Hubs thinks my weight goal is too much

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  • middlewhitford
    middlewhitford Posts: 7
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    I agree with previous posters - set yourself a mid-range goal and see how you feel when you get there. Everyone is built differently and so carry weight in different places. My mum is only slightly taller than me but if she weighed the same as I do she would look gaunt and half dead, but if I weighed the same as her I'd look a proper porker!
    I've adjusted and re-adjusted my weight loss goals several times since I started using MFP a year or so ago - I started out with a goal of 154 pounds, then when I hit that and I still wasn't happy with my shape I set my sights on being a (UK) size 10. When I got there and still wasn't happy I moved the goal posts to 147 pounds. When I hit that and still wasn't entirely happy I changed the goal to 140 pounds and I'm sure I'll adjust that when i get there too!

    Perhaps if you think about the shape you'd like to be and aim for that rather than an ideal weight you (and your husband) will be happier?!

    Good luck and good work so far :)
  • militarydreams
    militarydreams Posts: 198 Member
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    I saw an old friend of mine who is quite short. He's just come out of the royal navy and gawd he's got tonk. i guess they don't have much else to do on a ship for months on end lol. my point is that when i spoke to him about my bmi he laughed and said that scale says he's obece... i've never known anything more absurd. He's definitely not fat in any way. BMI isn't a die hard rule so don't go selecting the bottom of the scale and lining yourself up for an eating disorder
  • Ralphrabbit
    Ralphrabbit Posts: 351 Member
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    Wait until you are a little closer to your goal & see how you feel & look then.
    My goal is to lose just a bit more until it is right & then I will stop. I know I have about 5 stone to go but it may be 4 or 6. Who cares until I get a bit closer to it?!?!?
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    I'm 5'4" and my weight goal is 110. My husband told me tonight he thinks that is just too much loss. Is it?

    I chose that number because it was the lowest healthy weight on a chart I saw, and also because I started at 212 and I wanted my loss to be an even 100 pounds.

    I've seen pictures on MyBodyGallery of pear-shaped, 110 pound 5'4" tall women and I thought it was a decent goal with a flattering figure. My husband thinks I'm going to look all gaunt and anorexic!

    How do you set a decent goal that keeps health at the forefront?

    It's small for your height, but build plays a big role in what you can get away with. I have a friend who's 5'4" and at 104 pounds, she looked great and was healthy. Another friend at 5'4" looks great and healthy at 120 and if she lost 16 pounds (or even 10), she'd be far too skinny.
  • angieleighbyrd
    angieleighbyrd Posts: 989 Member
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    I think if you've never been that weight in the past, then you should just keep going until you get to where you feel good about yourself and not look at the number so much. I'm shorter than you, but my goal is 111. I have been at that weight before so I know what it looks like.
  • mslack01
    mslack01 Posts: 823 Member
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    I'm 5ft 3 and mine is 110 and I am at 111 now. I don't think I look anorexic or gaunt. I have just started weight lifting so that I can be more muscular but I like this size. I don't want to get any smaller but I am happy here.
  • SassyCalyGirl
    SassyCalyGirl Posts: 1,932 Member
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    I think your goal is very realistic. I am 5'5 and met my goal of 112. That being said-I have a very small frame. I do not look anorexic.
  • ironanimal
    ironanimal Posts: 5,922 Member
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    Seems like too much to me, honestly. Hard to say without seeing you at least close to it though.
  • mrsmerrithew
    mrsmerrithew Posts: 74 Member
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    I'm 5'4 and currently 180ish. With that said, at my largest I was 280. I've always been a bigger girl.

    I personally can't imagine being 110lbs. I feel like I would deathly.

    I like having curves. I like my boobs and my *kitten*. I've started weight training and I like my muscles too.

    110 lbs doesn't give you boobs and *kitten* and muscles.

    Right now my goal is 150. When I get there, I might reassess. But for now, that sounds good to me.

    I would suggest maybe setting smaller goals, and reassess once you reach them.
  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
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    I'm 5'4" and my weight goal is 110. My husband told me tonight he thinks that is just too much loss. Is it?

    I chose that number because it was the lowest healthy weight on a chart I saw, and also because I started at 212 and I wanted my loss to be an even 100 pounds.

    I've seen pictures on MyBodyGallery of pear-shaped, 110 pound 5'4" tall women and I thought it was a decent goal with a flattering figure. My husband thinks I'm going to look all gaunt and anorexic!

    How do you set a decent goal that keeps health at the forefront?

    Where are you now, 180 - 200 still? Personally I think you should pick a higher weight and reassess when you get there. I'm 5'3" and my initial goal weight was 127, I went down to 124 and looked sickly because I carry a lot of muscle so my bf% was way too low for healthy. I've gone back up to 132 because the numbers I can push in the weight room and how far I can push my body in daily activities are more important to me than the numbers on a scale. It's nice to have goals, but you can't know how your body's going to look at different weights until you get close to that weight.

