TIME magazine and breast feeding a 4 year old

ironanimal · May 2012

All I have to say is I feel sorry for her nipples. Those poor things.

lilcupcake213 · May 2012

I can't believe that this has gotten to be such an ugly thing. This magazine cover did nothing or proved not one point. All it did was pit mothers against other mothers. No one is right and no one is wrong. If people choose NOT to breastfeed that is their decision. If they DO, that is their decision. But as a mother who didn't breastfeed any of her kids, all I ask is that some discretion is used when breastfeeding in public. I dont need my 5 year old son staring at some women with her ta-ta's hangin out. Thats all Im saying...just use a wrap or blanket of some kind. Also, forget about all the other kids seeing your "girls", what about me? i don't wanna see it either. BUT i have to say about the cover...i think when your kid can tell you " hey ma, I'm thirsty" it might be time to stop breastfeeding!

jan_andrea · May 2012

Babies root from the time they're born -- they're telling you they're hungry. "If they can ask for it, they're too old" is bull****.

Also, I see a lot more skin in posts here -- or walking around *anywhere* in the summer -- than I ever see on a breastfeeding woman. This "whip it out" stereotype is crap -- very, very few women do that, and yeah, when they do, they may be trying to prove a point, or it just may be that's what works best for their baby. Have you ever tried to cover up a baby who doesn't like to be covered? Mine would pull the blanket off if I tried... but I would wear clothes that make it easy to expose as little as possible, or use the tail of my sling (babywearing FTW!) to cover my breast.

HOWEVER, I really resent the implication that unless a woman is wearing a burqa, breastfeeding is offensive. *It's how we feed babies*. It's not a peep show. If you can't tell the difference between a food breast and a sex breast (hint: the former has a baby attached to it; the latter is encased in lingerie or the like), that's your issue, not a mother's.

Jeliwood · May 2012

I have two children and I wasn't able to breast feed either because for some reason I am completely unable to produce milk. It's amazing how some people make you feel guilty for doing one thing or another with a child. Breast feeding just wasn't in the cards for my kids. But they are happy, healthy, and that's all that matters.

I think it's great for the women who want to breastfeed. That's the way nature intended. Do I want to be made to feel bad by these women because I didn't? No. Bullying, no matter the reason or cause, is not a good thing. We push so hard now for our children not to bully each other but we don't really address it when it's between adults. Maybe that's something we should take a look at.

Breast feeding is natural. That picture on Time wasn't though. Personally, I don't want to watch anyone eating- baby, toddler, or adult. Food is a private thing in most cases and only becomes a social bonding thing amongst those we are close to. It doesn't make the woman appear to be closer to the child. It seems only judgemental, the way they're looking at the camera. It would have been a whole different thing if they were sitting comfortably in the child's room and the woman holding her child, looking down at him lovingly and him up at her. The picture was cold, awkard, and almost hostile. Everything an interaction with your child shouldn't be.

Just my thoughts.

jan_andrea · May 2012

You understand that it was the photographer who posed them that way, right? Nobody actually breastfeeds that way.

DanTTX · May 2012

This!

lilcupcake213 · May 2012

This is exactly what I'm talking about. Mothers pitted against mothers. People don't want to hear other peoples opinions and get all defensive when it's not the same as their own. "If they can ask for it, theyre too old" I think it completely right. I'm sorry but when your kid is walking around, making full freakin sentences, and eating table food and are more than capable of drinking from a cup, i think its time to stop. I'm sorry but it's disgusting. I'm all for breastfeeding infants, babies, maybe even a toddler..but when your kid is ready for school, thats just sick. And yes, you're right that if you can't tell the difference between sexual or feeding purpose that is the mothers problem. Try explaining that to a little boy at age 4. Everyone wants to talk about how breastfeeding mothers get all types of criticism. Well what about what BF mothers do to NON BF moms. We're looked at as not as good of a mother, or bad b/c we're giving them formula and mother nature intended them to drink their mothers milk. News flash for people, formula is made WAY different than it was before and it very comparible to breast milk now a days. Yes, it will never be as good but it's pretty damn close. If people choose NOT to BF we shouldnt be hounded for it. BF moms don't like it when they are looked at negatively, so don't do it to mothers who choose not to breastfeed. I dont care what anyone says, no ones kid is gonna be smarter than mine, thinner, or more successful just because they were breast fed and my kid wasnt. That's just dumb.

Beezil · May 2012

My personal opinion... so don't attack me for it. I think breast feeding is great, wonderful, and an amazing thing that is absolutely the best nutrition for a baby. However, I also think that once a child gets teeth, it's time for them to stop sucking from the teat. If you still want to pump and give them breast milk in a bottle or a cup, I think that would be fine and much more appropriate.

If a child can walk, talk, and pour their own juice, they're definitely too old to be doing it, imo.

impyimpyaj · May 2012

Some babies are BORN with teeth. I guess they have to go straight to solids and a sippy cup and never nurse?

Beezil · May 2012

I've never heard of that. You can't possibly hold it against me simply because I didn't know that. Obviously, that's not what I was implying. Most children are supposed to start eating solid foods or semi-solid foods when they begin getting their teeth in, which for my son was about 6 months old.

impyimpyaj · May 2012

I'm not holding anything against you. I'm simply saying, you can't use physical milestones like that to dictate readiness for weaning. All children are different. The WHO recommends at least two to three years of breastfeeding (exclusive for the first 6 months), and as long thereafter as is mutually beneficial and comfortable for mother and child.

