From Obese at 25 to Strong Being the New Skinny...
mogletdeluxe
Posts: 623 Member
Hi all,
So, where to start? I joined MFP as a friend of mine is also a member and me being curious, I decided to sneak a peek. And I definitely liked what I saw, so here I am.
My story begins in 2010, when I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (no great surprise to me; the hair loss, hair where it shouldn't be and general rubbish that accompanies it led me to that conclusion).
But never mind the odd hair that could be tweezed and the PMT, it was the fact that I was losing my hair had me all in a tizz. My long, blonde security blanket was coming out. The same hair I’d hidden behind for so many years; comforting myself that if it was a ‘fat day’ at least it would be a good hair day. And all of a sudden, I didn’t have that guarantee. So, if I was losing my best feature, a good idea to make my body a better one, yes?
Shallow? Perhaps. But it was the kick up the bum that I needed. Years – and I mean years; I’d been unhappy with my weight since I was six – of hating what I saw in the mirror; years of being shy; years of comparing myself with other girls. Years of being held back by my weight, years of going into the sea with a baggy t-shirt on, years of being ‘the fat one’ out of my friends. Years of knowing that men were talking to me purely to kill time to get to my slimmer, sexier galpal.
So I joined a gym. All 16 stone (224lb) of me. And believe me, it was bloody hard. I would watch the depressingly slow calorie counter on the treadmill, look at my sweaty tomato face in the mirror, nearly weep as I munched on yet ANOTHER salad as my natural slim friends tucked into steaming bowls of pasta.
Oh yes, food. The longest loving relationship I’ve ever had, and she’s a cruel mistress. I bloody love food. Doughy sandwiches, creamy pastas, hunking great stews topped with a flirtatiously crumbly pastry lid (yeah, can’t you tell it’s lunchtime as I write this?). But I had to have a trial separation from my foodie love, my toxic relationship with it. So, out with the frankly ludicrous portions and binge-eating habit (something I’d done since I was 11), and in with the sensible ‘in moderation’ eating plan. Hard, indeed. But Keep Calm and Carry On and all that.
But, but! The needle on the scale started moving left for what might have been the first time in my life, nasty stomach upsets aside. My clothes started feeling looser. I admit, the “have you lost weight?” comments came depressingly slowly (about two stone/28lbs in), but once they did, I felt like I was walking on air.
And, more importantly, I started to stop feeling like I was going to collapse if I ran for a bus. I could see my biceps. I started attending zumba (and, truth me told, last night a Beto saved my life) and throwing kettlebells around and found my niche: the evasive Enjoyable Exercise.
Long story short, I’ve lost the best part of six stone (84lb). I’m not quite on target yet (10 stone/140lb), but I’m in the healthy BMI.
Oh yeah, that reminds me. Healthy. I’ll freely admit that when I started hauling my backside to the gym and putting down the fork, I was doing it to be thin. Something I’d not been since I emerged triumphant from my mother. I wanted to be a ‘thin girl’, someone people envied. Pretty awful, isn’t it? What a negative aim.
Now? I’m the same weight that I was when I was 10 years old (more through me being a fat 10-year-old than a thin 27-year-old!). But the number on the scale, or indeed on the label of my dress, is hardly relevant compared to my health.
I care more about the number on the kettlebell I’m lifting; about my resting heart rate. I feel capable and resilient: Strong Is The New Skinny and all that. I have given myself a deadline of the end of this year to qualify as a zumba instructor, and 2010 Me is choking on her lunch laughing.
Part of my reason for joining MFP was for support. Sounds sort of daft when you think the lion’s share is done now, I know. But that’s not the point. Yes, I’ve still got a little bit to go (and we all know the last bit is the hardest to shift). But it’s the mental shift that I’m finding it trickiest to deal with.
In essence, my brain hasn’t caught up with my body. My hand still reaches for the wrong size of clothes; I still sometimes find myself defaulting to ‘Shy Fat Girl’ in social circumstances. I am quite obsessive about the changes (say hello, fellow control freaks!); going from having no control over food to sometimes being a little mindful. Exercising hard six days a week.
Now, those latter two points are much more positive than the habits I had previously. But I have to keep them in check, largely because neither extreme is healthy.
The really hard part is done. I can look back on that and tick the box. But now, the unknown of maintenance, control, and a lifetime change?
