Dealing with an abusive person...

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  • PLUMSGRL
    PLUMSGRL Posts: 1,134 Member
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    Report him to Human Resources, he's wrong on soooo many levels!
  • janalayn
    janalayn Posts: 510 Member
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    You were totally in the right and you shouldn't feel bad explaining it to perspective employers. For $7.25 an hour there is NO WAY I would train on my own time. Be proud that you stood up for yourself.
  • ZebraHead
    ZebraHead Posts: 15,207 Member
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    report him as abusive as your reason for 'not taking the job' then you have that in writing for future use. (job interviews, if it comes up).
  • tkcasta
    tkcasta Posts: 405 Member
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    Call the companies HR department and report him, then go online to the BBB and report them and then file a complain with OSHA because that kind of mental abuse is not acceptable.

    Edit: I think also you'll be able to get unemployment if you say that the reason you left was because of abuse.
  • nikki778
    nikki778 Posts: 148 Member
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    You did what was best for you & that is all that matters. Be proud of yourself knowing you were smart & lucky to see the signs before they escalated.

    He sounds like such a jerk & definitely needs to be reported.

    Keep your head up there will be other positions that will be more pleasant & perfect for you.
    Best of Luck.
    <3
  • New_Keeley
    New_Keeley Posts: 170 Member
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    Like the other posts you do not need to disclose it but if you feel you need to then I'd use the example given earlier (after training just wasn't for you). You have done nothing wrong!!

    You say you aren't strong but it took a lot of strength to make the call telling him you didn't want the job!!! I personally just wouldn't have turned up!
  • MyaPapaya75
    MyaPapaya75 Posts: 3,143 Member
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    If your one day of work does come up say it was an interview/training and you called to tell them you didnt want the job...but i highly doubt it will even show up....also I would call his corporate office and explan to them how hes treating potential employees..you never know u might not be the first ..perhaps hes been hogging all the hrs for himself LOL..and corporate is asking him to hire people...
  • DEEDLYNN
    DEEDLYNN Posts: 235 Member
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    Good for YOU!!!! I mean it. No one should take abuse....regardless who is dishing it out. Family, friend or employer. And, how could you go into work everyday, feel good about yourself and be working for someone you can't trust and who tries to belittle you. You can't. There will be other jobs.

    I want you to look in the mirror and tell yourself how proud you are of yourself for standing up....for yourself. I'm gonna let you in on a little secret....I've spent my entire life, ashamed, lacking confidence and self esteem, because I let other people dictate how I felt about myself. Recently, I slammed the brakes on that cycle. Now, I tell myself everyday how good I'm doing and how far I've come. I've had to let loose of a few people who were abusive. One...my 26 year old daughter.....she use to be my best friend....I live alone and she is my only child....but when I was recently verbally abused and disrespected by her....I politely told her not to contact me until she could treat me with a little respect. We are now back to talking, but my expectations is that there will be no disrespect or we will go back to square one.

    'Nuff about me. You have done a WONDERFUL thing here.
  • hazev74
    hazev74 Posts: 252 Member
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    you were right not to take thats job. something else will come up. what an asswipe!!!. id still report him to someone senior and say exactly what happened!
  • monty619
    monty619 Posts: 1,308 Member
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    so one altercation with a rude boss and it makes him an abusive person?
  • greeneyes191
    greeneyes191 Posts: 78 Member
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    The term CONSTRUCTIVE DISCHARGE immediatley comes to mind.
    I would truly report him to the HR department of the company. No harm, No foul.
  • droberts3311
    droberts3311 Posts: 87
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    First and most my heart goes out to you about your mom. You are still dealing with that I know. Lost my mom in Nov, 2012. My best friend!
    Then you was sooo right on. You do not deserve to be treated that way, I would report it and move on. I worked in a bad place and took it for as long as I could only saying things that I had to. To stand my ground without losing my job. Kept looking, found a great job!! So well worth the wait. You can do this, you are worth it!!
    Good luck :flowerforyou:
  • tlc12078
    tlc12078 Posts: 334 Member
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    I find this awful. As far as I know you are suppose to get paid training. I would definitely report him to his higher up. How rude and the foul language is not professional either. Get a hold of his supervisors and if all else fails, report him to someone. Get a hold of a lawyer adn explain to them what happened. They can direct you on who you can report this too.
  • Drudoo
    Drudoo Posts: 275 Member
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    Sounds to me that you did the right thing. There will be other jobs and bosses who are much kinder and helpful!
  • Katanthus
    Katanthus Posts: 348 Member
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    1. YOU are NOT in the wrong.
    2. He IS abusive, you are correct.
    3. IF it is ONLY a quarter, then WHY is HE arguing about it?
    4. No wonder he can't keep employees if those are the conditions to work in. They should be paying a whole LOT more to put up with him
    5. You didn't technically work there, so don't put it on your resume.
    6. Report him to the company Head Office, and tell them, you are reporting the company to BBB, and you are going to have words with a lawyer. (even if you can't afford a lawyer, you can get advice from some for free).

    I know that your depression history can make you feel like you are not worth anything, make you feel less than you are. Think of how far you have come, what you have overcome. Read the top part of your post, and see what you have come.

    Stay strong. I say "stay strong", because YOU ARE STRONG... it take a LOT to open up like you did, and a lot to walk away. That takes character and courage.

    All the best.
  • tlc12078
    tlc12078 Posts: 334 Member
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    so one altercation with a rude boss and it makes him an abusive person?


    To act like that, yes. That is is very unprofessional. And its not rude, it is abuse.
  • tlc12078
    tlc12078 Posts: 334 Member
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    1. YOU are NOT in the wrong.
    2. He IS abusive, you are correct.
    3. IF it is ONLY a quarter, then WHY is HE arguing about it?
    4. No wonder he can't keep employees if those are the conditions to work in. They should be paying a whole LOT more to put up with him
    5. You didn't technically work there, so don't put it on your resume.
    6. Report him to the company Head Office, and tell them, you are reporting the company to BBB, and you are going to have words with a lawyer. (even if you can't afford a lawyer, you can get advice from some for free).

    I know that your depression history can make you feel like you are not worth anything, make you feel less than you are. Think of how far you have come, what you have overcome. Read the top part of your post, and see what you have come.

    Stay strong. I say "stay strong", because YOU ARE STRONG... it take a LOT to open up like you did, and a lot to walk away. That takes character and courage.

    All the best.



    Exactly right here. :)
  • trinoc
    trinoc Posts: 73
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    I would call HR of the company (unless he owns it and he is HR...lol...because he took the paying issue so personally). If a future employer asks, just state that when you started the job you found out the terms were different than you agreed to when you took the job and they weren't acceptable. That's no big deal.
  • katysmelly
    katysmelly Posts: 380 Member
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    so one altercation with a rude boss and it makes him an abusive person?

    The behaviour described sounds like he's an abusive boss. It's not merely "rude" to scream and curse and call employees stupid. Combined with the bait-and-switch on the hourly pay, I think there are plenty of red flags for an abusive bully.
  • JadeRabbit08
    JadeRabbit08 Posts: 551 Member
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    Thank goodness you decided not to work there. Believe me if someone is like that in the honeymoon interview orientation phase its only going to get much worse.

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