MSNBC POLL: Half Of Men Say They Would Leave A Partner Who G

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  • TinkrBelz
    TinkrBelz Posts: 888 Member
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    Bump for later.
  • Musikelektronik
    Musikelektronik Posts: 739 Member
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    Good thing my wife's a woman. Otherwise, she'd be long gone! :laugh:
  • alpha2omega
    alpha2omega Posts: 229 Member
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    And I'm technically considered obese..:grumble: Hopefully my wife is sympathetic. lol
  • Trail_Addict
    Trail_Addict Posts: 1,350 Member
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    My problem with polls that ask about what someone "would" do, is that the inclination to do something does not always stand up to the "act" of doing something. Meaning, I can easily say I'd jump the bank robber with the gun, but when the moment comes, I may freeze (even though I really wouldn't :wink: ).

    So, to me, a poll asking if someone "would do" something is pretty meaningless. We are defined by our actions, not our intent to someday do something.

    Edited to add: I'd love to see a poll asking how many women have left their man for things non-physical - lost his job, emotionally detached, bad with money, etc. Polls on this forum have clearly shown that women aren't as hung up on body anyways, so for that poll to say 20% of women would leave their hubby is kinda pointless. Apples and oranges.
  • amalthea23
    amalthea23 Posts: 44 Member
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    My partner is openly a "no fat chicks" guy, but when I was on steroids for 6 months, I was totally a fat chick and he never said a single word to me about it or treated be any less than the wonderful way he always does. I think a person who immediately answers "yes" to a question like this has some other issues with their relationship and is just looking for any excuse to leave.
  • IamRoJ
    IamRoJ Posts: 530 Member
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    Question for the male-bashers...or really anyone who's lost a significant amount of weight. Aren't you a different person than you were when you were heavier? I know I was. And honestly, I like new Ro better than old Ro...not because she's thinner, but she's got a better outlook, and more confidence, and laughs a whole lot more.

    So maybe, the fact one set would leave another set isn't always the superficial "she's not hawt" thing, but maybe it's for all the other baggage that comes with the weight.

    Let's also not assume that there are many women who might do the same darn thing.
  • thistimeismytime
    thistimeismytime Posts: 711 Member
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    After reading some of the male responses, I'm feeling extremely grateful for my husband right now. At my heaviest weight, he still wanted me all the time, and told me I was beautiful every day--many times a day. We've been married 13 years and have 2 children. Your body can expect some changes with time and the stresses of life. He NEVER pressured me to get back in shape or eat a certain way. I'm getting healthy and strong for myself, but also out of respect for him and my children. Attraction is more than skin deep, and people who don't get that should not get married in the first place.
  • tjradd73
    tjradd73 Posts: 3,495 Member
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    I don't disagree with the thought process on this... if you marry someone who is fit, attractive, healthy, and who has a lot of confidence...feelings are bound to change for that person if they gain a ton of weight...including their self confidence and, lack of motivation, and lack of happiness!!

    Point being...they are most likely not leaving the person just because they got fat...there are many other things that go along with being overweight...and a person can be totally different from fat to thin!
  • tjradd73
    tjradd73 Posts: 3,495 Member
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    Question for the male-bashers...or really anyone who's lost a significant amount of weight. Aren't you a different person than you were when you were heavier? I know I was. And honestly, I like new Ro better than old Ro...not because she's thinner, but she's got a better outlook, and more confidence, and laughs a whole lot more.

    So maybe, the fact one set would leave another set isn't always the superficial "she's not hawt" thing, but maybe it's for all the other baggage that comes with the weight.

    Let's also not assume that there are many women who might do the same darn thing.

    just read this...pretty much exactly what I just said :)
  • SofaKingRad
    SofaKingRad Posts: 1,592 Member
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    Half of men would also screw anything that stands up right.

    That's not true. I like when women are on all fours.
  • thistimeismytime
    thistimeismytime Posts: 711 Member
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    That's where COMMITMENT comes in. For better or worse.... If people can't hack that, that's fine. Stay single! Even if your weight remains the same, people change over the course of years. No wonder so many marriages end in divorce. People have no concept of sacrifice, serving another person, putting someone's needs above your own. Selfishness of this magnitude just flat-out makes me sad.
  • thistimeismytime
    thistimeismytime Posts: 711 Member
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    I'm leaving this thread, grateful and saddened.
  • BigBoneSista
    BigBoneSista Posts: 2,389 Member
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    My hubby was with me when I was slim and loved me just the same when I 324 lbs. Glad I didn't screw up and meet one of those men polled. But then again the poll is posing a what you would do question. You never really know until you are in that situation.

