How do you respond to posts seeking advice?

rextcat

:mad: :explode: :grumble: :noway: :ohwell: :flowerforyou: :indifferent: :glasses: :embarassed: :frown: :smokin: :devil: :sick: :smooched: :drinker: :brokenheart: :sad: :bigsmile: :blushing: :huh: :yawn: :laugh: :happy: :drinker: like this


or mabie this


or mabie i dont say anything and agree/disagree with everyone

secretlobster

I just tell 'em to eat more donuts but usually I'm beaten to that advice by someone who is completely serious

nammer79

It's always best to swallow your beer!!!

Pams_Shadow

Viciously! Cause I'm trolling... hahahaha

SONIA820

I sadly am a natural "fixer" so I tend to give the different perspective....

BAMFMeredith

First, I WISH somebody would post "does this show off my vajazzling?" God I wish.

Secondly, if I feel like I can give any useful input, then I give my honest advice. If I feel like it's ridiculous, annoying, attention seeking, or judgey, I either skip the thread or post obnoxious and unhelpful crap that usually gets me a stern message from a mod

jnh17

First, I WISH somebody would post "does this show off my vajazzling?" God I wish.

EX.ACT.LY

saragato

As far as personal life/relationship questions I try to avoid them at all cost. Over a year ago I was a member of a forum for relationship advice and support and it drove me up the wall sometimes because you'd get people who were asking the same stupid question someone else just asked with the thread still visible on the front page or you'd have members who would give the worst advice and despite you saying otherwise they'd follow the bad advice and wonder why their relationship flopped. I also had a friend who used me as her personal therapist's couch for all her bad relationships. They expect the true answer, salvation and you can't give it to them because they're either lying about something, not saying something until like 40 pages later that nulls all your advice, or simply because you can't. Plus, it's the internet. How are we to know what to do when we don't know you? That stuff's best left for people that are actively in your offline life.

Medical advice, I tell them to see a doctor. Like relationships, you're only getting so much info about what's wrong and so people say "it's this" or "take that for it" or whatever and they either run around WebMD with their underwear on their heads screaming because it says it's cancer or they hurt themselves by treating what they think it is. There's a commercial for some disease or condition or whatever makes you sick and the slogan's something like "you wouldn't want your doctor doing your job, so why do theirs?"

Anything else like fitness or nutrition or certain brands of clothes or food, if I have any knowledge on it then I'll make some input provided it hasn't been repeated to the point we've killed the horse and are now kicking it. The main ones I'll never shut up in are mental health discussions namely because I've been through the ringer when it comes to my own mental illnesses and I feel the need to correct misinformed people. Well, that goes for most things, but mental health's a tender subject.

Basically I either end up walking away from it, giving someone a tip they might use, or giving myself a headache because I started a spat again. Which explains how I got a ban on another forum where people are more thin-skinned. (and younger, like young enough to still think telling on you is the most awesome bit of revenge you can have)

jenj1313

I don't reply to a lot of the posts I read because I don't really relate to them...

But if I do relate, I often write with suggestions to address the info presented. I do tend to make disclaimers that I'm not an expert, I may not have enough info / the whole story, and I acknowledge that what works for me may not work for them... but if it helps a little bit (which I hope it does) then I'm glad to have put my 2 cents in.

It's up to the poster to sort through the responses and figure out what's best for them.

I am always puzzled about the people putting up relationship questions though. Just seems odd.

LALOCHA34

I usually don't reply to them although I do ocasionally read them and the advice given, mostly to kill some time and/or for the entertainment value of it all.

Some of the advice seeking posts should not be on this site....but to each their own. Perhaps one day I will come to a crossroads in my life and I will seek advice from other MFP members?!?

Meh, probably not. LOL

SwannySez

As far as personal life/relationship questions I try to avoid them at all cost. Over a year ago I was a member of a forum for relationship advice and support and it drove me up the wall sometimes because you'd get people who were asking the same stupid question someone else just asked with the thread still visible on the front page or you'd have members who would give the worst advice and despite you saying otherwise they'd follow the bad advice and wonder why their relationship flopped. I also had a friend who used me as her personal therapist's couch for all her bad relationships. They expect the true answer, salvation and you can't give it to them because they're either lying about something, not saying something until like 40 pages later that nulls all your advice, or simply because you can't. Plus, it's the internet. How are we to know what to do when we don't know you? That stuff's best left for people that are actively in your offline life.

Medical advice, I tell them to see a doctor. Like relationships, you're only getting so much info about what's wrong and so people say "it's this" or "take that for it" or whatever and they either run around WebMD with their underwear on their heads screaming because it says it's cancer or they hurt themselves by treating what they think it is. There's a commercial for some disease or condition or whatever makes you sick and the slogan's something like "you wouldn't want your doctor doing your job, so why do theirs?"

Anything else like fitness or nutrition or certain brands of clothes or food, if I have any knowledge on it then I'll make some input provided it hasn't been repeated to the point we've killed the horse and are now kicking it. The main ones I'll never shut up in are mental health discussions namely because I've been through the ringer when it comes to my own mental illnesses and I feel the need to correct misinformed people. Well, that goes for most things, but mental health's a tender subject.

