Successful showoffs??Sick and tired of this.

Brandicaloriecountess

I don't think it is about successful, I think it is more about "popularity" I get a few requests a day, some I accept some I don't.
I already have a hard time interacting with the people I have on my list now. But I always answer people's questions if they personally ask me. I don't reply on the forums to the same question over and over though.

rima933

I have seen SO MUCH of this. You see people asking for help, and yes, it's usually the same question over and over...but you almost ALWAYS see the arrogant p.o.s.'s going into those forums and tearing down the OP. It's like...who the hell do you think you are? You lost some weight. Big. Freaking. Deal. It's not like you won a gold medal in the Olympics. But then they go and flaunt it to everyone else.

Totally get where you're coming from. People suck.

I don't think is has any thing to do with whether they've lost weight - I think some of the reasons for those comments from posters comes from your first sentence, "yes, it's usually the same question over and over..." Which is exactly why in my first post I made the joke about eating back my exercise calories. It's not meant to be self-righteous or rude, for those of us that are on here daily, we see that same question (and many others) asked, sometimes literally, 10 times a day. It's just become the common joke for the ones who have been around for a while. I don't think there's any harm meant in it or that it's arrogance because they've lost 50 lbs or whatever, it's simply a running MFP joke because it happens day after day after day when all people have to do is search the board for an answer to their question before posting. Yes, sometimes that doesn't always yield the answer so by all means, post away with the question but other times, the silliness of the redundant posts just becomes a joke. Nothing more to be read into it.

See, I disagree. I think that, because you have 'been here' for so long, you think you have seniority/know whats best/etc etc. THAT'S being self-righteous, and mocking people because they ask serious questions, even if you have seen it a thousand times before, is RUDE and completely uncalled for. They have questions and are looking for serious answers. That's what this whole site is for!

If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all.

^^^^THIS, Thankyou

nursenelson

Good grief...please someone tell me that this topic doesn't really exist and that I'm delirious from too low a carb intake. BTW...should I be eating back my exercise calories? :laugh:
[/quote]
BAHAHAHAHAHA awesome!

SuperCork

Any time we put any part of ourselves out there for any type of public consumption, we *must* be prepared to recieve unwanted things and take responsibility for our role in that. Don't like what someone has to say? Stop reading. Don't like what people say back to you? Don't give them the opportunity to begin with. Own your life.

L00py_T0ucan

Congratulations for your success, but seriously stop acting like you can step all over everyone else.

^ Honestly...I don't see so much of this. I wouldn't get that bent out of shape over it - it's not worth it.
Do your thing...live well. :flowerforyou:

CharisSunny

I havent had this experience here (first day and all) BUT I have had this issue on YouTube where I have an active weightloss channel.

There's a fine line between privacy/limiting friends and being snooty/aloof/condescending.

Chipmaniac

Jerks come in all forms. Just because someone used to be overweight and has overcome it doesn't automatically make them a good person. It's like a person who has been poor and becomes rich. Some people are humbled and feel blessed and pay their success forward. Others forget where they came from and become selfish and narcissistic. The same goes with weight loss.

downsizinghoss

Just as a side note. If you put any banned words in a FR, it just disappears. Any curse words, even the word "Boobies" has been confirmed to cause a FR to disappear. No message to the sender and no notification to the person it was sent to.

They are aware of it, but it doesn't seem they plan on doing anything about it. So if you sent an FR with any bad words, odds are that the person never saw it.

Now, as for the OP, it is hard to take on a ton of friends. On some days when you are in a really rough stretch, it can be really hard.
I have lost a lot, but then been stuck for seemingly forever. I often feel like a fraud when people talk about how great it is. On some days, I just don't want to be that guy.

EvilPink

See, I disagree. I think that, because you have 'been here' for so long, you think you have seniority/know whats best/etc etc. THAT'S being self-righteous, and mocking people because they ask serious questions, even if you have seen it a thousand times before, is RUDE and completely uncalled for. They have questions and are looking for serious answers. That's what this whole site is for!

If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all.

