The gym that causes me marriage stress!!
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I feel your pain. Mine is backwards. I like to lift things up and put them down and HE likes the treadmill, elliptical, track, etc. We have come to an agreement. It goes sort of as follows (when he's home):
Arrive together.
Do our separate things.
Meet up & leave together while discussing the fun gym rat things we did.
SOME day I'll get him to pick things up and put them down with me, but I'm in no hurry for him to figure it out.
Good luck with her!!
(P.S. I TOTALLY get where you are coming from with the Zumba junk. I can't STAND IT!!)0 -
Baaah. If you do more of the stuff you both actually like doing together, as in not the laundry list of things I don't mind doing with my wife that you mentioned, she wont want to intrude on your gym time.
Sounds like you guys are suckin' on finding the true good quality time that satisfies and as a result your wife has become unstable enough to sign you up for Zumba.
Boys. You are not spoiling us by complaining through shopping or watching a movie that does not include ninjas (as much as I love ninjas).
I would figure out what the hell your wife needs to be satisfied with the time you spend together so that there's no need to be chums at the gym.0 -
Quit your gym and sign up at a black iron gym. Then she can never sign you up for Zumba again! >=D0
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I completely understand. I work out in my living room and my husband used to come in, lay on the couch and want to talk or sometimes critique. He is no longer allowed in the living room when I am exercising.0
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So what do you do when you have a turtle and a hare? We start out with cardio then he ditches me around the 20 minute mark to go lift things up and put them down. I'm getting ready for the Warrior Dash so I need all the running training I can get. By the time I get to weights he just sits there and pouts/whines that I'm taking forrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeevvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvveeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. I just glare. He's lucky I love him.0
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Both of you should read Men Are From Mars...... It did two major things that helped my relationship with my wife. She learned and came to appreciate that men need some alone time/man cave time. I learned and was relieved that when she vented about things at work or other stuff, she wasn't expecting me to solve the problem. I just needed to listen and be empathetic.
Another thought would be to do another activity like bike riding, hiking or something else that would be interesting to both and you can discover a new hobby to share and enjoy.
Good luck.0 -
Well can't really blame it on the gym. Just thought I'd share a fun (not really) experience I've had lately and a bit of a rant. My wife, god bless her soul, decided she wants to work out with me. I'm all cool with that and I said okay we can go to the gym the same time. So we go, and I notice right away she apparently thinks this is going to be like a date. She hops on the elliptical and starts chatting as I rack weights to get ready to start my program. I put on my headphones and I start lifting, next thing I know as I'm doing my dumbbell bench press she is standing over me angry. I finish my rep sit up and pull my head phones off. She told me I was ignoring her, and she asked me a question. I told her, look, sweetie, I'm glad you came to the gym with me but you can't be talking to me. I'm trying to lift and I don't like people talking to me while I lift. This is why I've never gone to the gym with you before. I just can't lift, talk, and concentrate at the same time. She got all huffy and decided to play mad at me.
Regardless next couple of days I go by myself and all is well. Then she comes home all excited and tells me, hey I'm going to the gym with you today.. I know right away this is going to be some combo of hell, a heavy dose of scorned woman, and that my workout is going to be absolute crap. We get there and as I'm racking weights she tells me.. YOU DON"T HAVE TO DO THAT. I signed us up for ZUMBA! They said you can work on your strength that way... .Well to put it mildly I flipped sh**. I will not...EVER..be caught doing ZUMBA. Not because I think it doesn't work, but because A. I don't want to B. I can't dance, and C. I like to pick things up and put them down. I tell her to go ahead I'm not doing it.
She instead goes and cries in the locker room, so I had to quit my workout to go and talk to her. (Totally awesome to have to explain to a chick, "My wife is crying, can you go get her to bring to me") She tells me, I just want to work out with you. I explained to her this is my thing, I don't mind doing some cardio together on off days but when I lift I don't want anyone or anything to be bothering me. I also told her that I lift to help with stress and this has caused me a lot more stress. She then explains to me, how fitness has always been her thing, and now that I've gotten into it she wants to make it our thing. (I held back all urge to explain to her I'd rather cut off my hand, be fat, and die young than having to workout with her or do Zumba.)
Now this may sound like I'm a horrible man, and who knows I might be! I don't mind do most things with my wife. I'll subject myself to shopping with her, I'll go see chick flicks, I love going to nice places to eat, I don't mind walks or going to the lake. Etc. Etc. I just do not under any circumstance want to workout with her. She doesn't seem to understand this and has been absolutely impossible to deal with the last week over this. At this point the saw and cutting my hands off is looking like a viable option!
Anyone else have to deal with this? Besides using hypnosis, heavy drugs, sneaking out to the gym, hiring someone to be a workout buddy for your wife so she'll leave you alone... any resolutions/ideas/suggestions?
