The gym that causes me marriage stress!!

IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym

Well this story didn't end up having the happiest of endings. By that I mean Zumba went under at the gym for not enough people :-D

I bet that made you real sad... :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

AdrianasMombieED

lol, sorry, but that is hilarious.
But being distracted while lifting is so dangerous. Hopefully you work something out.
I think I'd feel the same exact way as you.
I'm actually trying to convince my fiance to do insanity with me since neither of us would be caught dead doing zumba either lol.

bethfartman

I don't find this story funny at all. Your wife sounds, at the least, annoying and quite possibly needs some serious counseling. She shouldn't be crying because you don't want to do something and she should really know that you wouldn't do that in the first place; you guys are married, right? I know what brand and style of peanut butter my bf likes, I certainly know he would not do Zumba with me.
I find it kind of offensive people just chalk this up to being a crazy emotional woman, most women aren't like that at all.

EirePetal

My husband and I lift together. We both end up challenging each other to go harder. It's pretty cool because we are able to watch eachother's form and make sure our spouse stays safe. It is also nice to have a bit of a rest between sets as we take turns.

d2footballJRC

I don't find this story funny at all. Your wife sounds, at the least, annoying and quite possibly needs some serious counseling. She shouldn't be crying because you don't want to do something and she should really know that you wouldn't do that in the first place; you guys are married, right? I know what brand and style of peanut butter my bf likes, I certainly know he would not do Zumba with me.
I find it kind of offensive people just chalk this up to being a crazy emotional woman, most women aren't like that at all.

Just for the record this happened back in April 2012..

I actually went to a zumba class and died out laughing and ended up really pissing her off. I couldn't stop laughing at the super bright dayglo outfits.. WHO WEARS THAT STUFF.

fannyfrost

Well can't really blame it on the gym. Just thought I'd share a fun (not really) experience I've had lately and a bit of a rant. My wife, god bless her soul, decided she wants to work out with me. I'm all cool with that and I said okay we can go to the gym the same time. So we go, and I notice right away she apparently thinks this is going to be like a date. She hops on the elliptical and starts chatting as I rack weights to get ready to start my program. I put on my headphones and I start lifting, next thing I know as I'm doing my dumbbell bench press she is standing over me angry. I finish my rep sit up and pull my head phones off. She told me I was ignoring her, and she asked me a question. I told her, look, sweetie, I'm glad you came to the gym with me but you can't be talking to me. I'm trying to lift and I don't like people talking to me while I lift. This is why I've never gone to the gym with you before. I just can't lift, talk, and concentrate at the same time. She got all huffy and decided to play mad at me.

Regardless next couple of days I go by myself and all is well. Then she comes home all excited and tells me, hey I'm going to the gym with you today.. I know right away this is going to be some combo of hell, a heavy dose of scorned woman, and that my workout is going to be absolute crap. We get there and as I'm racking weights she tells me.. YOU DON"T HAVE TO DO THAT. I signed us up for ZUMBA! They said you can work on your strength that way... .Well to put it mildly I flipped sh**. I will not...EVER..be caught doing ZUMBA. Not because I think it doesn't work, but because A. I don't want to B. I can't dance, and C. I like to pick things up and put them down. I tell her to go ahead I'm not doing it.

She instead goes and cries in the locker room, so I had to quit my workout to go and talk to her. (Totally awesome to have to explain to a chick, "My wife is crying, can you go get her to bring to me") She tells me, I just want to work out with you. I explained to her this is my thing, I don't mind doing some cardio together on off days but when I lift I don't want anyone or anything to be bothering me. I also told her that I lift to help with stress and this has caused me a lot more stress. She then explains to me, how fitness has always been her thing, and now that I've gotten into it she wants to make it our thing. (I held back all urge to explain to her I'd rather cut off my hand, be fat, and die young than having to workout with her or do Zumba.)

Now this may sound like I'm a horrible man, and who knows I might be! I don't mind do most things with my wife. I'll subject myself to shopping with her, I'll go see chick flicks, I love going to nice places to eat, I don't mind walks or going to the lake. Etc. Etc. I just do not under any circumstance want to workout with her. She doesn't seem to understand this and has been absolutely impossible to deal with the last week over this. At this point the saw and cutting my hands off is looking like a viable option!

Anyone else have to deal with this? Besides using hypnosis, heavy drugs, sneaking out to the gym, hiring someone to be a workout buddy for your wife so she'll leave you alone... any resolutions/ideas/suggestions?

I will tell you, honestly, I want my hubby to go to the gym, I will show him stuff, teach him the machines and lifting, but next time, go away this is my workout and this is my time. I really don't understand what her issue was, like you can't like different things at the gym? I would never ask my husband to come to Zumba. My daughter goes to Zumba with me and if we do other stuff too, she doesn't talk to me, we go our own way.

