black ladies in here

lizsharlow

oh my god, this is ridiculous!! men talk trash with their friends all the time, you can't believe everything they say, and it sounds like yall were drunk. I don't know any black man that likes a fat woman or any black women that's not on a diet or exercise plan trying to loose weight to be healthy or look good, and I know a lot of black men and women. I am a black woman. I don't know how many black women the New York Post knows, I would say not many.

jadedone

I think all men have slightly unrealistic expectations. Either you need to have big breasts and a tiny waist and flat belly. Or curvy hips, a big butt and a tiny waist and flat belly. Or both.

What they don't mention is that nobody wants you to have a big belly. (Even though some curves are more likely to come attached with a less slim waist)

crisanderson27

I personally know a lot of men (black and white) who get very upset when their woman talks about getting thin . These men are not getting upset because they "prefer" thick women, they get upset because they use their women's weight (and the way the woman feels about herself) as a way to control them. I'm not saying all guys do this, this has just been my personal experience. Also, just to clarify I'm not talking about just black women either. These men I'm talking about are abusers though, usually in more than one way.

Edit to say , yes I realize I am not black lol

Patriarchal misogynistic jerks!!

More seriously...this is related to this thread...how? The thread isn't about abuse. It's not about controlling women. It's about cultural differences.

It would have been just as pointless to come in and say that a lot of men don't want their women to get thinner because they're too lazy to do something about their own weight issues.

Or...

A lot of men don't want their women to get thinner because of their own negative self image, and insecurity...which would be magnified by a thinner, more attractive wife/girlfriend.

And...neither would have been any more valid than your point, about abusive men.

Well thanks for your input , I guess I should go back to making sammiches since the big man doesn't think my opinion is valid.

Good girl.

Easy on the antifreeze this time though, please and thank you. It's giving me heartburn.

I'll use bleach next time , fix that heart burn right up

Ahh, the joys of a battle of wits with a young lady who hasn't even been out in the world long enough to form an accurate opinion of it.

Not.

Anyhow, could we please...get back to the thread, before it's closed?

Again...thanks.

I've been "out in the world," since I was 12 , of course coming from an obviously self absorbed man, I can completely understand why you would look down on a young woman, simply for being a young woman.

You left out patriarchal and misogynistic!

Look them up.

And now, you may have the last word (yes, this self absorbed man who has such disrespect for young women is going to allow you to close the discussion. You should be grateful). I happen to have enough consideration for the others in the thread (and the OP...he's great lol), to ignore your obviously immature outlook and attitude for the sake of everyone else.

Have a great day!

ktdid626

Yes. Black men have always asked me not to lose the weight in my *kitten*. I'm tall. Hourglass. PERFECT. (for someone) I just want my booty tighter. I have always been told you can't change the genetics (big hips and butt) but you can shrink it to a more manageable size. I'll never lose my "family heirloom" aka my butt. You can see pictures of me at 5 years old with thick thighs. These babies always get me dates! But for my boyfriend of 4 years, he's happy with me at the many different weights (+/- 40 lbs). That's love.

FIND SOMEONE TO LOVE YOU FOR YOU.

And yes. It has felt that fewer white boys have hit on me, but I ultimately have had an even racial mix of boyfriends...they must have just been the lucky guys with the balls to talk to me. I love men of every color. Current boyfriend (and future husband) is a beautiful dark chocolate. Yummy.

Sarauk2sf

Okay, let me choose my words very carefully here.....I think that the idea black men prefer their women with curves and white men prefer their women skinny is a backwoods, stereotypical generalization...simply put. However, in my opinion, there are some cultural truths involved. I don't think that the majority of the black women here will say that there husbands/significant others mind that they are losing weight and gaining healthier lives. Genetically speaking, black women are predisposed to having fuller hips, thighs, and butts.....some don't, but generally speaking...they do. So duh, a black man would be crazy to not be attracted to the feature most of us have. It's still sort of stone age because in my world 2012, men of any race can date women of any race and along with this lovely freedom comes many different body types, shapes, etc. At the end of the day, it's about preference, and if those friends of yours ONLY like curvy (BIG) black women then that's their preference and they don't speak for the rest of the world.

I am just echoing another posters sentiments - this is a great post - and congratulations on the weight loss.

I think really is that people are generally (emphasis) more attracted to what they are used to/have grown up with, whether it be size or other physical traits. But it is also dangerous to fall into stereotyping too much. As you can tell from my pic, I am white, and have been hit on by whites, blacks and latinos because of my generous (as I like to think of it) bootay. So, some predisposition, maybe, but a 'rule' for everyone - not true.

george29223

oh my god, this is ridiculous!! men talk trash with their friends all the time, you can't believe everything they say, and it sounds like yall were drunk. I don't know any black man that likes a fat woman or any black women that's not on a diet or exercise plan trying to loose weight to be healthy or look good, and I know a lot of black men and women. I am a black woman. I don't know how many black women the New York Post knows, I would say not many.

lol wasnt drunk i can be just as annoying sober its a gift lollll

EmCarroll1990

Seriously, skinny doesn't always mean no curves. And big doesn't mean curvy. Get this straight people.

odusgolp

Anyone else shocked this is still around?


