I feel stupid but...

Phoenix1401

I met my friend last night he's REALLY angry though I guess its the duct tape, rope and chains bothering him also the roofies are wearing off.
sadpanda

Ellem86

I used to have the exact same issue of not meeting new people or making friends and I decided to finally do something about when it when I realised that not only is my current friendship group small but I rarely ever see my friends anymore because they have such busy schedules. I set myself the following goals to meet new people and they really have worked for me and I am happier now than I was a month ago:

1. Join clubs - This is an easy way to meet people with shared interests and makes it easier to talk to them as you instantly have something in common. I joined a book club. We meet once a month and I really love it, although I haven't met any of the other book club members outside work.

2. Accept every invitation that comes your way - I've stopped assuming I won't like something and started going to everything I am invited to even if I won't know anyone other than the person who has invited me. I'll be honest though and admit that I have so far needed a drink to stop feeling so shy. My boyfriend introduced me to his ex-colleague's wife, we hit it off and I met her and some of her friends for a lunch a week later. I am now going to her hen party next wee.

3. Look for online websites/groups designed for meeting new people - I found a website called City Socialising which basically arranges socialising events for people who want to get to know other people in the city. I've made some great friends on the site already even though I only joined a month ago and would highly recommend it. CS organises events around the world so just see if your city is listed.

I am soooo shy so if I can do the above (basically out of desperation!) then you can too!

On that note, any London girls send me a message and we can meet up for a coffee or something

Ekoria

I have a very small circle of friends (a few of which are on here) and I try to just make sure I have enough time to hang out with them.

I agree it is nearly impossible to make friends the older you get. I would suggest to seek people with similar interests OR see if there is any one here on MFP that lives close by that would like a friend to get coffee with?

Good luck

1shauna1

I agree, as an adult I haven't made a new friend since university (and that was almost 20 years ago!). I have people I talk with at work but we don't really do anything outside of work. I've always felt like a bit of an outsider anyways, which I think makes it harder. The poster with the advice about asking them questions has a good idea! People always like to talk abouit themselves!

calalily77

I find it very hard to make new friends now that I am older. When I moved to this town it was tough because all the other moms at school had their little groups just like in high school. Its frustrating. My best friends were pretty much my sister in laws and mom for awhile. Finally i met a few people that became really good friends, then it dwindled and now i am lucky to have 2 really awesome girl friends and thats enough. Any more then that is just too much drama for me. Good luck. The good part is that here on mfp you can make friends that you can become pretty close to since you have things in common. Feel free to add me if you want to add another girl friend here.

taxidermist15

Im too much of an introvert. If I meet new people, ill just listen rather than say much.

*stands around awkwardly*

misskerouac

I swear if I didn't have a sister I don't know who I'd talk to about things!

It's very hard as an adult to make new friends.

my friend I spent the most time with moved 12 hours away and my other 2 friends I used to hang out with quite often I don't anymore because they are quite a bit younger than me and every weekend is still about the bars and boys and i'm married and like to be in bed by midnight at the latest lol.

suzzann666

Glad to know I'm not the only one!!

mes1119

I have the same problem.

I honestly feel like I have NOTHING in common with people my age (lower 20s). They are all either pregnant, moms, engaged, married, etc.

I just graduated and I'm more focused on having a career and such before I settle down. I mean I have a long term boyfriend but still. It seems like people in their 20s are all growing up too fast.... sigh....

cutiekaylaa

I wasn't even good at making friends when I was little, lol.
Best of luck though.

taunto

I have the opposite problem. I find it incredibly easy to make acquaintances (I reserve the word friends to very very few people in the world) but I typically choose not hangout with most of them. Just my personality

PS. if you wanna make friends, it doesn't take more than "Hey wassup man". Maybe its the traveler in me or what but its just easy to take to people and you have to draw the folks outta their shell

jackpotclown

You're right, it is a bit more difficult when people are somewhat set in their ways....but it's getting nicer out there, I'd say go join a mixed league softball team, or a bowling league...those are people that like to be out but want to have fun afterward. It's like anything else, you just have to put yourselves out there \m/

luvmycandies

Read the book MWF seeks BFF. It is a great true story about a married woman seeking new friends.

Pookylou

So glad there are so many of us out there..... Kinda. I moved with my ex fiancé to a town where I knew no one, met a few people at my old job, but the ones I was closest to got married and moved :sad:
Since I split with my most recent ex my group of friends has gotten even smaller. Working 7days a week doesn't help the situation. No idea how I will make new friends or find a partner......

jdsmom0104

Yea me too... Been hurt by friends, so I have a big prob with that... Prob doesn't help that I look mean (ppl have told me that)... But I try to smile more n hope ppl talk to me lol my daughter makes faster friends than I do... She's 11 & thinks everyone's her bff

slowturtle1

More people have this problem than are willing to admit I think

As adults I think we underestimate the degree convenience plays into making friendships. At school, people were always there everyday so we pretty much had to make friends. As adults we don't really have that same expsosure to common ground. I'm going through the same thing right now, so basically I'm trying to nuture the friends I have, and get friendly with their other friends too. Or try joining some community centre activities like arobics classes or playing badmitton, or take a language, craft class. Invite some nice gals out for a coffee or something afterwards. You just have to go for it. It really can be like dating trying to make new friends.