Yeah, colour me nervous!
*looks at word count* Blimey, that was a bit of an epic, wasn’t it? If I see a lot of TL;DR responses I wouldn’t blame you…but thank you in advance for reading, and I’m looking forward to exploring this site
Natalie x
So, where to start? I joined MFP as a friend of mine is also a member and me being curious, I decided to sneak a peek. And I definitely liked what I saw, so here I am.
My story begins in 2010, when I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (no great surprise to me; the hair loss, hair where it shouldn't be and general rubbish that accompanies it led me to that conclusion).
But never mind the odd hair that could be tweezed and the PMT, it was the fact that I was losing my hair had me all in a tizz. My long, blonde security blanket was coming out. The same hair I’d hidden behind for so many years; comforting myself that if it was a ‘fat day’ at least it would be a good hair day. And all of a sudden, I didn’t have that guarantee. So, if I was losing my best feature, a good idea to make my body a better one, yes?
Shallow? Perhaps. But it was the kick up the bum that I needed. Years – and I mean years; I’d been unhappy with my weight since I was six – of hating what I saw in the mirror; years of being shy; years of comparing myself with other girls. Years of being held back by my weight, years of going into the sea with a baggy t-shirt on, years of being ‘the fat one’ out of my friends. Years of knowing that men were talking to me purely to kill time to get to my slimmer, sexier galpal.
So I joined a gym. All 16 stone (224lb) of me. And believe me, it was bloody hard. I would watch the depressingly slow calorie counter on the treadmill, look at my sweaty tomato face in the mirror, nearly weep as I munched on yet ANOTHER salad as my natural slim friends tucked into steaming bowls of pasta.
Oh yes, food. The longest loving relationship I’ve ever had, and she’s a cruel mistress. I bloody love food. Doughy sandwiches, creamy pastas, hunking great stews topped with a flirtatiously crumbly pastry lid (yeah, can’t you tell it’s lunchtime as I write this?). But I had to have a trial separation from my foodie love, my toxic relationship with it. So, out with the frankly ludicrous portions and binge-eating habit (something I’d done since I was 11), and in with the sensible ‘in moderation’ eating plan. Hard, indeed. But Keep Calm and Carry On and all that.
But, but! The needle on the scale started moving left for what might have been the first time in my life, nasty stomach upsets aside. My clothes started feeling looser. I admit, the “have you lost weight?” comments came depressingly slowly (about two stone/28lbs in), but once they did, I felt like I was walking on air.
And, more importantly, I started to stop feeling like I was going to collapse if I ran for a bus. I could see my biceps. I started attending zumba (and, truth me told, last night a Beto saved my life) and throwing kettlebells around and found my niche: the evasive Enjoyable Exercise.
Long story short, I’ve lost the best part of six stone (84lb). I’m not quite on target yet (10 stone/140lb), but I’m in the healthy BMI.
Oh yeah, that reminds me. Healthy. I’ll freely admit that when I started hauling my backside to the gym and putting down the fork, I was doing it to be thin. Something I’d not been since I emerged triumphant from my mother. I wanted to be a ‘thin girl’, someone people envied. Pretty awful, isn’t it? What a negative aim.
Now? I’m the same weight that I was when I was 10 years old (more through me being a fat 10-year-old than a thin 27-year-old!). But the number on the scale, or indeed on the label of my dress, is hardly relevant compared to my health.
I care more about the number on the kettlebell I’m lifting; about my resting heart rate. I feel capable and resilient: Strong Is The New Skinny and all that. I have given myself a deadline of the end of this year to qualify as a zumba instructor, and 2010 Me is choking on her lunch laughing.
Part of my reason for joining MFP was for support. Sounds sort of daft when you think the lion’s share is done now, I know. But that’s not the point. Yes, I’ve still got a little bit to go (and we all know the last bit is the hardest to shift). But it’s the mental shift that I’m finding it trickiest to deal with.
In essence, my brain hasn’t caught up with my body. My hand still reaches for the wrong size of clothes; I still sometimes find myself defaulting to ‘Shy Fat Girl’ in social circumstances. I am quite obsessive about the changes (say hello, fellow control freaks!); going from having no control over food to sometimes being a little mindful. Exercising hard six days a week.
Now, those latter two points are much more positive than the habits I had previously. But I have to keep them in check, largely because neither extreme is healthy.
