Sexytime accidents

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Replies

  • ScottyNoHotty
    ScottyNoHotty Posts: 1,957 Member
    My girlfriend at the time dislocated her hip....try explaining that to the E.R.
  • annalee_1
    annalee_1 Posts: 235 Member
    I have a broken bed story with a cat and a candle then fire and a guy. I might not want o tell that one. Kitty was okay thank god! Bahahaha
  • Rosa1213
    Rosa1213 Posts: 456 Member
    There is a shelf above my bed, and I'm a tall girl, so it's happened a few times that when I'm sitting on top of my gentleman friend, I smack my forehead onto this shelf. Hard.
    He always laughs at me, but we continue our activities :)
  • annalee_1
    annalee_1 Posts: 235 Member
    My girlfriend at the time dislocated her hip....try explaining that to the E.R.

    Trying to picture the work up to this......daaaaaammmmnnnn! Woo hoo!
  • JessiC1984
    JessiC1984 Posts: 97 Member
    When your hubby is a cook, remind him to wash his hands many, many, many ...... times after working with hot peppers at work.

    And once when we were dating my hubby ripped himself while we were going at it. Blood EVERYWHERE. Me, him, the sheets, the bathroom...
  • Natx83
    Natx83 Posts: 1,298 Member
    Im totally not even going there, only my best friends know this one.. Its one guys would all cringe in pain if they knew. Im sure someone else has done it before.. but it doesnt need to be brought up lol :glasses:

    you can't tease us. SPILL IT!

    Yeah!Come on tell us!

    Lol... I really cant.. It happened with someone on MFP, we werent on there at the time but we both happen to be now.. No longer together but the pain was all mine lol.
  • stevewynjones
    stevewynjones Posts: 1,052 Member
    Tied the wife to the bed once..and my mother came up the stairs...forgot I'd give her a key.....

    Threw aquilt over the bad....made some lame excuse about the mess...and then had to go shopping with her....

    ..2 hours later when I got back the mood had changed slightly..as had thee colour of the sheets....

    i changed my mind. SOOOO not marrying you. unless i can be the one doing the tying...

    only if you use tape..so it really hurts when you rip it off!
  • Natx83
    Natx83 Posts: 1,298 Member
    When your hubby is a cook, remind him to wash his hand many, many, many ...... times after working with hot peppers at work.

    And once when we were dating my hubby ripped himself while we were going at it. Blood EVERYWHERE. Me, him, the sheets, the bathroom...

    ^^ this.. the part where the foreskin joins the tip.. cant remember the name for it... Tore the **** out of that.

    So much pain... sooooo sooooo much blood.

    Looked like someone tipped bottles of red wine all over the bed.

    I still cringe when I think about it. Lubrication is the key :mad:
  • CastleMadeOfSand
    CastleMadeOfSand Posts: 432 Member
    Should have known better one time, than to start some sexytime in a room that smelled like vicks vapor rub.

    All I'm saying.
  • doorki
    doorki Posts: 2,576 Member
    Wedding night, too drunk to really function, wife down to just her veil, runs...leaps onto the bed....bounces and slams head into bed side table and then hits the floor.....end wedding night sexy time.
  • ThePhoenixRose
    ThePhoenixRose Posts: 1,978 Member
    Should have known better one time, than to start some sexytime in a room that smelled like vicks vapor rub.

    All I'm saying.

    oooh no... :frown:
  • JessiC1984
    JessiC1984 Posts: 97 Member
    When your hubby is a cook, remind him to wash his hand many, many, many ...... times after working with hot peppers at work.

    And once when we were dating my hubby ripped himself while we were going at it. Blood EVERYWHERE. Me, him, the sheets, the bathroom...

    ^^ this.. the part where the foreskin joins the tip.. cant remember the name for it... Tore the **** out of that.

    So much pain... sooooo sooooo much blood.

    Looked like someone tipped bottles of red wine all over the bed.

    I still cringe when I think about it. Lubrication is the key :mad:


    Yup, I knew that you share his pain. It was like a murder scene.
    Though I still don't know how it happened, there was no shortage of lube. Over-zealous I guess
  • sktllmdrhmz
    sktllmdrhmz Posts: 1,799 Member
    its only what a 2 ft drop i still think she overreacted lol

    Yeah, they have a tendency to do that.
  • Natx83
    Natx83 Posts: 1,298 Member
    When your hubby is a cook, remind him to wash his hand many, many, many ...... times after working with hot peppers at work.

