"Ideal" Body

abberbabber

So, here's my thing. I don't want a super toned/athletic looking body. I want to be a little soft, a little squishy. But...I don't want to be flabby and saggy. It seems like, around here, the options are toned and muscely (ha, not a word...y'all know what I mean) or flabby and saggy, even if you're "thin". I know that I won't necessarily "bulk up" like a man if I do weight training...but I see pics on here of the girls who "lift heavy" and although they look *awesome*, that's not really what I want to look like. It's just my personal preference.

I'm currently doing the 30 day shred and my Navy SEAL buddy has told me to do body weight exercises instead of lifting weights. Any other suggestions? I hope my explanation made sense...and that everyone will be polite when answering :flowerforyou:

JennieAL

"a little soft, a little squishy" - that's body fat. I have this now and I lift heavy. It's all about the body fat %, at least what you're describing here is.

darrcn5

No tips, but I do know what you mean. I don't want a six pack, but a flat tummy where you can see the definition "lines." I think just having a higher body fat percentage will give you the look you want (within reason of course).

jillian769

I want to keep my curves and be tight (not necessarily muscular) just fit looking but still very feminine. I don't want to be skinny or straight like a boy...I'll take Selma Hayak's figure. haha

abberbabber

"a little soft, a little squishy" - that's body fat. I have this now and I lift heavy. It's all about the body fat %, at least what you're describing here is.

That makes sense...so would it be more about trying to maintain that BF% once I hit a point that I'm happy with? I guess I'm just concerned that I'll hit a point where I'm sorta happy but want to look a little less flabby and end up overshooting my mark lol. And honestly...the idea of lifting just doesn't appeal to me.

abberbabber

No tips, but I do know what you mean. I don't want a six pack, but a flat tummy where you can see the definition "lines." I think just having a higher body fat percentage will give you the look you want (within reason of course).

Exactly! I'm glad people understand lol.

Katie3784

It is impossible to choose where you lose fat from. For me, I lose it first in my boobs and my tummy, but also my butt. Fortunately, I like being toned. In order to get the body you desire, you have to have a certain body type to begin with.

JennieAL

"a little soft, a little squishy" - that's body fat. I have this now and I lift heavy. It's all about the body fat %, at least what you're describing here is.

That makes sense...so would it be more about trying to maintain that BF% once I hit a point that I'm happy with? I guess I'm just concerned that I'll hit a point where I'm sorta happy but want to look a little less flabby and end up overshooting my mark lol. And honestly...the idea of lifting just doesn't appeal to me.

Using weights to get there is just more efficient. You could do body weight workouts though, if you don't want to lift. Lifting isn't for men, or for bodybuilders, or health nuts... I am none of those. I lift because it works. It's efficient. And believe me... it is quite easy to maintain body fat. Lol. Your body prefers "maintaining"... it fights for homeostasis. It's MUCH harder to change things.

You have absolutely nothing to fear. I'd kill to drop body fat %, like yesterday.

abberbabber

I want to keep my curves and be tight (not necessarily muscular) just fit looking but still very feminine. I don't want to be skinny or straight like a boy...I'll take Selma Hayak's figure. haha

lol I don't know that I even want to be "tight" looking...if that makes sense. Of course, I could change my mind when I get closer to my goal, lol.

creature275

just a note: guys dont like super skinny girls dont aim for that

abberbabber

It is impossible to choose where you lose fat from. For me, I lose it first in my boobs and my tummy, but also my butt. Fortunately, I like being toned. In order to get the body you desire, you have to have a certain body type to begin with.

Oh, I get that I'm a pear shape, and I'll be happy to keep my curves...but I know that I can't control where I lose from. What I'm talking about is more of a real defined muscles look. That's not what I want. Does that make sense?

abberbabber

"a little soft, a little squishy" - that's body fat. I have this now and I lift heavy. It's all about the body fat %, at least what you're describing here is.

