embarressed of S.O.

suzikay12

Your co worker is a shallow beotch. I think I could write a mini novel on this subject, but I'll just leave it at that.

ladykaisa

My Finacee has 100lbs on me. He's a big boy, with a big belly. Like, pregnant woman belly.

I love every single inch of him.

*I'm* the one marrying him. Not my friends who may pass judgement. And besides, if they can't be happy for me and my happiness, *kitten* 'em. They ain't my real friend.

chrishgt4

I don't necessarily think the friend does have her priorities wrong. Is it nice? No, but that's not the point.

I love my partner but his total disregard for his health (which has caused him to gain 2 stone since we started seeing each other) is a source of personal embarassment for me, especially when I'm working to try to improve my health. Watching someone you care about let themselves go is hard.

Yes but do you parade that around other people or do you try to work with him directly on it?

In the OP, the woman in question didn't parade it around. She simply ducked out. There was no mention of her abusing the guy about it.

She followed up by saying her coworker would introduce her S.O. as 'fat...but really nice!'

To me that constitutes parading.

Ah fair enough, I disagree with that though, I still don't see that as parading. To me she is just concerned over what people will think and is giving them the info up front so they don't do shocked faces when he walks in etc.

angbieb

If she is embarrassed by him she shouldn't be with him.

However, this reminds me of an episode of $ex and the City. This guy is dating a woman who he doesnt' find physically attrative, but he is emotionally attracted and they have great $ex & chemistry together. That being said, he hides her away and doesn't let anyone know about her...because he is embarrassed by her. They eventually break up because it isn't healthy & she eventually realizes what he is doing...

Maybe she should try to get him to exercise and eat right?? If she really loves him and has a connection that is what she should do. Be open and communicate with him!

I love your post, it really made me laugh when you said this reminds me of an episode on Sex and the City...too funny. I love your ticker too! Where did you get it?

ArroganceInStep

Ah fair enough, I disagree with that though, I still don't see that as parading. To me she is just concerned over what people will think and is giving them the info up front so they don't do shocked faces when he walks in etc.

It's ok to be wrong .

To be serious though, I understand where you're coming from. I just think there are better ways to handle situations like that. My opinion, you're certainly entitled to your own.

MyTime1985

Throughout my marriage my weight has gone from 225 down to 106 and my husband was always proud of me and never said a word when I was heavy! But when I got down do 106, he was very concerned and wanted me to get help, sorry that is kind of beside the point. But I guess what I'm trying to say is that if I ever thought he was emabarassed by my weight it would have hurt me deeply.
To be loved unconditionally is what everyone deserves and I just feel so terrible for this guy...I hope you tell your co-worker she is truly a horrid, mean, b#@ch and I hope he ends up with someone that appreciates him and she ends up with someone that doesn't value her! Sorry, this just really upsets me!

Love this!

courtxoney

that's awful.

Krissy366

I don't necessarily think the friend does have her priorities wrong. Is it nice? No, but that's not the point.

I love my partner but his total disregard for his health (which has caused him to gain 2 stone since we started seeing each other) is a source of personal embarassment for me, especially when I'm working to try to improve my health. Watching someone you care about let themselves go is hard.

Yes but do you parade that around other people or do you try to work with him directly on it?

In the OP, the woman in question didn't parade it around. She simply ducked out. There was no mention of her abusing the guy about it.

She followed up by saying her coworker would introduce her S.O. as 'fat...but really nice!'

To me that constitutes parading.

Ah fair enough, I disagree with that though, I still don't see that as parading. To me she is just concerned over what people will think and is giving them the info up front so they don't do shocked faces when he walks in etc.

I have to say, if anyone ever warned me that someone else was fat so that I wouldn't have "shocked face" I'd be insulted on my own behalf as much as on behalf of the person I was being "warned" about. Adults learn to navigate the world without a googly eyed, "OH MY GOD - YOU'RE FAT!!" reaction to people who aren't thin. At least adults with class learn that. And anyone who thinks I couldn’t do that without prior warning is insulting me. I'd love to know what her friends actually think about her when she provides these disclaimers.

