MSNBC POLL: Half Of Men Say They Would Leave A Partner Who G

sdrawkcabynot

I am going to offend all feminists and say that I refuse to bash men for leaving their partners for gaining weight.

Why? Because men are visual creatures. They are stimulated by what they see.
Fortunately, some men like to see bigger women. Some like smaller. We all have different tastes, and that's okay.

I imagine that, when this study claims that men would leave a partner for gaining weight, it isn't all visual, however. They may find, as I did as I lost weight and my partner did not, that being with a partner who doesn't share your desire to be healthy can be difficult to deal with. It wasn't my reason for leaving him, but it definitely did put a strain on the relationship.

Anyway, women can be shallow, too - we tend to be a bit more forgiving on weight issues, but not about money, or sexual performance, or any other number of issues.

So don't assume that half of all men are douche bags because of one study. You know what? Most men are pretty awesome.

Your honesty is awesome and I tend to agree with this.

What he said... about what she said! *thumbs up*

sdrawkcabynot

friends don't let friends listen to or take seriously anything from MSNBC

or YAHOO! or Fox News!

Nu__Me

Maybe I'm a bit jaded on this subject because I've been married to the same woman for 21 years but I think after a long period of time physical attraction is just icing on the cake.

Honestly I have to say I know more than a few men who feel exactly the same as the article stated. The absolutely strange thing about it is these men are overweight themselves and aren't even CLOSE to an Adonis or Atlas physique; yet they have the Adonis/Atlas complex in their heads. VERY STRANGE!

Yes physical attraction is EXTREMELY important but I believe once you get past the 5 - 8 year point you realize the physical attributes of your spouse moves further down on the scale (no pun intended) of what is important in the relationship. Your physical appearance can literally change in an instant and is merely just an accident or medical condition away from changing.

When I met my wife she was gorgeous, beautiful when she had a basketball belly during her 4 pregnancies. Still sexy when she was overweight, and stunningly lovely in her 40s. I sure hope she feels the same way ....

There is a difference in your appearance changing with age, and just letting yourself go completely. It shows that you don't care. Of course if there is a medical condition, multiple pregnancies, and just getting older, things are going to change, but I would find myself unattracted to my boyfriend if he just stopped caring about his health and appearance altogether.

@Meredith I totally respect your opinion and I do see your point.... sort of. May I ask you a question?

If your boyfriend somehow started feeling depressed or began fighting depression and stopped caring about his appearance but was otherwise the same loving, kind, and charming man, while still making you feel like you are the only woman he needs, would you still feel unattracted to him?

I'm not going to judge you Meredith, I'm merely curious. Your outlook is interesting....

If he were beginning to feel depressed or began fighting depression, I would hope that I'd notice or that he'd come to me about it before he packed on 50 lbs. I'm all about getting to the root of the problem before it gets out of control. If I'm too self absorbed to notice that my bf is depressed, then I'm a pretty sh!tty girlfriend! I feel like that falls into a different category than just the standard "I don't need to impress anybody anymore, so I'm gonna let myself go" thing that happens a lot in relationships.

If I gained a bunch of weight and he came to me and said "I would really like for you to take care of your health again, like you used to" and I just refused to, then I'm being a bad partner. One of my friends went through this. He was with this girl who he was totally in love with, and proposed to her. And it was like the second the ring got put on her finger, she became totally lazy. She gained 50 lbs almost overnight it seemed, stopped working out, stopped watching what she ate, and then would get mad when she caught her fiance glancing at another woman who was in good shape. She used to be fit and in shape and let it all go for no reason. He felt like a total *kitten* for wanting her to lose weight and get back to how she used to be, but I mean, can you blame him? I sure can't. He tried to be subtle about it and suggest they go do active things together, and she would shoot it down and want to go out to eat or watch a movie instead. Any time he suggested going to the gym like she used to she jumped down his throat and accused him of calling her fat. It was a lose-lose for the guy. He finally ended the relationship because she just wasn't the person he fell in love with anymore: a person who cared about her health and was active and took care of her body.

Anytime someone 'let's themself go', I honestly believe it's because something on the inside is not well...emotionally or physically. When the inside is right, the outside falls into place. There is never a 'just because' or 'for no reason'...

And I think often, the comments about the exterior part, the part that is showing, is what gets focussed on...wrong tactic. My Father has been like this with my Mother their entire relationship. It's terrible to watch. He is at her constantly about the exterior package and in all my years, I've yet to hear him ask what's going on inside. That is so damaging...deeply damaging...no matter how 'innocent' he tries to sound about it, there is nothing innocent about it...

hil30

LOL!

chanstriste13

i am interested to know the age-range of the 70,000 polled.

my initial reaction? shame on them! you don't leave someone you love because they gained weight. if you do, you didn't love them to begin with. sad world.

my second reaction? i don't think the majority of fellas that checked that little box would actually really behave that way. just a mouthy little thing, fleeting fantasy type stuff. they should do a poll to see how many of those men went home to their significant others and confessed to checking that little box - i bet that percentage would decrease dramatically!