How to dress for dinner...

beccyleigh

My son is 5 years old, he wears a cap & blazer to school, they are expected to remove their cap when they enter the class & put them back on when they go outside & when leaving for the day, when they greet their parents they doff their caps & say "Good Afternoon". I think that shows these manners are still valued in this day & age.

If you don't think removing your hat is a form of showing respect for your dining companions or the people whose house you enter then up to you, but for some of us the display of manners is still important & we raise our children accordingly.

Laces_0ut

$100 for 2 people really isnt that much(you could spend that at a national chain like Fridays if you have a few drinks). so for me i wouldnt put too much thought into what i wore to a place like that nor would i care what others were wearing. id probably wear t shirt, shorts and flip flops.

if i was on a date or it was at a nice restaurant i would certainly think about my attire.

It's not a HUGE amount, but for two people w/ 1-2 drinks, it's a decent price.

$100 at Friday's? Maybe if you get two apps, two entree's, two desserts, 4-5 beers a piece and tip $20. lol

2 $20 entree plus a $10 app and 4 $6 drinks each. not too hard to do it at a place like Fridays. but who the hell would want to eat there? LOL id rather spend it at the sushi place th OP mentioned

So you're at $74. lol better get two desserts and a few more drinks.

50 for the food 4x6=24x2=48. 98. no dessert needed.

Roadie2000

We're not talking about business processes. We're talking about manners. Good manners never go out of style. We could easily turn this into a conversation about men opening car doors for women, pulling out their chairs, etc. None of that is "necessary." But it's proper, it's respectful, it's appreciated. It makes you stand out from the crowd, and if you're dating a beautiful, intelligent woman who has men beating down her door, that's one of the easiest ways to set yourself apart.

Put the shoe on the other foot. Say you planned a nice, fancy dinner for a girl you really like, and you tell her that she needs to dress up for the occasion. She's annoyed by it and shows up wearing ripped jeans, a tank top, flip flops, her greasy hair in a bun, and no makeup on, while you're standing there in a Brooks Brothers suit. You telling me that wouldn't make you think twice about just how into you she is and whether she cares at all about the effort you're making?

Don't confuse being lazy with keeping up with the times.

Was this directed at me? I'm assuming so since you like to bust my balls so much. I can assure you if I go on a date I wouldn't look anything less than stellar. If I like someone I'm not going to show up looking like a scrub. But I was thinking this thread was a little more general. Lets say I'm out golfing with some friends, and we had dinner plans but golf takes longer than expected and I don't have time to change. Sorry, but I'm not taking off my hat just because someone thinks it's bad manners. Sometimes I also eat my salad with my dinner fork. I'm just a rebel like that.

ki4yxo

Put the shoe on the other foot. Say you planned a nice, fancy dinner for a girl you really like, and you tell her that she needs to dress up for the occasion. She's annoyed by it and shows up wearing ripped jeans, a tank top, flip flops, her greasy hair in a bun, and no makeup on, while you're standing there in a Brooks Brothers suit. You telling me that wouldn't make you think twice about just how into you she is and whether she cares at all about the effort you're making?

Sounds like the perfect girl if I wasn't already married! :laugh:

Oh, and my answer is I'd lose the suit! :bigsmile:

k8blujay2

But if you have a reservation to a nice place (nicer than "the olive garden" (in the voice of Howard's mom on The Big Bang Theory)), why wouldn't you get cleaned up and not have the hat head? Seriously, if I was out on a date that required a reservation, I sure as heck wouldn't be "out and about" up until the time... But many people feel that it's a respect thing. They feel it's disrespectful to wear a hat indoors. It's a tradition as old as shaking hands... yet we still do that.

Well if I could I would get cleaned up, but I've also been in situations where I've been out and just haven't had the time to go all the way back home or just haven't felt like it. If anyone thinks it's disrespectful I think they're a little too sensitive. If I'm under dressed I'm not disrespecting anybody but myself.

And so wearing a hat indoors is disrespectful just because it is a tradition? There are a lot of laws and rules that are very outdated. A few months ago at work we started overhauling some of our processes that were outdated. When we started asking ourselves why we do certain things, "Because that's the way we've always done it" was not an acceptable answer. So we ended up increasing productivity and saved a boatload of money by changing the way we do some things that were previously outdated. Don't confuse tradition with a failure to keep up with the times.

Except this isn't some arbitrary law or regulation or process of doing something... Yes, it is tradition, but it is also considered good manners and etiquette... just because you don't know how it started doesn't mean there wasn't a starting point... we still shake hands with people and most don't know where that started (btw, the same place taking your hat off indoors did... the knights) but we still do it, as it's good manners and etiquette... the point is is using good manners is respectful to everyone around you... whether they appreciate it or not... but then again I'm so "old fashion" I wish sagging would go away as that has been around way too long... but that's another thread for another day.

Schraudt814

I agree with what you're saying- Hats off at the table, and really if the place is very nice, then you should put a little effort in. I worked in an upscale Italian restaurant and it always amazed me what people came in wearing. My boss had standards he would not compromise on though- sleeveless shirts- wifebeater tank tops (or whatever you call them, not everyone likes that term) regardless of gender were not allowed- stuff that should be common sense, but apparently is not in some cases...