    Anyway, aim higher and reassess when you get there.
  • livyluv5
    livyluv5 Posts: 3
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    I wouldn't worry about it too much right now. I would take it one day at a time. I'm 5 ft 9 in and at one point in my life i was 140 pounds which was way to thin for me even though the charts told me it was a healthy weight. I wouldnt rely on the charts. I'd go by how you feel every ten pounds you loose. Plus, if you get down to that weight and it's not working for you or your lifestyle, you can add a few more pounds back.
  • SassyCalyGirl
    SassyCalyGirl Posts: 1,932 Member
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    I'm 5'4 and currently 180ish. With that said, at my largest I was 280. I've always been a bigger girl.

    I personally can't imagine being 110lbs. I feel like I would deathly.

    I like having curves. I like my boobs and my *kitten*. I've started weight training and I like my muscles too.

    110 lbs doesn't give you boobs and *kitten* and muscles.

    Right now my goal is 150. When I get there, I might reassess. But for now, that sounds good to me.

    I would suggest maybe setting smaller goals, and reassess once you reach them.

    weight doesn't have anything to do with having boobs or a butt. I am 112 lbs-I have curves-boobs and a butt. I work out hard to maintain great shape and a shapely figure.
  • final10
    final10 Posts: 69 Member
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    Wow, 140 does look like a much healthier number for my height! I wanted to be able to say "I lost 100 pounds!" But I'd rather be healthy (that's the whole reason I'm doing this!) than be one of the Olsens!

    The good news is you don't have so much to lose. You can think about how much body fat % to lose. Either way maybe set smaller goals and enjoy the process. You'll feel so much better eating healthier and exercising and those benefits will show at whatever size you are.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    I'm 5'4 and currently 180ish. With that said, at my largest I was 280. I've always been a bigger girl.

    I personally can't imagine being 110lbs. I feel like I would deathly.

    I like having curves. I like my boobs and my *kitten*. I've started weight training and I like my muscles too.

    110 lbs doesn't give you boobs and *kitten* and muscles.

    Right now my goal is 150. When I get there, I might reassess. But for now, that sounds good to me.

    I would suggest maybe setting smaller goals, and reassess once you reach them.

    weight doesn't have anything to do with having boobs or a butt. I am 112 lbs-I have curves-boobs and a butt. I work out hard to maintain great shape and a shapely figure.

    No kidding. When I was 100 pounds at 5'3", I still had hips and boobs. I would have them at 80 pounds (not that I want to be 80 pounds!).

    There is a difference between having curves and just being overweight. Would you say the woman in my profile photo is not curvy?
  • FlaxMilk
    FlaxMilk Posts: 3,452 Member
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    I bet to a man 110 lbs sounds unfathomably low. (A lot of women think my goal weight is too low despite it being in the healthy range because they are taller and are not used to thinking in terms of the numbers I have to think in.) What about not talking numbers but giving him permission to mention it to you if he thinks you are starting to look too thin?

    At my lowest, my husband did not think I looked too thin, but I bet if I told him the numbers his perspective might have been different.

    And I'm going to echo all the other responses. It might be too low, it might not be, it depends on how you look and feel. If you start feeling uncomfortable (cold, discomfort sitting or lying down, tired, poor hair and nails) add some pounds back on. Some people just cannot be the lowest weight in their weight range. Other people emotionally cannot shoot for that because they will get too hung up on the numbers and the mission and lose perspective of how they actually look and feel.

    I think shooting for a BMI of 22-22.5 and seeing how you feel there is a good start.
  • gidgeclev
    gidgeclev Posts: 103 Member
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    I'm 5'4" and 53 years old. In my adult life I have been as low as 110 ibs but I was possibly too thin and this was in my 20's. I would look dreadful at that weight now, I'm around 140lbs and look slim.
  • korsicash
    korsicash Posts: 770 Member
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    I am 5'4" and my goal is 130 or 135. That is smack dab in the middle for BMI. I would take a good long look at your body structure. I have a heavy frame if I drop down below 125 I look like I am dying. So really do what is best for you health wise and have realistic expectations.
  • chantalb20
    chantalb20 Posts: 132
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    i'm 5'3 and the most i've weighed, apart from pregnancy, is 108. It doesn't look gaunt or "anorexic", but then again, i'm very small boned. good luck :)
  • specialtreat
    specialtreat Posts: 75
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    I am 5'4 with a small to medium frame and I want to get down to 127lbs. My husband thinks that is too low. The last time I was 110 I was 16yrs old...

    Maybe you can set yourself mini goals to reach, then reassess them once you reach them, as to how much more you would like to lose.
  • ALittleLikeHell
    ALittleLikeHell Posts: 43
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    I think you should do what you are comfortable with :smile: At 110 you will be more or less on the lowest end of healthy, but still healthy nonetheless - if you go about losing the weight in a healthy way :happy: See as you go, when you get to 130 or 120 you might decide that you like your body at that weight - or you might want to keep going. Personally I don't think 110 is too slow, especially if you're slight/small-boned :flowerforyou:

    What looks good to you, your husband SHOULD accept :wink:

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