That makes sense...so would it be more about trying to maintain that BF% once I hit a point that I'm happy with? I guess I'm just concerned that I'll hit a point where I'm sorta happy but want to look a little less flabby and end up overshooting my mark lol. And honestly...the idea of lifting just doesn't appeal to me.

Using weights to get there is just more efficient. You could do body weight workouts though, if you don't want to lift. Lifting isn't for men, or for bodybuilders, or health nuts... I am none of those. I lift because it works. It's efficient. And believe me... it is quite easy to maintain body fat. Lol. Your body prefers "maintaining"... it fights for homeostasis. It's MUCH harder to change things.

You have absolutely nothing to fear. I'd kill to drop body fat %, like yesterday.

It's just not what I prefer, honestly. I actually really dislike the gym altogether. I'd rather workout at home or outside. And lifting just seems...boring. I'm easily bored, lol.

abberbabber

just a note: guys dont like super skinny girls dont aim for that

I have no intention of ever being super skinny lol. And I'm not sure my hips/butt would really allow for that anyway lol.

JennieAL

It is impossible to choose where you lose fat from. For me, I lose it first in my boobs and my tummy, but also my butt. Fortunately, I like being toned. In order to get the body you desire, you have to have a certain body type to begin with.

Oh, I get that I'm a pear shape, and I'll be happy to keep my curves...but I know that I can't control where I lose from. What I'm talking about is more of a real defined muscles look. That's not what I want. Does that make sense?

Yes, and it's not easy to achieve. Why are you worried about this? Just focus on your calorie deficit and some moderate exercise and you should be fine. Definition comes with low body fat %. It's not like you are going to just wake up one morning and notice your six pack.

And if you have shape, you will keep that shape... you will just be smaller. It's ludicrous for people to think they're going to change the actual shape of their bodies by exercising.

abberbabber

It is impossible to choose where you lose fat from. For me, I lose it first in my boobs and my tummy, but also my butt. Fortunately, I like being toned. In order to get the body you desire, you have to have a certain body type to begin with.

Oh, I get that I'm a pear shape, and I'll be happy to keep my curves...but I know that I can't control where I lose from. What I'm talking about is more of a real defined muscles look. That's not what I want. Does that make sense?

Yes, and it's not easy to achieve. Why are you worried about this? Just focus on your calorie deficit and some moderate exercise and you should be fine. Definition comes with low body fat %. It's not like you are going to just wake up one morning and notice your six pack.

And if you have shape, you will keep that shape... you will just be smaller. It's ludicrous for people to think they're going to change the actual shape of their bodies by exercising.

I'm not so much worried as...confused, I guess. When I read threads it seems like the majority of the people are like "Oh NOES! If you don't do XY and Z you're going to be all flabby and ugly looking". I'm more just wondering if there's a happy medium, I guess

And I understand that I have a basic shape that I'll retain pretty much regardless of weight loss

andrewinsuresal

just a note: guys dont like super skinny girls dont aim for that

What he said.

kristenetc

okay, guys - it's fine to say that YOU are not attracted to "super skinny girls", but you really shouldn't generalize and assume that no guy is attracted to someone who is built thin. some girls are naturally small, or "super skinny", and disparaging them is as bad as saying similar things about heavier girls.

i realize this site is predominantly used for weight loss, but keep in mind that some people may be using it to keep healthy without the intention of actually losing weight. and keep in mind that some of these people might be "super skinny".

ps. i'm not one of those people, before you assume so. but they're around, so be respectful.

HealthyHappyBabe

okay, guys - it's fine to say that YOU are not attracted to "super skinny girls", but you really shouldn't generalize and assume that no guy is attracted to someone who is built thin. some girls are naturally small, or "super skinny", and disparaging them is as bad as saying similar things about heavier girls.

i realize this site is predominantly used for weight loss, but keep in mind that some people may be using it to keep healthy without the intention of actually losing weight. and keep in mind that some of these people might be "super skinny".

ps. i'm not one of those people, before you assume so. but they're around, so be respectful.

