Dating site slams on weight

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  • Axels91
    Axels91 Posts: 213
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    I think that yeah it may have been shocking but at least he wasn't mean or hateful in the way he said it. We all have preferences in the people we choose to date and if he is a super fit guy that loves the gym that's who he is. The only thing is why do people automatically assume that plus size people aren't or can't be fit or athletic?

    stereotypes exist for a reason. there are exceptions, but there is a general rule
  • BKR1977
    BKR1977 Posts: 43 Member
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    Why would you be upset? this guy is being honest. Isnt that what you would want if you're starting a relationship? If i asked a female to be able to keep up with me i know i would be asking for a lot. Most 5ks i would win most of the female divisions. Lets be honest that females who win their races runnin are usually of a certain body type and that's ok. If that's what he wants then move on. Plenty fish in the sea.
  • PaleoPath4Lyfe
    PaleoPath4Lyfe Posts: 3,161 Member
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    at least he was honest. i might be the one of the few people who think this, but i dont fault people for not liking certain body types (whether that type be skinny, fat, tall, short) because attraction isnt based on political correctness. if someone doesnt find a certain body type sexually or physically appealing then there really is no way to have a complete relationship, at least in my opinion.

    i wouldnt think anything of it. there's something for everyone. for every guy who's not going to be attracted to you there' sure to be another who does.

    I agree.
  • onewithwings
    onewithwings Posts: 56
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    I couldn't believe it! I started back up on POF dating site (because I had a lot of good dates back in July) thought I'd give it a try. I added one guy, kinda cute, and he was fit, worked out etc. Well, he sent me a letter that wrote:

    "Hi, you seem like an interesting person. But...I need a woman who can keep up with me exercise, running etc."

    It was like a slap in the face! I didn't care (I didn't know him) but it made me feel kinda depressed. Especially since I'm not fat, and I posted pictures that were flattering (not as many body shots.) lol.

    Has anyone else had this same experience, and if so, what did you do to not let it get to you?

    Thanks.

    Oh yes! Unless you post naked pictures(no, and I won't) most guys believe you to be fat! Just my experience. I've had the same thing happen. Believe me, they're not worth it in the scheme of things.

    I do think he was rude to say that!
  • JadeRabbit08
    JadeRabbit08 Posts: 551 Member
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    I dont see anything wrong with what he said at all. He wants a running partner to share his interests. He didnt insult your looks or personality.
  • JaySpice
    JaySpice Posts: 326 Member
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    I agree.
  • prism6
    prism6 Posts: 484 Member
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    okay..stories? you want stories? I have tried most sites in the 13 + I have been alone. first experience...emailed..no phone or pictures a guy for about2 months. couldn't wait to get his email each morning and night...planned a mtg. I drove 2hrs to where he lived, we met at a parking lot ...well. he was chunky,john deer cap, flannel,green teeth. I didn't really feel an instant attraction,but we had been'friends' for months. well,we went wine tasting,during that time he told me that if the 'date' wasn't going well he was supposed to call his friend,then his friend would call and say he had an emergency at work....45min. later he went to the john. 5min. later he got the emergency call... he then told me that he had another date set up for the evening anyway..another first date....so I drove 2hrs home. that evening he emailed and told me that the second date was much better looking than me,so he wanted to stop all contact. I have about 8 of those aborted attempts at dating sites...yes it is about weight, also confidence or lack of, and what you are willing to do or not do. After every membership ran out I was more depressed than ever. Even singles dances are meat markets....that is why I am ..once bitten, twice thrice ect shy.
  • Mamao7
    Mamao7 Posts: 79
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    Yea major douche.... you can find better. you will find better.
  • mellisaweldon
    mellisaweldon Posts: 96
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    I have never been on a dating site per say, but my whole life, until 5 years ago, was pretty much the same too. I was always called too fat, too weird, too short, too young-looking, too uninteresting, and too studious, to name a few. I can tell you that yes, he doesn't deserve your time, but yes also, it does hurt, no matter which one it is. I personally only let myself be around people who are at least a little like me in one of those ways but also like me for who I am, not what I look like, say, or do sometimes, cause let's face it, everyone has some off days sometimes. Keep up the work you are doing and forget about him, and find someone else who likes you no matter what (only if you want to, lol).:wink::smile:
  • watboy
    watboy Posts: 380 Member
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    A long long time ago in a galaxy far far away I had a girl tell me " i like big guys" I felt like a piece of meat and.... I loved it. Now back to you. I've seen girls who are of the larger persuasion run longer than some of those supposedly fit guys. He's a bit of an idiot. A better way to have handled wouldve been to say I'm sorry youre not my tyoe. Easy and honest. Just like me.
  • autihill
    autihill Posts: 23 Member
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    People are so rude now! I was also on POF, I posted that I was "a few extra pounds." Well that was all dandy...but once the conversations would go so far and the guys would find out that I wasnt sleezy/ looking for a hook up, they would pull the weight card. Didn't bother me a bit, because people are always going to talk garbage. Fat? Yes I am, that's why I'm fixing it. Classy, money cant buy that :) Happily single, focusing on me and when God leads the right person to me, He will. They will love me for me; fat, skinny, short, whatever! Keep your chin up!
  • meshashesha2012
    meshashesha2012 Posts: 8,326 Member
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    my advice for overweight people like me who are in the process of losing weight : make sure to also post a picture of yourself doing something active. one of the good things about road races is that they are always popping off photos.