Basically I either end up walking away from it, giving someone a tip they might use, or giving myself a headache because I started a spat again. Which explains how I got a ban on another forum where people are more thin-skinned. (and younger, like young enough to still think telling on you is the most awesome bit of revenge you can have)

Thanks, Saragato. I appreciate the time you took to consider a well thought out response, but I kinda expect that from you.

And thanks to EVERYBODY who's responding. I really am curious about how different people make the choices they do regarding advice in these settings.

doorki

I like to reply with images and memes that only I find funny.

saragato

I don't reply to a lot of the posts I read because I don't really relate to them...

But if I do relate, I often write with suggestions to address the info presented. I do tend to make disclaimers that I'm not an expert, I may not have enough info / the whole story, and I acknowledge that what works for me may not work for them... but if it helps a little bit (which I hope it does) then I'm glad to have put my 2 cents in.

It's up to the poster to sort through the responses and figure out what's best for them.

I am always puzzled about the people putting up relationship questions though. Just seems odd.

From what I've seen no matter what type of forum/discussion area you're a member of, there will be people who pose those questions and expect just about expert advice. It's all over Yahoo! Answers, there's a site aimed at teens/college students I've been on for years that has a section for questions ranging from "why is my boyfriend hitting me?" to "my mom took my razor blade, what else can I cut with?"

As the saying goes, "if you build it, they will come." Doesn't matter if it's appropriate for the site or even the targeted age range, they'll pop up because it's convenient and some people would rather get bad and possibly deadly (in any sense of the word) advice from strangers on the internet than get judged by someone they know. And for that, all I can really suggest is getting a therapist because by law they can't say anything unless you're intending to hurt yourself or someone else and they can get to know you and therefore give better advice. Well, unless you get my old therapist, her answer to everything was "do things that make you uncomfortable and if you come back and haven't then I'll be upset."

saragato

As far as personal life/relationship questions I try to avoid them at all cost. Over a year ago I was a member of a forum for relationship advice and support and it drove me up the wall sometimes because you'd get people who were asking the same stupid question someone else just asked with the thread still visible on the front page or you'd have members who would give the worst advice and despite you saying otherwise they'd follow the bad advice and wonder why their relationship flopped. I also had a friend who used me as her personal therapist's couch for all her bad relationships. They expect the true answer, salvation and you can't give it to them because they're either lying about something, not saying something until like 40 pages later that nulls all your advice, or simply because you can't. Plus, it's the internet. How are we to know what to do when we don't know you? That stuff's best left for people that are actively in your offline life.

Medical advice, I tell them to see a doctor. Like relationships, you're only getting so much info about what's wrong and so people say "it's this" or "take that for it" or whatever and they either run around WebMD with their underwear on their heads screaming because it says it's cancer or they hurt themselves by treating what they think it is. There's a commercial for some disease or condition or whatever makes you sick and the slogan's something like "you wouldn't want your doctor doing your job, so why do theirs?"

Anything else like fitness or nutrition or certain brands of clothes or food, if I have any knowledge on it then I'll make some input provided it hasn't been repeated to the point we've killed the horse and are now kicking it. The main ones I'll never shut up in are mental health discussions namely because I've been through the ringer when it comes to my own mental illnesses and I feel the need to correct misinformed people. Well, that goes for most things, but mental health's a tender subject.

Basically I either end up walking away from it, giving someone a tip they might use, or giving myself a headache because I started a spat again. Which explains how I got a ban on another forum where people are more thin-skinned. (and younger, like young enough to still think telling on you is the most awesome bit of revenge you can have)

Thanks, Saragato. I appreciate the time you took to consider a well thought out response, but I kinda expect that from you.

And thanks to EVERYBODY who's responding. I really am curious about how different people make the choices they do regarding advice in these settings.

I'm a long-winded person, what can I say? Well, except for everything.

BrettPGH

Divorce/break up/ walk away. No matter what the question is or how little information you know always tell them they're stupid if they don't leave his/her sorry *kitten*. The internet is no place for thoughtful, emotionally-mature responses.

Funny, I do the exact opposite. No matter what relationship question is asked I like to throw out an "Aww kiss him honey!" It's especially fun when women decide to share stories of spousal abuse.

kaned_ferret

If I find it's something I have personal experiences of, I will try to relate, maybe explain my own experiences and how they worked out for me (for good or bad). I try to NOT advise people, firstly because what I would do in a given situation might not be right for them and theirs, and secondly it's my general feeling that most authors of "this is what situation I'm in - insert something horiffic/depressing - what should I do?" posts are not ready to do anything other than what they already are / think they should be doing, and are just after confirmation that it's the right thing to do (yep, personal experience card played again )

If I think it's going to be interesting I will sit back and reach for the proverbial popcorn, and invariably wait for your comments Swanny, because they usually make me smile :flowerforyou:

BrettPGH

First, I WISH somebody would post "does this show off my vajazzling?" God I wish.

EX.ACT.LY

:sad:

xraylady33

Have you considered trying HCG?

THIS NEVER FAILS TO CRACK ME UP......LOVE IT!

SwannySez

If I think it's going to be interesting I will sit back and reach for the proverbial popcorn, and invariably wait for your comments Swanny, because they usually make me smile :flowerforyou:

Well ain't you just the sweetest li'l musk producer!

sisierra

I only respond to things i think i can put meaningful input into (unless I just reply for funsies); if i think it is trivial and nonsense i dont bother/ or if someone has already written what i have said i dont respond