TIME magazine and breast feeding a 4 year old

Oishii

I think the real difficulty of this topic is that in humans, unlike other mammals (correct me if I'm wrong), breasts are a sexual characteristic. Other mammals don't have great, big breasts. They are like the bright plumage of a bird, 'designed' to attract attention. The 'sexualisation' of breasts, per se, is not the problem, because nature did that. The issue is with a difficulty in accepting the dual nature of breasts: sexual and nurturing.

I can't see anything sexual in a picture of a breastfeeding child, because the function of the breast in that moment of time is nurturing. In cultures where breastfeeding is the norm that doesn't mean breasts have lost their other, sexual function, it just means people understand there are two functions, not one.

Oh, and an issue with breastfeeding past one year old isn't an 'American' thing. Part of its roots come from the historical , cultural pressure to have lots of children. Breastfeeding, especially overnight, can act as a contraceptive, so when a woman was required to produce many off-spring, short breastfeeding durations became the norm. The wealthier the woman, the higher the pressure to produce heirs, thus the existence of wet-nurses. This is centuries old and across Europe and will certainly have had some influence on what is considered the 'norm'.

auroranflash

If we're talking about it, TIME magazine accomplished its goal, which was obviously to spark controversy and sell issues.

evansproudmama

I breastfeed my son till he was one.. hes 3 1/2 now and personally can not imaging him asking for my boob at this age. He has full convos with me and understands so much. I have no problem with wanting to give your child the best start but for GOD sake pump your boob and give your milk to him in a glass! In my opinon this is an attachment by the mother and not the childs need for the milk or else she wouldnt be having him hanging off her boob on the cover of a nationzal magazine! This child is gonna have some issues down the road when he gets ahold of this magazine..

theladyy

My almost-3 year old would throw a hissy fit if he didn't get a daily breastfeed. As long as he keeps asking, I won't refuse.

Kudos to any mother not bowing to the unfair peer pressure to give up too early.


*He's very tall for 3 lol

Great...teach him early to just throw a fit until he gets what he wants...that's smart.

theladyy

The kid is 3, not 4.

thanks for the correction-even at 3 years old-its disgusting. Not breast feeding itself-just at that age and the cover was just disturbing.

I agree.

oh, but its less disgusting to give your kids milk from a cow teet? hmm. intersting. or a toddler mixed formula from some big company that has killed children in 3rd world countries for greed...yup, im talking Nestle.

The kid isn't standing underneath the cow, latched on to the utters.

theladyy

I know everyone has their own opinion. . . .But I just think its gross the way she is doing it. Maybe when they get that old . . just pump and poor it in a cup or something if you must. Personally I think its too old to be breast fed

Have you ever pumped? I exclusively pumped for my 2 year old when he was a newborn. It was a nightmare. Quite simply, pumping sucks. It's time consuming and inconvenient. If I were still giving my toddler breast milk, there's no way that I'd pump. There's no telling what he'd get into during that time. :-P

How is it any less time consuming or inconvenient to breastfeed?

TheRoadDog

Never mind.

theladyy

I personally found the cover pic to be disturbing-what are your thoughts?

What's "disturbing" you - the fact that the mother is breastfeeding a 3 year old or that she had someone take a photo of her doing it or that its printed on the front cover of a magazine?

The first one doesn't bother me at all, the other two I agree. How is that kid going to cope with the abuse he's going to get from his friends? I hope the mother got paid enough to make her feel a bit better about what she's putting him through.

EXACTLY. To all of you that have BF that long, I'll bet you don't have pictures of it, and especially don't have them circulating around the world, WITH names attached. When that kid becomes a teen, it WILL be found, and he will be ridiculed until the day he dies.

theladyy

Never mind.

Too late, already saw it when I was replying to someone else.

I wasn't telling anyone how to raise a kid, but I think we can all (well, maybe not all, since you certainly didn't agree) agree that just giving into a kids tantrums isn't healthy.

JenMarie8781

I'll be breastfeeding my son until he's 3 or 4.
I'm 19 years old, and I made that decision the moment he was born - i want to give him the best, i produce plenty of milk, why shouldn't i? it's not disgusting, it's natural. sure, not everyone wants to, and that's completely their choice, but just remember that the international weaning age is between 4-7 years; it's only because breasts have become so sexualized that we find it 'weird'.