Hope things have improved for you.

casmithis

My husband and I are on totally opposite fitness pages. I admire the couples that could work out together and I'm a bit jealous. Like someone said, it's an extra hour together. BUT we do walk a lot together. We try to get out about 3 times a week. sometimes it's only 20 minutes if that's all we have. This is not so much for fitness (but I do log it) but to discuss our kids issues going on. It's a great time to chat about things you otherwise don't find the time to do.

Would she power walk with you?

So_Much_Fab

I know this is a zombie thread and all - but I suggest Prancersice for you two crazy kids to get your cardio on.

zanne54

I don't find this story funny at all. Your wife sounds, at the least, annoying and quite possibly needs some serious counseling. She shouldn't be crying because you don't want to do something and she should really know that you wouldn't do that in the first place; you guys are married, right? I know what brand and style of peanut butter my bf likes, I certainly know he would not do Zumba with me.
I find it kind of offensive people just chalk this up to being a crazy emotional woman, most women aren't like that at all.

Just for the record this happened back in April 2012..

I actually went to a zumba class and died out laughing and ended up really pissing her off. I couldn't stop laughing at the super bright dayglo outfits.. WHO WEARS THAT STUFF.

I would have been right there, laughing too. I fail at being a girl sometimes.

I hope you & your wife are getting along better now. It sounds like her expectations of "working out together" are/were completely whacked.

KatManx

I go to the gym with my husband! BUT he does his thing, i do mine as we have different goals etc.

Maybe you could workout a plan for her to follow and explain that you may have different goals to her but if you want to go to gym together, she needs to chill out and just get stuck into her own thing?? I dunno give it a try?

megalin9

I know this is a zombie thread and all - but I suggest Prancersice for you two crazy kids to get your cardio on.

Oh wow. She really DOES have a camel toe thing going on. Heh.

ms_erica

Dont think your a bad guy. She just wants to spend quality time with you thats all. Maybe talk to her when all is calm and agree on a day or two that you guys can workout together...or just go for a simple walk so you guys have downtime to talk.

Brutmar

No, you are not an awful guy....you sound like a very sweet husband who cares about his wife's feelings. Seriously, I think your wife needs to get a grip....I totally understand wanting to spend time together, but couples also need time to do their own thing....and your own thing is lifting. And I really think she needs to respect that, I don't think she is being fair to you. Like others have suggested, I would stand your ground on your time alone to lift, but suggest work outs you could do together on your off days, or doing something together after the work out (go to the gym together, separate to do your individual work outs, and then come back together at the end and go out for coffee, smoothie, whatever). Good luck!

I think you nailed it...couldn't have said it better myself!!

fit4lifeUcan2

When my husband and I were just dating he went with me to the gym and did his thing while I did mine. I couldn't imagine working out side by side together let alone zumba??? ugh!! NEVER!! The only exercise we do together is walking. And forget zumba! We do the horizontal mambo!

Your wife seriously wants to work out "with" you? Really???? I just can't picture doing that.

Granada88

This is my situation. Only, with me it's my running program. My wife wants to make working out a family affair. I take our son to the playground and I run and play on the equipment and make it a obsticle course, or a game. But, she wants me to substitute my runs for family walks and things like that.

I told her that I'd do whatever she wants to do...but, when we get home, I'm lacing up my shoes and go for my run...I don't care if it's 10 at night. She don't understand that we have two different mindsets as far as working out goes. She trains one way... I train another. Besides, I've been doing this L O N G before we ever got married. 14 years in, you'd think she'd have gotten used to it by now. lol...

laural007

This made my day! LOL

DymonNdaRgh40

Aww! She just wants to work out with you. But at the same time I get your side. I too don't want to be bothered when I'm lifting and consider time spent in the gym as my time to release some stress and get it done. Her workouts must be totally different for her not to be understanding of this, however you may have to comprise a little. Found out what she wants to work on as far as toning or strength training and perhaps you can help her get started with lifting weights. Maybe you can have one day where you guys lift together. Of course if cardio is her thing you can do that together on different days.

Hopefully, she'll come around.

Bigjuicyhog

Here is what you do. Go to the Zumba class. Proceed to do nothing but Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks the entire time. Make everyone around you uncomfortable. After you are done, tell your wife that is what it feels like when people bother you while lifting.

TiaXL

To funny! I felt the same way when I went with my husband. He was to busy wondering what I was doing and it drove him crazy that I could do dips and he couldn't.

My suggestion: On your off days have her lift weights with you and continuously tell her to focus. Ultimately, she will get it as the weights get heavier.

Good luck and thanks for the good story.

d2footballJRC

Here is what you do. Go to the Zumba class. Proceed to do nothing but Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks the entire time. Make everyone around you uncomfortable. After you are done, tell your wife that is what it feels like when people bother you while lifting.

Can I pick the smallest and meekest person and stare at them the whole time that I'm doing the roundhouse kicks?

doughnutwretch

So glad my man and I are both lifters. And it's okay to chat with each other between sets, or even during to push one another.

But really, going to Zumba and doing Chuck Norris round house kicks the whole time is also a good option. She won't ask you to go with her any more. Maybe pop on a pink tutu and follow Jim Carrey's lead.

ThriceBlessed

I workout at home, or take long hikes. Either way, I like to either:
a. concentrate on what I'm doing if I'm lifting or doing bodyweight moves
b. concentrate on what I'm doing if I'm doing in home cadio other than the elliptical or step
c. concentrate on the TV show I'm watching if I'm on the elliptical or step
d. concentrate on the solitude and beauty if I'm hiking.

My husband comes with to hike and its yak-yak-yak-yak. I'm sure every bird has flown away before we get within 1/4 mile of it with all the noise. Sometimes, I don't mind this, if I am more in the mood for company that day. But what if its a day when my stress level is through the roof and I just need time to think? How do you say, "No, sorry honey. I don't want you with me!"

Don't even get me started on what its like to be in the middle of P90x and turn to pick up the weight you need, only to find hubby is using it right then. Which would be fine if he was the one who bought P90x and a set of weights so he could work out, but I went out and got them for me....

Or to be doing Kenpo and almost kick him in the head because he is trying to do too in our tiny living room.

So far though I've said nothing. I guess peace in my marriage is more important to me than being able to work out exactly the way I wish.

At least I still go swim laps alone, he doesn't like to swim.

dbmata

Anyone else have to deal with this? Besides using hypnosis, heavy drugs, sneaking out to the gym, hiring someone to be a workout buddy for your wife so she'll leave you alone... any resolutions/ideas/suggestions?

Heh, and people ask me why I took up shooting as a hobby and then married a gun grabber.

d2footballJRC

So glad my man and I are both lifters. And it's okay to chat with each other between sets, or even during to push one another.

But really, going to Zumba and doing Chuck Norris round house kicks the whole time is also a good option. She won't ask you to go with her any more. Maybe pop on a pink tutu and follow Jim Carrey's lead.

What if I wear these while doing it?

lilRicki

jeez...if i had this type of drama in my relationship, i'm pretty sure I'd dump him. She's acting like a child (crying in the public bathroom? Really?) you picked her buddy.

ThriceBlessed

So glad my man and I are both lifters. And it's okay to chat with each other between sets, or even during to push one another.

But really, going to Zumba and doing Chuck Norris round house kicks the whole time is also a good option. She won't ask you to go with her any more. Maybe pop on a pink tutu and follow Jim Carrey's lead.

What if I wear these while doing it?

Yes, definitely.

doughnutwretch

So glad my man and I are both lifters. And it's okay to chat with each other between sets, or even during to push one another.

But really, going to Zumba and doing Chuck Norris round house kicks the whole time is also a good option. She won't ask you to go with her any more. Maybe pop on a pink tutu and follow Jim Carrey's lead.

What if I wear these while doing it?

Nope, you're going to have to go weirder if you want this to work.

doughnutwretch

So glad my man and I are both lifters. And it's okay to chat with each other between sets, or even during to push one another.

But really, going to Zumba and doing Chuck Norris round house kicks the whole time is also a good option. She won't ask you to go with her any more. Maybe pop on a pink tutu and follow Jim Carrey's lead.

What if I wear these while doing it?

Nope, you're going to have to go weirder if you want this to work.

<-- You can borrow my toilet paper dress if you'd like...

xX_Samantha_Xx

First of all, you can't work out "together." You can be in the same gym, but to make it like a date is a little ridiculous. Second, if the woman is expecting a chat fest or conversations at the gym, then you won't even be working out, effectively, anyway. And lastly, it doesn't mean the same thing to her if she's getting mad at you for actually working out at the gym.

On another note, my guy has always been a gym guy. I've gone with him a few times. I give him his space. I don't expect to hang out. You're only there to work out. The fact that I get to see him in action is fun, too, though.

Also, I've started crossfit in the last 4 months, and love it. He is now joining with me next week and I can't wait. And again, I don't expect to be all lovey-dovey at the damn gym. At crossfit you worry about your own workout anyway. I am just excited for him to enjoy it like I do.

The end.

d2footballJRC

So glad my man and I are both lifters. And it's okay to chat with each other between sets, or even during to push one another.

But really, going to Zumba and doing Chuck Norris round house kicks the whole time is also a good option. She won't ask you to go with her any more. Maybe pop on a pink tutu and follow Jim Carrey's lead.

What if I wear these while doing it?

Nope, you're going to have to go weirder if you want this to work.

<-- You can borrow my toilet paper dress if you'd like...

Zumba in a toilet paper dress sounds like I might get a ticket for exposure.