embarressed of S.O.

squishycow7

at work this morning, a woman was talking to me about how she hid/ran away from someone she saw out in public because she didn't want this person to see how fat her boyfriend had become.

thoughts?
has anyone ever done this???
how would you feel if your girl/boyfriend told you they'd done that?

roachhaley

That's really terrible. They obviously have their priorities all wrong.

TylerJ76

That's really terrible. They obviously have their priorities all wrong.

This.

/thread

lynette111

I have never been embarrassed of how my husband's body looks although he does have a belly. My only problem is occasionally when we are planning on going out he doesn't put forth much effort to look nice. He gets upset with me when I say something when he comes out in dirty jeans or work clothes (he is blue collar which I'm perfectly fine with). He has nice clothes so no excuse not to look nice. To me that is just being lazy. I maybe shouldn't care what someone would think about him or us as a couple but I do. I always try to put my best foot forward and don't think there is anything wrong with that. I don't tell him what to wear but just please put forth a little effort and look nice and while I'm on it-shave!

harribo_mum

My fiance has been morbidly obese since we met and I would never be embarrassed to be with him. I love him for who he is not what he is and I'f anyone else has a problem with it its their problem not mine!

Your friend obviously has her priorities wrong.

ArroganceInStep

I'm pretty big, my fiancee has never done anything like that to me.

squishycow7

My fiance has been morbidly obese since we met and I would never be embarrassed to be with him. I love him for who he is not what he is and I'f anyone else has a problem with it its their problem not mine!

Your friend obviously has her priorities wrong.

right, agreed! & she was saying that he wasn't fat when they first met, so she's not "used" to him being bigger... not sure if that makes her worse or not, I don't know... she said even when she plans to introduce him to people she always prefaces with "he's fat, but he's really nice!"


edit cause I can't spell >.<

auticus

That may have been my ex wife. She told me constantly she was humiliated by my presence because she deserved better than a fat guy. Pretty much means that in a relationship, she values the social benefits of being with someone over anything else and thus wants the social points for someone that makes her girlfriends jealous of her.

LifeOnMars_

Terrible.

PepeGreggerton

I've been embarrassed by a previous SO. Not because of weight, because she couldn't spell lettuce.

vim_n_vigor

If they are that embarrassed of their S.O. then they don't love them. My S.O. does things that are embarrassing (to himself) all the time. I don't have to run and hide over it.

ArroganceInStep

right, agreed! & she was saying that he wasn't fat when they first met, so she's not "used" to him being bigger... not sure if that makes her worse or not, I don't know... she said even when she introduces him to people she always prefaces with "he's fat, but he's really nice!"


edit cause I can't spell >.<

Sounds like she's trying to come to terms with his weight gain. I can understand the sentiment, but airing dirty laundry like that in public is a pretty crummy thing to do.

roachhaley

That may have been my ex wife. She told me constantly she was humiliated by my presence because she deserved better than a fat guy. Pretty much means that in a relationship, she values the social benefits of being with someone over anything else and thus wants the social points for someone that makes her girlfriends jealous of her.

I bet you a hundred bucks she didn't deserve better than you

Shriffee

That's pathetic. I'd be embarrassed of her.

onedayillbeamilf

That's horrible. I know how the boyfriend feels. Poor guy.

squishycow7

That may have been my ex wife. She told me constantly she was humiliated by my presence because she deserved better than a fat guy. Pretty much means that in a relationship, she values the social benefits of being with someone over anything else and thus wants the social points for someone that makes her girlfriends jealous of her.

I bet you a hundred bucks she didn't deserve better than you

^ COMPLETELY AGREE

WhittRak

I like to show off my SO! He is handsome and has some muscles I am the flabby one, but he likes to show me of too. So no, never have I done this, or want it done to me.

susannamarie

right, agreed! & she was saying that he wasn't fat when they first met, so she's not "used" to him being bigger... not sure if that makes her worse or not, I don't know... she said even when she plans to introduce him to people she always prefaces with "he's fat, but he's really nice!"


edit cause I can't spell >.<

I wonder how she'd feel if her bf started introducing her as 'she's *****y, but she's really skinny!'

