would you help out a lady?

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  • hapoo100
    hapoo100 Posts: 940 Member
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    Manners are free, its amazing how rare they are at times. Hold the door, hold the elevator, hold a chair, lift a package, all minimal effort. Every time I see a Mom putting bags in her car, I offer to take her empty cart back to the cart corral so she can put her child in the car seat. The little time it takes me are made up for by the smile and thank you which make my day.
  • Maurice1966
    Maurice1966 Posts: 438 Member
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    Absolutely. Man, woman or child. It's not about chivalry and all about helping someone out for no reason at all other that it feels good intrinsically and that they could be your next boss :D
  • xTenaciousJx
    xTenaciousJx Posts: 555
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    i would have asked if you needed help and tried to help, if my husband was with me he would have 100%. It's a sticky situation sometimes these days. For those men to laugh at you or make rude comments that's just crazy to me! As far as Home Depot, I'm thankful at mine there are employees ready and willing to help. I really can't believe if you've been doing this over a year that NO ONE has asked.

    *sigh*
  • yustick
    yustick Posts: 238 Member
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    I would only offer to help if the person seemed to be struggling. In most cases I would think the person has a plan or would have asked store personnel to help. I consider myself to be polite though. I hold doors open, smile or pick something up if someone drops something.

    We do a lot of yard work. In the spring I go for loads of soil, mulch etc. No one has ever offered to help me. I figured people think i need the exercise. But, I would have thought that guys would jump to help an attractive young lady like the OP.
  • sjebert
    sjebert Posts: 212 Member
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    I would have helped, my mama would beat me if she found out that I didnt help
  • lissymae11
    lissymae11 Posts: 71
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    I would help (even as a female) but probably only if it looked like you were struggling or needed help. I'm always cautious not to offend...
  • orangecrayon
    orangecrayon Posts: 293 Member
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    I don't know. I mean society is very self-centered nowadays, but if I had that much stuff (and there have been times that I have) I've usually gotten the offer for help. So I don't know.
  • mybeach27
    mybeach27 Posts: 243
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    Of course you do - you're Canadian!! I'm Australian and I was told if you can't tell if someone's Canadian or American then "accidentally" stand on their feet. The Canadian will apologise to *you*. I've been to Canada a couple of times and went out with a Canadian for a while and you guys are all polite - keep it up!! :flowerforyou:
    [/quote]

    Ouch! Well I'm from America and I pride myself on my good southern manners...soo...nothing against Canadians though, just saying that not all Americans are as rude as we are portrayed!
  • Ttopeka
    Ttopeka Posts: 160
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    I don't consider myself to be rude in the slightest, but I probably wouldn't have offered to help unless I saw that you were visibly struggling. I'm not particularly strong myself, so if you seemed to have a handle on things, I wouldn't want to mess that up.

