MEN.. HELP..!! (maybe women moms of pre-teens or teen..)

Newf77

Just to catch you up on the poll here; the majority of the males are telling you to drop the subject, leave your son alone and move on. The females want you to pull out charts and graphs and have an intense conversation with him about a topic that really is not needed at this time.

Simple IMO, Do not have a discussion with him at this point in time
You stated in your profile that you have a husband {unless deployed} tell him in private tonight about the event and let
him handle the discussion at a later point in time.

TheDoctor90

Just to catch you up on the poll here; the majority of the males are telling you to drop the subject, leave your son alone and move on. The females want you to pull out charts and graphs and have an intense conversation with him about a topic that really is not needed at this time.

Simple IMO, Do not have a discussion with him at thois point in time
You stated in your profile that you have a husband {unless deployed} tell him in private tonight about the event and let
him handle the discussion at a later point in time.

We have a winner!

nwhitley

I'm not sure why some are saying not to have the "talk". He is 12 and chances are he has already had the discussion. I teach 5th grade and the girls get the talk in 4th and 5th and the boys get it in 5th. Masturbating is part of sexual activity. If he is masturbating, then he needs the "talk" from an adult parent/guardian, if he hasn't already had it so that he understands how his body works, etc. I'm assuming he is in middle school. As a parent of a middle school child, some children are already sexually active, have seen some sexual activity on tv/movies, etc. Lack of information and misinformation is how many babies are born.

Jordant107

Just to catch you up on the poll here; the majority of the males are telling you to drop the subject, leave your son alone and move on. The females want you to pull out charts and graphs and have an intense conversation with him about a topic that really is not needed at this time.

Simple IMO, Do not have a discussion with him at thois point in time
You stated in your profile that you have a husband {unless deployed} tell him in private tonight about the event and let
him handle the discussion at a later point in time.

We have a winner!

I have to agree!!

hbrittingham

Just to catch you up on the poll here; the majority of the males are telling you to drop the subject, leave your son alone and move on. The females want you to pull out charts and graphs and have an intense conversation with him about a topic that really is not needed at this time.

Simple IMO, Do not have a discussion with him at this point in time
You stated in your profile that you have a husband {unless deployed} tell him in private tonight about the event and let
him handle the discussion at a later point in time.

I know I am not the only woman who said leave him alone about it.

Jersey_Devil

Just to catch you up on the poll here; the majority of the males are telling you to drop the subject, leave your son alone and move on. The females want you to pull out charts and graphs and have an intense conversation with him about a topic that really is not needed at this time.

Simple IMO, Do not have a discussion with him at this point in time
You stated in your profile that you have a husband {unless deployed} tell him in private tonight about the event and let
him handle the discussion at a later point in time.

taunto

Just to catch you up on the poll here; the majority of the males are telling you to drop the subject, leave your son alone and move on. The females want you to pull out charts and graphs and have an intense conversation with him about a topic that really is not needed at this time.

Simple IMO, Do not have a discussion with him at this point in time
You stated in your profile that you have a husband {unless deployed} tell him in private tonight about the event and let
him handle the discussion at a later point in time.

Pretty much this. Let the male in the family talk about it. Not you. The male in this thread are NOT against the talk (which you already have had) and we certainly want the kid to know about safe sex and everything but NOT by a woman, most of all, certainly not by the childs mother

Jordant107

Just to catch you up on the poll here; the majority of the males are telling you to drop the subject, leave your son alone and move on. The females want you to pull out charts and graphs and have an intense conversation with him about a topic that really is not needed at this time.

Simple IMO, Do not have a discussion with him at this point in time
You stated in your profile that you have a husband {unless deployed} tell him in private tonight about the event and let
him handle the discussion at a later point in time.

Pretty much this. Let the male in the family talk about it. Not you. The male in this thread are NOT against the talk (which you already have had) and we certainly want the kid to know about safe sex and everything but NOT by a woman, most of all, certainly not by the childs mother

Yup- this!

taunto

I'm not sure why some are saying not to have the "talk". He is 12 and chances are he has already had the discussion. I teach 5th grade and the girls get the talk in 4th and 5th and the boys get it in 5th. Masturbating is part of sexual activity. If he is masturbating, then he needs the "talk" from an adult parent/guardian, if he hasn't already had it so that he understands how his body works, etc. I'm assuming he is in middle school. As a parent of a middle school child, some children are already sexually active, have seen some sexual activity on tv/movies, etc. Lack of information and misinformation is how many babies are born.

Please, read the OP's thread. He was given the talk already. And all the men in here are encouraging the talk about sex and the talk about safe sex with the kid, just not by the mother. I know it must be hard to realize but not everything in the childs life have to be done by the mother. If the father isn't present, have some other male role in the family have the talk to him. Or his teacher at school or something. NOT his mother

iam_thatdude

Leave that kid alone....a mom shoulx NEVER talk to a son about this....

ELENA_Z

ok well just an update here.. He broke the ice by first asking me about if its ok for him to ask a girl to go to the movies withus next weekend.. i said sure but we might need to ask the parents ok first.. then i just told him that next time he needs to "scratch" lock the door because i wouldn't want his baby brothers to walk in on him and see something they wouldn't understand. I forgot who mentioned it but yes i am married but hes not the biological dad and my husband doesn't do well with these situations.. so anything that has to do with my oldest i take care of. and a for the sex talk i have explained how babys are made without the wwhole penis and vagina introduction. he knows i wouldn't want him to have sex till hes mature enough to deal with the consequences of pregnancy or anything like that.. he knows about stds and all. i just felt he is way to young for this already i didnt think it would happen till maybe when he was 15 or older..