I don't think my 50 some odd posts qualifies as "senority" nor do I know what's best and never once have I said, "you must do ..." like I'm an expert. People come here for serious questions/answers, yes. And indeed, that's what this site is for which is why this site also has a handy search feature where common sense should dictate that maybe you search for your answer first.

If someone at your job came up to you and asked you numerous times a day where the copy paper is; first you'd start answering nicely. Then after a week or so you'd get annoyed and start answering with the polite words but with an undertone of frustration. After another week you'd start just getting mad and I guarantee you'd go home and start complaining to your spouse, friend, or whomever about the moron at work who can't do something as simple as remember where the paper is when you've told her a thousand times and how hard is it to use common sense and think hmmm, maybe the supply room would be a good place to start. Then, you'd finally just give in and to keep your sanity start making a joke out of it.

Come on, we all have people like this in our real or virtual lives and we all do the same thing...let's not pretend we don't. It's not self-righteous or claiming seniority. It's no different here with the 2 or 3 ridiculously redundant questions; the top one being, "should I eat back my exercise calories?"

rima933

Ok they whole friend request thing never actually happened to me. But someone posted a thread before about a girl saying I am currently not accepting any more friends. And maybe I saw that as being rude. But now that I think about it, maybe the other person wants to filter their list. Its their decision. I regret that part. HOWEVER, I want to make this clear. I am upset because of how some people thing they're "Mr. know it all" and they are rude when they answer some peoples questions. This didnt happen to me, like I said, but today I witnessed one of mfp's being utterly rude to someone who was just trying to suggest some information to them, and then they deleted them because of their opinion. The girl said to the successful girl, you shouldnt be losing anymore weight. the successful person said I am not doing it on purpose, the girl replied with "well it seems you are before youre eating less, and the successful one replies with you will be deleted. HMMM a little rude i think. Thats what triggered me to post this.

Brandicaloriecountess

Ok they whole friend request thing never actually happened to me. But someone posted a thread before about a girl saying I am currently not accepting any more friends. And maybe I saw that as being rude. But now that I think about it, maybe the other person wants to filter their list. Its their decision. I regret that part. HOWEVER, I want to make this clear. I am upset because of how some people thing they're "Mr. know it all" and they are rude when they answer some peoples questions. This didnt happen to me, like I said, but today I witnessed one of mfp's being utterly rude to someone who was just trying to suggest some information to them, and then they deleted them because of their opinion. The girl said to the successful girl, you shouldnt be losing anymore weight. the successful person said I am not doing it on purpose, the girl replied with "well it seems you are before youre eating less, and the successful one replies with you will be deleted. HMMM a little rude i think. Thats what triggered me to post this.

I know what you are saying. I DO see a lot of the same questions here time and time again. Sometimes I will reply, sometimes I just ignore the thread, sometimes I give good info but in a smart @ss way lol. BUT I do see the type of posts you are talking about, where people are just jerk-y about it because the question is dumb, to them. Well @ one point there was a lot I didn't know, and a lot I did wrong so I try NOT to be judgmental, or a jerk. On that note, because I am not my outlandish I think a lot of my posts just go unnoticed LOL

Elf_Princess1210

"...........but I've noticed that there are way more friendly people than cocky people. You just have to look in the right places. :flowerforyou:

this!

onedayillbeamilf

Why are there so many people on here that have lost weight, and succeeded, who act like they are big shots? They feel like they are so much better than everyone else. They decline friend requests, they're so rude, and when you ask them questions for help they ignore you. I am so sick and tired of these show-offs. Congratulations for your success, but seriously stop acting like you can step all over everyone else. If i ever reach my goal, I will make sure to help out anyone that needs me, but I cant say the same for everyone else.:huh:

Ummm, how about because they are? Whether it was 5 lbs or 300 lbs, struggling with the mental and physical issues that come with excess weight is a huge challenge and if one reaches their goal; they've accomplished a huge feat in life by working hard and they DESERVE to flaunt it! Not only that, but for many here, it serves as encouragement, motivation, and help on our own journey.

