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Question for the married/long-term relationship folks

245

Replies

  • RunnerBlonde808
    RunnerBlonde808 Posts: 257 Member
    Married 24 years this year, together 26.

    If you didnt' disagree on some things I would think there was something wrong. You are not going to agree 100% on everyone with someone. It's normal.

    My husband is all into politics, me not so much. : ) We don't see eye to eye on several things but we make it work.
  • squishycow7
    squishycow7 Posts: 820 Member
    Our way to end disagreements like that is to say, "You just like arguing with me!" Because that's the one argument you can't win. :tongue: And it's our cue that it's become pointless to argue.

    ahhh I love it.
  • FaugHorn
    FaugHorn Posts: 1,060 Member
    Trying to think of anything that my husband and I actively disagree on...maybe whose turn it is to do dishes?

    I dated someone once that we disagreed on everything (politics, theology, etc.) it was exhausting and boring

    *edited for typo
  • bangersnmash90
    bangersnmash90 Posts: 78 Member
    Tiffany loves to rearrange things.
    Rooms, cabinets, tool shed.. you name it.
    About every other month, it is like coming into a new house.
    It makes me CRAZY!!!!!!
    However, it is one of those things I have learned to live with.

    I am sure I do things that make her just as nuts.

    Oh.. we are celebrating our 13th anniverary this weekend.

    I do this! I rearrange things all the time, usually doesn't bother the OH but he is forever looking for things because I've moved them to a more sensible place haha!

    I also like to rearrange the fridge...
  • 2bFitNTrim
    2bFitNTrim Posts: 1,209 Member
    Married 29 years, and yes, there are topics which we agree to disagree & avoid to keep the peace. Every once in awhile though, a 3rd person may bring up one of these topics (innocently enough) & BOOM!, the rockets go off. Example, women in the military. He and I definitely do NOT see eye to eye on this one. But I love him anyway :heart: ( Even when he's wrong :bigsmile: )
  • lindseym1983
    lindseym1983 Posts: 209
    Been with husband 8 yrs married 6 1/2 and we argue about the two biggest things: money and parenting. We find a middle ground for the most part. On other smaller matters that we will not see eye to eye on sometimes you have to agree to disagree. But I do understand being right all the time and the man not getting that! :D lol
  • mandi2r
    mandi2r Posts: 228 Member
    It all sounds normal to me... I look at my grandparents. They agrue and grunt at each other all the time, and they never leave the room without saying how much they love the other.
    I've only been with my SO for 3 1/2 yrs and hope to make it as long as we live. My mother strongly believes I've met the one who I can't live without and when she agrees with me, then I know I made a good choice.
  • NicolettetheGreek
    NicolettetheGreek Posts: 246 Member
    Me-Nah, I would never even suggest wihholding sex..I like it too! I think you have to pick ur battles. Mot of hem, if you really think about it, aren't worh the effort. We don't fight, and rarely argue. We've been together 21+ years. Not all of them perfect, but it is a give/take relationship.

    Hope you work it out!

    Nicolette
  • pinuplove
    pinuplove Posts: 12,871 Member
    Oh man, my husband actually ENJOYS arguing. He calls it debating, but it is definitely arguing when you get two very competitive people going at it about something. I have come to realize now, though, that he doesn't always believe what he's saying. He just likes to play devil's advocate and get me riled up. I used to think this made him a bad person because he knows I hate to argue but now I just refuse to engage him. When he starts talking about things I know we will NEVER agree on, I either change the subject or leave the room. Also, like an above poster says, I used to say "You just like to argue" but his reply was always "Stop changing the subject." Not that I get frustrated or anything. :grumble:

    Ooh, that sounds just like mine! Especially politics :grumble: He knows I hate politics. And with it being an election year...yeah. :tongue: I think he should have been a lawyer. He loves arguing a point and proving he's right, lol. I'm much more live and let live.
  • vmbourg
    vmbourg Posts: 125 Member
    We are still babies and are only going on year 5 but So far he has learned that I some how was not granted the strength to close a lid tight. And I also can tidy and pick up things but always rearrange how I do it. He can not for the life of him keep his shoes in a closet. I have given him 2 closets to choose from. And I am a ray of sunshine in the morning and it takes him an hour to talk in he morning.... Oh and we both coincidently know everything so rants occur Often and are usually opinions not facts so it's just always a debate. I'm the ranter unfortunately about opiniOns. Lol we just accept the quirks bc I would be lieing if I said as much as it may aggrevate me , I'd miss it.
  • grizzlymaze
    grizzlymaze Posts: 185 Member
    oddly enough we gat along great. We only fight about two things. Money and my addiction. I love to spend money, and my addiction had nearly ruined our marriage. I won't go into details here but if you want to know more IM me. Perhaps you could help keep me accountable for my actions.
  • MrsORourke
    MrsORourke Posts: 315 Member
    Married 12 years, still argue about who loves who more. :smooched:
    There are other things too but sometimes you both have to just let go for the mere fact that it is counter productive.