HorrorChix89

I've been embarrassed by my ex. Not cause of his weight (he knows he needs to get back to the gym), but because of other things. Like his need to make sexual jokes, black jokes, or just jokes period. Oh and his need to explain everything in detail as if he's writing a novel. No story needs that many words in it -_-

va_va_voom

I don't necessarily think the friend does have her priorities wrong. Is it nice? No, but that's not the point.

I love my partner but his total disregard for his health (which has caused him to gain 2 stone since we started seeing each other) is a source of personal embarassment for me, especially when I'm working to try to improve my health. Watching someone you care about let themselves go is hard.

Yes but do you parade that around other people or do you try to work with him directly on it?

In the OP, the woman in question didn't parade it around. She simply ducked out. There was no mention of her abusing the guy about it.

She followed up by saying her coworker would introduce her S.O. as 'fat...but really nice!'

To me that constitutes parading.

Ah fair enough, I disagree with that though, I still don't see that as parading. To me she is just concerned over what people will think and is giving them the info up front so they don't do shocked faces when he walks in etc.

I have to say, if anyone ever warned me that someone else was fat so that I wouldn't have "shocked face" I'd be insulted on my own behalf as much as on behalf of the person I was being "warned" about. Adults learn to navigate the world without a googly eyed, "OH MY GOD - YOU'RE FAT!!" reaction to people who aren't thin. At least adults with class learn that. And anyone who thinks I couldn’t do that without prior warning is insulting me. I'd love to know what her friends actually think about her when she provides these disclaimers.

I am in complete agreement with your posts on this thread.

TinkrBelz

Awww...that is sad!!! I am blessed that my DH NEVER felt that way about me. I gained 50-60 lbs per pregnancy (6 times) I did lose it every time, but I had a full year of outright scariness.....I am not one of those cute pretty pregnant ladies. I swear, my nose alone gains 10lbs!!

But, I have to say, having a hot husband did motivate me to lose the weight and look good for him. Not that he ever complained...I just wanted to look good for him!

Redapplecandie

the only time I get embarassed by my partner is when he wears old holey t-shirts from 10 years ago out in public. Going to the grocery store is one thing, but out to dinner, a family event etc.. No. I make him wear a button up shirt over the t-shirt, so we both get what we want.

Yes, he has packed on a few pounds over the last six years, but that's not why I fell in love with him. Plus, he carries it so well, that you don't even notice, unless you see an old Marine Corps pic and he is a completely different person.

va_va_voom

My weight has gone up and down over the last 3-ish years, thanks to two pregnancies. *I* have struggled with my weight gain and body changes way more than my husband has. He loves me just the way I am however I am. That doesn't mean he doesn't want me to be fit and healthy - he is thrilled that I am getting myself back into shape since our younger daughter was born in January. But, he is happier about it for ME b/c he knows it is improving my feelings about my body.

Likewise, he is naturally thin, but he does have a bit of a belly that comes and goes. He complains when he's heavier, but he is still just as sexy to me as he is when his belly is gone.

Our love is based on things way more important than our weight. But, we both do know and appreciate the value and benefits of being fit and healthy, so we do both want each other to be fit and healthy.

Tori_356

That's awful
My boyfriend loved me when I was fat and still loves me now, I loved him when we met and he has put on a little weight (not much) since we've been together and I still love him! Not embarrassed of him that I would hide from him ever!!! I want to be seen with him and him to be seen with me and both feel good about each other.
Thats so sad!!!

mommared53

That's terrible! Years ago I dated a man who was around 375 pounds or so (it wasn't muscle either) and I never once was embarrassed to be seen with him. The man was a hard worker and treated me like a queen but unfortunately the relationship didnt work out and I found out later he died from complications from diabetes.

