I feel stupid but...

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  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
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    I have the opposite problem. I find it incredibly easy to make acquaintances (I reserve the word friends to very very few people in the world) but I typically choose not hangout with most of them. Just my personality

    PS. if you wanna make friends, it doesn't take more than "Hey wassup man". Maybe its the traveler in me or what but its just easy to take to people and you have to draw the folks outta their shell
  • jackpotclown
    jackpotclown Posts: 3,291 Member
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    You're right, it is a bit more difficult when people are somewhat set in their ways....but it's getting nicer out there, I'd say go join a mixed league softball team, or a bowling league...those are people that like to be out but want to have fun afterward. It's like anything else, you just have to put yourselves out there \m/
  • luvmycandies
    luvmycandies Posts: 489 Member
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    Read the book MWF seeks BFF. It is a great true story about a married woman seeking new friends.
  • Pookylou
    Pookylou Posts: 988 Member
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    So glad there are so many of us out there..... Kinda. I moved with my ex fiancé to a town where I knew no one, met a few people at my old job, but the ones I was closest to got married and moved :sad:
    Since I split with my most recent ex my group of friends has gotten even smaller. Working 7days a week doesn't help the situation. No idea how I will make new friends or find a partner......
  • jdsmom0104
    jdsmom0104 Posts: 236
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    Yea me too... Been hurt by friends, so I have a big prob with that... Prob doesn't help that I look mean (ppl have told me that)... But I try to smile more n hope ppl talk to me lol my daughter makes faster friends than I do... She's 11 & thinks everyone's her bff
  • slowturtle1
    slowturtle1 Posts: 284 Member
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    More people have this problem than are willing to admit I think :)

    As adults I think we underestimate the degree convenience plays into making friendships. At school, people were always there everyday so we pretty much had to make friends. As adults we don't really have that same expsosure to common ground. I'm going through the same thing right now, so basically I'm trying to nuture the friends I have, and get friendly with their other friends too. Or try joining some community centre activities like arobics classes or playing badmitton, or take a language, craft class. Invite some nice gals out for a coffee or something afterwards. You just have to go for it. It really can be like dating trying to make new friends.

    :) Chin up.

    I thought I was the only one until reading this post! My husband and I talk about it all the time, wondering what's different now and why this is so hard! I have tried to focus on nurturing the friendships I have, but over the years many of us have just gone different directions in life. There are some friends I could make more effort with, though. Still, it would be nice to find some like-minded couple friends. It's true that it takes effort and stepping out of your comfort zone, I think. Like dating, you have to be willing to put yourself out there and see what happens. Good luck to the OP and everyone else!
  • manderson27
    manderson27 Posts: 3,510 Member
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    I am a firm believer in quality over quantity.

    But just smiling and being friendly yourself makes you approachable. A cheerful hello, how are you today goes a long way and people remember you as that nice lady/girl who always says hello. You can build on that I am sure.:flowerforyou:
  • Hairotica
    Hairotica Posts: 24
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    I know how you feel. Thank goodness I have my daughters. I work in a large office where I get on really well with the girls there but they don't really seem to want close friends and none of them really see each other after work anyway. Joining clubs is always recomeneded but my experience is that people either join with a friend anyway and don't want a third playing gooseberry or they just grab their stuff after and leave. Im very friendly and have done the asking questions and the trying to be sure its not actually me but but its incredibly hard.
  • slowturtle1
    slowturtle1 Posts: 284 Member
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    I met my friend last night he's REALLY angry though :/ I guess its the duct tape, rope and chains bothering him also the roofies are wearing off.
    sadpanda

    ^^^LMAO! Yep, that's a sure way to run them off...once they get free from the chains.
  • mtaylor33557
    mtaylor33557 Posts: 542 Member
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    Some of the best friends I've made in my adult life have been through our church.

    We got into a small group, and met people our age, with kids our age, with similar values and interests.. and now we are all very close. Our kids love growing up together!
  • walkwithme1
    walkwithme1 Posts: 492 Member
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    When I was 22 I gave up a very rowdy lifestyle and lost all my friends. Started going to church and met some amazing women! Much easier to make friends in that type of setting. But that's just me. At work, I'm the boss so I have no friends there.
    The ladies I'm friends with (some better than other) get together once a month for dinner and it's really relaxed easy way to get to know them better.
  • heatherrose9
    heatherrose9 Posts: 122 Member
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    ugh! I AGREE! My boyfriend and I don't have family where we leave and it'd be nice to have 'couples friends' to hang out on weekends with, holidays, etc!
  • Pookylou
    Pookylou Posts: 988 Member
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    Im too much of an introvert. If I meet new people, ill just listen rather than say much.

    *stands around awkwardly*

    *whispers* hi *shuffles about while looking at shoes*
  • nessagrace22
    nessagrace22 Posts: 430 Member
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    I know what you mean, it gets so much harder as you get older and it's worse when your single. All the friends I had growing up and now either married or have young kids so we have nothing in common.

    It doesn't help that people are so unapproachable. I said hello to a girl next to me in the gym recently and from the look she gave me you would have thought I'd asked for the blood of the 1st born :devil:
  • TaintedVampyre
    TaintedVampyre Posts: 1,428 Member
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    Man, I'm 22 and I don't have the same social behaviours as the average young adult. I have no issue talking to people at work or if I'm forced into a situation, but my boyfriend seems to be my only view to the outside world. Good thing he's okay with me tagging along sometimes even if I don't understand half of what is going on :P
  • mrmanmeat
    mrmanmeat Posts: 1,968 Member
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    i think it is so hard to make friends as an adult. i have friends from work, but outside of work i feel like i have no clue how to make a friend. it was so easy as a kid, you see another kid and boom youre friends. anyone have any ideas?

    It's pretty much the same as an adult.

    Common interests, etc.
  • crimznrose
    crimznrose Posts: 282 Member
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    So glad it's not just me. Outside of work and my kids it seems like I have no opportunity to make friends. Those movies where there's women who've been lifelong friends always made me wonder what was wrong with me to pretty much be a loner who's little more than a working mom.
  • smantha32
    smantha32 Posts: 6,990 Member
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    Most of my friends are from work or the internet.
    I do have really good, longtime friends from the net though. One I've known 13 years and we even take trips together every couple years.
    But I think it's just like meeting people in person... you have to wade through a lot of acquaintances before you meet one person you really can relate to.
  • TNFirefly
    TNFirefly Posts: 169 Member
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    It bites. My friends are pretty much online. I suck at the real world.
  • smiley245
    smiley245 Posts: 420 Member
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    So glad it's not just me. Outside of work and my kids it seems like I have no opportunity to make friends. Those movies where there's women who've been lifelong friends always made me wonder what was wrong with me to pretty much be a loner who's little more than a working mom.

    This ^^ Outside of one friend from HS ive kept in contact through facebook .....I have my kids and my family. Not quite sure how to go about meeting new ppl. It probably doesnt help that I am quite shy and never have a clue what to talk about IRL. (I feel like small talk makes me sound dumb..."nice weather were having"....and being quite ppl think im a snob....sigh...)

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