    :heart: This! ^
  • pinuplove
    pinuplove Posts: 12,871 Member
    Me-Nah, I would never even suggest wihholding sex..I like it too! I think you have to pick ur battles. Mot of hem, if you really think about it, aren't worh the effort. We don't fight, and rarely argue. We've been together 21+ years. Not all of them perfect, but it is a give/take relationship.

    Hope you work it out!

    Nicolette

    Oh I'm not really withholding anything :wink: It's just my joking way of letting him know he's annoying me. I like it too!
  • TinkrBelz
    TinkrBelz Posts: 866 Member
    I have been married to my husband for almost 22 years. We do agree on most things. It is really weird to agree on so many things...like he is me but in sexy man form!! LOL! And yes, I think we may be annoying to other couples because we still hold hands and we are best friends...so go ahead and eye roll!! haha!

    But probably where we disagree is with the kids. He is more strict and I am more lenient. BUT, I think that is a good balance. Having only one way would be bad. We have really well behaved kids (even teens) so I have to think that this balance is perfect. Also, we are both conservative, but I might be a tad more libertarian than he is....but not by much.
  • auroranflash
    auroranflash Posts: 3,569 Member
    We usually get along and never argue about anything... but sometimes on Friday after we've had a few drinks, we'll start to talk about certain topics and we'll both become passionate about them and go off on tangents. Last week, it was about not eating carbs at night.... he should've known not to get me started on that one. :laugh:
  • Lissakaye81
    Lissakaye81 Posts: 224 Member
    Married 12 years, still argue about who loves who more. :smooched:
    There are other things too but sometimes you both have to just let go for the mere fact that it is counter productive.
    Haha me & my honey do this too lol
  • tabinmaine
    tabinmaine Posts: 965 Member
    Married for 12yrs this fall, we disagree a few times a month. We used to get into major heated arguements which ended up with us not talking to one another for a few days until one of us apologised.... I have noticed a trend lately though that we argue and then it's over.... no silent treatments anymore.... not sure why that is but I think it's because we both hate it and have too much on the go to not communicate daily....

    Just the other night... my daughter has this little cocker spaniel cross who is almost a year old, completely house trained but still does submissive urination about 1x/wk..... it's annoying yes but I LOVE this little dog....

    The dog pee'd once again, my hubby was mad...

    Him : " how long are we going to put up with this ? she is ruining the house"
    ME : "what do you expect me to do, get rid of her ? "
    Him: " well if you don't do something about it, you and that little dog can find a new place to live"
    Me: "ohhhh..so now you are kicking me out ? ( bahahahaha)
    Him: "well if you don't do something, I will!"
    Me: " you do something about it or to her and YOU will be the one finding a new place to live"


    That was the end of it, it's not going to change, she will continue urinating occasionally and he will just have to deal with it... LOL

    15 min later.... we were cuddling on the couch....
  • Im_NotPerfect
    Im_NotPerfect Posts: 2,181 Member
    Yep...his brother. I have NO respect for him at all, but they ARE brothers and my husband will help him whenever possible. I just let it go. I get the family thing and all that, but when you have someone who is in his early 40s and everyone babies the hell out of him, I just can't support it. Nothing is EVER his fault...which is total bull****. But whatever...I won't get into the whole thing...

    Oh and Politics. We are on the same side, but he likes to rant and rave about it and I just tune him out...

    We've been together for 12 years, married for 9 (10 in October).
  • JustJennie1
    JustJennie1 Posts: 3,749 Member
    We disagree on a lot of things but we agree to disagree if that makes sense.

    We've been married for 6 years, together for about 16 and have never had an argument. We have discussions and debates but in the end we realize that we have our own opinions on things and there really is no right or wrong. He knows when I don't agree with him because I purse my lips and get quiet. Sometimes he stirs the pot on subjects because he knows I'll get riled up and then he sits back and laughs.
  • Im_NotPerfect
    Im_NotPerfect Posts: 2,181 Member
    I have been married to my husband for almost 22 years. We do agree on most things. It is really weird to agree on so many things...like he is me but in sexy man form!! LOL! And yes, I think we may be annoying to other couples because we still hold hands and we are best friends...so go ahead and eye roll!! haha!

    But probably where we disagree is with the kids. He is more strict and I am more lenient. BUT, I think that is a good balance. Having only one way would be bad. We have really well behaved kids (even teens) so I have to think that this balance is perfect. Also, we are both conservative, but I might be a tad more libertarian than he is....but not by much.

    My hubby and I are are like this as well. Drives our friends nuts! LOL He is truly my best friend and it's sometimes scary how ofent we think the exact same way! LOL

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