The international weaning age is between 4-7 years old because of necessity, not option.

Most of the world isn't priviledged to the abundance of food resource that the Western World has. In that, if you have a loaf of bread and a few vegetable to last a week, doesn't it make more sense to feed yourself and breastfeed your child from your body than to try and stretch your already stressed resources between two people and not provide either one of you with the calories or nutrition necessary for survival.

I'm not knocking your decision, your parenting choice is your own. I am just saying that when I hear that reasoning from women who live in the Western World, I find it flawed and misguided.

its like saying "the international marriage age is 15" or "the international drinking age is 12" or "only 1 out of 500 homes in the world have indoor plumbing so there is absolutely nothing wrong with pooping in the streets".

Some things that "the world" is doing isn't necessarily what the Western World is doing and that needs to be accounted for when making that argument.

I refuse to drink the koolaid just because somebody tells me that everyone else in the world is doing it. Do whats right for you and yours because it is what you want to do. Good luck with your decision, my bff tells me breastfeeding helps with post baby weight loss so maybe you will lose the baby weight and some, I would love to hear the results 4 years from now.

*Like*

ashleymichaud

Quite honestly I think this whole "attachment parenting" thing is a crock of shi$$. !!

Letting kids sleep in your bed ( co-sleeping) and nursing till they are in school is ridiculous ! Bunch of tree hugging, granola eating nonsense...

If you don't teach your children how to be independent and confident and go to sleep without nursing or sleeping with their parents you are not doing them ANY favors !

The reason divorce rate is so high now is because of crap like "co- sleeping" husbands and wives don't honor each other any more, it's all about the kids... you picked your spouse first, start acting like a spouse.

Nothing makes me more annoyed than wives who once they have a baby they ignore their husband and their marraiges and everything revolves around the kids..

Life is about balance, getting all of your needs met by breastfeeding your kids or sleeping with them till they are 5 is not the way.....

I have 4 children, ages 8-21, all well adjusted kids who excel in school and college. They are love me very much, they were all breastfed till they had teeth and guess what..... I am still married, and they slept in their own beds and had bedtimes and routines and they were not the little hellions running around the stores or up all night in restaurants with adults having meals....

UGH

So co-sleeping for the first 16 months with my daughter makes me a tree hugging granola head who hate my husband. Okay, sure.

Giggle... granola head (kidding)

LOL:laugh:

theladyy

We live in 21st century US, where we have plenty of food available to most citizens; there is no need to BF a kid past 1-1.5 years. If you want to give it breast milk, great, but just pump it, I know most of the story was about the actual breastfeeding part, but almost everyone commenting here that do agree with giving a child breast milk, do so for health reasons, not for "attachment parenting".
Breastfeeding an infant in public is fine, but if you actually go out and feed a child in public, you're just looking for attention and debate.

The reason you see toddlers and kids still breastfeeding in places like Africa is because they don't have the option of going to a grocery store and getting food, and sometimes not even growing/raising their own.

Yeah, I get the whole "to each their own" and "what works for some doesn't work for others" and even though this doesn't affect me at all, that doesn't mean I'm not allowed to have an opinion about it or that just because my opinion differs from others, that I have to keep quiet. I agree with the OP that the COVER is certainly disturbing, but that's obviously what Time wanted...the reason I find it to be that is because of how many shots they had to take before the got the 'right' one...and at that point, the kids was either not eating anything but just had his mouth hooked on the breast, or thinking he was at an all-you-can-eat buffet. And the caption "Are you mom enough?", that just seems like they're saying if you DON'T feed that long, then any other way is the wrong way.

And yes, we're mammals, but we're not animals. We don't mate to keep our species from dying out (we're not in any danger of that for quite some time), we have babies because we just 'want one' (save for 'accidents')

All of this just fits with this modern mentality of just letting kids do whatever they want, whenever they want, and disguising it as being the 'natural' way.

Florawanda

I was unable to breast feed my first two children for more than a few weeks, to my great regret, but managed to do it with my third and fourth, and breast fed both of them until they were nearly two... but only one feed a day, usually at the end of the day - it was a very special time for both of us, a time to be together in the midst of what was often a chaotic family life ... and of course they were having normal food for the rest of the day. It was the most natural thing in the world to do.

