When the women's locker room becomes daycare

kimber0607

I think that's weird....if my child was 10/12 I can see her being unsupervised for a short period of time perhaps doing homework but maybe in a library or school setting
not a gym woman's locker room...weird and not right..sorry!
I feel for the other single parents out there, but some other arrangements should be made

Kim

Heaven71

So, I'm curious about your opinion on this...

I go to the gym every day after work. That's about 5 times a week. Each day I go, there's a young girl, she's about 10-12 years old, if I had to guess...who comes to the gym with her mom and sits in the girls locker room while her mother works out. She usually hangs around the carpeted stretching area and does homework, listens to music, watches tv, etc. This girl is in there every time I'm at the gym. She's there when I arrive and still there 1.5-2 hrs later when I leave. Now, the gym I go to doesn't offer child care and the women's locker room is definitely, not by any means, luxurious. It's as standard as they come. Usually gets smelly and dank. Loud. Basically, it's not anywhere I would want to spend my weekday evenings.

Let me get to the point here; I feel sorry for the girl. It makes me sad that she has to spend her evenings there waiting for her mom to workout in an atmosphere that's loud, stinky, humid, etc. I know I should probably just stay out of it and my opinions on the matter aren't fuller developed other than I just feel plain sympathy for the girl. I don't know what the circumstances are, whether she's been asked to workout with her mother, whether she actually likes it, etc.

Tell me what you think...
I'm especially curious to hear from those of you with children

What do you think about this?
Do you only go to gyms that offer child care?
How do you get your workouts in when you're responsible for a child?

This is why I bought everything i needed to work out at home. I wanted to go so many times but didn;t want her to have to sit thnere the whole time and I would never ask her to sit in the locker room.

Apa93

I know that in England it's illegal to leave children under the age of 14 at home on their own...

Um...no, it's not. I was left home alone from the age of 10 (admittedly, I was a mature child.) My sister at about the same age. There isn't actually a law here which specifies what age a child can be left home alone. It's up to the parents to decide.

BAMFMeredith

While of course there are nasty people out there of both sexes, the fact is, there are many many many fewer female pedophiles, especially when it comes to non-related children. The safest place is going to be the women's changing room. Presumably the gym has membership and knows who is in etc, and changing rooms always have people in. Danger isn't the problem. Boredom could be.

At 12 a child is old enough to sit by themselves for a few hours. What I would question is why a parent would want to exercise over spending time with their child, but as people have pointed out, perhaps they work there and have no choice.

I take my son to the gym with me after work every day, he plays for an hour- hour and a half while I work out, then we go home, fix dinner, read books, etc. This is the time I have to exercise, and he enjoys playing in our gym's child center. He even asks me if we can go on days that I usually don't!

I'm not necessarily choosing exercising over spending quality time with my child, it's just that's the time I've got for it, and it's something essential to my life, so it has to be done. We make up for it on the weekends for sure

kimber0607

While of course there are nasty people out there of both sexes, the fact is, there are many many many fewer female pedophiles, especially when it comes to non-related children. The safest place is going to be the women's changing room. Presumably the gym has membership and knows who is in etc, and changing rooms always have people in. Danger isn't the problem. Boredom could be.

At 12 a child is old enough to sit by themselves for a few hours. What I would question is why a parent would want to exercise over spending time with their child, but as people have pointed out, perhaps they work there and have no choice.

I take my son to the gym with me after work every day, he plays for an hour- hour and a half while I work out, then we go home, fix dinner, read books, etc. This is the time I have to exercise, and he enjoys playing in our gym's child center. He even asks me if we can go on days that I usually don't!

I'm not necessarily choosing exercising over spending quality time with my child, it's just that's the time I've got for it, and it's something essential to my life, so it has to be done. We make up for it on the weekends for sure

I agree
I dont go anymore..but my son loved the daycare at the gym and would meet up with his friends
I have no issue with that, but no matter what age he was..I wouldnt leave him in the bathroom/locker room while I worked out

Beastette

While I may feel sorry for her, I'd also wonder what she'd be doing otherwise. Watching TV, doing homework, and doing the same stuff at home while her mom gets less fit and healthy each day? I find it difficult to judge when I don't know the full story, and since there doesn't appear to be imminent danger, I can't call it homie.