As far as ignoring someone for help or declining request or being "rude", there could be a million reasons for it. MFP has many glitches; they've been fixing a ton of them all weekend. I can't tell you how many times I get a friend request or an e-mail that doesn't show up for days. Or, someone comments on my feed and I don't get notified of it right away and it's weeks later before I see it. At this very moment, I have a friend request that I've approved 4 times and yet I still have the notification bar pop up telling me that I have a friend request; it seems to be stuck in some kind of MFP friend limbo.

And some people just don't want to add any ole internet stranger to their friends list either; imagine wanting to get to know someone a little better before just letting them be your "friend." Now that's real uppity; the nerve! Good grief...please someone tell me that this topic doesn't really exist and that I'm delirious from too low a carb intake. BTW...should I be eating back my exercise calories? :laugh:

Seriously your arrogance is the number one reason that this topic was posted. Get off your high horse.

I find you to be the rude one. There is nothing arrogant about a person having their own way of conducting their own MFP account.

Your last 2 sentences in your reply were uncalled for, and quite rude. I am stating my own opinion, you dont have to mock me. If you dont like it get out. Dont be rude to me on my own thread. No need for the rudeness. AS A MATTER OF FACT, ISN'T THAT WHY I POSTED THIS IN THE FIRST PLACE?!

Wow. I have no idea why people would possibly be rude to you. You're a real peach.

stupidloser

You know what is hella funny? I'll be at the gym and examining myself in the mirror to see if I made any visible progress and I would notice others look at me all mad like I'm showing off. I'm looking at these people in their skimpy tanktops and I'm thinking "ok, and you think I'm the showoff?". I'm in a hooded sweatshirt or a over-sized t-shirt that don't even fit because I'm too cheap too care enough to rush out and buy a new gym outfit.

SuperCork

Ok they whole friend request thing never actually happened to me. But someone posted a thread before about a girl saying I am currently not accepting any more friends. And maybe I saw that as being rude. But now that I think about it, maybe the other person wants to filter their list. Its their decision. I regret that part. HOWEVER, I want to make this clear. I am upset because of how some people thing they're "Mr. know it all" and they are rude when they answer some peoples questions. This didnt happen to me, like I said, but today I witnessed one of mfp's being utterly rude to someone who was just trying to suggest some information to them, and then they deleted them because of their opinion. The girl said to the successful girl, you shouldnt be losing anymore weight. the successful person said I am not doing it on purpose, the girl replied with "well it seems you are before youre eating less, and the successful one replies with you will be deleted. HMMM a little rude i think. Thats what triggered me to post this.

I don't know you whatsoever but am super impressed that you were able to consider your motivations in posting originally AND be brave enough to publicly note your regret. You just earned an FR from me, I won't be hurt if you decline it though

WifeNMama

"Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” -Marianne Williamson

Preach, brotha! :happy:

Pebble321

I think you have to remember that this is a community and everyone is here for their own reasons. Some people love the social side and the forum and love to share information or joke and play around (sometimes at other people's expense).
Others are here just for themselves and don't feel that they are obliged to share information or respond to unsolicited advice.
Don't take anything that happens on an internet forum to heart - you don't know the motivation behinds someone's actions and it's a waste of energy getting upset, especially when it is on someone else's behalf!

To give you a perspective from a person who has been here for almost 18 months (perhaps I'm a successful showoff, feel free to judge for yourself):
- I often decline friend requests, I already have almost a hundred people on my list (not that I've counted lately) and I struggle to work out who is who and adding more and more and more just makes it less and less meaningful.
- I don't often congratulate every one of my friends on completing their diary or going for a run. Often I'm on my phone app so I can't see their diaries, and I don't like to congratulate what I can't see.
- I have deleted people before and they have deleted me. I'm not in primary school anymore and I'm not going to run and cry that "she won't be my best friend anymore". This is the internet, not real life, and I'm not going to lose sleep over it. If someone sees value in having me on their friends list that's great, if for reasons of their own they don't want me on there - no problem!
- I frequently respond to questions I have seen OVER and OVER and OVER and OVER again. Mostly I'm patient and polite and kind because I know that everyone is new sometimes, and often people don't know there is a search function. Every now and again I'm a bit snappy in a response, though not usually to newbies. That's what I'm like in real life too, if you don't like it, feel free to ignore me!