Haven't read thru all 12 pages. I'm sure someone has already suggested teaching her to lift. Then she'd "get it", maybe y'all could enjoy it together, and she'd look (more) hot to boot!
But yeah, I know how that goes. I get frustrated when hubby wants to do a martial arts workout with me, too. Too much talking, too many questions! Questions are good, mind you, but there's a time for it!0 -
What is it about husbands not wanting to do Zumba?! I have been trying to get my hubby to go to Zumba with me for months, but I always get the same excuses: I have a project at work, I'm training for a Tri. I even try explaining that the Zumba instructors are smokin' hot, but no...nothing. Is there a switch in their mind that can be turned on?0
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lol Tell her.. yea I'll work out with you.. in the bed room!0
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It seems to me the gym is your thing and she wanted to do something that you liked. I don't see why she couldn't do zumba and you do your weights. You seem like a very nice guy cause you care about your wife's feelings. My husband won't exercise with me LOL!!!0
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What is it about husbands not wanting to do Zumba?! I have been trying to get my hubby to go to Zumba with me for months, but I always get the same excuses: I have a project at work, I'm training for a Tri. I even try explaining that the Zumba instructors are smokin' hot, but no...nothing. Is there a switch in their mind that can be turned on?
There is a switch. It's just behind the testicles, which have to be removed to reach it.0 -
What is it about husbands not wanting to do Zumba?! I have been trying to get my hubby to go to Zumba with me for months, but I always get the same excuses: I have a project at work, I'm training for a Tri. I even try explaining that the Zumba instructors are smokin' hot, but no...nothing. Is there a switch in their mind that can be turned on?
I would not find a man in Zumba class even remotely attractive or manly, I would look at him as though he had a skirt and heels on....ugh..... why ask your husband to do something so unattractive ??? Talk about taking away his masculinity !!0 -
What is it about husbands not wanting to do Zumba?! I have been trying to get my hubby to go to Zumba with me for months, but I always get the same excuses: I have a project at work, I'm training for a Tri. I even try explaining that the Zumba instructors are smokin' hot, but no...nothing. Is there a switch in their mind that can be turned on?
There is a switch. It's just behind the testicles, which have to be removed to reach it.
win0 -
Easy solution to this problem:
Remind your wife that the gym is not a kitchen, therefore she has no business there.
Most women need to be reminded where they stand. Women should be a cook in the kitchen, a maid in the living room and an acrobat in the bedroom. Being an acrobat requires a fit body, therefore women are allowed a certain amount of time out of the kitchen to go to the gym, if they don't use this time wisely, then get the eff back in the kitchen. Just saying.
Excuse me? :laugh: please tell me this misogynistic bullcrap is just irony?
thats not irony, its sarcasm. If u kept a dictionary in the kitchen you would know this....i kid, i kid
You better be
not to be pedantic (which totally means I'm about to be pedantic) but sarcasm is a type of irony...0 -
LMAO @ you dont need to lift, i signed us up for Zumba!!!!! That is classic!!!
I wont ever do Zumba either.
Ever walk into a closed gym room with 50 women all with different perfume on??? Instant Headache!!!!
Then walk in after class is over after 60mins??? Instant Puking!!! LOL0 -
This post made me laugh so much! Seriously, it's like an episode of a sitcom or something.
My boyfriend and I run together, but I think if we ever went to the gym together, we'd probably just wind up doing our own things anyway. There are lots of things I do that he doesn't and vice versa. I do yoga, he doesn't. He swims way more often that I do. It's not really an issue.
However, I remember bumping into a friend of mine at the gym once and I guess I must have come across as stand-offish or something because he told his girlfriend at the time (also a good friend of mine) that I didn't seem to be in the mood to talk. Now, I still smiled and said hello, but I don't really treat the gym as a social situation. I wasn't just going to stand in the middle of the room, chat for an hour and leave. I go in, put my headphones on, get my **** done and get out. Not only that, but I'm usually sweating, beet red and panting - not a great time to make conversation!0 -
If after the scenario you described occurred, she should have seen that there is a problem. If she didnt, and still doesnt, then she doesnt seem to be too in tune with your needs and the focus seems to be her. I am all for compromise on some points, but before you make progress, she needs to "get" why you feel the way you feel.0
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Easy solution to this problem:
Remind your wife that the gym is not a kitchen, therefore she has no business there.
Most women need to be reminded where they stand. Women should be a cook in the kitchen, a maid in the living room and an acrobat in the bedroom. Being an acrobat requires a fit body, therefore women are allowed a certain amount of time out of the kitchen to go to the gym, if they don't use this time wisely, then get the eff back in the kitchen. Just saying.
Excuse me? :laugh: please tell me this misogynistic bullcrap is just irony?
thats not irony, its sarcasm. If u kept a dictionary in the kitchen you would know this....i kid, i kid
You better be
not to be pedantic (which totally means I'm about to be pedantic) but sarcasm is a type of irony...