Jersey_Devil

15? oh no. 12 years old is definitely normal.

peachNpunkin

He's 12 years old. Let him discover what his body is suppose to do. It is normal for boys this age to start to discover what their man parts are really for. Just tell him that it is normal, to not be embarrassed and if he has questions refer him to a male he looks up to and trusts.

taunto

ok well just an update here.. He broke the ice by first asking me about if its ok for him to ask a girl to go to the movies withus next weekend.. i said sure but we might need to ask the parents ok first.. then i just told him that next time he needs to "scratch" lock the door because i wouldn't want his baby brothers to walk in on him and see something they wouldn't understand. I forgot who mentioned it but yes i am married but hes not the biological dad and my husband doesn't do well with these situations.. so anything that has to do with my oldest i take care of. and a for the sex talk i have explained how babys are made without the wwhole penis and vagina introduction. he knows i wouldn't want him to have sex till hes mature enough to deal with the consequences of pregnancy or anything like that.. he knows about stds and all. i just felt he is way to young for this already i didnt think it would happen till maybe when he was 15 or older..

I dunno how other men vote in this matter but I think you acted appropriately with the situation at hand. You weren't direct but you sent the message to be discreet about these things. 15 is way too old, 12 sounds about the typical age. You should ask the bio father or your husband to talk to him about safe sex though. At this age reminding him again about the dangers of these things isn't a bad idea

BrettPGH

ok well just an update here.. He broke the ice by first asking me about if its ok for him to ask a girl to go to the movies withus next weekend.. i said sure but we might need to ask the parents ok first.. then i just told him that next time he needs to "scratch" lock the door because i wouldn't want his baby brothers to walk in on him and see something they wouldn't understand. I forgot who mentioned it but yes i am married but hes not the biological dad and my husband doesn't do well with these situations.. so anything that has to do with my oldest i take care of. and a for the sex talk i have explained how babys are made without the wwhole penis and vagina introduction. he knows i wouldn't want him to have sex till hes mature enough to deal with the consequences of pregnancy or anything like that.. he knows about stds and all. i just felt he is way to young for this already i didnt think it would happen till maybe when he was 15 or older..

Mom you've done great. Situation handled beautifully without the awkwardness. And thank god no charts and graphs!

They grow up so much faster than we think. It's always a little sad.

taunto

ok well just an update here.. He broke the ice by first asking me about if its ok for him to ask a girl to go to the movies withus next weekend.. i said sure but we might need to ask the parents ok first.. then i just told him that next time he needs to "scratch" lock the door because i wouldn't want his baby brothers to walk in on him and see something they wouldn't understand. I forgot who mentioned it but yes i am married but hes not the biological dad and my husband doesn't do well with these situations.. so anything that has to do with my oldest i take care of. and a for the sex talk i have explained how babys are made without the wwhole penis and vagina introduction. he knows i wouldn't want him to have sex till hes mature enough to deal with the consequences of pregnancy or anything like that.. he knows about stds and all. i just felt he is way to young for this already i didnt think it would happen till maybe when he was 15 or older..

Mom you've done great. Situation handled beautifully without the awkwardness. And thank god no charts and graphs!

They grow up so much faster than we think. It's always a little sad.

ELENA_Z

ok well just an update here.. He broke the ice by first asking me about if its ok for him to ask a girl to go to the movies withus next weekend.. i said sure but we might need to ask the parents ok first.. then i just told him that next time he needs to "scratch" lock the door because i wouldn't want his baby brothers to walk in on him and see something they wouldn't understand. I forgot who mentioned it but yes i am married but hes not the biological dad and my husband doesn't do well with these situations.. so anything that has to do with my oldest i take care of. and a for the sex talk i have explained how babys are made without the wwhole penis and vagina introduction. he knows i wouldn't want him to have sex till hes mature enough to deal with the consequences of pregnancy or anything like that.. he knows about stds and all. i just felt he is way to young for this already i didnt think it would happen till maybe when he was 15 or older..

Mom you've done great. Situation handled beautifully without the awkwardness. And thank god no charts and graphs!

They grow up so much faster than we think. It's always a little sad.

lol.. omg he would've bolted if i had pulled out charts ike these.

ELENA_Z

i think its my realization that hes no longer the little boy who woud sit and watch barney and eat crackers as i snuck out to work Hes growing and I cant stop it..

gpstrucker

Just apologize and tell him you will knock next time. I'm sure he is probably just as mortified as you.

^^^This^^^

gpstrucker

I'm not sure why some are saying not to have the "talk". He is 12 and chances are he has already had the discussion. I teach 5th grade and the girls get the talk in 4th and 5th and the boys get it in 5th. Masturbating is part of sexual activity. If he is masturbating, then he needs the "talk" from an adult parent/guardian, if he hasn't already had it so that he understands how his body works, etc. I'm assuming he is in middle school. As a parent of a middle school child, some children are already sexually active, have seen some sexual activity on tv/movies, etc. Lack of information and misinformation is how many babies are born.

He's had "the talk" according to the OP. But to your question it really quite simple. This is NOT something a boy wants to discuss with his mother. Period.