Lozze

Your last 2 sentences in your reply were uncalled for, and quite rude. I am stating my own opinion, you dont have to mock me. If you dont like it get out. Dont be rude to me on my own thread. No need for the rudeness. AS A MATTER OF FACT, ISN'T THAT WHY I POSTED THIS IN THE FIRST PLACE?!

Take a deep breath, forget you wrote this and read it again. Do you now understand why people react to you the way they do?

I've had a similar situation with a MFP friend who was unhealthy. She kept dying week after week after week that she wasn't losing and every time you suggested eating more she'd hit the roof. I ended up deleting her. Who needs that?

rima933

Thanks all for the nice comments and support. And to the others, I realize i should have been more specific about the reason for my post, as their seems to have been some miscommunication. Relax and take a deep breath people. Chances are that I didnt intend this thread towards you.

TheFitHooker

I've lost a lot, not yet to my goal but I never reject a friend request. I don't understand a lot of it either. Not all of the successful people here are like that there are a few of us that are nice and willing to try and help others out. I do show off my progress a lot, and I do it because I'm proud of me. I never thought I could ever do it till I started doing it.

dvisser1

Why are there so many people on here that have lost weight, and succeeded, who act like they are big shots? They feel like they are so much better than everyone else. They decline friend requests, they're so rude, and when you ask them questions for help they ignore you. I am so sick and tired of these show-offs. Congratulations for your success, but seriously stop acting like you can step all over everyone else. If i ever reach my goal, I will make sure to help out anyone that needs me, but I cant say the same for everyone else.:huh:

I find it a little weird when I get a friend request without any accompanying message. If you want to be my online friend, at least say hi first. If it's a name I see on the forums I may accept their friend request without a message, but I generally decline without a message. What's the point of an online friend if they don't communicate?

As for being rude.....well, a lot of people are rude and inconsiderate in real life. Throw in that these forums are basically anonymous and it seems to let people feel they can say whatever they want without consequence. Sarcasm doesn't come across well in the written word, and people end up taking something that was meant humorously as very literal. You also get a lot of "this way worked for me so it must be the only right way" opinions. With so much bad information floating around and so many different right ways, that leads to a lot of arguments.

It's also a little irritating when every couple of days you see a new thread pop up asking the same old question. Irritating only in that people pose the question seemingly without having tried searching first. I will try to help whoever I can, but I don't feel bad in expecting someone do some homework for themselves. To make MFP really work, it takes personal accountability.

HMVOL7409

I am sorry you feel this way. I love helping people and encouraging people as much as I can. I don't always have the time but I've made every attempt to respond to messages as best as I can. I post my success on my personal profile bc it's away for me to journal what I've accomplished bc I can be my worst critic and I am in the process of changing that so it helps me stay positive. I would say I've encountered some rudeness but only on threads that there's quite a difference of opinion. Some aren't tactful in the how they state it. There are many supportive members who've helped me and I enjoy my FL even if we have different goals.

LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo

Haven't run across this issue myself.

Me too.

I'm sorry that you have to undergo that experience but sometimes people have other reasons why they decline friend request & its not because they think they don't need any new friends. I don't decline any friend requests & neither can't see why I should do it but anyway I respect the decisions of those people who would rather have a very few friend list. But there are a lot of people here who are supportive & are glad to have you as a friend. Although I already reached my goal weight but I don't really consider myself a successful yet & I feel that I can still improve my body more.

You can add me if you like :flowerforyou:

soulynyc

i haven't had this issue.. negative.

luvinmefirst

I have experienced the same thing here on MFP and vow to not be like these individuals once I get to my goal. However, have met a lot of A W E S O M E people as well

lacroyx

I've lost a lot, not yet to my goal but I never reject a friend request. I don't understand a lot of it either. Not all of the successful people here are like that there are a few of us that are nice and willing to try and help others out. I do show off my progress a lot, and I do it because I'm proud of me. I never thought I could ever do it till I started doing it.

