Dating or Deceit ??

crisanderson27

it's because they put on an act when they first meet you, then when they 'get' you, they show who they really are and operate on the theory (experience) that you 'love' them now & will accept it. and no, it's not just 20-somethings.

Here's what I'm doing about it. I NEVER date exclusively. I see who I want as often as I want - even date 2 diff ppl on the same day. The very instant they SHOW THEIR *kitten* (and they always do) I dump that one. no prob cause I always have back up.

NEVER, EVER tie yourself to ONE *kitten* (since they're all *kitten*) and you NEVER EVER have to worry about how deceitful, low and spineless they are.
DO NOT give them keys to your home. DO NOT give them money. I don't give them any damn thing at all & kick them to the curb for the smallest infraction.
works for me.
rest of the dumb *****es can kiss man *kitten*. I'd rather die

Bitter much?

mbajrami

When you date you don't meet the real person but their representative. The truth of their personality always comes out with time though....

So true.

Plus...some b*tchez be crayzee!

Nerdy_Rose

I have never traditionally "dated" nor will I ever.

Louise1247

I used to be someone Iwasnt when I met people because i thought i was 'weird'? But now whenever i meet people I am purely myself now and it seems to work! I find that dating causes people to fake who they are, or only show theyre 'best bits' and its likely to happen a lot

kristen6022

It's the same in your 30's. In my experience, the guys I have dated hid the crazy for about 3 months, then all heck breaks loose. Goes both ways my friend! Good luck, but you may want to just 'play the field' for awhile if you catch my drift.

w2bab

a gentleman I met through POF calls them meets, not dates... made sense to me.

That could be because POF has a reputation for being a hookup site, rather than a dating site.

And it's not just that way in your 20s and 30s. It's the same when you are in your 40s, 50s, and 60s. People are usually on their best behavior when they are trying to impress.

GasMasterFlash

Is that just the crap people in their 20s have to deal with or is there something in the water that's causing crazies to appear?

Actually, it's caused by the lack of a Y chromosome. Interesting phenomenon.

catherine4211

Just wait until you get divorced and then start dating again! :drinker:

Oh the stories you will have!!!

shbretired

I have to agree, and it's just not people in their 20's. It's all ages.

I guess they want to make a good impression, wait 6 months down the road and Dr Jekyll appears.

Egads well at my age I just say the good ones are already taken.

Dayna154

Id love to find normal land to meet a man in..

Im 45 and trying to meet a man who is self sufficient, not a psycho/drug addicted/ or have 5 or 6 different kids with that many women who just needs a new mommy for his heard of kids. That isnt easy. Someone who has some of my interests that lives close enough so neither has to relocate.
I would also like to be attracted to this person as well. Doesnt seem like a huge thing to me but I have met some doozies..
How long does it take to meet the real person once you do start seeing each other?
I try to be myself as much as possible so that there are no surprises. Why dont people do this? It would make being single and dating SO much easier!

delilah47

It takes about 6 months of spending a lot of time together to really get to know someone. If you're still together after 6 months, you may have a chance at a long term relationship.

shannypoo21

This is the part of dating I can't stand. I just want to be comfortable with you in all of your glory or not so glorious ways and vice versa. Forget the fakeness cause in the end you're left feeling empty and pissed you wasted so much on a fraud.

NeverGivesUp

you have to weed through the trash before you can find the gem. She did you a favor even though it feels like crap. Each time you have one of these experiences, you will learn more about yourself and what you want. You will know when the right one comes around!! I hated that part of dating. I do know what I am taking about, I have been happily married for 10 years

LauraMacNCheese

it's because they put on an act when they first meet you, then when they 'get' you, they show who they really are and operate on the theory (experience) that you 'love' them now & will accept it. and no, it's not just 20-somethings.

Here's what I'm doing about it. I NEVER date exclusively. I see who I want as often as I want - even date 2 diff ppl on the same day. The very instant they SHOW THEIR *kitten* (and they always do) I dump that one. no prob cause I always have back up.

NEVER, EVER tie yourself to ONE *kitten* (since they're all *kitten*) and you NEVER EVER have to worry about how deceitful, low and spineless they are.
DO NOT give them keys to your home. DO NOT give them money. I don't give them any damn thing at all & kick them to the curb for the smallest infraction.
works for me.
rest of the dumb *****es can kiss man *kitten*. I'd rather die

I'm frightened...:frown:

Erindipitous

When you find normal land...please map the path because i am 42 and yet to find it.

No offense, but this is what I'm worried about.

littlepinkhearts

This is why dating sucks and should be avoided at all costs.

A bit like herpes.

When you date you don't meet the real person but their representative. The truth of their personality always comes out with time though....

haha I love this...soooo true!

GasMasterFlash

it's because they put on an act when they first meet you, then when they 'get' you, they show who they really are and operate on the theory (experience) that you 'love' them now & will accept it. and no, it's not just 20-somethings.

Here's what I'm doing about it. I NEVER date exclusively. I see who I want as often as I want - even date 2 diff ppl on the same day. The very instant they SHOW THEIR *kitten* (and they always do) I dump that one. no prob cause I always have back up.

