I feel stupid but...

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KAF711
KAF711 Posts: 165 Member
in Chit-Chat
i think it is so hard to make friends as an adult. i have friends from work, but outside of work i feel like i have no clue how to make a friend. it was so easy as a kid, you see another kid and boom youre friends. anyone have any ideas?
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Replies

  • Il_DaniD_lI
    Il_DaniD_lI Posts: 1,593 Member
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    Nope. I suck at it too.
  • Il_DaniD_lI
    Il_DaniD_lI Posts: 1,593 Member
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    Ps. I would totally be your new BFF.
  • sandown12
    sandown12 Posts: 648 Member
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    Me too I try to talk to mums at school years ago but they aren't very chatty to me so I gave up I've a few friends but I'm so busy I hardly see them

    Maybe start a hobby similar interests?
  • Drenched_N_Motivation
    Drenched_N_Motivation Posts: 1,004 Member
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    Nope. I suck at it too.


    Just walk around in your bikini, you'll be fine.
  • leynak
    leynak Posts: 963 Member
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    Don't have any tips to add. I just wanted to say that if you find out let me know. I haven't made a friend since I was 14. I guess it doesn't help that I'm pretty awkward socially.
  • nursedb
    nursedb Posts: 313 Member
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    I asked my very social bff how she does it ...I am a bit introverted...she said you always ask people questions about themselves. It's the subject they know best and find most interesting...from there you build...good luck hun....take a chance...ya never know!
  • Christine1110
    Christine1110 Posts: 1,786 Member
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    It is really much harder to make new friends now.
  • Raezor1207
    Raezor1207 Posts: 80 Member
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    Nope. I suck at it too.


    Just walk around in your bikini, you'll be fine.
    I was thinking the same thing. :laugh:
  • KAF711
    KAF711 Posts: 165 Member
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    my boyfriend and i have tried talking to people at bars when we go out, but this is a college town, and everyone is just there to get drunk. maybe we should join a gym with classes
  • tryinghard71
    tryinghard71 Posts: 593
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    Nope. I suck at it too.


    Just walk around in your bikini, you'll be fine.
    I was thinking the same thing. :laugh:

    Yep, that would work. :)
  • MeMyCatsandI
    MeMyCatsandI Posts: 704 Member
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    I suck at it too. But see if your area has a "meetup" sight were you can find people with similar interests. www.meetup.com
  • Feed_the_Bears
    Feed_the_Bears Posts: 275 Member
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    More people have this problem than are willing to admit I think :)

    As adults I think we underestimate the degree convenience plays into making friendships. At school, people were always there everyday so we pretty much had to make friends. As adults we don't really have that same expsosure to common ground. I'm going through the same thing right now, so basically I'm trying to nuture the friends I have, and get friendly with their other friends too. Or try joining some community centre activities like arobics classes or playing badmitton, or take a language, craft class. Invite some nice gals out for a coffee or something afterwards. You just have to go for it. It really can be like dating trying to make new friends.

    :) Chin up.
  • KAF711
    KAF711 Posts: 165 Member
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    Nope. I suck at it too.


    Just walk around in your bikini, you'll be fine.
    I was thinking the same thing. :laugh:

    i dont think those are the kinds of friends she wants
  • Jyster
    Jyster Posts: 74 Member
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    I think this is difficult to do, make friends that is. Especially if they are the opposite sex. One of the problems I find is that everyone who wants to be friends are usually not part of a healthy relationship. IE Everything has to be about them and you get nothing out of the friendship but a constant source of problems. I've cut a lot of ties in the last few years because if you are not good for me, then why do I want to spend what little time I have doing things for you?

    I take classes at the local tech school and meet a lot of people there but nothing has really blossomed into a good solid friendship. so yea, if someone has some great advice, let me know too :)
  • anabell31
    anabell31 Posts: 268
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    I agree with the hobbies. I do a lot of costuming and have made a ton of friends through it. It's like being a kid again! "HEY! I like your costume, let's be friends!"
  • Feed_the_Bears
    Feed_the_Bears Posts: 275 Member
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    I asked my very social bff how she does it ...I am a bit introverted...she said you always ask people questions about themselves. It's the subject they know best and find most interesting...from there you build...good luck hun....take a chance...ya never know!

    That's great. In business communication we learned something that suggested: at the end of a conversation where the other person just gets to talk about themselves most of the time, they tend to like you at the end of it lol.
  • Mgregory723
    Mgregory723 Posts: 529 Member
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    The only friend I have is my hubby, he is my BFF. Sad? Not really, I he will honest with me even it the truth hurts, he will support me and love me no matter what. However, it would be nice to have girlfriends to hang out with and talk to about "Girl things".
  • missattitude57
    missattitude57 Posts: 77
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    I totally agree!! I always feel like people my age already have their set group of friends and don't want/need any new ones...maybe I'm selling myself short here?
  • autumnk921
    autumnk921 Posts: 1,376 Member
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    Bump....Same problem here.. :(
  • jiggy_gibby
    jiggy_gibby Posts: 197
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    Be friendly to people at work but don't get too close. There's a reason for the saying "do not play in your own backyard"- too people watching over you and knowing your business - most people can't keep their mouth shut. And really do you want to know everyone at work that well?

    That said, join a club or take a class or take up a hobby! Common interests unite people and open the possibility of friendship!

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