Chin up.

I thought I was the only one until reading this post! My husband and I talk about it all the time, wondering what's different now and why this is so hard! I have tried to focus on nurturing the friendships I have, but over the years many of us have just gone different directions in life. There are some friends I could make more effort with, though. Still, it would be nice to find some like-minded couple friends. It's true that it takes effort and stepping out of your comfort zone, I think. Like dating, you have to be willing to put yourself out there and see what happens. Good luck to the OP and everyone else!

manderson27

I am a firm believer in quality over quantity.

But just smiling and being friendly yourself makes you approachable. A cheerful hello, how are you today goes a long way and people remember you as that nice lady/girl who always says hello. You can build on that I am sure.:flowerforyou:

Hairotica

I know how you feel. Thank goodness I have my daughters. I work in a large office where I get on really well with the girls there but they don't really seem to want close friends and none of them really see each other after work anyway. Joining clubs is always recomeneded but my experience is that people either join with a friend anyway and don't want a third playing gooseberry or they just grab their stuff after and leave. Im very friendly and have done the asking questions and the trying to be sure its not actually me but but its incredibly hard.

slowturtle1

I met my friend last night he's REALLY angry though I guess its the duct tape, rope and chains bothering him also the roofies are wearing off.
sadpanda

^^^LMAO! Yep, that's a sure way to run them off...once they get free from the chains.

mtaylor33557

Some of the best friends I've made in my adult life have been through our church.

We got into a small group, and met people our age, with kids our age, with similar values and interests.. and now we are all very close. Our kids love growing up together!

walkwithme1

When I was 22 I gave up a very rowdy lifestyle and lost all my friends. Started going to church and met some amazing women! Much easier to make friends in that type of setting. But that's just me. At work, I'm the boss so I have no friends there.
The ladies I'm friends with (some better than other) get together once a month for dinner and it's really relaxed easy way to get to know them better.

heatherrose9

ugh! I AGREE! My boyfriend and I don't have family where we leave and it'd be nice to have 'couples friends' to hang out on weekends with, holidays, etc!

Pookylou

Im too much of an introvert. If I meet new people, ill just listen rather than say much.

*stands around awkwardly*

*whispers* hi *shuffles about while looking at shoes*

nessagrace22

I know what you mean, it gets so much harder as you get older and it's worse when your single. All the friends I had growing up and now either married or have young kids so we have nothing in common.

It doesn't help that people are so unapproachable. I said hello to a girl next to me in the gym recently and from the look she gave me you would have thought I'd asked for the blood of the 1st born :devil:

TaintedVampyre

Man, I'm 22 and I don't have the same social behaviours as the average young adult. I have no issue talking to people at work or if I'm forced into a situation, but my boyfriend seems to be my only view to the outside world. Good thing he's okay with me tagging along sometimes even if I don't understand half of what is going on :P

mrmanmeat

i think it is so hard to make friends as an adult. i have friends from work, but outside of work i feel like i have no clue how to make a friend. it was so easy as a kid, you see another kid and boom youre friends. anyone have any ideas?

It's pretty much the same as an adult.

Common interests, etc.

crimznrose

So glad it's not just me. Outside of work and my kids it seems like I have no opportunity to make friends. Those movies where there's women who've been lifelong friends always made me wonder what was wrong with me to pretty much be a loner who's little more than a working mom.

smantha32

Most of my friends are from work or the internet.
I do have really good, longtime friends from the net though. One I've known 13 years and we even take trips together every couple years.
But I think it's just like meeting people in person... you have to wade through a lot of acquaintances before you meet one person you really can relate to.

TNFirefly

It bites. My friends are pretty much online. I suck at the real world.

smiley245

So glad it's not just me. Outside of work and my kids it seems like I have no opportunity to make friends. Those movies where there's women who've been lifelong friends always made me wonder what was wrong with me to pretty much be a loner who's little more than a working mom.

This ^^ Outside of one friend from HS ive kept in contact through facebook .....I have my kids and my family. Not quite sure how to go about meeting new ppl. It probably doesnt help that I am quite shy and never have a clue what to talk about IRL. (I feel like small talk makes me sound dumb..."nice weather were having"....and being quite ppl think im a snob....sigh...)