    And once when we were dating my hubby ripped himself while we were going at it. Blood EVERYWHERE. Me, him, the sheets, the bathroom...

    ^^ this.. the part where the foreskin joins the tip.. cant remember the name for it... Tore the **** out of that.

    So much pain... sooooo sooooo much blood.

    Looked like someone tipped bottles of red wine all over the bed.

    I still cringe when I think about it. Lubrication is the key :mad:


    Yup, I knew that you share his pain. It was like a murder scene.
    Though I still don't know how it happened, there was no shortage of lube. Over-zealous I guess

    Yeah, i think you just have to mega unlucky, right amount friction and Boom. Its gone..

    I can still feel the pain now lol.
  • annalee_1
    annalee_1 Posts: 235 Member
    its only what a 2 ft drop i still think she overreacted lol

    Yeah, they have a tendency to do that.

    Yeah what's 2 ft........ owwweeeee.
  • MrsHutcho9988
    MrsHutcho9988 Posts: 99
    my husband and I literally went through a wall once. He was holding me against the wall when we were house-sitting a friends house (they were doing construction and it was just drywall not an actual wall) So yeah got fiberglass all over my *kitten* and the landing wasn't very graceful. Haven't attempted wall fun since but we still laugh about it!!
  • LReneeWalker
    LReneeWalker Posts: 213 Member
    Other than the occasional fart and breaking the head board of the wall at a motel....
  • cynthiaj777
    cynthiaj777 Posts: 787 Member
    he said, "Oops, wrong hole!" I said, "Noooo, right hole." :drinker:

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • hapoo100
    hapoo100 Posts: 926 Member
    [/quote]

    I still cringe when I think about it. Lubrication is the key :mad:
    [/quote]

    dont mean to be rude, try foreplay
  • Gary1977
    Gary1977 Posts: 804 Member
    We were in a certain numbered position and my son walked in, he was 12 at the time. Yep.

    A similar situation happend to me back in December. Let's say I was enjoying a certain calorie free munch session & her 7 year old son walked in. The little *kitten* had picked the lock & screamed "Mom is having sex". Let's just say I lost it & it took awhile to get it back.:blushing: :grumble:
  • cynthiaj777
    cynthiaj777 Posts: 787 Member
    32 yrs ago, she said she was dry, only thing I could find was Ben Gay!!! Oh, if you put water on it down there, you can end up with a serious burn. We were both ok, and the peeps in the ER were all laughing up a storm..... Not funny at all.

    Forgot to mention, her dad threatened to shoot me if I came by his house again!

    O.M.G.
  • AlayshaJ
    AlayshaJ Posts: 703 Member
    My husband and I have broken MANY, MANY, things... Like a ridiculous amount of things. anything in a bathroom that you can break, we have broken it. Hahaha. Its terrible, and expensive. Hahaha. I can't remember any specifics, but I know he has elbowed me in the face multiple times and I punched him in the face one time. One time we were doing it outside on a trampoline and I guess he moved his feet as the same time that I was moving and we slightly bounced, knocking our heads together. LOL


    (Before I got married) I had a bf named mark and we were having sex in the woods and i was on a piece of wood. SOMEHOW he fell forward and OVER me and face planted into some mud! Hahahah One time we were also having sex behind a walmart and while he was uhhh, ya know, he leaned his head back, hitting the back of his head on a metal pole really hard. He almost cried. Me being the as*hole I am, I laughed SO hard both of these times.
  • spade117
    spade117 Posts: 2,466 Member
    lol @ all the " we were drunk" replies.
  • Sascha
    Sascha Posts: 204
    Hey folks- this topic has currently been locked due to its content. The guideline we would like you all to follow is:


    No Profane, Vulgar, or Sexually Explicit Language

    No explicit, sexual, insulting or vulgar content including expletives, or sexual innuendo, will be permitted. This includes the use of non-alphabetical characters to approximate expletives or other objectionable language. Publicly visible text on MyFitnessPal should be work-place friendly.

    We reserve the right to moderate a topic based on the intent of the sexual material it contains. Topics intended to titillate will be removed. Topics with medical or clinical themes related to sex or sexual health may be permitted, at our discretion.

    Thanks for understanding,
    Julie
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