Closed Diary's

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  • NanaDino4
    NanaDino4 Posts: 63
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    IMHO I feel that it is up to each and everyone here to do what they see fit and if they want it opened or closed it is up to them, but on the other hand if you come on here and say things like..."I eat my 1200 and exercise but not losing..what am I doing wrong?" well if diary is closed noone can help you and the same goes for any kind of comment where you ask for help or say I am on plateau what can I do different...so if you aren't willing to have your diary viewed then don't ask for help with how you are doing when it comes to eating and trying to lose.
  • herstrawberri
    herstrawberri Posts: 347 Member
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    Mine is closed because it's not anyones business. I'm the only person I need to be accountable too. I don't need some person who thinks that have all the answers telling me what to eat when chances are they don't. Everyone is different. WHY is this SUCH a big deal? WHY would someone un-friend someone for keeping their diary closed? If someone wants to un-friend me because of it...so be it. I honestly don't care. I'm here for me.
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
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    Mine is closed to people I am not friends with. The only reason I have it open to friend is because I am "friends" with my husband who copies my meals because they also his meals.

    I hate feedback on my food journal, honestly. You don't know if somebody had a "good day" just because they were under their calorie goals (they could be sick, stressed -- you have no idea) -- you don't know if you should really be telling somebody "tomorrow will be better" if they went over -- I go over when I feel like my body needs it and I am not worried about it for a second.

    I don't need strangers monitoring and commenting on my food intake -- unless I have a very specific question. Unless that happens -- oh wait it won't cause I'll ask a doctor, my diary is closed.
  • aclark6818
    aclark6818 Posts: 209 Member
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    The only time it bothers me when people's diaries are closed is when they ask, "Why am I not losing weight?". We can't really answer that question if the diary is not open. Other than that, that is their choice.
  • SmallMimi
    SmallMimi Posts: 541 Member
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    Because some people don't want the support aspect of the site, they just want the tools.

    ^^This^^ and closed mine after someone decided they needed to review my eating habits and tell me what I need to change, feel I'm doing just fine and did not solicite comments or suggestions. I eat what I eat and it is not up to anyone on MFP to tell me if I am not doing it right just because it is not the way they are doing it.
  • TaintedVampyre
    TaintedVampyre Posts: 1,428 Member
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    Because some people don't want the support aspect of the site, they just want the tools.

    So why add friends if all you want are the tools?
  • MustBeTheRows
    MustBeTheRows Posts: 377 Member
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  • Elzecat
    Elzecat Posts: 2,916 Member
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    I like to have friends on here, I love to see their weight loss progress, I like to encourage them to a new and healthier lifestyle but that doesnt mean I need to criticize their choices.

    Yup.
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
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    If they are my friend, I tell them I don't like it because I can't keep them accountable for being healthy if I can't see what they are eating or how far under they ate (alot of people with ED's on here and I DON'T want to encourage that). And I'm not going to go around calling people out on what they ate, unless we are close MFPers. But if someone ate all fresh vegetables, lean meats, healthy stuff all day and are under, I am going to compliment their diary. If they ate all Mcdonalds and cheesecake, even if they stayed under goal I'm not going to compliment them. I think there is more to MFP than just staying UNDER your goal, although it is an important part.

    If they ask me how to open it I tell them. .

    If they keep it closed, I defriend them. :ohwell: I feel bad doing it, but I can't really be your "friend" if you are keeping that significant of a secret from me.

    If they are not my friend I don't even look anyway...unless they are posting for help in a message board or something.

    Some people aren't on here to make friends. Some people are merely using MFP as a tool to utilize towards their fitness.
  • k8blujay2
    k8blujay2 Posts: 4,941 Member
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    Mine is open to my friends only... why? because I don't want random people on the site chasitising me because I had a sonic breakfast burrito for breakfast this morning... I have knowledgable friends that if I ever needed someone to whip my *kitten* for my eating I know where to go to...
  • Sarah_Wins
    Sarah_Wins Posts: 936 Member
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    None of your business why.....if their diary is closed just don't comment on it.

    Awesomeness
  • pornstarzombie
    pornstarzombie Posts: 297
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    My diary fluctuates between being open to friends, to being closed. Half the time I do not look at anyone elses' diary, unless I am concerned for the person or just feeling nosy.

    I feel it is my choice, however I also feel that I shouldn't be whining and asking for advice if it isn't open and people can't see my diary to help me.
  • Elzecat
    Elzecat Posts: 2,916 Member
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    Because some people don't want the support aspect of the site, they just want the tools.

    So why add friends if all you want are the tools?

    You can get support in other ways than a "way to go" comment on your food diary, ya know...I've found a group of local folks to hike with, I've met people to invite to my running group, I add people who have the same fitness interests as me, or similar goals, or people who ask for advice...or just because they are friends of friends and sound interesting or funny...I don't need everyone on my friends list to comment on my daily food intake, even though my diary is open to friends and sometimes they do comment.

