MSNBC POLL: Half Of Men Say They Would Leave A Partner Who G

chrystee

I've known a few ladies who were thin and their men cheated on them with bigger women too.
I guess there are a lot of different things that can happen.

I know my husband likes bigger women, so I do worry about how he will feel when I get smaller, but so far, its been a positive response.

NNAhuja

Interesting, my ex left me for a girl who was 10 years younger, and twice as big as me.

A similar thing happened to me except she was 5 years younger, bigger, AND had horrible extensions (from what I've heard).

ambersylva

This makes me sad! Not saying my husband is shallow, cause he is not! But this sorta stuff just makes me want to push myself and get fit and healthy, I am already pretty darn FAB!!!! I think it is our jobs to TRY and stay somewhat in good shape! I feel that we do not only owe it to our spouse, kids, but to ourselves! It is also our job as a spouse and/or parent to MAKE SURE our family is healthy!!!!

mamnboston

Half of men would also screw anything that stands up right.

Not true, I like to power drill my stuff!

haha, you have to admit, that was funny!

mamnboston

but seriously, why would you want to be with someone so superficial???

on the other hand, i'm not interested in being with someone who doesn't take care of themselves emotionally, physically and spiritually...

Nessa03ca

Half of men would also screw anything that stands up right.

So funny and yet sadly so true!

Monti_e_lmt

Is this dating or married? I didn't have a large history of leaving people for any reason. I wouldn't leave my wife if she gained 400 pounds. (I would worry about her health way before that.)

That is the the kind of person I wish I could find because I am the same way. It is not true love if you would leave your partner over looks. I don't care if they have a deformity, I don't care if they gain weight, if I love them and they love me and we are good to eachother then why would I ruin that over looks. People can be so shallow. When I get married, it will be for true love.

jcstanton

Is this dating or married? I didn't have a large history of leaving people for any reason. I wouldn't leave my wife if she gained 400 pounds. (I would worry about her health way before that.)

^^This. I think that if you've made a lifetime commitment to someone in marriage it's supposed to be "...For better, or for worse. In sickness, and in health. As long as we both shall live..." I'm not saying you have to be okay with your spouse gaining an unhealthy amount of weight to the point that it affects quality of life for both of you. You should definitely encourage them to make an effort to get healthy again. However, I don't think it's justifiable to end a marriage because of it.

Farfourah

Interesting, my ex left me for a girl who was 10 years younger, and twice as big as me.

A similar thing happened to me except she was 5 years younger, bigger, AND had horrible extensions (from what I've heard).

Same happened to me, except she was older and bigger....btich must have given great head.

Nessa03ca

Funny I was just talking to my fiance about something similiar to this... I was actually thanking him for never making me feel bad about myself after i gained 40 pounds after i had are son. He always made me feel sexy which looking at pictures was not the true I was a fat *kitten*...lol...

DAM_Fine

Half of men would also screw anything that stands up right.

As would half the women too.

Personally I prefer prone...

Monti_e_lmt

I think the issue here is not REALLY gaining weight. over 1/2 of marriages fail- it has more to do with a general attitude toward commitment than it does about weight gain. Think about the things that go along with gaining weight- depression, anxiety, low self esteem, low energy, low sex drive etc.... those are all things that affect a relationship-

Those men or women who would leave their partner over weight gain would have probably left for something else eventually. They have an skewed perception- relationships are disposable to them.

You are wise Kelly I totally agree

BGabbart

Well let me say this I GAINED all my weight after I got married and my husband did not leave me. He has gained some also but he did not let hisself go the way I did. He now supports me with my weight loss, he has not joined me yet but he does support me. I find it weird that he has a beer belly but does not drink beer, he is small every where but his belly.

Nessa03ca

My hubby was with me when I was slim and loved me just the same when I 324 lbs. Glad I didn't screw up and meet one of those men polled. But then again the poll is posing a what you would do question. You never really know until you are in that situation.

I told myself I would never date/marry a man under 6' when I was a teenager/ young adult. A few years later I met and fell in love with hubby. He's 5'8"......things change like the seasons.

Oh I'm 6'....

Love it!

BAMFMeredith

You know, I'll be honest here. I get it. And it makes me CRAZY when I see people get into relationships and think "Sweet! I snagged me a husband/wife! No need to try anymore!" and let themselves go. Why wouldn't you want to keep up your appearance for your partner and for yourself?

The first time you saw your significant other, the first thing you thought was "damn look at that hot piece!" or some variation (ok, that's what I thought). Point is, physical attraction is the first thing we have. You don't see some random stranger and think "Damn, I bet he has a GREAT personality, I'm gonna go hit on him." No. Be real. You don't have sexy times with somebody you're not physically attracted to (unless you're desperate), so of course, you're gonna be physically attracted to your partner.

