deal breaker
Replies
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It's funny, I had a lot of these, but they seem to be coming down. I've found out I will stay with a guy who makes me go further than I want to, hurts me physically, cheats on me...and that needs to change. I need to stand up for myself more.
Current deal breakers:
-Not manly enough!
-Big ego
-Prejudiced
Those two are are sort of at cross purposes lol.kids (although I'd make an exception if the guy was freaking amazing)
Any dad that was as amazing as you mentioned, would see this ten miles away. If the girl I'm with can't accept my kids as if they were her own...sorry, no dice. They are more important to me than I am, and if she can't put them before herself/ourselves...then I can't put her before me, and...we don't belong together. My kids aren't exceptions.
For me, dishonesty, too independant (independance is AWESOME! But there's definitely a limit), oh, and dishonesty.0 -
So I am curious...when it comes to picking your SO what are your deal breakers?
I have a couple....racist (they get the finger on the way out), extremely hairy (sorry it just is not my thing), or dumb (I am not looking for Einstein but intelligence is a turn on).
So what are yours??
My IQ is 139...will that work>?
For me...Men, Drug use, abusive, and non-forward thinking
Yup works for me!
So how you doin?
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I try to avoid guys that have enough kids to start a football team. Also, if you don't work, don't have a car, your own place or it is questionable about where you actually live.. NO DEAL0
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Deal breakers;
- Smoking
- Being fat
- Being too passive
- 4 inches of makeup, hair extensions, false eyelashes etc.
- Religious
Game makers;
- Intelligent
- Pretty0 -
Close-minded.
Afraid to be adventurous.
Homophobic.
Extremely religious. (They can have their faith, but don't force it onto me)
Obnoxious.
Doesn't think about the future.
No autonomy.
Smoking.
I could go on all day.0 -
Rude and judgmental or total no-go's0
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Any dad that was as amazing as you mentioned, would see this ten miles away. If the girl I'm with can't accept my kids as if they were her own...sorry, no dice. They are more important to me than I am, and if she can't put them before herself/ourselves...then I can't put her before me, and...we don't belong together. My kids aren't exceptions.
Very true. The first hint that whomever I'd date was against my kids, they would be gone. This is mainly because I value them being in my life more than I value anyone's company. And not to mention that they wouldn't deserve a woman who is in my life to be in theirs if she was against them.0 -
- not hard working
- too religious and/or republican
- narcissistic (i've got that one covered)0 -
Racist
Rude
Lives with parents
Chronically unemployed
Religious Right0 -
must have:
their own place (not at home with momma)
their own car and/or truck
a JOB
sense of humor
a brain
not use drugs
not be racist
not be homophobic
not beat kids, animals or SO's0 -
Well when I was looking for my SO, I was looking for someone with a little sense of humor but someone that knows when to be serious. Someone with a plan for their life, things that THEY would like accomplish. Someone who was compassionate and made me feel better when with them and someone I couldn't stop thinking of. Someone who got along with my family and vice versa (for the most part hehe). Someone who could look past my weight and height and see the true me.
My husband has all of those qualities. But I never thought I would fall in love with a long curly haired artist. That one still throws me for a loop. I graduate from law school in a few weeks so our careers could not be more opposite! He continues to surprise me with inner strength that I never realized was there and he tells me I help bring it out in him.
Oh, and my SO had to be taller!!!! I am 5'10 and I am sorry but I just couldn't deal with someone that wasn't at least near my height. Luckily my husband is an inch or so taller than me
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When I was single, this was my criteria (and fortunately, I found a man who met it all!):
-Must have a job/car and not live at home with his parents
-Must not be a smoker. I'll probably have every smoker on MFP calling me judgmental or whatever for that, but sorry, I can't stand it.
-Must be a Christian. Not that I'm like some Bible thumping zealot or anything, but in the grand scheme of life/marriage/kids, I want my partner's ideology to match mine.
-Must be open-minded. I know, I know. You're like "But you just said he has to be a Christian?" Yeah, we can be open-minded, too.
-Must want to get married some day.
-Must be ok with the fact that I have a child; must be willing to participate in my child's life and must also be able to accept that my son will always be the most important person in my life.
I found me a keeper 3 1/2 years ago
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No abusers (been there got the friggin tshirt)
No dishonest mofo's (cannot stand liars)
Must be tolerant and non-judgemental (live and let live)
Must be self sufficient (I already have 3 kids, don't need another one).
Must be respectful (of himself, his health, the environment, other people, different opininos, of me, of the law, etc.)0 -
Does not have a job.
Does not see their own children.
Lives with parents or possibly a room mate..