It's a type of irony, but it's not the same thing.
http://www.sarcasmsociety.com/sarcasm-and-irony.html
And
http://www.funtrivia.com/askft/Question41894.html0 -
so i read your story a few day ago and took a mental note because even though i wouldn't have went in the locker room i may have acted like your life and if my husband and explained the same way you did i probably would have been upset hearing it from him . all that for this yesterday my husband and i went to the gym together for the first time i got on a machine and he was standing by me and i said " you can go over there" so he proceeds and we are working in the same room but not talking not right next to each other but close. we get home pull in the driveway and i asked him " what did you think of our workout date?" he says to me well it was different than i thought it would be. i know i turned my head sideways like dogs do and said how so. he proceeds to tell me how he thought we were gonna stick together take turns maybe chat a bit count for each other. i laughed and i had to tell him about your story. normally i run my mouth and he doesn't know what im talking about and i get made because he doesn't listen who would have thought the one time i decide to hush he wanted me to talk lol you can't win and neither can i. i told him well next time i know. maybe if you live close we can meet up with you and your wife and those to can talk while we count lmao good luckWell can't really blame it on the gym. Just thought I'd share a fun (not really) experience I've had lately and a bit of a rant. My wife, god bless her soul, decided she wants to work out with me. I'm all cool with that and I said okay we can go to the gym the same time. So we go, and I notice right away she apparently thinks this is going to be like a date. She hops on the elliptical and starts chatting as I rack weights to get ready to start my program. I put on my headphones and I start lifting, next thing I know as I'm doing my dumbbell bench press she is standing over me angry. I finish my rep sit up and pull my head phones off. She told me I was ignoring her, and she asked me a question. I told her, look, sweetie, I'm glad you came to the gym with me but you can't be talking to me. I'm trying to lift and I don't like people talking to me while I lift. This is why I've never gone to the gym with you before. I just can't lift, talk, and concentrate at the same time. She got all huffy and decided to play mad at me.
Regardless next couple of days I go by myself and all is well. Then she comes home all excited and tells me, hey I'm going to the gym with you today.. I know right away this is going to be some combo of hell, a heavy dose of scorned woman, and that my workout is going to be absolute crap. We get there and as I'm racking weights she tells me.. YOU DON"T HAVE TO DO THAT. I signed us up for ZUMBA! They said you can work on your strength that way... .Well to put it mildly I flipped sh**. I will not...EVER..be caught doing ZUMBA. Not because I think it doesn't work, but because A. I don't want to B. I can't dance, and C. I like to pick things up and put them down. I tell her to go ahead I'm not doing it.
She instead goes and cries in the locker room, so I had to quit my workout to go and talk to her. (Totally awesome to have to explain to a chick, "My wife is crying, can you go get her to bring to me") She tells me, I just want to work out with you. I explained to her this is my thing, I don't mind doing some cardio together on off days but when I lift I don't want anyone or anything to be bothering me. I also told her that I lift to help with stress and this has caused me a lot more stress. She then explains to me, how fitness has always been her thing, and now that I've gotten into it she wants to make it our thing. (I held back all urge to explain to her I'd rather cut off my hand, be fat, and die young than having to workout with her or do Zumba.)
Now this may sound like I'm a horrible man, and who knows I might be! I don't mind do most things with my wife. I'll subject myself to shopping with her, I'll go see chick flicks, I love going to nice places to eat, I don't mind walks or going to the lake. Etc. Etc. I just do not under any circumstance want to workout with her. She doesn't seem to understand this and has been absolutely impossible to deal with the last week over this. At this point the saw and cutting my hands off is looking like a viable option!
Anyone else have to deal with this? Besides using hypnosis, heavy drugs, sneaking out to the gym, hiring someone to be a workout buddy for your wife so she'll leave you alone... any resolutions/ideas/suggestions?0 -
Easy solution to this problem:
Remind your wife that the gym is not a kitchen, therefore she has no business there.
Most women need to be reminded where they stand. Women should be a cook in the kitchen, a maid in the living room and an acrobat in the bedroom. Being an acrobat requires a fit body, therefore women are allowed a certain amount of time out of the kitchen to go to the gym, if they don't use this time wisely, then get the eff back in the kitchen. Just saying.
Excuse me? :laugh: please tell me this misogynistic bullcrap is just irony?
thats not irony, its sarcasm. If u kept a dictionary in the kitchen you would know this....i kid, i kid
You better be
not to be pedantic (which totally means I'm about to be pedantic) but sarcasm is a type of irony...
It's a type of irony, but it's not the same thing.
http://www.sarcasmsociety.com/sarcasm-and-irony.html
And
http://www.funtrivia.com/askft/Question41894.html
No, that's what I mean, it is a 'type' of irony. There are many types, but sarcasm uses irony in a specific way.
My point was that you can't say something isn't irony, but is sarcasm.
Anyway that is off topic and pointless since people never quite seem to agree on what counts as irony and what doesn't.0
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