Successful showoffs??Sick and tired of this.

rima933

Why are there so many people on here that have lost weight, and succeeded, who act like they are big shots? They feel like they are so much better than everyone else. They decline friend requests, they're so rude, and when you ask them questions for help they ignore you. I am so sick and tired of these show-offs. Congratulations for your success, but seriously stop acting like you can step all over everyone else. If i ever reach my goal, I will make sure to help out anyone that needs me, but I cant say the same for everyone else.:huh:

Lady_Bane

I understand the gloating bc they are proud, but you dont see me posting my 6-pack all over the place....it makes others feel bad.

bm99

If they're already at their goal, chances are they've been on this site forever and are already keeping up with a bajillion friends. And probably get another bajillion "WAT AM I DOIN WRONG IM NOT LOSIN WEIGHHHHTTTTT" mails a day. Unless "so many" people are actually responding personally and rudely, I really don't see an issue in some people choosing not to accept requests or reply to mails.

gpstrucker

Haven't run across this issue myself.

SuperCork

I feel bad that this has been your experience, but there are SO many people on this site that you are bound to find at least a few of the people you seek soon enough. I can tell you that one of the people on my FL is definitely one of the "success stories" on this site, is VERY popular, and routinely denies friend requestes because her FL is currently over 200 and she struggles to feel like she gives even a small number of those people any attention. Also, remember, you don't know how many people are requesting the same information as you. Again, I don't want to shut down your feelings/opinion because they belong to you and are valid, but just thought I could maybe share a little insight.

Best to you both.

Ariberri9

I haven't been on MFP very long, but I've noticed that there are way more friendly people than cocky people. You just have to look in the right places. :flowerforyou:

PinkEarthMama

I am sorry you feel that way.

takingnameskickingbutt

I have people on my FL who are starting their journey and who are at the end. Just get the right friends and they don't have to be the MFP in-crowd!

Lozze

Eh I decline a number of friends requests. I'm quite happy with my current group of friends and don't feel the need to accept every request. The ones that can't even read my profile are declined immeaditly (it says right there that i prefer a message when requesting) If it's a 'let's do this together' I get a bit wary. Most I accept though.

You also need to realize that for those who have been here a long time we realize that most people will be here a short time anyways. It's the nature of the beast.

If that makes me a big shot meh. It's the Internet.

Trail_Addict

Why are there so many people on here that have lost weight, and succeeded, who act like they are big shots? They feel like they are so much better than everyone else. They decline friend requests, they're so rude, and when you ask them questions for help they ignore you. I am so sick and tired of these show-offs. Congratulations for your success, but seriously stop acting like you can step all over everyone else. If i ever reach my goal, I will make sure to help out anyone that needs me, but I cant say the same for everyone else.:huh:

Wow! There are a lot of reasons to not accept friend requests. And not everyone can or wants to be fielding questions all day. This forum is full of helpful people. Try to not get so bent out of shape when people don't drop what they're doing just for you.

LiviLou2011

I know what ur talking about, when i first got on this website, there was this woman that lost alot of weight and i was like wow what an inspiration, she was one of the first people that i added and i swear not even a couple days later she deleted me for no reason, i was kinda sad because i was like wow this can happen i can do this..and then i was like whatever if shes gonna be that way she wasnt a very good person.

dovesgate

I feel bad that this has been your experience, but there are SO many people on this site that you are bound to find at least a few of the people you seek soon enough. I can tell you that one of the people on my FL is definitely one of the "success stories" on this site, is VERY popular, and routinely denies friend requestes because her FL is currently over 200 and she struggles to feel like she gives even a small number of those people any attention. Also, remember, you don't know how many people are requesting the same information as you. Again, I don't want to shut down your feelings/opinion because they belong to you and are valid, but just thought I could maybe share a little insight.

Best to you both.

Ditto.

susannamarie

So ... how much of their day should someone who's been successful at losing weight be compelled to spend answering messages they receive?