    i think most non overweight people are Ok with larger people if they know that person is active : hiking, running, tennis, etc. it's not necessarily the weight they arent attracted to (although this might also be the case), just the thought that you're going to sit around all day doing nothing.

    unfortunately lots of people are still under the assumption that everyone gets overweight by not being active enough. they seem to not realize that there are those of who us who have always been plenty active, but who also ate and drank a thousand extra calories a day :laugh:
  • watboy
    watboy Posts: 380 Member
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    Right on. I was 250 lbs and my girl still loved me and I loved her. Combined we both lost over 100 lbs.
    People are so rude now! I was also on POF, I posted that I was "a few extra pounds." Well that was all dandy...but once the conversations would go so far and the guys would find out that I wasnt sleezy/ looking for a hook up, they would pull the weight card. Didn't bother me a bit, because people are always going to talk garbage. Fat? Yes I am, that's why I'm fixing it. Classy, money cant buy that :) Happily single, focusing on me and when God leads the right person to me, He will. They will love me for me; fat, skinny, short, whatever! Keep your chin up!
  • LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo
    LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo Posts: 3,634 Member
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    okay..stories? you want stories? I have tried most sites in the 13 + I have been alone. first experience...emailed..no phone or pictures a guy for about2 months. couldn't wait to get his email each morning and night...planned a mtg. I drove 2hrs to where he lived, we met at a parking lot ...well. he was chunky,john deer cap, flannel,green teeth. I didn't really feel an instant attraction,but we had been'friends' for months. well,we went wine tasting,during that time he told me that if the 'date' wasn't going well he was supposed to call his friend,then his friend would call and say he had an emergency at work....45min. later he went to the john. 5min. later he got the emergency call... he then told me that he had another date set up for the evening anyway..another first date....so I drove 2hrs home. that evening he emailed and told me that the second date was much better looking than me,so he wanted to stop all contact. I have about 8 of those aborted attempts at dating sites...yes it is about weight, also confidence or lack of, and what you are willing to do or not do. After every membership ran out I was more depressed than ever. Even singles dances are meat markets....that is why I am ..once bitten, twice thrice ect shy.

    WOW that was so rude of him! Based from what you write, he doesn't sound like an attractive man & yet he had the nerves to do that. Now that is what I call a real *kitten*.
  • jennygettinfit
    jennygettinfit Posts: 11
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    wow. I guess the only positive is that you found out he's a DB before you wasted the gas $ to go meet him! you have a gorgeous smile and he's the one missing out. may you find your prince, and may he have better priorities/judgment than that. good luck, girl!:heart:
  • meshashesha2012
    meshashesha2012 Posts: 8,326 Member
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    true story :

    one time i met a guy who was with a bunch of friends of friends. i kinda thought he was cute and tried flirting but he blew me off. this was at a coed sports thingy so i was pretty much dressed schlubby in sweats and tee.

    a few weeks later we all went out for drinks and i was dressed nicer. dude tried to flirt with me that time. i was interested too until he mentioned something about thinking that i was one of those sloppy fat girls who always looked frumpy, but since he saw me in a dress and made up, he thought i was kinda cute... :noway: :laugh:

    what made his comments worse was that i dont think he was drunk and i think he trying to make a compliment :explode:
  • GoldspursX3
    GoldspursX3 Posts: 516 Member
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    ROFL...some of yall take rejection waaay too seriously. God forbid that someone isn't attracted to you.
  • FlaxMilk
    FlaxMilk Posts: 3,452 Member
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    His reason is valid, but something a little more general wouldn't have hurt. :)
  • watboy
    watboy Posts: 380 Member
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    Yeah some people do. It's sad though to be rejected. But on a good note it frees you up to acceptance.
    ROFL...some of yall take rejection waaay too seriously. God forbid that someone isn't attracted to you.
  • AngelikaLumiere
    AngelikaLumiere Posts: 862 Member
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    I was "not petite enough" moving on...
    I later met a man who loved me just the way I was so I was glad I didn't let that comment turn me into a hermit.

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