If your partner gains a whole bunch of weight and you don't find them physically attractive anymore, that's gonna put strain on the relationship. Basically it would say to me (and I'm pretending to be a man here) "she doesn't care about herself enough to even take care of herself anymore (barring some sort of medical issue--we're just talking lazy relationship weight gain), and she doesn't care about me enough to keep herself in shape and healthy."

Now I'm certainly not one of those women who believes you have to be dressed up and have makeup on at all times to impress your husband, but why quit taking care of yourself? I would not expect my boyfriend to stay with me if I just quit taking care of myself altogether. In fact, I think he's REALLY happy that I've begun to take better care of myself and get in shape (I was overweight when we got together).

Of course, I've got exes who have gone on to date bigger, smaller, uglier, prettier girls than me, but while IN a relationship, I think it's kinda like pulling a switcheroo on your guy to take care of yourself in the beginning then let it all go once you've got him committed to you. Same goes for you, fellas, I'd say something if my bf just stopped caring about his health and let himself go.

LaurenKauf

I am going to offend all feminists and say that I refuse to bash men for leaving their partners for gaining weight.

Why? Because men are visual creatures. They are stimulated by what they see.
Fortunately, some men like to see bigger women. Some like smaller. We all have different tastes, and that's okay.

I imagine that, when this study claims that men would leave a partner for gaining weight, it isn't all visual, however. They may find, as I did as I lost weight and my partner did not, that being with a partner who doesn't share your desire to be healthy can be difficult to deal with. It wasn't my reason for leaving him, but it definitely did put a strain on the relationship.

Anyway, women can be shallow, too - we tend to be a bit more forgiving on weight issues, but not about money, or sexual performance, or any other number of issues.

So don't assume that half of all men are douche bags because of one study. You know what? Most men are pretty awesome.

I'm quoting myself just to mix something non-bashing in with all the animosity going on on this page of the thread.

I'm quoting you because you're awesome!!!

DQMD

Well honestly...I won't date anyone unless the at least attempt to take care of themselves. I am not saying they have to be at a perfect weight but a huge part of my life is eating right. If they sit down and eat a pint of ice cream in front of me...it is hard.

My exhubby would buy a 5 lb bag of M&M's and give it to me.

He liked bigger women. When I lost weight he became kind of mean. I refused to gain weight back to please him.

CNParker

My husband had a serious problem with me gaining weigh. He just wasn't physically attracted to me. I'm not going to wine and cry about it. I did gain weight between hypothyroid disease, fertility treatments and just plan no exercise and bad diet I gained 50lbs. It was my fault. I got smart and got healthy. I'm not to my ideal weight but I've lost about 20lbs and my husband thinks I'm dead sexy now. I don't condone leaving a marriage because of weight. You did agree to love through sickness and health. But the individuals out there that cry because there spouse said they are fat should take an honest look at themselves and see if there is some truth in what the asshat says.

tmacmoto

Polls are wrong unless they are being used for dancing.

I fall into the other category where I left my gf when she lost weight. She started out at 185-190 and got down to 115 which was good, but as a chubby chaser, this didn't excite me. Of course, there are limits...there's healthy chubby and unhealthy obesity. Good chubby gives you something to hold on to other than skin and bones and I really didn't care for the bruising that I received from her pelvis.

Beauty is the eye of Ra or the beholder or whatever floats your boat. Just remember to use the anchor to steady yourself, not drown yourself. And for Pete's sake, don't kill the albatross, it's good luck.

Nu__Me

I am going to offend all feminists and say that I refuse to bash men for leaving their partners for gaining weight.

Why? Because men are visual creatures. They are stimulated by what they see.
Fortunately, some men like to see bigger women. Some like smaller. We all have different tastes, and that's okay.

I imagine that, when this study claims that men would leave a partner for gaining weight, it isn't all visual, however. They may find, as I did as I lost weight and my partner did not, that being with a partner who doesn't share your desire to be healthy can be difficult to deal with. It wasn't my reason for leaving him, but it definitely did put a strain on the relationship.

Anyway, women can be shallow, too - we tend to be a bit more forgiving on weight issues, but not about money, or sexual performance, or any other number of issues.

So don't assume that half of all men are douche bags because of one study. You know what? Most men are pretty awesome.

You know, I'm not going to dispute what you've said, it's honest and truthfully, pretty accurate for many people.

What baffles me about this is that when I've head this statement from various men and women, it has often times been from people who are definitely not putting their best foot forward in the physical department themselves...