EvilPink

Why are there so many people on here that have lost weight, and succeeded, who act like they are big shots? They feel like they are so much better than everyone else. They decline friend requests, they're so rude, and when you ask them questions for help they ignore you. I am so sick and tired of these show-offs. Congratulations for your success, but seriously stop acting like you can step all over everyone else. If i ever reach my goal, I will make sure to help out anyone that needs me, but I cant say the same for everyone else.:huh:

Ummm, how about because they are? Whether it was 5 lbs or 300 lbs, struggling with the mental and physical issues that come with excess weight is a huge challenge and if one reaches their goal; they've accomplished a huge feat in life by working hard and they DESERVE to flaunt it! Not only that, but for many here, it serves as encouragement, motivation, and help on our own journey.

As far as ignoring someone for help or declining request or being "rude", there could be a million reasons for it. MFP has many glitches; they've been fixing a ton of them all weekend. I can't tell you how many times I get a friend request or an e-mail that doesn't show up for days. Or, someone comments on my feed and I don't get notified of it right away and it's weeks later before I see it. At this very moment, I have a friend request that I've approved 4 times and yet I still have the notification bar pop up telling me that I have a friend request; it seems to be stuck in some kind of MFP friend limbo.

And some people just don't want to add any ole internet stranger to their friends list either; imagine wanting to get to know someone a little better before just letting them be your "friend." Now that's real uppity; the nerve! Good grief...please someone tell me that this topic doesn't really exist and that I'm delirious from too low a carb intake. BTW...should I be eating back my exercise calories? :laugh:

dovesgate

I know what ur talking about, when i first got on this website, there was this woman that lost alot of weight and i was like wow what an inspiration, she was one of the first people that i added and i swear not even a couple days later she deleted me for no reason, i was kinda sad because i was like wow this can happen i can do this..and then i was like whatever if shes gonna be that way she wasnt a very good person.

I'm sure it wasn't personal. Some of the highly successful people on here are trying to juggle huge friend lists. Sometimes cuts just have to be made and sometimes the new people or quiet people have to go.

rima933

Why are there so many people on here that have lost weight, and succeeded, who act like they are big shots? They feel like they are so much better than everyone else. They decline friend requests, they're so rude, and when you ask them questions for help they ignore you. I am so sick and tired of these show-offs. Congratulations for your success, but seriously stop acting like you can step all over everyone else. If i ever reach my goal, I will make sure to help out anyone that needs me, but I cant say the same for everyone else.:huh:

I would like to add that I have alot of friends on my FL that have been there long that are soo open to helping out. And I definately appreciate them, and their support. But lately, I have come across a few who have been very rude (not to me) to others. And I Cant stand seeing people get treated so bad. Sometimes people don't have to be rude right to your face, but they come across in an arrogant manner.

AllTehBeers

If they're already at their goal, chances are they've been on this site forever and are already keeping up with a bajillion friends. And probably get another bajillion "WAT AM I DOIN WRONG IM NOT LOSIN WEIGHHHHTTTTT" mails a day. Unless "so many" people are actually responding personally and rudely, I really don't see an issue in some people choosing not to accept requests or reply to mails.

This.

Eh I decline a number of friends requests. I'm quite happy with my current group of friends and don't feel the need to accept every request. The ones that can't even read my profile are declined immeaditly (it says right there that i prefer a message when requesting) If it's a 'let's do this together' I get a bit wary. Most I accept though.

You also need to realize that for those who have been here a long time we realize that most people will be here a short time anyways. It's the nature of the beast.

If that makes me a big shot meh. It's the Internet.

And this.

I also now state I like a message with my friend requests. I send a message to people who I want to be friends with so why can't others? I like to have fun, active and informative people on my list, not just a huge number of friends.

SuperCork

I know what ur talking about, when i first got on this website, there was this woman that lost alot of weight and i was like wow what an inspiration, she was one of the first people that i added and i swear not even a couple days later she deleted me for no reason, i was kinda sad because i was like wow this can happen i can do this..and then i was like whatever if shes gonna be that way she wasnt a very good person.

