Need help breaking it to her......

Options
124»

Replies

  • manderson27
    manderson27 Posts: 3,510 Member
    Options
    You don't. Go to a member of management and have them address it. You remove yourself from the equation and you don't have to worry about offending or embarrasing her. Besides, she could have a medical condition that causes it and do you really want to be the one to put her on the spot like that? More than likely she already knows about it and is probaly self-consious as it is. Whether she is aware of it or not though, most companies would prefer that a member of management handle the situation so that it can be done appropriately and avoid any type of issues (which trust me, can arise if the situation is not handled appropriately).

    This. There is no way you can tell her without her being totally embarrassed and ashamed to talk to you again.

    Trust me I told a colleague she had BO thinking I was doing her a favour because no one else would but they all talked about her behind her back. She never spoke to me again.
  • PlanetVelma
    PlanetVelma Posts: 1,231 Member
    Options
    You don't. Go to a member of management and have them address it. You remove yourself from the equation and you don't have to worry about offending or embarrasing her. Besides, she could have a medical condition that causes it and do you really want to be the one to put her on the spot like that? More than likely she already knows about it and is probaly self-consious as it is. Whether she is aware of it or not though, most companies would prefer that a member of management handle the situation so that it can be done appropriately and avoid any type of issues (which trust me, can arise if the situation is not handled appropriately).

    Like having your boss come and talk to you about your bad breath is NOT embarrassing?????

    Just says something in the nicest way possible....

    On another note....If my breath stinks, please tell me...If I have food on my face, please tell me...If I have TP stuck to my shoe, Please tell me....come on...You aren't trying to be rude, you are trying to be helpful....

    Sorry I disagree - there's a reason they call them management. There's a reason they get paid the big bucks.

    There was a lady I used to work with that didn't shower regularly or wear deodarant. Other employees had to complain and the manager & HR rep sat her down to discuss.

    She very well may have a medical condition that is causing this issue.

    Yes, I see what you are saying, and I agree if you do not know the person - but if you have a friendly relationship with this person why wouldn't you feel comfortable offering gum, tic tac etc????

    Because that's highly personal and you never know how people will take it when you tell them.

    Plus, I don't know about you, but I know I would *kitten* it up or it would come out completely wrong.
  • Krissy366
    Krissy366 Posts: 458 Member
    Options
    I would just leave the gum or mints on her desk with a little note or not when she is not around WAY better then embarassing her bc if she feels that way everytime she sees you or talks to you those thoughts would pop into her head.

    Yes, because it's MUCH less embarrassing for her to feel awkward everytime she sees everyone...because she has no idea who left it. If you can't suck it up and have a conversation with her about it, then you either need to find someone who can, or leave it alone. You can offer her gum, but that will only solve the problem in the moment.
  • RobynDCrossman
    Options
    Don't tell her, there is no way to do it without completely embarrassing her. Just move on.

    I agree. Especially because it could be diet or disability related.
  • dragonbait0126
    dragonbait0126 Posts: 568 Member
    Options
    You don't. Go to a member of management and have them address it. You remove yourself from the equation and you don't have to worry about offending or embarrasing her. Besides, she could have a medical condition that causes it and do you really want to be the one to put her on the spot like that? More than likely she already knows about it and is probaly self-consious as it is. Whether she is aware of it or not though, most companies would prefer that a member of management handle the situation so that it can be done appropriately and avoid any type of issues (which trust me, can arise if the situation is not handled appropriately).

    Like having your boss come and talk to you about your bad breath is NOT embarrassing?????

    Just says something in the nicest way possible....(edit) or leave a fresh breath goodie basket, if you don't feel comfortable actually saying something

    On another note....If my breath stinks, please tell me...If I have food on my face, please tell me...If I have TP stuck to my shoe, Please tell me....come on...You aren't trying to be rude, you are trying to be helpful....

    I didn't say it wouldn't be embarrassing for her. I said HE wouldn't be the one worries about causing it. I also stated that most companies would prefer to have a member of management handle it. Besides, how is finding a basket full of nothing but things for your breath any less embarrassing? A basket like that can be seen by everyone and in my opinion is much less tactful than having a manager address the situation.
  • victoria4321
    victoria4321 Posts: 1,719 Member
    Options
    I would just leave the gum or mints on her desk with a little note or not when she is not around WAY better then embarassing her bc if she feels that way everytime she sees you or talks to you those thoughts would pop into her head.

    Yes, because it's MUCH less embarrassing for her to feel awkward everytime she sees everyone...because she has no idea who left it. If you can't suck it up and have a conversation with her about it, then you either need to find someone who can, or leave it alone. You can offer her gum, but that will only solve the problem in the moment.

    Probably not as embarrassing as everyone avoiding her cause her breath is stank
  • leopard_barbie
    leopard_barbie Posts: 279 Member
    Options
    You don't. Go to a member of management and have them address it. You remove yourself from the equation and you don't have to worry about offending or embarrasing her. Besides, she could have a medical condition that causes it and do you really want to be the one to put her on the spot like that? More than likely she already knows about it and is probaly self-consious as it is. Whether she is aware of it or not though, most companies would prefer that a member of management handle the situation so that it can be done appropriately and avoid any type of issues (which trust me, can arise if the situation is not handled appropriately).

    Like having your boss come and talk to you about your bad breath is NOT embarrassing?????

    Just says something in the nicest way possible....

    On another note....If my breath stinks, please tell me...If I have food on my face, please tell me...If I have TP stuck to my shoe, Please tell me....come on...You aren't trying to be rude, you are trying to be helpful....

    Sorry I disagree - there's a reason they call them management. There's a reason they get paid the big bucks.

    There was a lady I used to work with that didn't shower regularly or wear deodarant. Other employees had to complain and the manager & HR rep sat her down to discuss.

    She very well may have a medical condition that is causing this issue.

    Yeah on one hand that's what they get paid for but on the other it's horrible when a manager comes to talk to you about something awkward. I vote for the anonymous note thing. If she already knows and it's a medical thing she can get some mints/mouthwash and try to make it better, it may be that she has an underlying issue she doesn't know about and can then go and get it checked, or it may be due to her diet.
  • _Elemenopee_
    _Elemenopee_ Posts: 2,665 Member
    Options
    dude, send me her email address, i will send her a note and just tell her straight up...yo, your mouth, fix it...peace...

    this isn't a bad idea...lol
  • SofaKingRad
    SofaKingRad Posts: 1,592 Member
    Options
    Send her this GIF, then tell her that every time she speaks, thermal cameras detect her breath like this.


    a7261148.gif
  • bigdogc23
    bigdogc23 Posts: 66
    Options
    I have been in that situation before and I didn't figure it out with the female I was talking with so I just let it go cause I couldnt' deal with the breath.

    However I had a buddy of mine that sat behind me in the officee and his breath always smelled like he at a TURD SANDWICH. I couldnt' take it anymore so I bought a bunch of packs of gum and tic-tacs and set them on his desk before he got to work. He got the hint. He later asked me if I was the one that did it and I told him yea, but we are guys and in the Army so we can take a bit of a punch like that from one another. But again, I didn't have the heart to tell the girl. Maybe you can do something like this covert without someone seeing you and she will get the hint.

    Some people can take care of their teeth/mouth and still have bad breath that comes from their gut. They might have a bacterial infection that they are unaware of that doesn't cause any other syptoms but bad breath or maybe have a lot of acid build up in their stomach creating this.

    OR she just might have a bad case of YUCK MOUTH....
  • leannems
    leannems Posts: 516 Member
    Options
    Talking to management may not prove fruitful; if her bad breath does not detract from your ability to do your job (i.e. if it's not distracting) they may not talk to her about it. It doesn't serve their interest unless it's affecting the workplace.

    If you notice the breath when you're just chatting, management may tell you to just stop chatting.

    You can either address the problem directly understanding that she may stop talking to you (by saying, I'm not trying to be offensive, but your breath is a little strong when we chat in the mornings. Mine is too, which is why I pop gum before I come in - would you like some?) or you can address is anonymously by sending her a note. Both has its drawbacks.
  • NonDebutante3dot0
    NonDebutante3dot0 Posts: 42 Member
    Options
    Send her an anonymous care package to the office - tic tacs, mouthwash, breath spray, gum, floss, and a tongue scraper.

    ^^^ This. Hell if that ain't a hint if I ever seen one. But thats crazy because I can taste when my breath isn't on point so why can't she???? :noway:

    Many people can't gauge the smell of their own breath. There could be so many reasons she has chronic bad breath: at worst it could indicate an illness and at best it is a social debility--chiefly because nobody knows how to inform them without humiliating them. Offering a mint is subtle but may be too subtle, pointedly leaving mints on someone's desk seems mean.

    I suggest an anonymous, factual note, for example:

    "Dear __________, I've noticed that your breath has had a strong odor for some time now, which can be a sign of dental issues or worse. You might want to see a dentist/doctor to rule out serious illness. I'm writing anonymously because I don't want to embarrass you, and I'm letting you because if it was me, I would want to know. Best wishes from a friend."
  • 10acity
    10acity Posts: 798 Member
    Options
    You don't. Go to a member of management and have them address it. You remove yourself from the equation and you don't have to worry about offending or embarrasing her. Besides, she could have a medical condition that causes it and do you really want to be the one to put her on the spot like that? More than likely she already knows about it and is probaly self-consious as it is. Whether she is aware of it or not though, most companies would prefer that a member of management handle the situation so that it can be done appropriately and avoid any type of issues (which trust me, can arise if the situation is not handled appropriately).

    Like having your boss come and talk to you about your bad breath is NOT embarrassing?????

    Just says something in the nicest way possible....(edit) or leave a fresh breath goodie basket, if you don't feel comfortable actually saying something

    On another note....If my breath stinks, please tell me...If I have food on my face, please tell me...If I have TP stuck to my shoe, Please tell me....come on...You aren't trying to be rude, you are trying to be helpful....

    I didn't say it wouldn't be embarrassing for her. I said HE wouldn't be the one worries about causing it. I also stated that most companies would prefer to have a member of management handle it. Besides, how is finding a basket full of nothing but things for your breath any less embarrassing? A basket like that can be seen by everyone and in my opinion is much less tactful than having a manager address the situation.

    Ah, I've always wondered why HR exists. *kitten*-breath monitors! It makes so much sense now.
  • yungnold
    yungnold Posts: 33 Member
    Options
    I've decided to just tell her tomorrow morning..... we'll see what happens
  • GasMasterFlash
    GasMasterFlash Posts: 2,206 Member
    Options
    I've decided to just tell her tomorrow morning..... we'll see what happens
    Report back!
  • kellicruz1978
    kellicruz1978 Posts: 170 Member
    Options
    I agree with those have said offer her gum, or mints, or a tic-tac. If her momma taught her well, she won't refuse. (My mom always said, if anyone offers your a mint or gum, NEVER refuse).
  • slimsteelerfan
    slimsteelerfan Posts: 193 Member
    Options
    LOL LOVE IT!