Caught Red Handed

KickassAugust

My husband and I quit smoking 2 years ago this month.

For the last 3 weeks I've had my suspicions he was smoking again. So this morning (which happens to be his birthday) I come downstairs and he's not in the house at 7am so I went looking for him and sure enough if I didn't find him in the basement smoking.

Any thoughts?

UponThisRock

I think you should let him know how you feel about it everyday until he stops. Not directly, but by doing little things like letting out big sighs at random times and withholding sex.

He'll change in no time.

PapaverSomniferum

Men need their secret lives and naughty adventures. Most of them never grow out of that adolescent skipping-school and hiding-girlie-mags-under-the-bed stage. Smoking in the basement is unhealthy, sure, but it serves two purposes

it feeds a physical addiction

it gives that naughty little "breakiing the rules" thrill

If I caught my man doing something so silly, i'd have a blast "almost" catching him every time. He'd love the adrenaline rush.

ket_the_jet

Divorce him. He was obviously never right for you in the first place.

I don't smoke, but my roommate casually smokes at bars, etc. He always says, "Last cigarettes are the best. I've had a million of them."
-wtk

SwannySez

I would get a propane tank and just before leaving for a trip out of town, hide it in the basement and open the valve just enough to let it leak out slowly. It'll fill the basement and when he goes down there to light up it'll solve the problem. You have insurance, right?

Tiff587

I would talk to him, he might be stressed or this might be a one off slip.
He may have hid it from you so he didn't affect your 2 year success.

I'm kinda upfront so prob would have yelled busted! :laugh:

Well done you for quitting!

:flowerforyou:

Charliesuccess

Love him through it. He's yours no refunds, exchanges or returns. He's going to have his challenges and battles and your going to have yours. maybe he never quit smoking and your just finding out...who knows, but im sure that it wont change the reasons you fell in love with him, after all you were a smoker also. It will be ok. He's just going to have to learn to respect your lungs.

GasMasterFlash

Spray him with Windex.

tamsinwhitfield

It's harrder for some people than for others. "Divorce him. He was obviously never right for you in the first place." is probably the worst advice I have ever heard. I've stopped and started more times than I can count.

As far as actual practical advice goes - has he tried using an electric cigarette? As far as NRT aids go, I've found that to be far the best - since you are essentially smoking in every respect but setting something on fire, without the nifty cancer and emphysema.

squishycow7

Love him through it. He's yours no refunds, exchanges or returns. He's going to have his challenges and battles and your going to have yours. maybe he never quit smoking and your just finding out...who knows, but im sure that it wont change the reasons you fell in love with him, after all you were a smoker also. It will be ok. He's just going to have to learn to respect your lungs.

well put.

I mean, definitely discuss it, but I wouldn't say blow him up!! lol

infamousmk

Have you checked his browser history lately? I bet he's looking at internet porn too.

HauteP1nk

Be understanding. As a ex-smoker you should understand the pull to have the cigarette. That old habits are hard to break.

SwannySez

Spray him with Windex.

Is he Greek?

julieh1973

My advice: Be supportive (i.e. non judgemental) if he feels he can not come to you when the going gets tough he will just alienate you and do it behind your back. He probably feels ashamed allready you have probably been telling him how proud you are and he has let you and himself down. Make sure he knows just because he has fallen off the wagon does not mean he can not get back on it. I hope you don't allow this to break your will power. Good Luck, I know it is a hard addiction to break both mentally and physically.

callmeBAM

If he is smoking IN THE HOUSE, he probably wasn't really trying to hide it.

Maybe get him one of those smokeless fake cigarette thingys for his birthday! Say, if you wanna smoke, use this. I have a friend who has one and he loves it.

ElHombre23

Have you checked his browser history lately? I bet he's looking at internet porn too.

Even the most novice of browsers know to clear cache nowadays...LOL

horndave

I think you should let him know how you feel about it everyday until he stops. Not directly, but by doing little things like letting out big sighs at random times and withholding sex.

He'll change in no time.

I disagree with trying to manipulate him into changing. He will stop if an when he is ready, but have a talk with him.

Contrarian

Check his texts.

CountryBoy65

I would get a propane tank and just before leaving for a trip out of town, hide it in the basement and open the valve just enough to let it leak out slowly. It'll fill the basement and when he goes down there to light up it'll solve the problem. You have insurance, right?

Nice.

however, beware...I have been unfriended for making sarcastic posts not nearly this violent.....

GasMasterFlash

I wonder what other naughty activities he's keeping from you. Is he doing naughty things in the shower?

UponThisRock

Have you checked his browser history lately? I bet he's looking at internet porn too.

While you're at it, get an idea about what he's into and make things interesting