JPod279

I seriously wish my wife had said something to me when I had put on about 20-30 pounds instead of just watching me get bigger. Of course, I would have wanted it to be said in a nice way, but said.

shelbyfrootcake

I don't necessarily think the friend does have her priorities wrong. Is it nice? No, but that's not the point.

I love my partner but his total disregard for his health (which has caused him to gain 2 stone since we started seeing each other) is a source of personal embarassment for me, especially when I'm working to try to improve my health. Watching someone you care about let themselves go is hard.

ArroganceInStep

I seriously wish my wife had said something to me when I had put on about 20-30 pounds instead of just watching me get bigger. Of course, I would have wanted it to be said in a nice way, but said.

This. Whether you agree with the sentiment or not this really isn't about how she feels about his newfound weight gain, it's how she's going about dealing with it that's the problem.

ArroganceInStep

I don't necessarily think the friend does have her priorities wrong. Is it nice? No, but that's not the point.

I love my partner but his total disregard for his health (which has caused him to gain 2 stone since we started seeing each other) is a source of personal embarassment for me, especially when I'm working to try to improve my health. Watching someone you care about let themselves go is hard.

Yes but do you parade that around other people or do you try to work with him directly on it?

shelbyfrootcake

I seriously wish my wife had said something to me when I had put on about 20-30 pounds instead of just watching me get bigger. Of course, I would have wanted it to be said in a nice way, but said.

This.

People don't have to be nasty about weight gain, but surely it's better to say or do something than just leave it and watch the problem worsen.

ashreynolds09

I seriously wish my wife had said something to me when I had put on about 20-30 pounds instead of just watching me get bigger. Of course, I would have wanted it to be said in a nice way, but said.

This is an interesting take! When you put on the weight would you have accepted anything she would have said? My husband has put on 80+lbs since we had our 2 kids (now 5 and 4) I put on roughly 50 but have lost 30lbs of it. I have encouraged him to go to the gym, run, or just get active and he won't. It makes me sad but I would NEVER tell people, "he's fat but really nice"....or be ashamed to be around him.

It makes me sad how shallow some people can be.

therealkittymao

If someone loves you, they stand by you no matter what... and vice versa of course. So, yeah. That boyfriend should run away, and fast, because she sucks.

angieleighbyrd

That's harsh.

I have no other words.

shelbyfrootcake

I don't necessarily think the friend does have her priorities wrong. Is it nice? No, but that's not the point.

I love my partner but his total disregard for his health (which has caused him to gain 2 stone since we started seeing each other) is a source of personal embarassment for me, especially when I'm working to try to improve my health. Watching someone you care about let themselves go is hard.

Yes but do you parade that around other people or do you try to work with him directly on it?

Both, actually. I try with him and when that has no affect I'll publicly comment on it. I'm not going to stand there and slag him off in front of people but I won't shy away from an obvious fact either.

roachhaley

I don't necessarily think the friend does have her priorities wrong. Is it nice? No, but that's not the point.

I love my partner but his total disregard for his health (which has caused him to gain 2 stone since we started seeing each other) is a source of personal embarassment for me, especially when I'm working to try to improve my health. Watching someone you care about let themselves go is hard.

My boyfriend is not overweight but he has very bad eating habits. I found a good way to get him to eat healthier was to just talk about healthy food in general. I talk about what kind of food I'm eating all the time and now he's picked up looking at nutrition facts and eats a lot healthier.

This woman obviously didn't actually care about her SO and just wanted to look good.

Awkward30

I've been embarrassed by a previous SO. Not because of weight, because she couldn't spell lettuce.

Pick an easier word for your spelling test.

Whoever the poor SO is deserves better. Hopefully the person will see this soon.

angbieb

If they are that embarrassed of their S.O. then they don't love them. My S.O. does things that are embarrassing (to himself) all the time. I don't have to run and hide over it.

I agree ^
That is just sad...does her SO know she does this? I feel so bad for him, if he knows his self-esteem must be shattered. so sad.

staceyseeger

:frown: :frown: :frown: