The Thin Treatment

amyy902

surely we should treat everyone as equal untill we know them, thats how i was told by my parents. i understand that theres a theory of people being more attract to whats percieved as a 'beautiful' or what ever. but really, shouldnt we treat people as we find them, if they're not nice, you dont need to have as much time for them, if they are nice then obviously we should respond to that. it shouldnt be because someones HOT or not. i mean seriously maybe im super sheltered or whatever but i like to think everyones nice or good untill i meet them and know them. personalitys wayyy more important than the size of our body in how you treat them .... if that makes any sense.....

budhandy

Fat chicks are not attractive. I also don't find sickly skinny chicks attractive either, but I'd take that over an over weight woman. But I'd pass on both options really. What you look like on the outside is a VERY quick read for how your brain works and I can quickly assess traits I am not interested in.

what a shallow jerk! I dont care if they lock the thread! the nerve of you... especially since you're not exactly small yourself...

sooo ignorant!

Is he a shallow jerk? He was honest. I don't like super skinny guys and I don't like fat guys. I did a lot of visual judging when I was in the dating world before getting to know the person. Its human nature.

Yeah I dont read Jerk either. Its true and that is why everyone is on this site, to get thinner and healthier...so lets be real.

A comment like 'Fat girls are not attractive' is very different than, "I prefer thinner girls' or "I find thinner girls more attractive"

he also said sickly thin girls, which to me is just bad as saying fat chicks. I agree with what your saying and he should have been more tact.

onequirkygirl

Could not agree more with everything the OP said. When I'm thinner, even on my "bad days" where I feel like staring at the ground, men treat me completely differently. They don't treat me "badly" when I'm heavier, but I think I appear much younger and not attractive at all. Strangers completely ignore me when I'm heavier. Guys I knew talked to me but as soon as another girl walked by they ignored me, like I was just one of them. Now, guys hit on me when I drive by them with the windows down, hit on me at work, go out of their way to make physical contact, stare, blush, flirt, basically treat me COMPLETELY DIFFERENTLY. Sometimes I actually get so mad and not not recipricate it at all (how rebellious)....

I don't know if it's personal preference, or because I've been fat, but the guy I'm interested in is technically overweight, and I'm totally smitten for him..... because he's a gentlemen, intelligent, and physically attractive to me.

So, I'm not blaming guys for not being attracted to bigger me.....but I don't get why I don't feel the same about it. It makes me feel like...."so, now I'm good enough to talk to, when you put absolutely no effort into your health and body?" (*sigh*)


And as you can see, I'm not even halfway done, so take that with a grain of salt....

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myofibril

I don't think it was that he "knows what he wants", it's that he's not a piece of eye candy himself, so him saying that he doesn't find fat or skinny women attractive was, as another poster put it, the pot calling the kettle black.

But that really doesn't work does it?

He says he doesn't find "ugly" people attractive and gets taken to task for it but the reason is he is perceived as "ugly" as well. If it's not cool to bash on people who are not considered what is generally considered attractive that is true across the board.

jadedone

I have been nearly overweight, I've been underweight and I've been mostly of normal weight all my life.... but the one thing I notice, is that when I'm at a low weight, nearly underweight, or slightly underweight, that people, strangers, particularly men, treat me differently. They treat me well, when I'm thin...

When I'm thinner, people smile at me, say hello, I make friends much easily, women idealize me and men want to talk to me and help me in any way they can.

Has anyone else experienced this? What are the benefits that thin people get in our society that "regular folks" don't get?

As someone who has been overweight since I don't know about age 7, I am puzzled by this phenomenon. I am a smily person. Generally speaking, people say hi to me all the time. I make friends extremely easily. Strangers offer me tastes of their food and drinks at restaurants. I've had random people come up to pay me compliments. I could have a little more male attention, but I definitely don't feel "invisible" most of the time. I can think of other people who are prettier and/or thinner than I am and this stuff doesn't happen to them. I think it is more about the energy you put out than what you actually look like.

Many women, especially if they gain weight, start feeling uncomfortable about themselves and less confident. They smile less, stop looking people in the eye and put out negative energy. When you feel good about the body you are in, you are way more likely to get more positive attention from people.

There is definitely thin privilege in this society, but confidence and self-acceptance goes a long way to remedying that.

Frankly, for me, I can't possibly imagine what it would be like on the other side of the "thin" line. Considering I already have a sign on my head that says "please tell me your life story in the grocery store line" it just might be extremely obnoxious if this is true.

Brandicaloriecountess

Do a spot another man hating thread in disguise?

No, I love men, at least some with a fair amount of respect for other humans, fat or skinny humans, that is.

crimsoncat

Judging from his user name, he's an Ohio State fan. What do you expect? LOL GO BLUE!!!

Hey now, that was uncalled for. I'm in OSU and we're not all bad.

To answer the OP's question, I would have to agree with her. I was bullied mercilessly in school because I was 5'4" and 150lbs when most girls were 5'7" and 135 or less. I still suffer from major self image problems because I was the "fat girl" for so long. (And that's at 150, imagine what a girl who was obese would have been subjected to!)

Four years later and 20 pounds less, I have met 4 of my male bullies outside of school. Two of them hit on me very blatantly and the other two didn't realize who I was. I politely declined to speak with them for an extended period of time, and silently patted myself on the back.

Ever since I lost weight I have been told I look younger, happier, and have doors held for me MUCH more frequently. I have also been hit on about once a month. While I'd love to chalk it up to confidence, I have always been a very outgoing person. I really believe that at least some of the attention I get is because I am in good shape.

For the most part, the female reactions to me haven't changed much. Girl's that bullied me in school still don't like me. I have noticed however, that as I got more active, my newer female friends also tended to be about my size and active as well.

Edit: I will add this. My fiance was my high school crush and he thought I was cute at my heaviest. He has been very supportive of my weight loss (especially since exercise helps me deal with stress). He has made it very clear that he loves having a hot girlfriend now, but he never really thought I needed to lose weight.

bm99

I am perfectly ok with the fact that people are generally nicer to people they find attractive. I have been thin and gotten all kinds of positive attention, frankly I prefer the invisibility cloak of 100 pounds I put on with my twins.

As long as everyone has a general standard of courtesy and treats EVERYONE with basic respect, I could not care less who they give preference to.

Edit: Forgot to add, often it has nothing to do with weight. A bright smile and cheery Hello will get you farther than staring at the ground and hoping no one notices how fat you are. Confidence has everything to do with others perceiving you as attractive.

jadedone

To the guy who said fat chicks are not attractive....

I don't know about anyone else but in my opinion YOU are not attractive for posting this. I'm thin, which means I am vain and *****y? Well, excuse me but you're a b*tch.

You should really read the accompanying article in glamour. It is all about how people are perceived based on their weight. The full image has other positive comments attributed to thinness around self-discipline etc. It is a very interesting article, and not meant to be a dig on larger or smaller women. Just a discussion how we make assumptions about people based on their weight.

catharinerebecca

I have been over weight most of my life. I was never the girl that all the guys wanted or treated well. I have seen that girls that are skinny are treated better. I have gotten lots of rude and hurtful comments due to my weight. You could say that they are just jerks, but that is society. I would love to be whistled and be treated like a princess. I know it is sad to say but it is a motivation.

bm99

I have been over weight most of my life. I was never the girl that all the guys wanted or treated well. I have seen that girls that are skinny are treated better. I have gotten lots of rude and hurtful comments due to my weight. You could say that they are just jerks, but that is society. I would love to be whistled and be treated like a princess. I know it is sad to say but it is a motivation.

So instead of being treated like an object and abused because you are overweight, you would like to be an object that is admired? Catcalls and whistles are not being treated well or signs of respect. It's the SAME kind of person who does both, the same kind of man who feels he has the right to make rude and hurtful comments about your body is the same man who will make "nice" comments about your body. They ARE jerks.

Please look for a man who will find you attractive AND respect you!

JulieH3art

I have to admit that when I was overweight I had a "dry spell". I didn't realise my BMI had climbed so high myself, so I still went for the slim, attractive guys I'd always gone for.. and they somehow didn't exhibit the same amount of interest in me.

(except this one person but thats a long story so phooey it never happened)

The point is, I didn't have a boyfriend, and I had to work harder for attention from guys.

yoovie

I get it.

40Marbles

I hear ya..because nothing turns me off faster than seeing a man with big ole titties!!!

Oh..damn..sorry dude...I wasn't talkin about YOUR BIG OLE TITTIES...just men in general, with big ole titties like yours.

Idiot :-/

Post of the week! :-)

TheBraveryLover

I've gotten that same treatment when I was at my heaviest and I still get it now. Some people just have the confidence that draws attention no matter what their size. Perhaps when you were slimmer, you exuded more confidence.

I'm sure the ignored feeling and rude comments happen to a lot of big women, but I've just never experienced it myself. I'm aware that my situation might be an anomaly.

Silver_Star

The other day i heard someone say in passing " Girrrlll you need som mo' junk in your trunk"...

Then there are others who will look past me and give special treatment to a slimmer girl..

I cant please anyone:laugh:

tlc12078

I am sorry, when I get thin, No man is getting the time of day. They can look but dont talk to me, you might not like what your gonna hear.

secretlobster

In my personal experience, which is the REALITY I have lived with and not some magical world where everyone is treated as an equal yet unique beautiful snowflake...

... I get smiled at, talked to, and treated better as a thin woman than I did as a thick woman. And I don't think it's because I'm smiling more.

Sorry if you don't like hearing that, it's just the truth as far as I've personally lived it.

JulieH3art

Agreed, lobster. I don't smile at ANY weight :P Just kidding, of course, but I generally act the same.

jessilee119

Fat chicks are not attractive. I also don't find sickly skinny chicks attractive either, but I'd take that over an over weight woman. But I'd pass on both options really. What you look like on the outside is a VERY quick read for how your brain works and I can quickly assess traits I am not interested in.

I hear ya..because nothing turns me off faster than seeing a man with big ole titties!!!

Oh..damn..sorry dude...I wasn't talkin about YOUR BIG OLE TITTIES...just men in general, with big ole titties like yours.

Idiot :-/

I don't know what's funnier...some of these comments or the fact that we're getting riled up over a topic that is completely subjective :laugh:

KBGirts

I'm sorry but I'd have to disagree. Men like women. All women. All kinds of women. Big women, Thin women, Small breasted women, large breasted women, african american women, asian women, caucasian women, WOMEN.

And I will tell you- I have heard this SO many times- the most attractive thing about ANY woman is confidence. A woman who exudes confidence is extremely sexy and desireable.

Perhaps when you are "thinner" you are more confident and have a more extroverted personality? Maybe thats why women are jealous and men find you irresistable.

Women on here who go from mordibly obese to slightly overweight and make great strides in their body's appearance are extremely attractive. Whether they are "thin" or not, they know how hard they've worked to get there and it shows.

Just my thoughts!

Thanks! I have been overweight most of my adult life.... let's say 25-30. When I was a teenager to 25 I was thin to normal. I have not noticed a difference in how men treat me. I exude confidence and most men are sweeties, so no.... I haven't notice.

secretlobster

Also the OP asked what your personal experiences are, not whether or not it's OK to be mean to fat people. Of course we "should" treat everyone equally, but that's not how things really work. I'm not sure why anyone is arguing over this topic.

bcattoes

I'm sorry but I'd have to disagree. Men like women. All women. All kinds of women. Big women, Thin women, Small breasted women, large breasted women, african american women, asian women, caucasian women, WOMEN.

And I will tell you- I have heard this SO many times- the most attractive thing about ANY woman is confidence. A woman who exudes confidence is extremely sexy and desireable.

Perhaps when you are "thinner" you are more confident and have a more extroverted personality? Maybe thats why women are jealous and men find you irresistable.

Women on here who go from mordibly obese to slightly overweight and make great strides in their body's appearance are extremely attractive. Whether they are "thin" or not, they know how hard they've worked to get there and it shows.

Just my thoughts!

I would tend to agree with this. I've been thin most of my life, and never been obese, but I've found that when I'm happy and friendly both men and women tend to like me more. Sure, there are some catty women that just don't like any attractive women, but I think that is more due to their own low self esteem than what I look like. But I don't ever purposely present myself as better looking than another woman, even if I think I am, because beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

MrsORourke

Fat chicks are not attractive. I also don't find sickly skinny chicks attractive either, but I'd take that over an over weight woman. But I'd pass on both options really. What you look like on the outside is a VERY quick read for how your brain works and I can quickly assess traits I am not interested in.

I have a friend that belongs to a BBW appreciation group that has nothing but mad love and respect for the BBW ladies out there. Just because it's not what turns YOUR crank, doesn't mean you get to be a complete asshat and bash. This is the wrong place for that!

BuckeyeLife

Fat chicks are not attractive. I also don't find sickly skinny chicks attractive either, but I'd take that over an over weight woman. But I'd pass on both options really. What you look like on the outside is a VERY quick read for how your brain works and I can quickly assess traits I am not interested in.

what a shallow jerk! I dont care if they lock the thread! the nerve of you... especially since you're not exactly small yourself...

sooo ignorant!

Is he a shallow jerk? He was honest. I don't like super skinny guys and I don't like fat guys. I did a lot of visual judging when I was in the dating world before getting to know the person. Its human nature.

Yeah, I am not shallow at all. I find plenty of females attractive. But apparently knowing what I find attractive makes me a shallow jerk, so be it. I am happy, I know what I want, and I certainly don't care if I offend random people on the internet.

Oh and as for the "I'm not small" thing. Oh really? I didn't notice... That might be why I am losing weight, as my girlfriend and I had an open discussion about her finding me more attractive if I lost weight. I wouldn't EVER fault a person for finding me less attractive the way I looked/still look. You don't buy a painting you don't want to look at to hang in your house. Just sayin. I never said I was a nice person, but I certainly am not asking out someone I find unattractive, and unhealthy people are unattractive. (Yes, that means I consider myself unattractive, OMG who would have thought.)

BuckeyeLife

To the guy who said fat chicks are not attractive....



I think the one on the left is jealous of the one on the right.

I'll assume you meant me. Did you miss the part where I said under weight/sickly skinny was unattractive as well? I said I'd only take skinny over fat, but I'd pass on both. (And have, for a few years in my life.)

secretlobster

Haha I love how every subjective thread turns into "HOW DARE YOU NOT BE ATTRACTED TO FAT CHICKS"

EmCarroll1990

Fat chicks are not attractive. I also don't find sickly skinny chicks attractive either, but I'd take that over an over weight woman. But I'd pass on both options really. What you look like on the outside is a VERY quick read for how your brain works and I can quickly assess traits I am not interested in.

I have a friend that belongs to a BBW appreciation group that has nothing but mad love and respect for the BBW ladies out there. Just because it's not what turns YOUR crank, doesn't mean you get to be a complete asshat and bash. This is the wrong place for that!

Honestly, the OP asked for opinions and he gave it. God forbid someone be honest about something on this site. Sure, he could have done it with a little more tact, but he was honest. And to be realistic, the majority of the general public would choose a thinner person over an overweight person. And from a super quick Google search of "BBW" it seems more of a fetish.

EmCarroll1990

Haha I love how every subjective thread turns into "HOW DARE YOU NOT BE ATTRACTED TO FAT CHICKS"

RIGHT?

osualex

I've pretty much been treated the same forever, at all weights...I'm not a super confident person, but I am reasonably attractive and wear my weight well, and strangers are usually nice to me. I'm at the same weight I was my freshman year of college and I got plenty of attention from men then (I live in Europe now...sadly I don't get as much attention here *sniff*) I started dating my ex when I was 10 pounds heavier than my current weight and I got up to over 200 pounds with him, and he was attracted to me throughout our entire relationship.

Now that I know what I am capable of, I feel more confident, but i'm treated the same now as I was at 130 pounds and 200 pounds. Perhaps if I had been very skinny, or morbidly obese, I would have been treated differently, but I've been within the spectrum of an average weight (I guess?) my whole life.