I would <i>strongly</i> recommend you don't take something like this so personally or extrapolate a person's value based on being deleted from a FL. Seems a bit short-sighted, especially in light of what several of us have pointed out. There are a TON of great people on this site, but ultimately each person is most concerned with him/herself and that's okay--it's called MY fitness pal, not our fitness pal

MsQt

Eh I decline a number of friends requests. I'm quite happy with my current group of friends and don't feel the need to accept every request. The ones that can't even read my profile are declined immeaditly (it says right there that i prefer a message when requesting) If it's a 'let's do this together' I get a bit wary. Most I accept though.

You also need to realize that for those who have been here a long time we realize that most people will be here a short time anyways. It's the nature of the beast.

If that makes me a big shot meh. It's the Internet.

I second this except for accepting most. I'm content with the pals that I have and don't need to be overwhelmed with more and Yes I post my success photos because I worked hard for it. good luck on finding a good group of great pals because it took me a lot of weeding out to get the ones I got!

Umeboshi

Just because someone is successful doesn't mean they owe everyone help. And what's wrong with being proud of what you've accomplished?

Trail_Addict

I know what ur talking about, when i first got on this website, there was this woman that lost alot of weight and i was like wow what an inspiration, she was one of the first people that i added and i swear not even a couple days later she deleted me for no reason, i was kinda sad because i was like wow this can happen i can do this..and then i was like whatever if shes gonna be that way she wasnt a very good person.

I'm sure it wasn't personal. Some of the highly successful people on here are trying to juggle huge friend lists. Sometimes cuts just have to be made and sometimes the new people or quiet people have to go.

THIS!

I routinely cut people from my list if we don't interact. I want friends that interact with me. I don't want just everybody filling up my feed if we don't interact. That's the least I can expect from a MFP "Friend.

giantruss

my experience on mfp has been great and "most " ppl on here have been awsome and really my motivation.

i hope your experience improves

Papillon22

Haven't run across this issue myself.

Me neither. Your post surprises me and makes me think you've had a negative experience with someone in particular. Try to not take it personally. This is the internet after all.

SuperCork

I would like to add that I have alot of friends on my FL that have been there long that are soo open to helping out. And I definately appreciate them, and their support. But lately, I have come across a few who have been very rude (not to me) to others. And I Cant stand seeing people get treated so bad. Sometimes people don't have to be rude right to your face, but they come across in an arrogant manner.

Again, I am not attempting to discount the validity of your opinion, but your last sentence strikes me as...well, the way someone "comes across", in my opinion and life experience, has a heck of a lot more to do with how the person of the recieving end percieves the world than it does with how the first person is actually acting in a majority of situations. Not a hard and fast true, but VERY true as far as I am concerned. I just recommend you don't take these things so personally--not doing so will serve you very well on MFP and in life

torie079

I'm sure youll get over it...

rima933

I know what ur talking about, when i first got on this website, there was this woman that lost alot of weight and i was like wow what an inspiration, she was one of the first people that i added and i swear not even a couple days later she deleted me for no reason, i was kinda sad because i was like wow this can happen i can do this..and then i was like whatever if shes gonna be that way she wasnt a very good person.

Exactly!!

brookepenni

Why are there so many people on here that have lost weight, and succeeded, who act like they are big shots? They feel like they are so much better than everyone else. They decline friend requests, they're so rude, and when you ask them questions for help they ignore you. I am so sick and tired of these show-offs. Congratulations for your success, but seriously stop acting like you can step all over everyone else. If i ever reach my goal, I will make sure to help out anyone that needs me, but I cant say the same for everyone else.:huh:

Ouch! I posted a success story in January sometime and got about 50 friend requests from it. I was very selective with who I accepted, and as a general rule dont accept blank friend requests (it also says so on my profile) - I actually only accepted maybe 12 from this time. The thing is, while I want everyone here to succeed, so many wont. In life (and on the internet) I try to surround myself with positive and motivated people and thats the nature of the friend requests I have. Ive deleted a few people after adding them a few days/weeks earlier because I see they arent actually trying (eating 'bad' food for days on end and then constantly changing their status update to how unfair it is that this doesnt work for them for example). I try and keep my friend list managable - I work, study and train - I rarely hve time to comment on my friends as it is, without accepting more and more on a daily basis.