I hate rejecting FR's. It makes me feel bad they are reaching out and I turn them away. I did one time by accident and I felt bad about it. I messaged the person right away and they laughed and accepted my FR. For the longest time I never deleted people either. The number of friends started getting outta control so I had to start making cuts. It's usually the people who have not logged on in over 1 month. I also try and be supportive as much as I can with any advice or questions people have but it's difficult with my strange hours. I am active but mainly during the night and then during the day I'll be asleep and miss out on a lot of peeps. As for showing off abs or something, lol. Nah too embarassed to probably ever have a shirtless pic on here. :embarassed:

As for the arrogant successful people the OP talks about? I haven't really noticed it.

Sarauk2sf

Why are there so many people on here that have lost weight, and succeeded, who act like they are big shots? They feel like they are so much better than everyone else. They decline friend requests, they're so rude, and when you ask them questions for help they ignore you. I am so sick and tired of these show-offs. Congratulations for your success, but seriously stop acting like you can step all over everyone else. If i ever reach my goal, I will make sure to help out anyone that needs me, but I cant say the same for everyone else.:huh:

Ummm, how about because they are? Whether it was 5 lbs or 300 lbs, struggling with the mental and physical issues that come with excess weight is a huge challenge and if one reaches their goal; they've accomplished a huge feat in life by working hard and they DESERVE to flaunt it! Not only that, but for many here, it serves as encouragement, motivation, and help on our own journey.

As far as ignoring someone for help or declining request or being "rude", there could be a million reasons for it. MFP has many glitches; they've been fixing a ton of them all weekend. I can't tell you how many times I get a friend request or an e-mail that doesn't show up for days. Or, someone comments on my feed and I don't get notified of it right away and it's weeks later before I see it. At this very moment, I have a friend request that I've approved 4 times and yet I still have the notification bar pop up telling me that I have a friend request; it seems to be stuck in some kind of MFP friend limbo.

And some people just don't want to add any ole internet stranger to their friends list either; imagine wanting to get to know someone a little better before just letting them be your "friend." Now that's real uppity; the nerve! Good grief...please someone tell me that this topic doesn't really exist and that I'm delirious from too low a carb intake. BTW...should I be eating back my exercise calories? :laugh:

Seriously your arrogance is the number one reason that this topic was posted. Get off your high horse.

Really? Really? - There was absolutely nothing arrogant about that post.

- Why shouldn't people post pictues of their abs - they work damn hard for them
- I find the folks that are successful are incredibly helpful and motivating
- why should someone accept FRs if they do not want to. For example, I will not accept a FR if I do not believe we have aligned goals and will delete if I find out later we do not. I want to be able to support my friends and vice versa - not just collect them
- I am sure the folks with the success stories have a load of FRs and PMs a day - they do have jobs and lives to live and are not responsible for anyone elses success

You really need to not take these things so personally as they are not about you

LynC33

They feel like they are so much better than everyone else.

How do you know what they feel? Dont assume the worst. They may be busy, be running around after kids, working etc...you dont know that they are ignoring you. And why shouldnt they flaunt it? They may have spent most of their adult lives being picked on and ridiculed for their weight and are extremely proud of their achievement. I personally dont like to put up pics of myself, but bravo to those that are confident enough to.

susannamarie

The ones that get to me are the ones lacking common sense. "I am thirsty, what should I do?"

My nose itches, what should I do?

Nerdy_Rose

I deny lots of FRs, especially without messages. Even after I accept, I feel it out to see if we are compatible as friends. I just don't click with some people, and I wish them the best of luck finding people they DO click with.

I am done with my "weight loss" but I still have fitness goals to work on (running, heavy lifting), and I log mostly to make sure I hit my protein macros.

I don't have time to keep up with everyone I have, as it is, as much as I them all.
I always respond to messages (just not immediately).

That said, I worked my booty off for almost a year now on this site, and I intend to keep working, but in the meantime, I will definitely "show off" what I've got. I've had 4 people from IRL tell me I "inspired them," and I hope my hard work would inspire people, not make them feel sad about where they are in their journey.