    Plus, I probably would have assumed that if you were doing it by yourself, it's because you had turned down help from the employees. I can't believe they didn't offer to help with that!
  • carrotstick2012
    carrotstick2012 Posts: 161
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    I'm usually one of the first to offer help to people but, in this situation, I wouldn't. My back is just not up to that kind of lifting and I don't want to injure myself (and have to pay for the treatment I'd need). I wouldn't feel bad about this because a person who needed help has the option of approaching a member of staff and asking for help to load up.
  • Hootsmamma
    Hootsmamma Posts: 254 Member
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    I would definitely help. I help others (men...women...whomever). I routinely carry 50 lbs--dog food/bird seed etc. by myself ( although an 80lb sack of horse pellets pushes me over my limit) - even if I am not walking all that well (I have MS). Yup, I have noticed too, that folks rarely ever offer to help--even if I am struggling. My parents raised me right, and I Always try and help whomever needs asistance. I don't discriminate about where /when/or who I offer assistance.
  • REET420
    REET420 Posts: 160 Member
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    I would help. I have abnormal strength for a female. I don't see why women should get offended if a man offers help. I think if they offer to help it's being polite I would either accept or politely decline. I went to home depot for patio stones and they offered to help and I said no because I felt I needed the exercise of loading them all into my piece of crap soccer mom van. I don't understand why they would be so mean to you. People are just *kitten* holes sometimes. **** em you'll never see them again they are just misreable people who need to feel better about their own insecurities by looking down on others.
  • Fieldsy
    Fieldsy Posts: 1,105 Member
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    Of course, unless someone at the store was already there. It wouldnt be just for a woman, it could be for anyone.
  • i_love_vinegar
    i_love_vinegar Posts: 2,092 Member
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    You could have just asked one of the people at the store to help. I probably wouldn't offer to help unless you looked like you were in pain or something...and only in broad daylight with lots of people around. o-o Even then I might just ask if you would like me to call one of the employees over to help. Liability + the fact I'm the size of a child so chances are weaker than most the population...
  • lovediets
    lovediets Posts: 375 Member
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    How rude! I can't believe not one person offered to help!
  • SueGremlin
    SueGremlin Posts: 1,066 Member
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    I think I look at this differently than most from reading this thread. Maybe it's because I am a NYer or something. But I bristle when I hear that it's wrong for a man not to help out a woman. That implies to me that everyone thinks women are not capable and will get the vapors if they have to work too hard.

    I realize that is probably not the case, and it puts me at risk for being called a feminazi.
  • stephzub
    stephzub Posts: 106 Member
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    I would help out anyone who looked like they could use a hand; especially the elderly. I frequent Home Depot in our town and load up on wood pellets, top soil, mulch, landscape blocks, etc. and no one ever offers to help me either. I don’t get offended by it and instead believe that “they” must think I look very capable. :-)
  • NotGoddess
    NotGoddess Posts: 1,198 Member
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    There's a difference between offering help to make the work easier for all, and implying that someone can't do something without help. Sometimes the person receiving the offer can't tell the difference (or assumes the worst) and gets offended. Some people (me) are wary of getting that reaction. Those doing the cat calls were just rude.

    If you were struggling, I would have offered-like you said it's a good chance to get an arm workout for the day. :)
    If you looked like you had it under control, had that 'get it done' look on your face, I would have thought 'good for her!', wondered what you were going to build, and gone on by.

    Thanks, you've made me think. Next time I see someone in that situation I'll offer help. More to help my character grow than anything else. If they refuse, fine. If not, it's a chance for me to pay forward all the kindness I've received in my life.
  • SueGremlin
    SueGremlin Posts: 1,066 Member
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    There's a difference between offering help to make the work easier for all, and implying that someone can't do something without help. Sometimes the person receiving the offer can't tell the difference (or assumes the worst) and gets offended. Some people (me) are wary of getting that reaction. Those doing the cat calls were just rude.

    If you were struggling, I would have offered-like you said it's a good chance to get an arm workout for the day. :)
    If you looked like you had it under control, had that 'get it done' look on your face, I would have thought 'good for her!', wondered what you were going to build, and gone on by.

    Thanks, you've made me think. Next time I see someone in that situation I'll offer help. More to help my character grow than anything else. If they refuse, fine. If not, it's a chance for me to pay forward all the kindness I've received in my life.
    Of course, you are absolutely right. I should unclench a bit. :flowerforyou:
  • Losing2Live69
    Losing2Live69 Posts: 743 Member
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    Did you ask for help or just continue loading it yourself as people walked by? People probably assumed that if someone from the store wasn't already helping you that you were fine just loading it on your own. Sometimes we have to make our needs known to this busy world. We have gotten used to impersonal contact with others with things like texting and Facebook. I really think society has become distant towards each other due to this. If you wanted help you should have just asked for it. Sometimes the obvious isn't so obvious to those around us. Don't take it personally that nobody stopped to ask if you needed help.

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