what to do when cals in vs cals out doesn't work? (long)

BerryH

Yes, her nutritionist told us the same thing... but she can't be the only woman with stress issues. How do other people overcome it?

Cardio, particularly running outdoors.. And The Pill doesn't cause weight gain.
http://www.nhs.uk/news/2011/06June/Pages/the-pill-and-weight-gain.aspx

BerryH

Yea, the mental battle is definitely the hardest part of all this for her.

Does she actually want to lose weight or does she feel the pressure to do so because you've got in shape or that you want her to?

LittleFootHafner

My body tends to like less carbs... so when I eat more SmartOnes, I do worse.

Try eating tuna/chicken flakes on 2-3 wheat crackers (ryvita, melba, etc..) with veggies and fruit for lunch
Try a homemade vegetable soup

Try having yogurt and fruit for breakfast

I eat more protein now, with loads of veggies for my dinners (no sides lately)...

Good luck to the both of you!

stephaniekneld

Although you state that she has no known medical issues, she may want to go and have her thyroid checked. One of the main symptoms is the inability to lose weight, along with fatigue, hair loss/thinning, outer 1/3 of eyebrows are sparse or missing, cold most of the time when others are comfortable, depression-like symptoms, brain fog.... there is an entire list of symptoms. If she is eating well, and working out and is not seeing any results, I would look into this as a possilbe cause.

em9371

She's been able to hold that for a week, sometimes up to 10 days. It's hard for her, but she's done it. No change in measurements or weight.

I think you answered your own question here!!!

I was about 130lbs 9 months after I had a baby (so all of my "baby" weight was gone), and it took 5 months to go down to 105 pounds. How I did it - tracked every calorie for 5 months, ate 1200-1500 a day depending on my workouts (I never ate the same calorie amount each day) and had one refeed of 2500 calories per week. I did this, strictly, for 5 months solid.

At this time, I was doing more cardio and less weight training. I did cardio 6 days, and 2 days a week of weight training. Now I am an avid believer in more weight training and less cardio, but at the time I lost the initial weight I didn't have the same mentality.

Obviously you know what you're doing, but it sounds like to me she isn't giving it enough time and isn't as dedicated as you are. 10 days is not enough to see any changes, IMO. Tell her to be strict for 3 weeks and she will start seeing results, at least that is the time frame I started seeing results.

This.
If she is 5'4 and 140lbs, she doesnt have much to lose.
If TDEE is 2250, and she has been eating 1500, thats a 750cal / 1.5lb deficit which may be too much based on what she has to lose.
Try a smaller deficit for 0.5-1lb, and she needs to give it time, loss when you get near to goal is generally a lot slower, 0.5 a week is usually pretty good going, but people get frustrated, want to lose 2-3 a week and then give up!

lilheis

Hi. I'm new on here and was wondering what you meant when you said "2500 calorie refeed".

I have lost about 8 lbs, but I am exhausted and weak all the time even though I am eating 1200-1500 calories a day.
Yesterday I felt so sick. I ate an extra 200 calories in the evening just because I felt so badly.

Thanks for the info.

momof2winsplus

5'4 and 140 is a healthy weight for a 33yo female. I would focus on a healthier lifestyle than losing weight. Doing exercise activities together with you to make it fun. But maybe 140 is her optimal weight.

jbella99

up water to a minimum of half her weight in ounces. Enter her stats into mfp with a one pound per week loss with a sedentry lifestyle, split her carb/protein/fat ratio to 40/40/20. eat ALL of her exercise calories. For me this can sometimes be over 2000 calories a day. I lift heavy 20 to 30 minutes 5 days a week, I do 45 to 90 minutes of cardio 6 days a week. Get her some high quality protein and glucosamine to have right after her workout and add a multivitamin and omega-3s. I have trouble losing and still do but if I eat CLEAN, and stick to my workout schedule the weight comes off. Eating CLEAN is a huge factor though.

tigerlily8045

If she is not ready mentally, there is nothing that will help. I have spent years "dieting and trying to get in shape" but if I didn't see a result right away then like her, I was throwing in the towel. I have had the light switched on and realized that I need to get healthy and if that means that the scale doesn' t move then so be it. But I will look HOT! LOL.