I like you, you are smart. As a skinner (notice how I said er) girl I find it frustrating being told that thin is not attractive.......for the record fat isn't either

abberbabber

okay, guys - it's fine to say that YOU are not attracted to "super skinny girls", but you really shouldn't generalize and assume that no guy is attracted to someone who is built thin. some girls are naturally small, or "super skinny", and disparaging them is as bad as saying similar things about heavier girls.

i realize this site is predominantly used for weight loss, but keep in mind that some people may be using it to keep healthy without the intention of actually losing weight. and keep in mind that some of these people might be "super skinny".

ps. i'm not one of those people, before you assume so. but they're around, so be respectful.

I like you, you are smart. As a skinner (notice how I said er) girl I find it frustrating being told that thin is not attractive.......for the record fat isn't either

It is a good point. And some guys DO like the super skinny look. That being said...we all know fat isn't attractive, lol, we get told that everyday.

darrcn5

okay, guys - it's fine to say that YOU are not attracted to "super skinny girls", but you really shouldn't generalize and assume that no guy is attracted to someone who is built thin. some girls are naturally small, or "super skinny", and disparaging them is as bad as saying similar things about heavier girls.

i realize this site is predominantly used for weight loss, but keep in mind that some people may be using it to keep healthy without the intention of actually losing weight. and keep in mind that some of these people might be "super skinny".

ps. i'm not one of those people, before you assume so. but they're around, so be respectful.

I like you, you are smart. As a skinner (notice how I said er) girl I find it frustrating being told that thin is not attractive.......for the record fat isn't either

It is a good point. And some guys DO like the super skinny look. That being said...we all know fat isn't attractive, lol, we get told that everyday.

This my BIL. He only dates petite, very slender women. Probably so that they can't beat him up too badly when he invariably pisses them off!

abberbabber

okay, guys - it's fine to say that YOU are not attracted to "super skinny girls", but you really shouldn't generalize and assume that no guy is attracted to someone who is built thin. some girls are naturally small, or "super skinny", and disparaging them is as bad as saying similar things about heavier girls.

i realize this site is predominantly used for weight loss, but keep in mind that some people may be using it to keep healthy without the intention of actually losing weight. and keep in mind that some of these people might be "super skinny".

ps. i'm not one of those people, before you assume so. but they're around, so be respectful.

I like you, you are smart. As a skinner (notice how I said er) girl I find it frustrating being told that thin is not attractive.......for the record fat isn't either

It is a good point. And some guys DO like the super skinny look. That being said...we all know fat isn't attractive, lol, we get told that everyday.

This my BIL. He only dates petite, very slender women. Probably so that they can't beat him up too badly when he invariably pisses them off!

LOL! Maybe that's it...guys aren't necessarily "not attracted" to certain girls, it's just that they look and weigh whether or not she could take them in a fight hahaha!

qtiekiki

Your ideal body is just that... YOURS. Other people's opinion and ideal shouldn't matter. Because this is a fitness site, people tend to be geared toward a certain level of fitness.

Karrie262

When I was at my ideal body type (not too thin, good curves, enough cushion) I would do a decent amount of cardio (I am a long distance runner) and complement it with low weight/high repetition lifting. This gave me a healthy definition without looking bulky. I've talked with physical trainers and this is a good combination for getting to where you seem to want to be. Hope this helps!

Danielle_2013

Personally I'm shooting for a size 12.. which more than likely will not find me with a six pack. I appreciate curves too and while I admire super muscular women, I don't necessarily want to be one. However, I have a sneaking suspicion this is changing.

The more I am on here, the more I am intrigued by lifting. Basically I like to get things done fast and efficiently and it seems that weights are probably the best way to do this (like 30 DS too by the way). And even more than a weight or size.. now I kind of want to see what my body can actually do!

I'm now looking at this as a fitness experiment (or new lifestyle choice) more than anything.. and seeing how I can grow and change both physically and mentally in opening up my mind to new possibilities for myself.