My mom used to leave me in a study carrel at a university library several nights a week with a bag of food and books. Everyone in the library knew me and my family, and my mom knew that if she told me to stay put that I would piss my pants before I got up. I was younger than this girl at the time. My mom was earning a graduate degree that would increase her salary and improve our lives. If she'd shown that dedication to her physical health, I wouldn't have minded one bit.

I thought it was fun. I learned a lot about dedication, delayed gratification, and making sacrifices for the greater good. You'd be surprised how many times I've applied that lesson. Maybe you should talk to the mom. It may be that she could use a little of your concern.

Post script: I also had quite a bit of fun destroying some library make out sessions for some poor students. I thought of that often when I eventually attended that same school years later. CHECK ALL THE CARRELS FIRST.

andivaclavicek

12 year olds usually have more than an hour of homework a night, if she is able to get her work done there and doesnt mind the smelly nature of locker room (kids are much less likley to notice that sort of thing) then i wouldnt jump to conclusions about her and her mom. instead of being home but not interacting at all while the daughter does her homework, they both get what they need, if she is a single mom or if dad works evening shifts then this could be the only opportunity for mom to exercise

people shouldnt jump to conclusions about what kind of flexibility the mom has to choose another gym be it due to the location of other gym options and/or financial contraints (her work may have a deal with this gym, you have no idea what went in to the decision making process that resulted in what you see).

she is also teaching her daughter several subtle but important lessons here
1.value your health
2. make the most of what you have available to you
3. make a plan and stick to it
4. set long term goals and work hard for them.

these are all important lessons she is likely modeling for her daughter, whether they realize it or not.

doesnt sound ideal on the surface but there are many factors i can easily imagine that make that scenario seem perfectly fine or at the worst, the best they could/better than the alternative.

^This

BruteSquad

I have read all of the replies, and there are a lot of things to consider. However, I have not heard a single person consider how other people that use the gym might feel? Obviously the Op feels sorry for her. But paying for a gym membership, where there is no child care, I would expect there to be no children.

I know people have to make tough choices, and it isn't ever picture perfect. But I just find a child sitting in a locker room to be off putting.

rml_16

3. The joys of sitting in a women's locker room for 2 hours at a stretch. I mean what kid doesn't enjoy that?

I think I was deprived as a child. I never go to experience the wonderfulness of that experience. And my kid, too. I think she may qualify as abused. ;-)

Pebbles536

When I was 12 I would of been PISSED if my mother made me go to the day care center. Maybe she doesn't want to stay at home alone and likes going to the gym with mom. My 10 year old asks me all the time if she can go, I don't take her cause she would just sit in the daycare center and watch movies which she can do at home with dad.

ishallnotwant

Does her mother not realize that pedophiles come in all shapes, sizes, and GENDERS???

I kinda had that thought too. Then again, I watch a LOT of Law & Order SVU so sometimes I think I'm a little paranoid.

My friend's daughter was molested by a woman...it can definitely happen, and this is a very dangerous situation for a kid to be in.

I don't even watch Law and Order and this was the first thought that came to my mind-the only problem I have with the whole situation is that is just doesn't seem safe for the child.

CuteAndCurvy83

The girl is 12, to me 12 is old enough to spend some time alone,at home or at the gym, it all comes down to maturity level. Who knows maybe mom used to keep her home and she got into to much trouble so now shes got to come to the gym with her.

cabaray

I must be in the minority. My oldest daughter is 12 and very mature. I still wouldn't leave her home alone. I'm not letting her stay home alone until she's 14.

KelseyDawn84

I would feel somewhat bad for the girl as well, BUT, it is possible the girl prefers being at the gym to where ever she would be otherwise. As a child and teen, I often preferred to be with my mother, even in boring, mildly unpleasant circumstances.

Excellent point