Cardio can be a stress reliever. Maybe she needs to do boxing or something like that to get that stress out. Zumba away the stress by having fun. If she isn't getting in shape and healthy for herself and isn't ready. Nothing can make her.

ladyace2078

1. What is her goal? Lose inches? Lose pounds? Accomplish a particular exercise/race?
2. How much sleep does she get per night?
3. Was this her idea or yours?
4. Is she an emotional eater?
5. What is her history in regards to eating healthy and exercise? Is this all completely new to her or has she done this before?

I ask all of these questions because she is on the high end of healthy weight, so my guess she is only wanting to lose 10-20 lbs. That means her weight loss will be slower--think months, not days. She may want to focus on losing inches and fitting into a specific size, which means she needs to stop using the scale as a measure of success.

Sleep is one of the biggest factors of stalled weight loss for me and stress can interrupt my sleep. If I don't get at least 7 hours per night every night, I don't lose weight.

Getting in fit and healthy had to be my idea in order for it to work. I had to want it bad enough because it's a lot of hard work. Having a support network is important, but someone telling me I had to do it would have never worked for me.

If she is an emotional eater she may be sabotaging when she's not tracking her food. I highly recommend the book 'How to Eat What You Love and Love What You Eat'. It really helped me break the emotional cycle of eating.

If eating healthy and dedicated exercise is new to her, it's going to take time to learn, time to enjoy it, and time to create the habit. A few days is not enough. She has to want this to be a new lifestyle, not a short term way to reach a specific weight.

The things that work for me: more sleep, eating more (I only eat about 300 calories below my TDEE since I only have maybe 10 lbs to lose), drinking nearly 150 oz of water a day, weight training and HIIT cardio (no more steady state 30-40 min for me!) 5 days a week, plus a day of pilates and one rest day.

BeingAwesome247

"inconsistent effort, inconsistent results"

She doesn't have much to lose for her height and it's going to be a battle. If she's looking at it like a "diet" and not a change completely, she's going to be resistent.

Birth Control is a biggie
For stress - yoga, running, cycling (things you already do so maybe include her)
Also, check out Yogi organic tea...they have some great calming teas

She has to find something SHE likes. My sister is a beach body fan. That works for HER.
I'm a Jillian Fan. She keeps me engaged.

Stick to the basics...I started back sliding because I was getting overwhelmed with numbers.
Lean meats, low fat dairy, load up on veggies & fruit, whole grains

Hide the scale....if the scale is being counter productive, HIDE IT!!

bcattoes

Yes, her nutritionist told us the same thing... but she can't be the only woman with stress issues. How do other people overcome it?

Cardio and yoga. Taking time for yourself, even if it's just a few min a day. Take a bubble bath, meditate, get a massage.

UsedToBeHusky

The only recommendation I can make, and I'm no scientist, is to consider trying a different form of birth control. You didn't specify what she is using, but many of them have side effects that affect your water balance or appetite. If that wasn't logical or scientific enough for you, well sorry. I tried.

TiffL22

Have her start eating 1700 calories per day, and around 90-100g of protein. Get her on a decent lifting routine, something like an upper body/lower body split. Have her do cardio fasted in the morning for 20 mins, and then another 20 mins directly after her lifting days.

Upper / Lower Split:
Mon: Upper Body
Tues: Lower Body
Wed: Rest (cardio optional)
Thur: Upper Body
Fri: Lower Body
Sat and Sun: Both rest days (cardio optional)

Tell her that it's going to take a minimum of 3-4 weeks before she will see results. Hide the scale from her except on Sundays and have her weigh herself on THAT day in the morning on an empty stomach. Once a week.

Re-evaluate in 4 weeks.

I think this sounds like a good approach. I would also suggest her taking her measurements because--I've noticed personally--not seeing the loss on the scale can be a bummer, but it can be made up for if you see the change in measurements.