    I have friends on here who have private diaries, friends who do low carb, friends who do 1200 calories, friends who do 3200 calories, friends who do paleo, friends who eat out a lot because of their jobs, etc, etc, etc...if it's working for them, that's great! If they ask for advice, I'd make suggestions based on what's worked for me personally. If they don't ask for advice, I'm not going to give unsolicited advice on their diary. It's not my business.

    I love the comment someone posted a while back "I'll do me, and you do you." Great advice.

    Happy Friday ya'all!
    :glasses:
  • Southernb3lle
    Southernb3lle Posts: 862 Member
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    Why does it matter? Unless they are asking for input/advice. Isn't everyone an individual and able to do what THEY want?
  • Elzecat
    Elzecat Posts: 2,916 Member
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    None of your business why.....if their diary is closed just don't comment on it.

    Awesomeness

    the other awesomeness is your ticker photo--I am hoping to see that movie this weekend!
  • HauteP1nk
    HauteP1nk Posts: 2,139 Member
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    Some ppl don't realize it is closed.
  • sheila569
    sheila569 Posts: 269 Member
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    The only time it bothers me when people's diaries are closed is when they ask, "Why am I not losing weight?". We can't really answer that question if the diary is not open. Other than that, that is their choice.

    ^^^ THIS

    Its a personal choice whether or not to have it opened. Mine is closed, because what I eat is my business. I respond daily to those on my friends list when they are under their calorie goal, loose weight, put in a workout, etc... and I don't care if I can't see their diary. What if they fall under their calorie goal and I look at their diary and they had a twinkie as a snack? Do I say "you go girl, but dang did you really need that twinkie". NO. The object is to motivate each other - not pick people apart.
  • Southernb3lle
    Southernb3lle Posts: 862 Member
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    WHY would someone un-friend someone for keeping their diary closed? If someone wants to un-friend me because of it...so be it. I honestly don't care. I'm here for me.

    *claps* Amen there!
  • jcpmoore
    jcpmoore Posts: 796 Member
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    Not everyone on MFP wants support with their diary. To think this is the only kind of support you can offer is very narrow. I have friends on MFP not so they can view or evaluate my eating, but so we can truly interact. We tell each other new ideas for exercise, what we're doing next weekend, and more. I ask my MFP friends questions directly- "What do you do when you can't run for exercise?" and stuff like that.

    They don't need to see my diary to support me. They can see my exercise posts. They can post on my wall. If I don't log in for three days, they see that and can message me. If I post that I missed my morning workout but will do tonight, they'll respond to my post and ask if I did it at 6 that night. There are so many ways to support one another without seeing someone's diary that I don't see why it's an issue for you.

    I used to keep my diary open only to friends, because I am trying to follow an eating plan that helps my CFS. I don't need to be defending my choices to random people who don't know me. Now I leave it wide open to anyone and ignore those questions that are ignorant. But most of us just don't want to defend our food choices to strangers.
  • BVannillie
    BVannillie Posts: 140
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    I record my calories for me, not for anyone else. I don't need anyone else to see my diary. I am here for me and not for other people to judge my food choices. There is a support system here that can be had and is good to have without them needing to see what I ate today.
    If they are my friend, I tell them I don't like it because I can't keep them accountable for being healthy if I can't see what they are eating or how far under they ate (alot of people with ED's on here and I DON'T want to encourage that). And I'm not going to go around calling people out on what they ate, unless we are close MFPers. But if someone ate all fresh vegetables, lean meats, healthy stuff all day and are under, I am going to compliment their diary. If they ate all Mcdonalds and cheesecake, even if they stayed under goal I'm not going to compliment them. I think there is more to MFP than just staying UNDER your goal, although it is an important part.

    If they ask me how to open it I tell them. .

    If they keep it closed, I defriend them. :ohwell: I feel bad doing it, but I can't really be your "friend" if you are keeping that significant of a secret from me.

    If they are not my friend I don't even look anyway...unless they are posting for help in a message board or something.

    Honestly people shouldn't need YOU to keep them accountable for their food choices. They need to keep themselves accountable because they won't always have someone saying "you ate too many calories today, bad you!" Or "you need to eat more calories, bad you!" "you had pizza, nooO! mortal sin!" Or whatever needs to be said to "keep them accountable". I can definitely understand not wanting to encourage eating disorders, but other than that...no big deal.

    I agree. My diary is open, but even if it wasn't it's not for anyone to tell me I had a bad day. If I had a bad day it would be obvious to me from my dairy and I don't need anyone pointing out the obvious to me. Also, some people on here act like if you eat something that is remotely 'unhealthy' you deserve to be scolded. I plan on having some ice cream for desert tonight, it's none of anyone's business. I don't need a dictator telling my grown *kitten* self what to do. Some people welcome that kind of thing, it keeps them motivated, others just want people to butt out and mind their own.

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