Dear Co-Worker

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  • stellaskies
    stellaskies Posts: 161 Member
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    Dear co-worker,

    All the girls here talk *kitten* about you behind your back. I do not like hearing these conversations so if you could kindly stop talking about what's going in and or coming out of your vag, these other ladies might move on to something else.


    Dear gossiping co-workers,

    What this grown woman does with her cooch ain't really your business and shouldn't be something you bring up EVERY SINGLE DAY.

    Thanks,

    The happily married lady who doesn't care what you do with your lady or man bits
  • mrmanmeat
    mrmanmeat Posts: 1,968 Member
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    Also please do not speak to me within the first hour of my arrival to work as I am not a morning person and it is hard for me to control my rage during this time. Please keep comments to yourself during this time, this includes good morning. One day I might just say shove your good morning up your *kitten*, and you would think that I was rude.

    That's because it is rude.

    But see you missed the point. I'm being nice by not talking to you first thing in the am. I could care less if you think im rude or not. :grumble:

    No, you're missing the point. If you're not a morning person, then don't take a job that requires you to be at work in the morning and be a total ***** to others who aren't so rude before 11am.
  • dragonbait0126
    dragonbait0126 Posts: 568 Member
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    This is perfect. I was just wanting to rant.

    Dear Co-Workers,

    When you send me a request and I send it back asking for additional information, escalating the issue to my manager is not going to resolve it any sooner. It will only result in my manager sending it to me to handle and me calling your manager. I need the additional information for a reason. It helps me determine if there is a problem with the vendor or a merchant that I need to have fixed with them. Also, answering an email where I ask you a question with "Thank you" isn't answering anything. Again, it only results in me sending it back to you. I will not resolve your problem unless you provide me with the additional data I need. My manager will not help you. Her manager will not help you and sending an email complaining about the fact that I'm asking for additional information to resolve the issue properly to the person directly under the CEO WILL NOT HELP YOU! There's a reason I need the information. Just send it to me and all will be well. Otherwise it creates way more work for me making me extremely unhappy which just leads to a phone conversation with your manager because you're preventing me from doing my job correctly.

    Thanks,
    The Person Who Has To Deal with All The Vendors And The Issues They Cause

    OMG!! I think you are in my department!!! LOL! I have had that exact same rant in my mind! So happy we are not alone!

    Oh yes. Same rant over here too.

    also, "Please Handle" does not tell me anything about the issue....DETAILS people, DETAILS. :mad:

    YES!!!! And please don't send me the wrong information as well. For example, please do not say the customer is getting an error message when the real issue is they don't have a social security number. Of COURSE they are getting an error message. They are being asked for the last 4 of their social and they can't provide it because they don't have one!
  • pudadough
    pudadough Posts: 1,271 Member
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    Dear Male Co-worker 1: It is NOT my job to cover for you when you decide to take a day off with no notice for the 17th time this school year. Call in a sub and leave work like you're supposed to or start paying me or something. Lots of young people are out there with no job and would love to fill your shoes. You'd do well to remember it.

    Male Co-worker 2: Disliking the fact that you talk about my looks, my *kitten*, and go so far as to swat me on the *kitten* with objects does not make me a radical liberal feminist who "can't take a compliment." It makes you an indecent *kitten*. Do it again and I won't report you to HR, I'll report you to my burly older brother.

    Thankssomuch,
    Responsible, Totally-Not-Interested-In-Your-Pervy-Pepaw-*kitten* Worker.
  • basbaluva24
    basbaluva24 Posts: 121
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    Dear Supervisor,

    You heart a heartless, micromanaging, B****!
  • basbaluva24
    basbaluva24 Posts: 121
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    Dear Co-worker
    I doubt that your nails grow that fast so please stop clipping them every 2 days at work. Take care of your grooming at home. Plus, you're the only guy I know who carries nail clippers around.

    OMG yes! That is one of my pet peeves at work! I have someone that did it so often, I said something to here, and now she does it every day!!! How do you get someone like that to stop???!!!
  • Pengi81
    Pengi81 Posts: 336 Member
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    Dear co-worker 1,

    You have mood swings more often than I change my socks! When you're having a good day you're quite pleasant to get on with, but when you're mood changes it's like I have to walk on egg-shells around you as your temperment is so unpredictable and you can be quite harsh and cutting with your remarks.

    Dear co-worker 2,

    Yeah, you with the motorbike who comes into the office in her leathers. Do you realise how hot I think you are? Whenever you work from our office I can't concentrate on my work - shame you're straight and I have a g/f!
  • basbaluva24
    basbaluva24 Posts: 121
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    Dear Supervisor,

    You ARE a heartless, micromanaging, B****!
  • _SusieQ_
    _SusieQ_ Posts: 2,964 Member
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    Dear middle aged woman who still thinks shes 20...

    No, its not hot that you are 50 and still have a belly ring, that your SON bought for you. And no, I don't wanna hear about the 20 something you banged in your hot tub and your SON walked in on you. Yes, you have an ok body, but i think the tight leather hot pants and bustier was a bit much for Halloween. And yes, when you bend over to get supplies its so awesome to know what color your thong is that day...
  • misscristie
    misscristie Posts: 643 Member
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    Dear Co-Workers -

    Two things. 1. I am glad I'm the only person who does what I do, so I don't have to pick up any slack from someone else. 2. Thanks for being cooler than the biotches all these people work with.

    Much Lub,
    CDubs