embarressed of S.O.

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  • KellyKAG
    KellyKAG Posts: 418
    My husband is kicking 40 in the *kitten* and is still crazy hot. I worry he will be embarrassed by me when we run into someone he knows that I have not met or have not seen for a few years. I feel really uncomfortable when this happens because I want him to be proud of me. This is not based on anything he has said. He has never and would never say anything about my weight and is always very complimentary but I do own a mirror and have become really insecure since gaining weight.
  • monicamk1975
    monicamk1975 Posts: 298 Member
    He deserves better than her. How awful to have the person you care about be embarassed about you. =(
  • mznisaelaine
    mznisaelaine Posts: 2,262 Member
    That is completely just sad. Sometimes I think my ex-boyfriend was embarrassed of how I looked when I gained weight. At festival when I was at my fittest, he would show me off proudly but when I gained over 50 pounds, he would ask me to stay in the car if he needed to go inside somewhere, etc. I wasn't so sure if it was because of the fact I let myself go or what. But I would never be embarassed on anyone I am with.

    When you are with that person, than you should be able to embrace and care for that person no matter what.
  • Krissy366
    Krissy366 Posts: 458 Member
    I was once embarrassed by a guy I was dating because he was too skinny. I actually saw people making comments behind his back that suggested they thought he was a coke head. Like I didn't know what it meant when they put one finger over one nostril, sniffed then they both started laughing.

    It goes both ways.

    I'm not sure why that would leave you embarrassed BY him, rather than angry FOR him. If I saw people mocking my husband I wouldn't be embarrassed by my husband, but he might end up embarrassed by me with the choice words that would be directed at the offensive parties.
  • Elizabeth_C34
    Elizabeth_C34 Posts: 6,376 Member
    I would never do that to my husband. Not ever. Not even if he gained 300 lbs.

    If he did that to me, I'd feel horrible.
  • sandrinamsilva
    sandrinamsilva Posts: 651 Member
    Very shallow IMO! My bf is overweight but I want to show him off to the world. I love him for who/what he is.

    The only time I have avoided bringing my SO anywhere was when I was in a toxic relationship and didn't want to deal with his ways if I happen to say or do the wrong thing.

    ETA: I would be single if I ever found out my bf did this to me.
  • cynthiaj777
    cynthiaj777 Posts: 787 Member
    I was once embarrassed by a guy I was dating because he was too skinny. I actually saw people making comments behind his back that suggested they thought he was a coke head. Like I didn't know what it meant when they put one finger over one nostril, sniffed then they both started laughing.

    It goes both ways.

    I'm not sure why that would leave you embarrassed BY him, rather than angry FOR him. If I saw people mocking my husband I wouldn't be embarrassed by my husband, but he might end up embarrassed by me with the choice words that would be directed at the offensive parties.

    I was finding myself not attracted to how skinny he was, so when I saw people making fun of him, it reaffirmed me thinking that he was indeed just too skinny. I wasn't angry at those people. The boy WAS ridiculously skinny.
  • littlepinkhearts
    littlepinkhearts Posts: 1,055 Member
    i've been embarrassed about a SO being disgustingly drunk and obnoxious in public, but never because he was overweight....wow.
  • LatinaButterfly
    LatinaButterfly Posts: 192 Member
    At my highest weight I would hide myself, take off down an isle in the store or run to the bathroom, whenever my husband and I were out somewhere and he wanted to introduce me to someone. I was embarrassed for myself and how I'd let myself go, never embarrassed of his appearance. :)
  • HelloSweetie4
    HelloSweetie4 Posts: 1,214 Member
    I've never been embarassed of my husband when he gained weight. Actually, when he started gaining weight I was happy because he was only 98lbs (at age 19) when I met him. Then he gained a little too much, but so did I. Now we are both working to get it off. He's doing much better than me right now, so I'm happy to show him off! :wink:
  • doughnutwretch
    doughnutwretch Posts: 498 Member
    Clearly this person should not be married. If she were truly in it for the right reasons, she should approach her S.O. about her concerns with his weight gain and health, and offer to help in any way she can.

    Personally, I show my S.O. off any chance I get! He makes me look good :love:
  • ReinasWrath
    ReinasWrath Posts: 1,173 Member
    No way! Have never been embarrassed of him and he never stopped being loving when I was +40lbs heavier. I think anyone who has a S.O who's gaining weight (or maybe even losing way too much) could rightfully be concerned but being embarrassed about it is a whole new animal.
  • pudadough
    pudadough Posts: 1,271 Member
    My thoughts: she's a bish.

    If I like a guy I could care less what everyone else thinks! Grow up and live for yourself, losers!
  • hollyeverhart
    hollyeverhart Posts: 397 Member
    Thats cruel... How would she feel if he did that to her?
  • chrishgt4
    chrishgt4 Posts: 1,222 Member
    I don't necessarily think the friend does have her priorities wrong. Is it nice? No, but that's not the point.

    I love my partner but his total disregard for his health (which has caused him to gain 2 stone since we started seeing each other) is a source of personal embarassment for me, especially when I'm working to try to improve my health. Watching someone you care about let themselves go is hard.

    Yes but do you parade that around other people or do you try to work with him directly on it?

    In the OP, the woman in question didn't parade it around. She simply ducked out. There was no mention of her abusing the guy about it.

    She followed up by saying her coworker would introduce her S.O. as 'fat...but really nice!'

    To me that constitutes parading.

    Ah fair enough, I disagree with that though, I still don't see that as parading. To me she is just concerned over what people will think and is giving them the info up front so they don't do shocked faces when he walks in etc.

    I have to say, if anyone ever warned me that someone else was fat so that I wouldn't have "shocked face" I'd be insulted on my own behalf as much as on behalf of the person I was being "warned" about. Adults learn to navigate the world without a googly eyed, "OH MY GOD - YOU'RE FAT!!" reaction to people who aren't thin. At least adults with class learn that. And anyone who thinks I couldn’t do that without prior warning is insulting me. I'd love to know what her friends actually think about her when she provides these disclaimers.

    I'm not saying it's right, just that people are judging her for being horrible, when maybe she's just misguided?
  • SusanLovesToEat
    SusanLovesToEat Posts: 213 Member
    Wow, how sad for her. (Maybe this attitude has contributed to the weight gain?)

    My husband of 22 years is a BIG GUY-sometimes bigger than other times. He's totally at ease with his body and has no problem going to the beach or walking around the house unclothed. I, on the otherhand, have issues with my body never go to the pool or to the beach, and never walk round the house in my underwear-even when I'm a normal weight for my height.

    In spite of being judgemental about my own body I'm very proud of my husband and showing him off to my friends (I think I envy his attitude to life). I can't imagine ever being ashamed of him no matter what his size because he's a great guy with a big heart as well.
  • April4th
    April4th Posts: 140 Member
    Now that I think about it, I think my ex-husband may very well have been embarrassed by me. Heh.
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