    I told myself I would never date/marry a man under 6' when I was a teenager/ young adult. A few years later I met and fell in love with hubby. He's 5'8"......things change like the seasons.

    Oh I'm 6'....:smile:
  • ElizabethRoad
    ElizabethRoad Posts: 5,138 Member
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    Who cares what people say they would do? This kind of poll has no bearing on what they would actually do. Fact is, most people do end up gaining weight as they get older. It's not some hypothetical situation that isn't likely to happen. And while plenty of marriages do break up eventually, most of them don't end because someone got fat.
  • tjradd73
    tjradd73 Posts: 3,495 Member
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    That's where COMMITMENT comes in. For better or worse.... If people can't hack that, that's fine. Stay single! Even if your weight remains the same, people change over the course of years. No wonder so many marriages end in divorce. People have no concept of sacrifice, serving another person, putting someone's needs above your own. Selfishness of this magnitude just flat-out makes me sad.

    how can you have commitment to someone else...if you can't even have commitment to yourself?! When I gained 80lbs, my whole world was upside down! Not only was I miserable, but I therefore made life for my ex plus my whole family miserable too! I couldn't even commit to life, let alone try to commit to a relationship at the time! This IS about selfishness...but not selfishness of the other person walking away from the relationship, but instead selfishness of the person who gained the weight, and thought that the other should be there to hold the whole thing togethor on their own!
  • thistimeismytime
    thistimeismytime Posts: 711 Member
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    how can you have commitment to someone else...if you can't even have commitment to yourself?! When I gained 80lbs, my whole world was upside down! Not only was I miserable, but I therefore made life for my ex plus my whole family miserable too! I couldn't even commit to life, let alone try to commit to a relationship at the time! This IS about selfishness...but not selfishness of the other person walking away from the relationship, but instead selfishness of the person who gained the weight, and thought that the other should be there to hold the whole thing togethor on their own!

    As I said, ^^no concept of self-sacrifice, of having a servant's heart. If I'm not pleased in this moment, I should break up my marriage and family. My marriage has endured a lot more than a little weight gained and lost. I can't make you "get it." You don't. I won't be back. This is a total waste of my time.
  • FORKDOWN
    FORKDOWN Posts: 1,754
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    I dont think its because of the weight gain directly. Its that women no longer feel sexy with the weight gain and the sex life diminishes.

    Of course just my opinion.
  • tjradd73
    tjradd73 Posts: 3,495 Member
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    how can you have commitment to someone else...if you can't even have commitment to yourself?! When I gained 80lbs, my whole world was upside down! Not only was I miserable, but I therefore made life for my ex plus my whole family miserable too! I couldn't even commit to life, let alone try to commit to a relationship at the time! This IS about selfishness...but not selfishness of the other person walking away from the relationship, but instead selfishness of the person who gained the weight, and thought that the other should be there to hold the whole thing togethor on their own!

    As I said, ^^no concept of self-sacrifice, of having a servant's heart. If I'm not pleased in this moment, I should break up my marriage and family. My marriage has endured a lot more than a little weight gained and lost. I can't make you "get it." You don't. I won't be back. This is a total waste of my time.

    to each their own I guess...I just know that I worked through a LOT of issues (including weight gain AND loss) in my marriage...before we threw in the towel for good, but that added stressor was completely controllable and also completely unnecessary. and sometimes walking away is really the best option for you and your family...you cannot force a marriage to work...just sayin...
  • CoryIda
    CoryIda Posts: 7,887 Member
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    I am going to offend all feminists and say that I refuse to bash men for leaving their partners for gaining weight.

    Why? Because men are visual creatures. They are stimulated by what they see.
    Fortunately, some men like to see bigger women. Some like smaller. We all have different tastes, and that's okay.

    I imagine that, when this study claims that men would leave a partner for gaining weight, it isn't all visual, however. They may find, as I did as I lost weight and my partner did not, that being with a partner who doesn't share your desire to be healthy can be difficult to deal with. It wasn't my reason for leaving him, but it definitely did put a strain on the relationship.

    Anyway, women can be shallow, too - we tend to be a bit more forgiving on weight issues, but not about money, or sexual performance, or any other number of issues.

    So don't assume that half of all men are douche bags because of one study. You know what? Most men are pretty awesome.
    I'm quoting myself just to mix something non-bashing in with all the animosity going on on this page of the thread.
  • Bonita_Lynne_58
    Bonita_Lynne_58 Posts: 2,845 Member
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    I dont think its because of the weight gain directly. Its that women no longer feel sexy with the weight gain and the sex life diminishes.

    Of course just my opinion.

    Not sure this is always true...but with me..the more weight I gained..the less sexy I felt..and yes..sex became almost extinct!

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