjoy the drama

taunto

Depends on the question at hand. If its something like "Should I worry about the high amount of sugar in fruits" then i'll just say my piece and be off with it.

But there have been some serious problem laid out here. One young woman was being harrassed by her neighbor in a very creepy way and she was trying to convince (perhaps herself?) that she can handle that little man but the things brought up in her post kinda alarmed me to keep on replying to her to keep herself safe and call the cops and the landlord on her.

Then there are the trolls and attention seekers. Not gonna lie, I fall victim to alot of them but if I see a pattern in their replies, I just back off.

CrazyDaisysMommy

Divorce/break up/ walk away. No matter what the question is or how little information you know always tell them they're stupid if they don't leave his/her sorry *kitten*. The internet is no place for thoughtful, emotionally-mature responses.

rextcat

:mad: :explode: :grumble: :noway: :ohwell: :flowerforyou: :indifferent: :glasses: :embarassed: :frown: :smokin: :devil: :sick: :smooched: :drinker: :brokenheart: :sad: :bigsmile: :blushing: :huh: :yawn: :laugh: :happy: :drinker: like this


or mabie this


or mabie i dont say anything and agree/disagree with everyone

secretlobster

I just tell 'em to eat more donuts but usually I'm beaten to that advice by someone who is completely serious

nammer79

It's always best to swallow your beer!!!

Pams_Shadow

Viciously! Cause I'm trolling... hahahaha

SONIA820

I sadly am a natural "fixer" so I tend to give the different perspective....

BAMFMeredith

First, I WISH somebody would post "does this show off my vajazzling?" God I wish.

Secondly, if I feel like I can give any useful input, then I give my honest advice. If I feel like it's ridiculous, annoying, attention seeking, or judgey, I either skip the thread or post obnoxious and unhelpful crap that usually gets me a stern message from a mod

jnh17

First, I WISH somebody would post "does this show off my vajazzling?" God I wish.

EX.ACT.LY

saragato

As far as personal life/relationship questions I try to avoid them at all cost. Over a year ago I was a member of a forum for relationship advice and support and it drove me up the wall sometimes because you'd get people who were asking the same stupid question someone else just asked with the thread still visible on the front page or you'd have members who would give the worst advice and despite you saying otherwise they'd follow the bad advice and wonder why their relationship flopped. I also had a friend who used me as her personal therapist's couch for all her bad relationships. They expect the true answer, salvation and you can't give it to them because they're either lying about something, not saying something until like 40 pages later that nulls all your advice, or simply because you can't. Plus, it's the internet. How are we to know what to do when we don't know you? That stuff's best left for people that are actively in your offline life.

Medical advice, I tell them to see a doctor. Like relationships, you're only getting so much info about what's wrong and so people say "it's this" or "take that for it" or whatever and they either run around WebMD with their underwear on their heads screaming because it says it's cancer or they hurt themselves by treating what they think it is. There's a commercial for some disease or condition or whatever makes you sick and the slogan's something like "you wouldn't want your doctor doing your job, so why do theirs?"

Anything else like fitness or nutrition or certain brands of clothes or food, if I have any knowledge on it then I'll make some input provided it hasn't been repeated to the point we've killed the horse and are now kicking it. The main ones I'll never shut up in are mental health discussions namely because I've been through the ringer when it comes to my own mental illnesses and I feel the need to correct misinformed people. Well, that goes for most things, but mental health's a tender subject.

Basically I either end up walking away from it, giving someone a tip they might use, or giving myself a headache because I started a spat again. Which explains how I got a ban on another forum where people are more thin-skinned. (and younger, like young enough to still think telling on you is the most awesome bit of revenge you can have)

jenj1313

I don't reply to a lot of the posts I read because I don't really relate to them...

But if I do relate, I often write with suggestions to address the info presented. I do tend to make disclaimers that I'm not an expert, I may not have enough info / the whole story, and I acknowledge that what works for me may not work for them... but if it helps a little bit (which I hope it does) then I'm glad to have put my 2 cents in.

It's up to the poster to sort through the responses and figure out what's best for them.

I am always puzzled about the people putting up relationship questions though. Just seems odd.

LALOCHA34

I usually don't reply to them although I do ocasionally read them and the advice given, mostly to kill some time and/or for the entertainment value of it all.

Some of the advice seeking posts should not be on this site....but to each their own. Perhaps one day I will come to a crossroads in my life and I will seek advice from other MFP members?!?

Meh, probably not. LOL