And talk about seriously boring - have you done long sessions of cardio?

Good luck in finding new ways to challenge yourself on your terms!

Rayman79

I'd like to add my 2cents:

Firstly, listen to Jennie, lifting weights is like body weight exercises, but better. Better in that it wall take you to the exact same body shape as you would be able to acheive with body weight exercises - only quicker!

You can have a very muscular body, but no-one will know if you keep a layer of body fat over the top. Let me illustrate with a couple of pics below. The first is Jamie at competition weight (and colour ):


This one is Jamie in the 'off-season':


You would hardly recognise her as the same person, but it is - and with exactly the same amount of muscle underneath!!

So bottom line is don't be afraid of lifting weights. If you CHOOSE not to do weight training that's completely your choice, but please don't dismiss it without understanding it properly :flowerforyou: - including the other health benefits it can have such as preserving or increasing bone density, reducing the risk of osteoperosis, and making you stringer for every day activities.

Just have a good think about it before you dismiss weight training.

Cheers,

Ray

TheBraveryLover

I don't have the "athletic" looking goal either and I do lift heavy weights with minimal to no cardio. As others have mentioned, keeping a higher body fat will accomplish that "soft" look that many (some?) of us want. You won't get super fitness model-ish overnight. It takes a long time and you'll be able to see your progress everyday in order to know when you want to start maintaining your current look.

Also, be aware that as you get closer to goal, your goals may change. When I first started last year, I only wanted to lose 60 pounds. About 40 pounds in, I wanted a flat stomach (still not interested in a 6 pack), another 10 and I'm aiming for a muscular back, etc. Just letting you know, that you may change your mind in the future. :-)

abberbabber

I'd like to add my 2cents:

Firstly, listen to Jennie, lifting weights is like body weight exercises, but better. Better in that it wall take you to the exact same body shape as you would be able to acheive with body weight exercises - only quicker!

You can have a very muscular body, but no-one will know if you keep a layer of body fat over the top. Let me illustrate with a couple of pics below. The first is Jamie at competition weight (and colour ):


This one is Jamie in the 'off-season':


You would hardly recognise her as the same person, but it is - and with exactly the same amount of muscle underneath!!

So bottom line is don't be afraid of lifting weights. If you CHOOSE not to do weight training that's completely your choice, but please don't dismiss it without understanding it properly :flowerforyou: - including the other health benefits it can have such as preserving or increasing bone density, reducing the risk of osteoperosis, and making you stringer for every day activities.

Just have a good think about it before you dismiss weight training.

Cheers,

Ray

Ok, that's kind of what I was wanting to know lol. Thanks!!

I'm not necessarily dismissing lifting weights because I think it's going to give me a freaky (no offense intended lol) body. Like I said...I'm just not into it, at least right now. I do very much appreciate all of the replies and how nice y'all have been about it :flowerforyou:

abberbabber

Personally I'm shooting for a size 12.. which more than likely will not find me with a six pack. I appreciate curves too and while I admire super muscular women, I don't necessarily want to be one. However, I have a sneaking suspicion this is changing.

The more I am on here, the more I am intrigued by lifting. Basically I like to get things done fast and efficiently and it seems that weights are probably the best way to do this (like 30 DS too by the way). And even more than a weight or size.. now I kind of want to see what my body can actually do!

I'm now looking at this as a fitness experiment (or new lifestyle choice) more than anything.. and seeing how I can grow and change both physically and mentally in opening up my mind to new possibilities for myself.

And talk about seriously boring - have you done long sessions of cardio?

Good luck in finding new ways to challenge yourself on your terms!

A size 12 has pretty much been my goal all along, too

I don't really do long sessions of cardio, mostly because there's nothing that doesn't bore me LOL. I'll have access to a "private" pool over the summer though, so that will probably change. I can swim for hours without getting bored :bigsmile:

I am enjoying the 30 DS, so I'll keep doing that for a bit then find something "new" I guess if I get bored with that and/or it stops working.

crisanderson27

I'd like to add my 2cents:

Firstly, listen to Jennie, lifting weights is like body weight exercises, but better. Better in that it wall take you to the exact same body shape as you would be able to acheive with body weight exercises - only quicker!