That is all.

MissTattoo

I can't comment. Black men don't talk to me. :-(

But all the white guys I dated loved t&a so I was good!
Now that I'm losing weight, all of my guy friends say don't get too skinny. Keep the T&A!

bunnzye2

I was real skinny, and I gained a LITTLE weight after my daughter was born, my first husband got on my butt real fast about losing the weight. second marriage - I gained 20 pounds and he didnt even notice. After the divorce, I lost the 20, got a new boyfriend, and gained 30 and he didnt notice. They made that same claim that black men dont notice stuff like that and prefer a "meaty" woman. Growing up, people called thick women healthy. I was 123 pounds when my daughter was 16. When I got to 150, I hadn't seen my aunt for years. When we met, she was extremely happy that I had put some meat on my "bones". So some cultures worship plumpness. Now I'm throwing a curve ball, I had two extrememly close white guy friends and they preferred the plumpness. so it just depends on the men in that particular culture, but I would say yes to it in general.

DAMNCHARLIE

I have dated just as many Black men as I have white men and by all means (my lowest weight 155lbs) I was never skinny. So different strokes.......

InnerFatGirl

I'm mixed, but have typical black girl's body. I have noticed that black guys appreciate it more. Unfortunately, a lot of white/mixed guys prefer skinny and straight, which is a shame because I tend to go for white/mixed guys.

I think it is a cultural thing, for eg, in Jamaica, bigness is praised.

However, both races need to recognise that big =/= curvy, so if you prefer curvy, weight isn't an issue.

InnerFatGirl

I know this is sort of off topic but it's still about black women...I know a lot of black women prefer not to workout because of their hair sweating out...I used to think, my goodness why would this be a problem and why would it stop you from getting healthier...Well...since I've been working out, I now see what they mean...I can't do anything with my hair, it's as wet as if I had been in the shower after I'm done...Go to the salon, money wasted because hair is sweated out the next day...Going to have to spend more money to get braids...So now I can see why a lot of black women don't wan to deal with working out...

Or you could go natural :flowerforyou:

InnerFatGirl

And I do think a lot of western culture confuses what fat is, sometimes. I mean, come on, people call KK fat. No wonder there's anorexia everywhere and women complaining about their 'fat *kitten*' when it's as concave as ****.

Despite being half white, that's something I've never understood about white culture.

Bankman1989

WOW! Allow me to retort..lol. First of all I don't want my woman to be skinny OR overweight. I would like for her to be athletically shaped with nice boobs and a round behind. it IS true most brothas want a woman with a Kim Kardashian butt. I think it's in our DNA. you know how a dog acts when he sees a squirrel? That's how black guys act when they see a Kim K booty! LMAO!

kieva626

I just want to chime in that ever since I've lost weight I get negative feedback from a lot of black men as well as many of my family members. A lot of the time they tell me I need to eat or that I lost my best assets ect. , but I'm not sure how white men would view my body before and after so I can't speak for them. They will say you still look good but I prefer your old body. Most black guys I know do like their women thicker, not fat just shapely (the typical stereotype of a slim waist, thick thighs, big butt, and big boobs).

GasMasterFlash

it IS true most brothas want a woman with a Kim Kardashian butt. I think it's in our DNA. you know how a dog acts when he sees a squirrel? That's how black guys act when they see a Kim K booty! LMAO!

Not just black guys... Love that Kim K *kitten*.

bigdogc23

I like women just about any way they come. I like em' tall, short, skinny, thick, not curvy, curvy etc. I have heard some of my black male friends tell me they don't like skinny women but then again I've heard other friends of different race to include white say the same thing...


What's my type?= 100% woman

I just like women period....

tquig

Just curious so don't crucify me, but could this whole debate really begin with the advertising media? There are many times more white models in media that define what white men supposedly want while black men rely more on the real-world sizes and shapes of black women? Maybe black men are just more accepting of typical women while white men are more focused on Victoria Secret model frames? Just curious...

GoldenGirl1979

i do think that as a culture, most black people do prefer "curvy" to "non curvy"... i'm not saying skinny or fat... i'm saying "curvy" i know my husband would be very unhappy if i lost my curves!!

fanceegirl75

Your question is definitely legit. I've noticed since losing 50 lbs since my journey began the amount of white men who approach me has tripled. Some even ask to join me in the gym. While black men continue to tell me not to lose another pound. Go figure! :glasses:

ahodge0502

in my experience during my weight loss, i have seen an increase in white men being interested in me compared to black men. My ex who is black, commented that he preferred me with more weight. which was shocking to me. however I'm very happy with my weight and my athletic physique. oh well, whatever floats your boat, i suppose

2Dimples1Queen

I'm from the Deep South ....I'll just leave it at that before I get in trouble