Dating site slams on weight

ElizabethRoad

I don't really see the problem here. Everyone knows where everyone stands. No one's time was wasted. It may have hurt your feelings, but there's really no real classy way to say "You're too fat for me" without saying "You're too fat for me".

The classy way is to say "no thanks".

thomassd1969

To be perfectly honest with you I was on POF for a very short time, it seemed like every dirtbag loser was on there and only looking for one thing. I switched to Match and met the man I am with today. We are getting married in a few years and have been together for 3. Switch sites and good luck.

Cmonnowguys

I think that yeah it may have been shocking but at least he wasn't mean or hateful in the way he said it. We all have preferences in the people we choose to date and if he is a super fit guy that loves the gym that's who he is. The only thing is why do people automatically assume that plus size people aren't or can't be fit or athletic?

stereotypes exist for a reason. there are exceptions, but there is a general rule

I agree. Not everyone fits the stereotype, but stereotypes aren't usually based off of total untruths.

Cmonnowguys

ROFL...some of yall take rejection waaay too seriously. God forbid that someone isn't attracted to you.

Right??

grinch031

ROFL...some of yall take rejection waaay too seriously. God forbid that someone isn't attracted to you.

Right??

Right on. I think every girl that ever rejected me is shallow because I am a great person! Why would anyone possibly not want to date me?

Cmonnowguys

I don't understand why everyone keeps saying "he was being honest." If he was being honest, he could have said "you're not my type" or "I'm not interested." Instead, he made an assumption that she could not keep up with him and implied that she was over weight. I'm about 30 or 40 lbs over weight and I am more active and in better health than most of my thin friends. So I really feel that it was an unfair judgement. I thought this site was supposed to be encouraging. I was disappointed to read all the "he was being honest" remarks.

He just said this in a more specific way OK. I hate those abstract terms like "You're not my type" or "I'm not interested", it just makes me wonder more & even lose my self-esteem. The problem with most of us is we love to sugar-coat everything, even going as far as lying just to make others feel good.

Great point. If it were me, I would be sure to put a better representation of my activity level, like some other ppl here said. I would not take what he said personally, but at least as feedback of how my profile appears to other ppl and tweak it to reflect me better. If he had been vague you would have been clueless as to whether you "weren't his type" because you have brown hair or because he got the impression you weren't active. Those are two completely different reasons. If you want to attract men who are fit like you said, I think for the most part those men also want women who give off the impression that they are/want to be fit.

Lozze

I have myself as 'a few extra pounds' (which was the opinion of a friend) and have my profile pic here as one of my photos. I had a guy contact me with 'you're not average' which confused me. I hadn't contacted him and this was his first words. When I queried him he told me I'm not if average weight and shouldn't lie. I responded with 'I don't have myself as average, I have a full body shot and I've lost quite a bit of weight and am quite happy with myself' The response? 'Well let me know once you've lost another 10kg and we'll meet as I don't date fat chivks' My response was 'LOL no' and blocked him.

It does go both ways. I made the mistake of talking to a guy without seeing a pic. I liked him but had to really badger him to get a pic. Finally got the pic and am not attracted in the slightest. Will never be attracted. I don't talk to people without pics now.

Kristy_Elizabeth

I'm a POF fan! Met my fiance on there a little over three years ago. I dated a couple of other guys from there too and they were decent guys, just not right for me. I hate for something like that to ruin the site for you. There are some good guys out there!

fitforlife34

SCV Sarah.......you are right! I think sometimes if a guy says it more subtley it can hurt more. I had an ex boyfriend who told me, "if you just lost weight, you'd be the baddest chick." (meaning, hot, amazing, in his words.) I agree with people here who said he was just being honest, in terms of he wanted someone with his interests with running etc. I am a singer, songwriter, poet etc. and my pictures reflected that. Honestly, he wasn't that interesting, I just wanted to stop going "for my type" and start dating intellectual, sporty types. He seemed like that, but it's kinda sad they aren't interested in me.

But yeah, I've learned a lot from everyone's posts !I'm glad I"m not the only one who feels this way. I do need to get my self esteeem up so other stranger's stupid judgemental comments don't hurt me so much. I know people who are over 200lbs that love themselves, and people love them because of their personality!

I had a friend who was over 250 lbs, met her future fiance, and he accepted her. She lost like 60lbs from being with him (hiking, walking etc.) and he's a pretty fit guy. That's true love!!!!!!! Now they have a beautiful baby boy.