The thing is - this can and does work. People here put too much into relying on others - relying on them for inspiration, motivation and to be honest - justification and gratification to be here. People need to remember that noone is responsible for your success/happiness/journey other than yourself. So what if someone doesnt accept you - do you really need a random stranger to acknowledge your existance on the internet? Find someone else. Stop being so soft and letting this bother you. Pick yourself up, dust off and keep going with your journey.

And if my success and the lack of me wanting to assist you in yours bothers you - like Lozze says - meh, this is the internet. Im not going to stop being shiney, or as you call it - a show off - because I have no more room on my friendlist! Im proud of my achievement and recording it somewhere makes me feel prouder.

waffleflavoredtea

If they're already at their goal, chances are they've been on this site forever and are already keeping up with a bajillion friends. And probably get another bajillion "WAT AM I DOIN WRONG IM NOT LOSIN WEIGHHHHTTTTT" mails a day. Unless "so many" people are actually responding personally and rudely, I really don't see an issue in some people choosing not to accept requests or reply to mails.

this no reason to rant, they are showing off their success, yes, but if it bothers you click the 'x' button on their profile or forum post.

kari574

If they're already at their goal, chances are they've been on this site forever and are already keeping up with a bajillion friends. And probably get another bajillion "WAT AM I DOIN WRONG IM NOT LOSIN WEIGHHHHTTTTT" mails a day. Unless "so many" people are actually responding personally and rudely, I really don't see an issue in some people choosing not to accept requests or reply to mails.

Agreed.

PosyPods

I haven't actually witnessed this (but I've only been here for a bit over two months).

Also, no one is required to add you to their FL or to reply to messages. It's not rude on their part. You're the one imposing yourself on them, so they don't owe you anything, in my opinion.

Still, I hope you have better luck finding what you're looking for.

rima933

Why are there so many people on here that have lost weight, and succeeded, who act like they are big shots? They feel like they are so much better than everyone else. They decline friend requests, they're so rude, and when you ask them questions for help they ignore you. I am so sick and tired of these show-offs. Congratulations for your success, but seriously stop acting like you can step all over everyone else. If i ever reach my goal, I will make sure to help out anyone that needs me, but I cant say the same for everyone else.:huh:

Ummm, how about because they are? Whether it was 5 lbs or 300 lbs, struggling with the mental and physical issues that come with excess weight is a huge challenge and if one reaches their goal; they've accomplished a huge feat in life by working hard and they DESERVE to flaunt it! Not only that, but for many here, it serves as encouragement, motivation, and help on our own journey.

As far as ignoring someone for help or declining request or being "rude", there could be a million reasons for it. MFP has many glitches; they've been fixing a ton of them all weekend. I can't tell you how many times I get a friend request or an e-mail that doesn't show up for days. Or, someone comments on my feed and I don't get notified of it right away and it's weeks later before I see it. At this very moment, I have a friend request that I've approved 4 times and yet I still have the notification bar pop up telling me that I have a friend request; it seems to be stuck in some kind of MFP friend limbo.

And some people just don't want to add any ole internet stranger to their friends list either; imagine wanting to get to know someone a little better before just letting them be your "friend." Now that's real uppity; the nerve! Good grief...please someone tell me that this topic doesn't really exist and that I'm delirious from too low a carb intake. BTW...should I be eating back my exercise calories? :laugh:

Seriously your arrogance is the number one reason that this topic was posted. Get off your high horse.