All dealbreakers.0 -
Bad teeth and bad hygiene are deal breakers
YES
If you asked me 6 years ago, I would have added a smoker...but then I met hubby...he was in the process of quitting and still struggles from time to time, but for the most part he has kicked the habit.
Now, if I didn't have DH, I think it would be a dealbreaker if you are a republican...I just can't get into that lol.0 -
must have:
their own place (not at home with momma)
their own car and/or truck
a JOB
sense of humor
a brain
not use drugs
not be racist
not be homophobic
not beat kids, animals or SO's
All of those things too. 0 -
No fat chicks.
Gotcha!0 -
Deal breakers would be no car (I've been chauffeur for too many dudes) and no job. And I'm 21, so at this point in my life younger guys are out. They're still obsessed with sneaking around and drinking underage trying to be badass.0
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SEXIST. No "oh, little woman" types.
Racist...obvs.
Hates politics.
Selfish.
Dumb.
Porn addicts.
Doesn't want to get married/have kids ever.0 -
Any dad that was as amazing as you mentioned, would see this ten miles away. If the girl I'm with can't accept my kids as if they were her own...sorry, no dice. They are more important to me than I am, and if she can't put them before herself/ourselves...then I can't put her before me, and...we don't belong together. My kids aren't exceptions.
Very true. The first hint that whomever I'd date was against my kids, they would be gone. This is mainly because I value them being in my life more than I value anyone's company. And not to mention that they wouldn't deserve a woman who is in my life to be in theirs if she was against them.
Exactly. If I have to worry about where they stand with her...then as I said, I can't put her before me for fear of where that will land my kids. In a relationship...part of who I am is to hold her up and support her emotionally, physically, mentally...100%. Again...that's not possible if I have to worry about where that places my kids. ANY children come first in a relationship (the majority of the time anyhow...you DO of course need your own time and space etc..that's just common sense), whether it be hers, or mine.0 -
SEXIST. No "oh, little woman" types.
Racist...obvs.
Hates politics.
Selfish.
Dumb.
Porn addicts.
Doesn't want to get married/have kids ever.
<~~~~I gues I am done! LOL0 -
She has to type in all caps at work.mine is all caps
WHAT? THAT IS ILLOGICAL0 -
Couple of mine:
-smoker
-heavy drinker
-big party goer
-trashy/poor behavior/unintelligent/etc.
-already has kids
-likes to argue/full of drama
-very unhealthy & poor eating habits0 -
MUST BE INTELLIGENT #1 QUALITY I LOOK FOR
RACCIST
RUDE
SMOKING/ DRUGS/ DRINKING ON A REGULAR BASIS
NO SENSE OF ADVENTURE
PRUDE OR TIMID IN THE BEDROOM (I LIKE MY BOYS DIRTY BEHIND CLOSED DOORS)
CHEAP, IF YOU CAN'T BUY ME COFFEE ON THE FIRST DATE WE SHOULDN'T BE DATING (P.S. I PAY FOR DATES TOO!)
JOBLESS
NEGATIVE ATTITUDE, I CAN'T BE YOUR ONLY SOURCE OF HAPPINESS. IT'S DRAINING. SERIOUSLY.
MUST HAVE A CAR (I WILL MEET HALFWAY AND SHARE DRIVE TIME ETC. I AM NOT A TAXI)
I THINK THATS IT
^^^ THIS ^^^0 -
No verbal or physical abuse, must have good hygien, has to like kids, no heavy drinking, no hard drugs, must have a job.
I want an upbeat person with a sense of humor. AND, because I'm on a fitness journey it would be great if they are active also. But they can't be a jerk about it.
I don't want them in my face if I happen to eat a candy bar or don't work out every day.
I think now that I'm getting older and have put up with a lot of crap I'm getting picky.
Oh, and they can't be racist or basically a negative person.0 -
Non-Judgemental.
Must either be working or going to school;not stagnant.
I don't mind if you live with your parents as long as you don't intend to stay there forever.
No drug addicts or alcoholics.
Not clingy.
Not jealous.
Must be Christian.
Be okay with not meeting my child for a long time if ever.
Must be passionate about something.
Must have friends and a social like outside of the romantic relationship.
Must be okay with my obsession with football.
Now I have it in writing exactly why I'm single. :huh:0 -
I have too many to list....
you'll have to wait 'til my book comes out.0 -
Not promiscuous and not a fundy! No substance abuse addictions or mental instability either. So glad I've been married for over 21 yrs! (and he never leaves the toilet lid up and neither does my son!)0
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Serioulsy, No real deal breakers other than Liars, cheaters, thieves and drug/Alcohol abusers....
Kids Great!0 -
Crazy Ex-Wives...0
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