What is up with my husband???

volleypc

Just talk to him about it. Tell him how you feel. No games.. just honesty. It will make things get much better much faster.

Ebwash89

Sometimes guys like to feel wanted too and for the girl to start it. Its the chase or the excitement. Every now and then you have to shock him or switch the routine. Sometimes you start or sometimes he does.

solarpower03

Maybe he's got something on his mind?

I know with my husband if he's stressed out, then sex is out of the question.

I agree with this bit totally. Does he have a stressful job?

MmmDrop

To be totally honest lady, my husband is the same way - and has been the same way since we first met 6 years ago. I think its a Marine thing. Sometimes they're hot, sometimes they're cold. They have a lot on their minds a lot of the time, so try not to take offence.

When it comes down to a boiling point though, I normally just have to be extra aggressive to get his mind to come back down to earth.

brandillyn

I've talked to him plenty about it. It's been going on longer than a month, now that I think about it it's been going on for like 3 or 4 months.

Lolli1986

When he says 'I try' ask him 'and how do I respond?' or tell him 'honey, if i'm not responding with an obvious yes, then grab me and kiss me or something because i can guarantee i will be feeling the same way'.

my ex felt like i didn't initiate, but i felt that i did, and that he rejected my advances (probably because he didn't understand that affection is an advance).

umachanxo

Like others said, talk to him about it. Communication is SO important in a marriage and so often forgotten. You may find something is bothering him. And ignore the comments about being in a young marriage. It doesn't much matter the age - just how mature the situations are handled.

ElizabethRoad

I don't feel the need to put make up on and get dolled up when no one is gonna see me.

Ouch, you just called your husband "no one".

thomassd1969

I had the same problem with my fiancee, I finally just got brave and asked him if he wasnt turned on by me, He said no that he wasnt sure if I wanted him so he just let me come to him if I wanted it. Crazy but mens brains are so insecure.

tig_ol_bitties

Communication. Yes, sometimes it's good to get input from others (like a message board), but the person you should REALLY be talking to is....your husband.

SARgirl

My husband is the same way! I could parade around naked and I don't think he would bat and eye! There have been times that we've gone months because I refuse to initiate anything! If anyone has other suggestions I'm all ears:)

Candi8099

Wife’s Journal

Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn’t flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn’t say much. I asked him what was wrong; He said, ‘Nothing.’ I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said he wasn’t upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it.

On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving. I can’t explain his behavior I don’t know why he didn’t say, ‘I love you, too.’ When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent. Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep – I cried. I don’t know what to do. I’m almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.

Husband's journal

Jeep won’t start…can’t figure out why.

PERFECTLY SAID!!!!

brandillyn

I don't feel the need to put make up on and get dolled up when no one is gonna see me.

Ouch, you just called your husband "no one".

That's not what I meant.

brooklynsfinestballerina

My ex is a Marine, and there were plenty of times where he just didn't want it. In fact there was a long stretch of time where he just wasn't interested. I looked really good too! My girls thought he was cheating, but my guy friends said it was because he was stressed. That's a hella stressful job no matter what his rank, so try not to take it personally. Maybe do something super sexy to try to get it going? If not, then try sitting him down and talking to him<3

JulieH3art

I'm most often the pursuer of sex in my relationship (as someone said above). I don't know, it's been that way with me in every relationship. I don't think we have sex extremely often, but my boyfriend says (twinkle in eye and all) that I definitely crave it more than he does.

Sometimes I press pause on the initiative button to give him the chance instead. And that's awesome, too. But hey, as long as he's happy.

edit: there's been times when I've felt stressed out or hurt that he didn't want "it" as much as I do. And then HE got stressed out and hurt at my insecurity. Try to NOT make a big deal of it, without ignoring it. Some men work in cycles of more and less sexual drive, and when your relationship is long-term you have to adjust your expectations and your ways of dealing with sex (it doesn't just work on pure lust anymore, you have to be creative and inventive and make room for breathers and mood swings and bad body odor days). When you live together, you grow comfortable, you grow older and things change. You have to be patient and positive and really listen to him when he tells you the whys and the hows. When my boyfriend has an exam coming up, for instance, he is constantly stressed and worrying and he has a hard time relaxing - not to mention feeling lust. Those are the times when I put all the effort in, and I have to try and do that without taking his behaviour personal. Equally, if I feel ugly or insecure about my body he usually picks up on it and takes the time to make ME feel special.

I don't know if I'm making any sense at all.

elishabeish

My hubby and I had this issue and I talked to him about it, turns out he had a lot on his mind, Life gets stressful and he felt weak admitting it because he is my rock, I reminded him that I'm here to be his rock also and now we have nightly pillow talks to vent it all out and back in action. Good luck!!

Natx83

My husband is the same way! I could parade around naked and I don't think he would bat and eye! There have been times that we've gone months because I refuse to initiate anything! If anyone has other suggestions I'm all ears:)

Ahhhh you try initiating for once.... Cutting of your nose in spite of your face.

chanstriste13

Wife’s Journal

Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn’t flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn’t say much. I asked him what was wrong; He said, ‘Nothing.’ I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said he wasn’t upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it.

On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving. I can’t explain his behavior I don’t know why he didn’t say, ‘I love you, too.’ When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent. Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep – I cried. I don’t know what to do. I’m almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.

Husband's journal

Jeep won’t start…can’t figure out why.

bwah! hah! chortle! smirk! mirth!

i'm so printing this out for my husband...!

momof8munchkins

When he says 'I try' ask him 'and how do I respond?' or tell him 'honey, if i'm not responding with an obvious yes, then grab me and kiss me or something because i can guarantee i will be feeling the same way'.

my ex felt like i didn't initiate, but i felt that i did, and that he rejected my advances (probably because he didn't understand that affection is an advance).

this ^ sounds like you are missing his subtle cues.

robinso5

It's been about a month since he's said anything like, "Hey, you're looking good." or anything remotely relating to.. you know... ummmm.... sexual things. I'm ALWAYS the one who has to start it. Then after the ...sexual stuff.. he says to me, "I've been wanting to for days now." But he DOESN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT!
So this week I haven't started anything just to see what he'd do, he doesn't even seem remotely interested..
Sure, I don't have a job so I don't feel the need to put make up on and get dolled up when no one is gonna see me. Does that really matter to guys?

I need input..

Okay my spouse and i shared this conversation yesterday! but it was th eother way around! he actually told me i wa addicted to workign out! I laughed and said i'd rather be addicted to exercising than to be FAT AS HELL. well anyway we talked and discovered he doesnt want it all the time either but when he does and i reject he feels that i dont want him anymore so what we vowed to do was more communication and nights out just to get the wanted feeling.

Now my question to you, and i hate to come off wrong, but Why dont you work? I find that a large number of military wives dont work. If there are small women in the picture I can understand but if not (maybe school age or not yet here) then i think getting something going for yourself is the first step. I was in the military and I know what the pay looks like! two incomes are better than one. and if you are worrried about being at work while he is home then look for something in the daycare industry or so forth. Just my five cents!