The really hard part is done. I can look back on that and tick the box. But now, the unknown of maintenance, control, and a lifetime change?
Yeah, colour me nervous!
*looks at word count* Blimey, that was a bit of an epic, wasn’t it? If I see a lot of TL;DR responses I wouldn’t blame you…but thank you in advance for reading, and I’m looking forward to exploring this site
Natalie x
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Replies
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What an amazing story you have to tell! I'm so happy for (read: jealous of) you. You'll be an awesome fitness instructor because you'll know where people have been, where they can go, and what it takes.0
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What an amazing story you have to tell! I'm so happy for (read: jealous of) you. You'll be an awesome fitness instructor because you'll know where people have been, where they can go, and what it takes.
Hi Sally,
Thank you for taking the time to reply! Honestly, no need to be jealous, and it all boils down to your second point - I know how bloody hard it is! But at the same time, it can be done - I never thought I'd be sitting here telling people that significant weight loss is possible as the voice of experience, but I maintain that if a once-miserable food addict like me can do it, anyone can! x0 -
That was really inspiring! I hope everyone here takes the time to read. Thank you for sharing.0
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Well if you don't make it as an instructor (which you will) you can surely make it as a novelist. I enjoyed reading your post, your writing is very personal and sincere. Good work, keep it up.0
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That was really inspiring! I hope everyone here takes the time to read. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you ever so much - what a lovely thing to say. I do hope my story does give people a bit of inspiration, a bit of 'if she can do it, so can I' - at least I then know my years of being unhappy won't be in vain!
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Well if you don't make it as an instructor (which you will) you can surely make it as a novelist. I enjoyed reading your post, your writing is very personal and sincere. Good work, keep it up.
Aw, thank you - I'm very glad you enjoyed reading it. Your kind words are really heartening; much appreciated.0 -
Well done! You have done an amazing job, and describe your journey in great detail. I wish I had managed to follow through with all my diets a few years ago so I could have spent the remainder of my 20's slim, but never mind, I'm going to use you as inspiration and make sure I don't end my 30's in the same way.
I keep telling myself that 'slow and steady wins the race' and 1lb a week is 4stone in a year, but you do forget how sloooow it is to take the weight off compared with how quick you put it on! Its nice to hear from someone who didn't lose it all in 3 months as I don't find that a realistic aspiration.
Anyway, am rambling now - well done again, and keep going. Gotta love Zumba & Kettlebells! :-)0 -
How do you find the strength to keep it up? I find my will power wavering much too often.
You are my inspiration, hope you don't mind 0 -
Wonderful post!0
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Thank you so much for sharing your journey....it's not always easy....but seeing how far you've come is amazing!! Keep up your amazing lifestyle change!!!!0
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Congratulations! Strong and healthy really is the new skinny. That's what I'm aiming for. Though I'm halfway to my goal (a similar loss to yours) I feel like I'm still just trying to get things settled and organized and finding that optimal routine. I've not been tracking too well, trying to make that more of a priority, and exercising lots more, but now I"m way hungrier! And don't always reach for the right foods. Sigh.
Congratulations on following through to get where you are. And thank you for posting in such detail. You make it all seem so possible and you're inspiring me (and obviously others) to continue on and persevere!
Thanks!0 -
Very inspiring story. Congrats on your success!!0
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truly inspiring story thanks for sharing :happy:0
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Thank you for sharing! I can relate to a lot of what was said and it truly inspires me to keep chugging along.0
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Reading your message was literally like a reading my life. Only I'm a boy so clearly sans some ailments, and I'm 26, but seriously, like hearing myself talk! Well done on your success, I hope to write a similar one myself one day. Don't be a stranger.0
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Wicked read and wicked story :flowerforyou:
I have to admit I carried on reading initially because my friend has been diagnosed with PCOS and is REALLY struggling to lose weight in order to get better treatment, but I really related to your change in attitude towards going to the gym too:drinker: Strange as that seems to me, fit and healthy has become more of a priority to me. Can't wait until I am posting fantastic results like yours. Massive well done!
p.s. How tall are you by the way?!