You can have a very muscular body, but no-one will know if you keep a layer of body fat over the top. Let me illustrate with a couple of pics below. The first is Jamie at competition weight (and colour ):


This one is Jamie in the 'off-season':


You would hardly recognise her as the same person, but it is - and with exactly the same amount of muscle underneath!!

So bottom line is don't be afraid of lifting weights. If you CHOOSE not to do weight training that's completely your choice, but please don't dismiss it without understanding it properly :flowerforyou: - including the other health benefits it can have such as preserving or increasing bone density, reducing the risk of osteoperosis, and making you stringer for every day activities.

Just have a good think about it before you dismiss weight training.

Cheers,

Ray

Amen brother.

It's so hard to get this point across sometimes...and it's not the fault so much of the people (like the OP) that you're trying to make the point to...as it is the fault of simple overwhelming misinformation.

To clarify, as Jennie, and Rayman said...lifting heavy won't make you look like a cut and ripped bodybuilder. It'll build shape and strength and 'tone' (Lord I hate that word)...but it will NOT lower your bodyfat to a level where you will be able to see that kind of visible muscle.

That is ALL diet.

abberbabber

I don't have the "athletic" looking goal either and I do lift heavy weights with minimal to no cardio. As others have mentioned, keeping a higher body fat will accomplish that "soft" look that many (some?) of us want. You won't get super fitness model-ish overnight. It takes a long time and you'll be able to see your progress everyday in order to know when you want to start maintaining your current look.

Also, be aware that as you get closer to goal, your goals may change. When I first started last year, I only wanted to lose 60 pounds. About 40 pounds in, I wanted a flat stomach (still not interested in a 6 pack), another 10 and I'm aiming for a muscular back, etc. Just letting you know, that you may change your mind in the future. :-)

Right, I get that I won't just wake up one morning looking crazy ripped :laugh: And I'm cool with it if my goals do change, I was just wanting to know if there's a decent middle ground between "thin and flabby looking" and super-duper well defined. And since it seems like that does realistically exist...I'm much less confused now :bigsmile:

abberbabber

I'd like to add my 2cents:

Firstly, listen to Jennie, lifting weights is like body weight exercises, but better. Better in that it wall take you to the exact same body shape as you would be able to acheive with body weight exercises - only quicker!

You can have a very muscular body, but no-one will know if you keep a layer of body fat over the top. Let me illustrate with a couple of pics below. The first is Jamie at competition weight (and colour ):


This one is Jamie in the 'off-season':


You would hardly recognise her as the same person, but it is - and with exactly the same amount of muscle underneath!!

So bottom line is don't be afraid of lifting weights. If you CHOOSE not to do weight training that's completely your choice, but please don't dismiss it without understanding it properly :flowerforyou: - including the other health benefits it can have such as preserving or increasing bone density, reducing the risk of osteoperosis, and making you stringer for every day activities.

Just have a good think about it before you dismiss weight training.

Cheers,

Ray

Amen brother.

It's so hard to get this point across sometimes...and it's not the fault so much of the people (like the OP) that you're trying to make the point to...as it is the fault of simple overwhelming misinformation.

To clarify, as Jennie, and Rayman said...lifting heavy won't make you look like a cut and ripped bodybuilder. It'll build shape and strength and 'tone' (Lord I hate that word)...but it will NOT lower your bodyfat to a level where you will be able to see that kind of visible muscle.

That is ALL diet.

Ok...so, if I hit a point where I'm happy with how I look, I should keep up the same exercise regimen and bump up my calories to a level where I'm (theoretically) not losing any more fat but not gaining any either? Which is what I assume people are talking about when they talk about maintenance.

It makes sense, the way you put it. Thanks!