AmyM713 · May 2012

I think TIME magazine was just trying to stir the **** pot, this topic has always been touchy. Who the hell cares if you breastfeed or not or how long you do it for, its a mothers choice, your always going to have rude people in every situation of life that think what you are doing is wrong, and this just happens to be one of those hot topics. I bf all 3 of my children, first two to 3 months because I couldn't keep up and my third to 11 months. It was my choice and my sons. I hate reading about breastfeeding and seeing people fight over whats wrong and right when there are soooo many other issues in the world other then how a mother feeds her child that we should be working on. Screw time magazine and their editors for making a piss poor choice on a cover photo and topic!!!

Beezil · May 2012

It's a personal preference - hence the "mutually beneficial and comfortable for mother AND child" part of what you said. If I feel that my child having their teeth come in should dictate them moving on to food that is my choice and my right as a mother.

impyimpyaj · May 2012

I didn't say it wasn't. I'm simply saying that the recommendation is two to three years, so when people say how all children should be weaned and given pumped milk by the time they have teeth (which you're not the only one), it's misinformed. If that's what YOU would like to do, that's fine. Awesome, even. But try not to project your opinions onto others, especially when your opinions are opposite of the WHO's recommendations for optimal health.

lillebanon · May 2012

I think that cover photo and title are pretty ridiculous. That said, my son who turns 3 in August still nurses at bedtime.

Here is a list of some of the amazing, well-researched benefits of breastfeeding BEYOND infancy:

http://kellymom.com/ages/older-infant/ebf-benefits/

And statements from real experts:

* The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that “Breastfeeding should be continued for at least the first year of life and beyond for as long as mutually desired by mother and child… Increased duration of breastfeeding confers significant health and developmental benefits for the child and the mother… There is no upper limit to the duration of breastfeeding and no evidence of psychologic or developmental harm from breastfeeding into the third year of life or longer.” (AAP 2005)

* The American Academy of Family Physicians recommends that breastfeeding continue throughout the first year of life and that “As recommended by the WHO, breastfeeding should ideally continue beyond infancy, but this is not the cultural norm in the United States and requires ongoing support and encouragement. It has been estimated that a natural weaning age for humans is between two and seven years. Family physicians should be knowledgeable regarding the ongoing benefits to the child of extended breastfeeding, including continued immune protection, better social adjustment, and having a sustainable food source in times of emergency. The longer women breastfeed, the greater the decrease in their risk of breast cancer.” They also note that “If the child is younger than two years of age, the child is at increased risk of illness if weaned.” (AAFP 2008)

As for children being traumatized by the memory of suckling from their mother's breast, that is a complete load...
I remember when my younger sister was born and my mom was nursing her (so I would have been close to 4 years old) coming in and seeing her nursing and asking if I could have some too. My mom allowed me to. At that point I remember being surprised that it tasted warm and sweet, because by that age I was used to drinking cows milk. This is a very clear memory to me. It has never disturbed me, but rather I always chuckle a bit when I recall it. I probably have such a great memory because my mom did breastfeed me until well into toddlerhood.

)

This is very much the "norm" outside of the U.S., and not just in third world countries. I wouldn't exactly say the the U.S. is prudish, since they have no problem broadcasting scantily clad women on their billboards, beer commercials and magazine covers, and nobody pays any mind to that, but for some reason everybody here tries to sexualize the natural act of comfort and nourishment between mother and child and freaks out about it. Sure, TIME was going for shock value with their magazine cover... but lets face it, if the general public here in America had a proper view of breastfeeding, TIME would never have covered a story about it to begin with, because it wouldn't have sold. Shock and awe sells. So if you don't want to see magazine covers like this in the future, stop reacting to it!

Beezil · May 2012

I'm not forcing my opinion on anyone, just stating it. Also, please note that I never said I thought all children should stop drinking breast milk when they have teeth, just that they should stop drinking from the teat. Pumped breast milk is still breast milk, after all. Giving the child the ability to drink from a cup or a bottle when they are ready is a good thing in that it promotes independence and mental growth, maturity. That may not be for everyone though, and that's fine. That's just how I feel about it as a mother. I wouldn't look down on anyone for doing something different. To each their own. Every child is indeed different and has different needs, as every parent is different as well.

k1mmi3 · May 2012

Please don't let this influence your decision to continue, it your son still wants to feed great he will wean himself - mine did. He started reducing from around a year and then by 17 months was just a nightime feed and he was fully weaned at 18 months, my daughter followed a similar pattern and weaned at two.
My children are the healthiest in my family and I think it is down to the fact that my children were breastfed.

Unfortunatley there are some strong opinions on this site and many from those who haven't breastfed, which is slightly disturbing that they hold such strong opinions without the experience...

The top and bottom of this debate is that people are sexualising breasts and that is their problem, not yours you are using them for what they are intended for - sorry rant over.

weighlossforbaby · May 2012

Hmmm, it's her decision what she does. I think putting it on a magazine was going too far though. Do you think she just wants to keep that bond with him?

Marla64 · May 2012

Agreed--

it's much like the Duggars-- it's no one's business how many children they have. It's nobody's business if this woman nurses her kids to age 25! EXCEPT-- they MADE it our business with a TV show, in the case of the Duggars, and with a TIME magazine cover with this lady. Okay, great, you opened a national debate-- to what end? Has it changed anyone's mind? Or simply created more division in an already divided country?

Nothing like exploiting your children for a cause.

Ely82010 · May 2012

Well said!!

TIME magazine and breast feeding a 4 year old

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