Caught Red Handed

aippolito1

I think you should let him know how you feel, but don't be angry. It's HIS body, after all. I knew a couple that used to smoke together and quit together. The guy started smoking behind her back and she FLIPPED sh|t which only made him want to smoke even more. DON'T be "that girl". No one likes that girl, especially not your husband. Be supportive of him quitting again... who knows, maybe he just wanted a birthday cig?

Lauren8239

Spray him with Windex.

That was so random it cracked me up!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :laugh:

phillbis

Thread title is misleading...

Snow__White

what is it that you do for him to walk on eggshells for you?

sjohnny

He's smoking in the house and you had to actually catch him in the act to know he was doing it?

Thomasm198

Follow him everywhere he goes to see what other secrets he is keeping.

GorillaNJ

Tell him to man up and stop acting like he is 14 hiding from his parents.

morganhccstudent724

Have you checked his browser history lately? I bet he's looking at internet porn too.

Midget Porn at that....

edmercdeleted

Divorce him. He was obviously never right for you in the first place.
-wtk

I truly hope this was in jest. Anyone who would suggest divorce so flippantly is not someone who should be giving advice.

Ed.

josavage

My guess is that he is hiding it from you because he is ashamed and he doesn't want his smoking to lead to you smoking again. So I wouldn't be hard on him about slipping. Talk to him about what made him start again and be supportive.

BaconMD

He's smoking in the house and you had to actually catch him in the act to know he was doing it?

That was my first reaction, too... lol

Tell him to man up and stop acting like he is 14 hiding from his parents.

Also, maybe start treating him like a man, rather than one of his parents.

kurenaikumo

Tell him not to smoke around you or in the house. Man, what a waste of money it is, too. (I quit last April)

DarkNebula84

It's harrder for some people than for others. "Divorce him. He was obviously never right for you in the first place." is probably the worst advice I have ever heard. I've stopped and started more times than I can count.

As far as actual practical advice goes - has he tried using an electric cigarette? As far as NRT aids go, I've found that to be far the best - since you are essentially smoking in every respect but setting something on fire, without the nifty cancer and emphysema.

I could NOT agree with this more!!
I quit 9 months ago and my fiance said he quit as well.....he didn't and I caught him. Why would you divorce him over something silly?! After talking to him he told me he lied about it because he felt weak and selfish for starting back up and didn't want me thinking the same things about him! We obviously had to talk about that lol because of course that was not how I felt. He has that electric cigarette thing and it works out well for him, maybe he could give that a try. Good luck too you and really, just have a talk with him and stay calm. :flowerforyou:

SofaKingRad

Sounds to me like he needs to learn to hide it better. I mean, really? Smoking in the house? What an amateur.

kennethmgreen

This is one of the funniest threads I've read in awhile. OP, I hope you have a good sense of humor.

I think it would feel pretty terrible to find out your partner that you made a commitment with was breaking that commitment and hiding it from you.

You asked for thoughts. Here are my thoughts about your story. Others have pointed out some important things. But a lot of what people are posting is focused on your husband. And you are the one that posted. There is one issue that I haven't seen mentioned, and I find the most troubling.

You suspected something for three weeks and waited to "catch" him in the act. You don't state whether you asked him during those three weeks if he was smoking, but based on your story, and based on the thread title, I'm going to assume you suspected for three weeks, became resentful/upset, then caught him in the act. I think that behavior pattern is a real problem. I think you may be angry with your husband about other things, and this was a very real, very concrete way to put him in a position of being wrong so you can feel justified in your anger.

That's just a guess based on what you posted. You didn't post much, and that's a lot of assumptions. I hope I'm wrong. Sorry I couldn't come up with something funny.

CarolinaGirlinVA

I think you should let him know how you feel about it everyday until he stops. Not directly, but by doing little things like letting out big sighs at random times and withholding sex.

He'll change in no time.

You mean that WORKS??? :noway:

SofaKingRad

Have you ever just asked him if he did it when you suspected? He may have been ashamed that he started again and was hiding it, but I bet if you asked him he would have told you the truth.

Thomasm198

Divorce him. He was obviously never right for you in the first place.
-wtk

I truly hope this was in jest. Anyone who would suggest divorce so flippantly is not someone who should be giving advice.

Ed.

Merrychrissmith

By all means have THE TALK with him. Most of us men really look forward to these! It lets us vent,emote and sometimes yes, even cry....Nothing is resolved, but we feel so much better just talking about it (make it a long talk 'cause it prolongs the fun!).
lighthearted sarcasm button off now...

Support him, it is an addiction....as you can attest. Good on you for quitting!

grinch031

Is your basement detached from the house? Otherwise I don't see how you wouldn't smell it in the main are of the house.