NEVER, EVER tie yourself to ONE *kitten* (since they're all *kitten*) and you NEVER EVER have to worry about how deceitful, low and spineless they are.
DO NOT give them keys to your home. DO NOT give them money. I don't give them any damn thing at all & kick them to the curb for the smallest infraction.
works for me.
rest of the dumb *****es can kiss man *kitten*. I'd rather die

10acity

I'm 30 and single, and a damn good catch. People wonder why I don't do a lot of dating and the honest answer is-- I'm incredibly picky. I know what I want, and if he doesn't meet a majority of the basic criteria, why waste my time & energy (been there, done that)? I'm female, so I have my share of crazy and don't deny it, but I am, in general, extremely up-front. Sometimes off-puttingly, probably. Oh, well.

:ohwell:

bebreli

@gasmasterflash.. I am dying. That is awesome! Highfive!

littlepinkhearts

it's because they put on an act when they first meet you, then when they 'get' you, they show who they really are and operate on the theory (experience) that you 'love' them now & will accept it. and no, it's not just 20-somethings.

Here's what I'm doing about it. I NEVER date exclusively. I see who I want as often as I want - even date 2 diff ppl on the same day. The very instant they SHOW THEIR *kitten* (and they always do) I dump that one. no prob cause I always have back up.

NEVER, EVER tie yourself to ONE *kitten* (since they're all *kitten*) and you NEVER EVER have to worry about how deceitful, low and spineless they are.
DO NOT give them keys to your home. DO NOT give them money. I don't give them any damn thing at all & kick them to the curb for the smallest infraction.
works for me.
rest of the dumb *****es can kiss man *kitten*. I'd rather die

whoaaaaa wow...ummmm nvm

tabulator32

Its called rose-colored glasses, high hopes and preconceived notions...mostly preconceived notions.

shammxo

I gave up.
Been single since October. it!

gumigal82

Why is it that you can date someone for a while, spend quality time and have deep conversations, and then they change into everything the weren't before? Is that just the crap people in their 20s have to deal with or is there something in the water that's causing crazies to appear?

I don't know---it sucks, but but people seem to morph into what he/she think you want or just into the other person at times. And also sometimes people are just crazy!

Alexstrasza

Thank goodness neither my husband or I were like that. I'm pretty up front and honest with who I am with people. I have never liked the idea of pretending to be someone/something I'm not.

Hubby is just as weird and dorky as he was when I met him.

minnesota_deere

Why is it that you can date someone for a while, spend quality time and have deep conversations, and then they change into everything the weren't before? Is that just the crap people in their 20s have to deal with or is there something in the water that's causing crazies to appear?

i had a blast dating, i must be like the other person you speak of. stop caring, after getting dumped/hurt a couple of times i got some thick skin, stopped giving a *kitten* and played the games, had the time of my life. my best line was "your just not my true love" they stuck around for the FWB when it was needed thinking they were going to "change me" that worked for me and than I found my wife, who changed me.

catattack13

I am who I am. sometimes people choose to date me about it. most often; not. I don't have time for games, just honesty - it helps keep MOST of the crazies away.

angelashay42

I would recommend doing what I did.. be friends with someone. Don't date them. You can do date like things and get to know the real person. After time goes by you will see who they are. My husband and I were friends for 2 years before we dated and I married my best friend and that was the best decision I ever made (other than having our babies!)

^^This. I was friends with my husband for 6 months before we started dating. We just hung out, no pressure, and found out who each other really were. We'v been together for 11 years now.

fieldsy4life

I used to be that really humble, nice guy, that wasn't a creep and just wanted to meet up for dinner and have a nice convo.

Girls put me in the friend zone. I wasn't "challenging" them. I guess I was "showing my cards too soon".

So now I have to give off this cocky, almost sociopathic bravado to create some sort of intrigue. It works, surprisingly too well; but it is hard because I still want to be a really nice guy. Usually once I tell a girl that I like them and want to keep seeing them, they start to walk all over me or get turned off, so I try to wait until I at least get a make out

Human nature sucks though. I really wish we could all just be friendly, or crazy, from the get go.

Like somebody else said - dating blows haha.

Bubbles99207

I am 46 and I tell ya I have meet some doozies!!!! Unemployed - and or druggies! Live with Mommy but say they have their own place! Say they have a car but its in storage - just to find out that they dont have one or they had a DUI and cant get their license back because it cost to much!!! I have decided to stay single and have a 4 legged dog instead of the 2 legged kind! LOL!!!!
Why is it so hard to find someone that has some morals :-) Dating or a Meet and Greet sucks either way - cause you never know the truth until you are wayside already! I wish there was a screening check before you meet someone :-)

kansasbelle

No I just turned 41 and am pretty new to the dating thing. And it's worse than it ever was when I was in my 20's. And I've been asked out by some guy in there 20's.. Hey I might be chunky but at least I have a baby face LOL.... Anyone have advice for dating after divorce? I have had two guy with kids say I love you then freak out and say they thought they were ready but are too afraid because their exes cheated. I never cheated.. I didn't say I love you first What the Hell????