fionaface

Everyone is probably going to have different feelings on this one, but here is my take. I've been married to my husband for 5.5 years and have known him for almost 7 years. In all that time we've been together, my husband is definitely at his heaviest right now (and by heaviest, I mean his BMI reading puts him in the obese range). In contrast, I am within ten pounds of the lightest I have weighed since we have known each other. I really don't think I look at him any differently from a standpoint of whether or not I find him physically attractive. If anything, he is the one who never wants to go out with us as a family or with just me. I don't know if that is more because he is embarrased of himself, of me, or he is just not comfortable in social situations. But, as for my opinion of him, I still think that right now he is a very handsome guy.

chasingbabes

reminds me of the following:

I hate people that say "he's a nice person once you get to know him, they might as well just say he's a d***head, but you'll get used to it"

galegetsthin

If this is true...... her SO deserves WAAAAAAAAAY better. That is a real B!tch move!!!!

HotCuppaJo

I've been embarrassed by a previous SO. Not because of weight, because she couldn't spell lettuce.

Lol

CountryBoy65

My SO is embarrassed about my weight. Also, about my "redneck ways", the jokes I tell, my haircut, the dirt on my jeans (after working all day in the yard), about tyhe fact that I am not social enough to her friends, about the fact that I am too social with some of her friends, that I drink beer at parties...that I do not drink at some parties, that I speak my mind, or because I don't speak my mind. The list goes on and on. I guess I am just a huge embarrassment regardless of what I do.

1shauna1

My SO is embarrassed about my weight. Also, about my "redneck ways", the jokes I tell, my haircut, the dirt on my jeans (after working all day in the yard), about tyhe fact that I am not social enough to her friends, about the fact that I am too social with some of her friends, that I drink beer at parties...that I do not drink at some parties, that I speak my mind, or because I don't speak my mind. The list goes on and on. I guess I am just a huge embarrassment regardless of what I do.

Hmm....and you are happy in this relationship??

I think the issue is bringing weight up in public. Introducing someone as "fat but nice" is totally not needed. Saying something privately to the person is a bit different, I think.

CountryBoy65

My SO is embarrassed about my weight. Also, about my "redneck ways", the jokes I tell, my haircut, the dirt on my jeans (after working all day in the yard), about tyhe fact that I am not social enough to her friends, about the fact that I am too social with some of her friends, that I drink beer at parties...that I do not drink at some parties, that I speak my mind, or because I don't speak my mind. The list goes on and on. I guess I am just a huge embarrassment regardless of what I do.

Hmm....and you are happy in this relationship??

I think the issue is bringing weight up in public. Introducing someone as "fat but nice" is totally not needed. Saying something privately to the person is a bit different, I think.

Stuck in this relationship is more the case. And there is always hope that tomorrow will be better.

peggymenard

Have you given thought that his obese problem may have something to do with how you feel about him? Their egos are quite a big part of their makeups. As a suggestion, try fixing him a healthy low cal meal twice a week and when he comes out with"what's this",
tell him "we are eating healthy today" and then look him straight in his face and say, "It's because I love you". Works for me.

Changing__Christina

I have ducked out when seeing an ex....but I was fat then and it was about me, not someone I was with! Now if I see an ex, I make it a point to go say hello. I enjoy letting them know how great I look!

EVEN IF I CAN'T SPELL LETICE, or LETTICE, or LETTACEor LETACE....how the F*c% can't you spell LETTUCE???

jaxbeck

That's awful, my hubs has put on some weight but I would never do that

ZugTheMegasaurus

That's breakup material right there. Hell, if my boyfriend did it to me, it might even be jumping-off-a-bridge material. One of the best parts about having an SO is having a constant source of support and backup!

scs143

I feel bad for her S.O.. Her S.O. should find someone better.

CountryBoy65

That's breakup material right there. Hell, if my boyfriend did it to me, it might even be jumping-off-a-bridge material. One of the best parts about having an SO is having a constant source of support and backup!

Yeah...I am doing this shit all wrong....

cynthiaj777

I was once embarrassed by a guy I was dating because he was too skinny. I actually saw people making comments behind his back that suggested they thought he was a coke head. Like I didn't know what it meant when they put one finger over one nostril, sniffed then they both started laughing.

It goes both ways.

PapaverSomniferum

her SO should find someone better. someone who appreciates a beautiful individual with a full figure.