Question for the married/long-term relationship folks

Colbyandsage

Yep, there are a few.

I always remember that I would never want to be married to myself, so it's all good!

djkymba

There's actually a great book - "The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work" by John Gottman & Nan Silver that explains that something like 80% (I forget the actual amount) of married couples arguments are about things that you essentially disagree on, and will never be resolved - so heading it off at the start is definitely the way to deal with it!

A-MEN, sister!

Together almost ten years now, and it took some time for me to get to the point of realizing that you can never change what another person thinks about certain things, and no matter how wrong they are (wink), you just have to let it be.

Vegetablearian

Me and my OH actually share a lot of opinions on stuff or we dont care either way on other stuff. So we never actually argue. Maybe we are odd

BaconMD

Yes, and it's horrible. My wife made fun of Eddie Vedder's voice. She only did that once, and she'll never do it again. I taught her a lesson (about appreciation of musicians and genius lyricists).

lour441

Money and housework, which I spend too much of and don't do enough of... those are our two biggies. Otherwise, we don't disagree on much, and we're together nearly 24 hours a day, so it's good that we agree on a lot or we wouldn't be going on 17 years together, 12 years married. LOL

Are you related to my wife??

Same 2 issues here. Been with my wife for 21 years.

avafrisbee

we tend to argue about strange things then somewhere in the middle of the argument we realize we're arguing the same side from different angles. Unless I am feeling really confrontational I just go along with what he says and believe whatever I want.

jamiesadler

Yes anything to do with politics and birth control for kids under 18. We just dont bring it up. BTW we have been together for 14 years.

karenjoy

Music, my Husband is a music freak, he feels very strongly about it, he tells me I have no taste, or rubbish taste if I don't like things he likes, that I don't know any thing about music and grew up in a backwater that has lost its soul....I don't care enough about music to argue with him and try not too, I just like what I like, and don't mind if he likes it or not, but he thinks that if I don't like something he likes its as if I am saying I hate his Mother...

We also disagree about how long he spends playing on the computer lol oh and also beer. I hate beer, for one good reason, I was raped as a child by a drunken sailor and the smell of beer sometimes reminds me of that, he loves beer. Its a sad state of affairs and sometimes we disagree about it, but other than that we get along OK :flowerforyou:

HelloSweetie4

There's always little disagreements. It's what keeps life interesting! :laugh:

mslack01

We disagree on everything but only because my hubby has made it a hobby to argue and refuses to ever give in or admit he's wrong. I just know he is ALWAYS wrong. I also think that HE thinks he is going to get makeup nooky everytime and it ain't happenin either.

AlynnP1005

My fiance and I have been together over 9 years, and there are lots of things we agree to disagree about....but we still argue about them sometimes when one of us feels like pushing the other ones buttons LOL Thankfully, we agree on the important topics, like kids, marriage, money, etc. so the rest of the stuff doesnt really matter much in the long run

happypath101

The damn t.v. He has SIX of them. The sweetie wall-mounted a flat screen by the clawfoot tub so I could watch while I soak. Sweet, sort of. But, the man has no idea. I'm feathering a girl-cave where NO t.v's will ever be allowed. Sigh! :O)

trekkietaz

i do that sometimes too and i need to learn to listen and shut up sometimes

iam_thatdude

Golden Rule of Marriage...you can choose to be right or choose to be happy.

mdsjmom98

Married 26 years, 27 this November. There are a couple things we disagree about, and we've been married long enough to know which pushes the other persons buttons, and it's just better not to talk about it. There's no point in belaboring something that neither side is going to budge on, so agree to disagree. One thing I've learned is to pick your battles, and compromise when possible.

k0nfyo0zed

I am a not-quite-typical Christian with a non religious background married to a pastor.

We disagree on many of the religious/political points you aren't supposed to discuss anyway. (On the political spectrum I'm pretty much purple, and he's pretty solidly red.)

grinch031

Politics and religion. We differ in a lot of ways there. I like having debates and my wife refuses to debate because she doesn't see the point of it since neither of us have any authority to fix anything (aside from voting for whatever politicians we agree with and keeping it to ourselves other than that). I think she has a good point, but the debate is fun for me.

She is devout Catholic and I am atheist, so we occasionally clash over religious views. Although she does a very good job of respecting my beliefs even though they are polar opposites.

Helenatrandom

Sixteen years married, and there are topics that either I need to squash in the bud, or realize that he's in a mood, and let him have his say and ask if he's done, then say "that's nice..." and walk away. Though sometimes he asks me questions and I have to say "I'll listen, but I won't participate in this discussion..." I don't like to argue, and when he is stressed at work and has something on his mind (not even work related), I don't want him to be stressed even more by not being able to express himself. But I don't want to escalate the tension with contrary opinions, and I'm not going to pretend to agree with him, either. Then I'll just be stressed and stew...

rebecky27

Money and housework, which I spend too much of and don't do enough of... those are our two biggies. Otherwise, we don't disagree on much, and we're together nearly 24 hours a day, so it's good that we agree on a lot or we wouldn't be going on 17 years together, 12 years married. LOL

This is us, minus the 24 hours a day part. 17 years together, but 14 years married. He spends more money than I do though! lol
We hardly ever argue, but those are the big ones. We just come to some sort of compromise, and if not, it is the agree to disagree route and move on. Not worth the energy or stress...

Expialidojess

The damn t.v. He has SIX of them. The sweetie wall-mounted a flat screen by the clawfoot tub so I could watch while I soak. Sweet, sort of. But, the man has no idea. I'm feathering a girl-cave where NO t.v's will ever be allowed. Sigh! :O)

Ha! My husband and I are the exact opposite. I have the tv on all the time, even though most of the time I'm not really watching it, because I can't stand the quiet. He doesn't really care about tv at all unless its football season.