Dating site slams on weight

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fitforlife34
fitforlife34 Posts: 331 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I couldn't believe it! I started back up on POF dating site (because I had a lot of good dates back in July) thought I'd give it a try. I added one guy, kinda cute, and he was fit, worked out etc. Well, he sent me a letter that wrote:

"Hi, you seem like an interesting person. But...I need a woman who can keep up with me exercise, running etc."

It was like a slap in the face! I didn't care (I didn't know him) but it made me feel kinda depressed. Especially since I'm not fat, and I posted pictures that were flattering (not as many body shots.) lol.

Has anyone else had this same experience, and if so, what did you do to not let it get to you?

Thanks.
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Replies

  • jhardenbergh
    jhardenbergh Posts: 1,035 Member
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    wow the guy sounds like a real douche, at least he revealed his douchyness to you sooner rather than later so you didn't have to waste your time.
  • schpanks
    schpanks Posts: 468 Member
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    Yeah, what he said.
  • meshashesha2012
    meshashesha2012 Posts: 8,326 Member
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    at least he was honest. i might be the one of the few people who think this, but i dont fault people for not liking certain body types (whether that type be skinny, fat, tall, short) because attraction isnt based on political correctness. if someone doesnt find a certain body type sexually or physically appealing then there really is no way to have a complete relationship, at least in my opinion.

    i wouldnt think anything of it. there's something for everyone. for every guy who's not going to be attracted to you there' sure to be another who does.
  • Dixietrink82
    Dixietrink82 Posts: 33 Member
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    The bottom line is, if the guy is that shallow to allow assumptions of what you are capable of or your personality he's not worth it. I say forget him and keep on looking. POF is filled with TONS of guys who are losers or are just looking for the hook up. There are also really great guys. Case in point, I met my husband on POF and he's really the most amazing man I've ever dated. They are out there, but just remember, you have to be willingly to only date the awesome guys, not that jerk who assumes he knows who you are.
  • Kassielin13
    Kassielin13 Posts: 263
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    I've never used one of those sites but I do have a suggestion!...
    DON'T SWEAT IT!!! :wink:
    He was obviously way to shallow for you anyway.
  • nananie2
    nananie2 Posts: 272 Member
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    Yeah... I got the "sorry" I don't date fat chicks more than once...

    Slap in the face all right, but in the end, who cares? Don't need another d-bag in my life... :wink:
  • GoldspursX3
    GoldspursX3 Posts: 516 Member
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    I don't think it's shallow at all. People are attracted to what they are attracted to.

    Geez....if every guy acted like this every time he got shot down the human race would cease to exist.
  • MissingMinnesota
    MissingMinnesota Posts: 7,486 Member
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    I am sorry but I don't see anything wrong with what he said. I have many times wanted to say it to some of the guys that message me. If you want to look atheltic or show that you are into working out maybe post a picture from a 5k or zumba or what ever you do to exercise. That would show that maybe just because you are not a perfect size 2 your are active.

    I have a picture from the warrior dash and that is one of the most commented on pictures I have posted.
  • Kerri_is_so_very
    Kerri_is_so_very Posts: 1,005 Member
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    I have used POF too and all I get are offers for NSA type encounters...:noway:
  • Stompp
    Stompp Posts: 216
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    wow the guy sounds like a real douche, at least he revealed his douchyness to you sooner rather than later so you didn't have to waste your time.

    THIS. Five times over... To be fair POF is like the trailer park of dating sites.
  • Julieothree
    Julieothree Posts: 63 Member
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    Yes I have had this happen several times
  • Diary_Queen
    Diary_Queen Posts: 1,314 Member
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    What I find harsh are the sites that match you with people who are lazy slobs just because you're overweight. Sure, I'm 240+ lbs. but I work out a lot... I eat healthy... I don't sit on my butt and play video games or watch TV for hours and hours and hours every night. I lead a healthier lifestyle even though pictures don't always show that. It boils down to the world thinking a fat chick must automatically want a fat dude. If the dude is working on his weight and health an overall well being like I am, sure.... love that!!!! More power to him and his poppin booty. BUT, if they match me with some dude just because he's in the same weight category and he's a sluggish lazy bum... why could I be matched with someone a couple of notches up. I'm not ugly... I'm not lazy... I'm not boorish.... I'm just carrying around some fat that I'm slowly but surely getting rid of. That's where the whole problem starts for me - right from the darn get-go.

    In more of an actual response to the topic, I've gotten the negative comments too though. One person actually replied "yttaF".. and I'm like... "uh, I can see that it says "Fatty" backward... did you think I was too stupid to notice." They replied that most fat people just don't get it and then they block those fat people for being both fat and stupid so they could justify blocking them with 'two faults'. Really? WTH?
  • ncthomas09
    ncthomas09 Posts: 322 Member
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    I haven't used that particular dating site...i used zoosk but stil ran into the same kinda thing from guys. But here's why I think this guy you mentioned sucks!! I have a gym membership altho I rarely use it (shame on me!) and while I was there let me tell you. There were plenty of older women (60+) that could whoop my butt on most of the equipment and there were alot of younger girls that were...healthy and they could out run me, out do me on weights and everything else. So just because a person may be skinny, chunky, fair, old or young doesnt mean they can or can't keep up with someone else's exercise routine!!!
  • Alexc2012
    Alexc2012 Posts: 20
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    Don't waste your feelings on guys who don't even know you. It's a good thing you didn't invest any time on him. You're a beautiful lady... Good luck reaching your goals... Sending you a hug....:bigsmile: .
  • MelissaT81
    MelissaT81 Posts: 123 Member
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    wow the guy sounds like a real douche, at least he revealed his douchyness to you sooner rather than later so you didn't have to waste your time.

    THIS. Five times over... To be fair POF is like the trailer park of dating sites.

    ^^ This...
  • Toddrific
    Toddrific Posts: 1,114 Member
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    I thought this was about how dating makes you gain weight with all the meals out and sitting around at movies =P

    I feel Okcupid has people a notch up from POF...but generally the internet is a place can be more douchie than in real life.
  • kvonjohn
    kvonjohn Posts: 569 Member
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    I think that yeah it may have been shocking but at least he wasn't mean or hateful in the way he said it. We all have preferences in the people we choose to date and if he is a super fit guy that loves the gym that's who he is. The only thing is why do people automatically assume that plus size people aren't or can't be fit or athletic?
  • MizSaz
    MizSaz Posts: 445 Member
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    He was being honest. He could have maybe been a little classier about it, but he was being honest. Nobody wasted anyone's time.
  • LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo
    LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo Posts: 3,634 Member
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    wow the guy sounds like a real douche, at least he revealed his douchyness to you sooner rather than later so you didn't have to waste your time.

    ^^ THIS... Well to be fair I commended his honesty because it takes a lot of courage to tell someone phrases like "I like you but I don't love you", "Well you're pretty but you're just not my type" or "I think you're awesome but I'm not interested" especially when they don't have someone special in theri lives & so most of the time guys (or even some ladies) would play around & keeping your hopes up and then will leave you when they meet someone else.
  • jessie1480
    jessie1480 Posts: 132 Member
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    You could have always thanked him for letting you know that he was an @ss, then wished him luck in finding some one as shallow as he is. That is why they call it plenty of fish. There are many more where that one came from. It becomes a fun game of catch and release when you look at it that way. I found a keeper on there 20lbs ago. Don't let one jerk get you down. :)

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