I hate to admit it, but he would sit the people who were dressed more casually in a back section or on the patio...he didnt want to turn them away and we're not in a town that has a large well-off population, but it was not the image he wanted to present.

AmandaPandah

I wear what I want, when I want.

NocturnalGirl

I don't judge others. Me, personally, I dress up everywhere I go. Even if I'm just stepping outside my house for a few minutes haha.

castadiva

Hats should not be worn by men indoors full stop, except in certain religious situations, if you're a uniformed law enforcement officer, or in some indoor areas that are essentially public areas - foyers/entrance halls etc. It's one lapse of manners/courtesy that irritates me profoundly. The rules for women are slightly different, unless the hat in question is 'unisex' eg. a baseball cap, when the same rules apply as for men. The origins of this rule are debatable, but are generally held to be a sign of trust - to offer a bare head implies that one feels safe to remove a protective head covering in the presence of the other person. More recently, it has also been used as a sign that you are planning to stay for some time, rather than just dropping in for a moment.

As regards dress, the rule of thumb I was always taught is to be slightly more formal than one's host, or of equal formality, where there is a dress code, so as not to risk embarrassing them - it's simple courtesy.

I see a lot of people saying 'that's old fashioned' and 'why should we care?', to which my answer would be that following certain rules and norms of behaviour shows respect for those around you, which can surely only be a good thing.

FungusTrooper

I think there are plenty bigger problems in this world than whether or not a man was wearing a hat while eating sushi.

Also, Texas.

kayemme

I think there are plenty bigger problems in this world than whether or not a man was wearing a hat while eating sushi.

Also, Texas.

yeah, but i cant help but thinkhow some of those problems could be be avoided with a little respect

artbkward

$100 for 2 people really isnt that much(you could spend that at a national chain like Fridays if you have a few drinks). so for me i wouldnt put too much thought into what i wore to a place like that nor would i care what others were wearing. id probably wear t shirt, shorts and flip flops.

if i was on a date or it was at a nice restaurant i would certainly think about my attire.

It's not a HUGE amount, but for two people w/ 1-2 drinks, it's a decent price.

$100 at Friday's? Maybe if you get two apps, two entree's, two desserts, 4-5 beers a piece and tip $20. lol

2 $20 entree plus a $10 app and 4 $6 drinks each. not too hard to do it at a place like Fridays. but who the hell would want to eat there? LOL id rather spend it at the sushi place th OP mentioned

So you're at $74. lol better get two desserts and a few more drinks.

50 for the food 4x6=24x2=48. 98. no dessert needed.

Someone mentioned this already, but 4 $6 drinks EACH?!?! You better pony up some more money because you're going to need to call a cab. $100 dinner is a nice dinner when booze doesn't count for half of that cost.

Also, whoever said manner don't go out of style +100000000

Roadie2000

I don't think hats are considered to be worn exclusively to protect your head from the elements anymore. This is 2012, not 1940, some people wear hats for fashion these days. I don't take off my pants when I come in your home (not very often at least), why should I take off my hat?

Plus, if I'm wearing a hat its because I didn't have tome to do my hair so I just decided to cover it up. Taking off my hat would defeat the purpose. Plus, I'm doing you a favor, you don't want to look at my messy greasy hair anyway, do you?

doorki

So what are the rules to wearing hats in sports bar during the game? Since it is indoors, I am assuming that I must take it off BUT since it is a fashion accessory displaying my support of a sports team I assume that I should be allowed to wear it. Or is the hat as a fashion accessory an etiquette right solely for the female?

ironanimal

If I'm taking my girlfriend out, I will polish up but that's more for her than the benefit of the staff and other patrons. Any other time, regardless of where we're eating, I'll just go in jeans and a t-shirt. I don't see the need to dress up for my family and friends, or people I don't know.

DrKittyCat

Try going to dinner anywhere around Los Angeles, particularly Beverly Hills & West Hollywood. Most restaurants are incredibly expensive, with Michelin stars, celebrity chefs, and all that. Drinks for $22+, and you can't help but spend at least $200 for two. I'd say 85% of the people who frequent these places, particularly the younger males, wear Ray Ban wayfarers, fedoras, grungy V-necks, stressed out jeans, and sneakers. As a NY transplant in LA, I can't help but dress up, but it really bothers me to see people so underdressed. When I pay that kind of money, I want a sophisticated ambience. You just can't get that everywhere. So, I say if you want an upscale experience, do New York.

shannoninBC

I do think hats should come off, however, I really don't pay much attention to what other people are wearing.

mrmanmeat

If I'm taking my girlfriend out, I will polish up but that's more for her than the benefit of the staff and other patrons. Any other time, regardless of where we're eating, I'll just go in jeans and a t-shirt. I don't see the need to dress up for my family and friends, or people I don't know.

As said, if you're going to TGIFridays it's one thing. Rarely will I wear a plain t-shirt or something when going out.
But if you're going somewhere known to be nicer, you should dress up.

Will always be my opinion.

christine24t

It is weird to wear a hat at dinner.
But my parents are very chill about their clothing. To my dad, dressing up is khakis and a button down. My mom will occasionally wear black pants and a nice top. But they're generally jeans people. Me, I love to dress up. But I think that it is up to the restaurant to set a dress code and enforce it if that is what they want, otherwise people have free reign.