Kate x0 -
Wow Natalie that really was truly inspiring, and just goes to show that if you have enough determination and are strong-willed then you literally can do anything! Congratulations on losing the weight and becoming healthy! I myself want to become healthy, so your story really is a true inspiration! Hope you reach your goal! Good luck! Neha x0
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Thanks so much for sharing! Your story is inspiring and AWESOME! I
the way you write - highly entertaining! Enjoy the site and all the best in making the changes a permanent, healthy part of your life! 0 -
And all of a sudden, I didn’t have that guarantee. So, if I was losing my best feature, a good idea to make my body a better one, yes?
Shallow? Perhaps.
...
Oh yeah, that reminds me. Healthy. I’ll freely admit that when I started hauling my backside to the gym and putting down the fork, I was doing it to be thin. Something I’d not been since I emerged triumphant from my mother. I wanted to be a ‘thin girl’, someone people envied. Pretty awful, isn’t it? What a negative aim.
Don't kick yourself over that. It's completely normal to want to look attractive, and if that motivation helps you get healthy at the same time, more power to you!0 -
Holy crap good for you girl. You just became my inspiration! You should post then and now photos. Loved to see it!
You're amazing. Keep going!!!0 -
I ♥ your writing style! Congrats on such an amazing journey and your continued success!!!0
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you are truly amazing !! are just the person I need to keep me pressing through the finish line.0
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Truly inspiring!! What an amazing story! I love the way you write, and I know what you mean about your mind having to catch up to your body...it's a strange thing, right? I wish you all the best as you continue your journey! And YES, Strong IS the new Skinny!! Fight on, fighter!! :flowerforyou:0
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Like I said to you those months ago, you are so inspirational. I have watched you, with awe, go from that exceedingly shy girl to a less exceedingly shy girl...<joke>. But seriously you have become a role model for all your friends wanting to make a life change in their health and I thank you for being you xxx0
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What a amazing story!!! You've done a great job!! Congrats on your hard work!!!0
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Like I said to you those months ago, you are so inspirational. I have watched you, with awe, go from that exceedingly shy girl to a less exceedingly shy girl...<joke>. But seriously you have become a role model for all your friends wanting to make a life change in their health and I thank you for being you xxx
This is amazing! What support you have!
Well done on your journey to finding happiness. Just seen your before and after pics and you are amazing. I also agree I was hooked on your writing style. Thank you for sharing xx0 -
inspirational, please add me x0
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you have a way with words, I smiled as I read your story, gaped at your before and after photos on the other thread and now I'm sitting here thinking "I could do that. It really is a possibility!"
I've battled the bingeing (and finally won! 2011), conquered the cross trainer in 3 months (and have a beetroot face to match your tomato one!) and am currently wishing my body would just quit messing around and tell me how many calories it would accept in exchange for giving up its fat! You've refreshed my motivation. I really could get down from 203 to 140 couldn't I?
Wishing you lots of luck in hitting your target, not that you'll need luck, you've got it all under control
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Well done! You have done an amazing job, and describe your journey in great detail. I wish I had managed to follow through with all my diets a few years ago so I could have spent the remainder of my 20's slim, but never mind, I'm going to use you as inspiration and make sure I don't end my 30's in the same way.
I keep telling myself that 'slow and steady wins the race' and 1lb a week is 4stone in a year, but you do forget how sloooow it is to take the weight off compared with how quick you put it on! Its nice to hear from someone who didn't lose it all in 3 months as I don't find that a realistic aspiration.
Anyway, am rambling now - well done again, and keep going. Gotta love Zumba & Kettlebells! :-)
Hi there,
You're absolutely right - I gave myself 2 years to do it in, and that means September 2012. After all, it took over a decade to put on...so it's not going away overnight!
All the best xxx0 -
How do you find the strength to keep it up? I find my will power wavering much too often.
You are my inspiration, hope you don't mind
Goodness me, I don't mind at all
Strength to keep it up? Rest assured I fell off the wagon sometimes. I'd have period pains, be tired, gagging for a Chinese takeaway...and I'd succumb. That hot date with the gym - I stood it up. But I'd pick myself up, dust myself off, and get back on the wagon. Previously, a blowout like that would be license to blowout for a whole week. But I learnt to reign it in - that was one of the biggest differences.
There were days when the end was never in sight, believe me. But I started thinking about my health - what the loss of fat and gain of fitness was doing for my mad ovaries; for my fertility; for my bones. That helped keep it all in perspective, even on the darkest days!
x0
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