I would do chest, natural waist, belly button, hips, thighs, arms, calves. Even 1/4 of an inch loss can be really exciting, especially when it sounds like she doesn't have much to lose.

jacksonpt

1. What is her goal? Lose inches? Lose pounds? Accomplish a particular exercise/race?
2. How much sleep does she get per night?
3. Was this her idea or yours?
4. Is she an emotional eater?
5. What is her history in regards to eating healthy and exercise? Is this all completely new to her or has she done this before?

1) Inches. She's very uncomfortable with her weigh distribution (pear shaped)
2) 7-8 hours, generally
3) hers
4) can be, but not generally
5) She's done it before, but has some obsessive tendencies (i.e. takes spray butter with her to restaurants). We are trying to make sure she doesn't get carried away.

jacksonpt

1. Are you 150% sure her TDEE is correct? How do you know this?
2. When was the last time she had her thyroid checked?
3. Is she tracking ALL her food ALL the time?
4. How much is she currently eating per day?
5. What is her exact exercise program?
6. Does she have any other medical issues?

1) TDEE is as reasonable an estimate as we can get. Calculators/estimators, HRM for workouts, BodyFit Media, etc.
2) She had a full blood workup, including thyroid roughly a year ago - everything came back normal
3) In stretches she is. She'll be good for a week, not see any results, get frustrated and throw in the towel for a week. Then the cycle restarts
4) ~1400 cals
5) compound lifts 2-3 days a week, cardio 2-3 days a week
6) no known medical issues

Have her start eating 1700 calories per day, and around 90-100g of protein. Get her on a decent lifting routine, something like an upper body/lower body split. Have her do cardio fasted in the morning for 20 mins, and then another 20 mins directly after her lifting days.

Upper / Lower Split:
Mon: Upper Body
Tues: Lower Body
Wed: Rest (cardio optional)
Thur: Upper Body
Fri: Lower Body
Sat and Sun: Both rest days (cardio optional)

Tell her that it's going to take a minimum of 3-4 weeks before she will see results. Hide the scale from her except on Sundays and have her weigh herself on THAT day in the morning on an empty stomach. Once a week.

Re-evaluate in 4 weeks.

Why the upper/lower split over compound lifts? I've had her doing stronglifts with me and she's getting the hang of it.

AllTehBeers

She's been able to hold that for a week, sometimes up to 10 days. It's hard for her, but she's done it. No change in measurements or weight.

I think you answered your own question here!!!

I was about 130lbs 9 months after I had a baby (so all of my "baby" weight was gone), and it took 5 months to go down to 105 pounds. How I did it - tracked every calorie for 5 months, ate 1200-1500 a day depending on my workouts (I never ate the same calorie amount each day) and had one refeed of 2500 calories per week. I did this, strictly, for 5 months solid.

At this time, I was doing more cardio and less weight training. I did cardio 6 days, and 2 days a week of weight training. Now I am an avid believer in more weight training and less cardio, but at the time I lost the initial weight I didn't have the same mentality.

Obviously you know what you're doing, but it sounds like to me she isn't giving it enough time and isn't as dedicated as you are. 10 days is not enough to see any changes, IMO. Tell her to be strict for 3 weeks and she will start seeing results, at least that is the time frame I started seeing results.

This. If she is at a lower weight to begin with, its going to take A LOT longer to see results then someone with more to lose. I would say that she needs to stick with the plan at least 3 weeks before she'll very noticable changes.

rockinright

At 5'4 and 140, she's not THAT overweight. What I mean is, the more overweight you are, the easier it is to lose at least at first. When you are starting at 100 lbs overweight, the weight melts off a lot faster than when you start at 20 lbs overweight.

Other than my little $0.02, I think good advice has been given here from what I can see.

doda14

I'm struggling too in a similar fashion to your GF, though I've pushed through 21 days, seeing no number changes, but feeling really great. I really appreciate your comment (BarryH) and think it's right on the money. I've got a wonderful life and want to enjoy it!

therealangd

It sounds to me like she just isn't interested. When she is truly ready to get healthy, she will last more than the 5 to 10 days. You can't force her to lose weight. However, I'd also not engage her either when she starts complaining about it.