It was my third child's birthday yesterday - he is 36 now, and one of the most stable,well adjusted adults I know, who has weathered some devastating problems in his personal life, to the admiration of many of his friends. Similarly our fourth child seems to also have an inner strength. This is not to say that our eldest two are less stable, and I have no scientific proof that the prolongation of the breast feeding was what made a difference, if there is any, but simply making an observation.

But I do sympathise with the comments on the publicity that the child will have to endure for the rest of its life.

epic10793

I'm against Time Magazine for pitting mothers against each other. And doing it on Mother's Day.

Well said!!

12by311

I know everyone has their own opinion. . . .But I just think its gross the way she is doing it. Maybe when they get that old . . just pump and poor it in a cup or something if you must. Personally I think its too old to be breast fed

Have you ever pumped? I exclusively pumped for my 2 year old when he was a newborn. It was a nightmare. Quite simply, pumping sucks. It's time consuming and inconvenient. If I were still giving my toddler breast milk, there's no way that I'd pump. There's no telling what he'd get into during that time. :-P

How is it any less time consuming or inconvenient to breastfeed?

As a mother who has done both (breastfed and pumped), pumping simply sucks. But I did it anyway when I had to.

Also, for any woman reading this on the fence about BFing, I will tell you the best thing about it, besides the amazing bond, is that pulling your boob out at 2:00 a.m. is so much easier than getting up and preparing a bottle.

Back to the original topic, I agree with the others that I do not like how Time is putting mothers on one team or the other. I breastfed until I went back to work...and then I pumped, but wasn't strict enough with my pumping schedule and ending up losing my supply. I am more educated (and it's a trial and error thing) now so with my second child I WILL be breastfeeding for at least the first year. I do not care if another woman is BFing or giving formula though....as long as the baby is being properly fed and is growing is what matters!

As far as extended breastfeeding...can I personally see myself doing it? Nah, not really. However, where I am from, breastfeeding used to be taboo and it's just recently that younger mother's are changing that view.

I don't really care if another family chooses extended BFing. I am a teacher and see kids in MUCH worse home situations than that. So I do not think people are bad mother's for extended BFing or think it's anything relatively close to abuse.

Edithrenee

Why is it disgusting? That's stupid.

hum because he was to big! And the way she posing it looks gross! I beleive in breast feeding but it comes a time to stop and i think that was time to stop. I feel they took a beautiful thing and made it gross..

sleepytexan

Why is it disgusting? That's stupid.

hum because he was to big! And the way she posing it looks gross! I beleive in breast feeding but it comes a time to stop and i think that was time to stop. I feel they took a beautiful thing and made it gross..

I agree. That is a sexualized pose. No one stands like that while breastfeeding, WTF! The woman has a defiant gaze, and the child is awkwardly standing on a chair and twisting sideways to look into the camera. Is that the way a mom lovingly nourishes and bonds with her child? No, that is the way TIME magazine, and this woman (who happens to be a model and is obviously exploiting her child for the sake of controversy), stir the pot of "Mompetition" for Mother's Day.

Have a look at the journalist's take on the photos:

http://www.foxnews.com/opinion/2012/05/11/time-magazine-cover-forget-breast-what-about-boy/?cmpid=cmty_fb_Time_magazine_cover_--_forget_the_breast,_what_about_the_boy?

WTF, Time! Fail.

DAMNCHARLIE

it's natural to breast feed your baby, I dont know why people do over dramatic things to get people fired up an talking. I also think by 4 years old a sippy cup should be provided.

Ely82010

Happy Mother's Day to all,

Mothers are a lot like flowers. Each has her own unique beauty and each is designed to bloom magnificently where she is planted. And that's what this beautiful 3-minute movie is all about!

Heart of a Mother celebrates Mother's Day, and the beauty of a mother's love, in an unforgettable way. You're going to love it, and since mother's day is coming up later this week - you'll want to share it with every mother you know!
Happy Mother's Day to all,

http://www.flickspire.com/m/LSTruth/HeartOfAMother?Id=46268

nutritionwhiz

Pump it and put it in a cup...you wouldn't keep giving a 3-7 year old milk in a bottle

because it would ruin their teeth. We shouldn't be deciding how long to breastfeed for based on the limitations on a bottle.

At my job I see lots of 3-5 yr old still getting a bottle.